Pregnancy 35+ Community
What is wrong with me?
About This Community:

Our Pregnancy Support Forum is for women 35 years and older. This is where you can communicate with other women who share your interest in pregnancy and childbirth issues. This forum is not monitored by medical professionals.

Font Size:
A
A
A
Background:
Blank
Blank
Blank
Blank Blank

What is wrong with me?

I was married when i was 17. I am now 32 and married to another man. I never used birth control with my first husband whom i started having sex with when i was 13. I never became pregnant by hiim. When we were seperated I was 20 years old and I had a one night stand (Please do not judge me of my past. I was young and I am ashamed of it). I became pregnant and had my 12 year old son from my one night stand. Thank god he was a decent man and is a great father. Anyway, Ive been with my second husband since i was 21. It has been 11 years that we have lived together and I have never gotten pregnant by him. What the hell is wrong with me?
18 Comments Post a Comment
Blank
134578_tn?1404951303
Maybe you marry men who don't have a high sperm count.
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
Thanks for your answer.
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
My first husband is remarried and has 3 kids with his second wife.
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
All things haappen for a reason.  Thank God you were blessed with a child.
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
Have they done blood work to find out if there is a reason your not getting pregnant? I don't mean that rude. I have a problem myself I can get pregnant but can't keep it.  They had to run all kinds of test on me.
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
I have witnessed 3 people who went through the same thing. Married no kids and when they remarried they had many kids. Testing helps.
Blank
134578_tn?1404951303
I hope you don't think I was being facetious, I was just saying that maybe the fault is not you, but your spouse.  Does either guy have kids with someone else?  It would be too bad to accidentally choose two guys in a row that have low sperm count, but having a sperm test done is relatively simple and it's def. the first thing that fertility docs will check.  Don't blame yourself until you have to, or at least don't automatically blame yourself.

Blank
13167_tn?1327197724
Very often couples are infertile when each individual partner isn't infertile.

You're not infertile,  and your first husband is also not infertile since both of you have children with other partners.

There are so many dynamics that have to work perfectly to result in a pregnancy - the woman's body ph has to be "safe" for sperm,  the path to the egg has to be clear,  etc.  A man with slightly low sperm county and motility may not be able to get her pregnant,  but  a man with a very high sperm county that is very healthy,  mobile and long-lived may be able to.

The same way,  a woman with very "safe" ph for sperm and completely clear fallopian tubes who ovulates predictably with healthy,  live eggs may be able to get pregnant with a partner with lower sperm count and motility.

At this point,  if you want to get pregnant by your current husband,  I agree with the others - you need to get tested to find out what's keeping the two of you from being able to conceive.
Blank
4738473_tn?1360039398
Have you been actually tring to get pregnant or just relaxed and not preventing? I have a close friend that activly tried for 6 years and was so stressed out with not being able to do so. They both got tested and showed no issues. They had finally decided to adopt 2 children and had barely had them a month when she found out she was pg. Her dr told her she most likely stressed to much and once she was distracted and not intent on becoming pg it seemed to happen for them. They now have 2 of thier own and 2 adopted children.
Blank
134578_tn?1404951303
I didn't see where the first husband had kids by another partner.  
Blank
13167_tn?1327197724
Annie,  it's in her third post in this thread.
Blank
134578_tn?1404951303
Thanks, RR.  

Anyway, to the o.p., if you can, you should see a fertility doc with your husband, and both of you get some testing done.
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
Thanks for your answer. No, I have not been trying. I just figured if it happened that would be great. But nothing happens.
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
Thanks, I will!
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
You are right. I was blessed with a beautiful son but I cant shake that feeling of wanting a child with my husband.
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
No tests yet. He wont go.
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
Thanks for all of the info. It was very helpful.
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
Thank u
Blank
Post a Comment
To
Blank
Weight Tracker
Weight Tracker
Start Tracking Now
Pregnancy 35+ Community Resources
RSS Expert Activity
242532_tn?1269553979
Blank
Control Emotional Eating with this ...
Sep 04 by Roger Gould, M.D.Blank
242532_tn?1269553979
Blank
Emotional Eating Control: How to St...
Aug 28 by Roger Gould, M.D.Blank
233488_tn?1310696703
Blank
New Cannabis Article from NORTH Mag...
Jul 20 by John C Hagan III, MD, FACS, FAAOBlank
Top Pregnancy Answerers
6628393_tn?1398792876
Blank
kennimae
Avatar_f_tn
Blank
momof2expectingsept
7174950_tn?1406664709
Blank
tishaxx
7757724_tn?1396283186
Blank
HannahJohnson
none of your business, OH
Avatar_f_tn
Blank
mamabear8911
Avatar_f_tn
Blank
libellula