Will this be your last baby or will you try for a sibling?

[slippinandsliddin]

My honey and I are around 40 and we both have much older children (some "adults" or near adults.) This will be our first child together. (We had a child a long time ago ... that is in Heaven now.)

So we are watching TV last night and he looks at me and says would you like to have another child after this one? I answered I thought I would. I would love for them to have a sibling- their age. But I told him we would have to do it right away ... I am no SPRING CHICKEN. Maybe I am crazy- I donno. Time may be completely against us- it took us 2 yrs of trying for this baby. :) I also don't know if my old body could handle back to back pregnancies or how long of a span is better in between ...

Any other pregnant women out there my age who are thinking/planning to try for another after you have this baby or will this be your last?

[forestfairie]

This was a "surprise" pregnancy for my boyfriend and I and Im not sure if we would have any more. We are both 37 (Ill be 38 when I deliver) and we already have 4 children between us (his boys 15 and 12 and my girls 12 and 11). We knew we wanted to have a child together someday but clearly there was another plan in the works. I do worry about the risks of having another and being 40 or close to it too.

[rubyinparadise]

That's a really good point. I know for me, it was really easy to fixate on "TTC" during all the months that I wasn't getting pregnant. My sister and my brother both have just one child each, and they are really awesome and exceptional (and very happy) kids. I really want my husband and I just to take a "if it happens, it happens" approach and try not to fixate on having a second. Ultimately, it's not all up to us anyway, and we just feel so grateful for this healthy pregnancy.

[kmgr32]

I had our first daughter when I was 37.  When she was about 5 months old we got pregnant again but unfortunately, miscarried.  I was sure I wanted another one.  I had 3 siblings and couldn't imagine our daughter not having a sibling.  We unfortunatley miscarried again about 9 months after the first m/c.  I was still very certain I wanted another and thankfully we are now 17 weeks pregnant.  I will be 41 when this baby is born.  I really struggled during the past 3 years of knowing I wanted one but wasn't sure I would be able to get and stay pregnant.  It is so easy to say and so hard to do but I wished I could have just let go and enjoyed my daughter during that time.  I really was so focused on getting pregnant again that I lost focus on what I already had.  Just a bit of advice if you do try for another one.

[naturschld]

I had my first child at 39.  I started trying again this spring and just turned 42 a week ago.  If I'm successful and if its another boy, I don't know if I would try again (I would like a girl).  And how much success I would have by then.  

[Super_sally888]

I had my first baby at 38, 9 1/2 months ago. Am already trying for no. 2.  I had a pretty complicated pregnancy (age related issues) and hoping no. 2 happens.  Given time is against me want the kids close together.  Will try for No. 3 after no. 2, maybe.  Then that will be it (unless all 3 are girls, in which case I may be crazy enough to let No. 4 happen, if it would).

[stillwaiting52]

I have 2 sons and I will be 40 next month, the oldest is 8 and I have a 13month old. I am 5 weeks pregnant with their sibling and it was definitely planned! It took us 14 months to get pregnant last time but now that we know so much more and what worked for us it only took 5 months of ttc this time. Best wishes to you in what ever you decided!

[adgal]

I will be 41 when he is born, and I will absolutely be trying for a second.  I grew up an only child and I really want my little boy to have a brother or sister.  I am very realistic about it though, and given the struggle I had in having this little guy know that my chances aren't great.  We are going to be pursuing adoption when he is about a year old.  If I am able to have a second the "regular" way, then 3 it will be!  

[rubyinparadise]

So funny you asked this- I'll be 39 at delivery. Wanted to start a couple of years sooner but DH was on the fence. Now he wants two! LOL. I may try for one more around age 41. I am now the one who is undecided. :)

[PamelaBee]

I had both my babies over 40.  Personally, I wish I would have had them in my early 30's, but I was in a different mindset then.  I won't lie, it's hard...there are good days and bad.  My energy level has tanked somewhere between the crying, changing diapers and feedings...my almost 3yr old son has turned into Satans child the day we brought home his baby sister.  So to answer your question...at this point and age of my life I would not have anymore babies.  Be it 10yrs ago, I'd have a family as big as the Waltons!

[oceanv]

I think it's different for everone, why you would or wouldn't.
I delivered at the end of September and had a tubal at the same time.

We gave it quite a bit of thought as to why or why not, whether we would regret the decision if things went bad after delivery etc... we still came to the conclusion that tubal and having only one child would be the best scenario (medical conditions, pregnancy not my favorite thing, financial and emotional requirements of 1 child vs 2) etc.....

plus now we're in the no sleep new born, infant stage and i seriously think my brain is going to explode if she doesn't start sleeping more than 2 hours in a row soon.

we feel blessed that we have one healthy child, didn't want to rock the boat.
j (40 in january)

Mackenzie, 09/29/09, 37w1d, 5lbs12.5oz