Aa
having surgery and need advise
Okay ladies I need someone to maybe help me come to grips with a descion. So on May 6th im having surgery to lift my bladder. At my consult my docotr informed me that I could have my tubes tied at the same time and recommened it because having this "lift" means having no more babies. Now I have always been against this not wanting to do anything permenent, but I also know we are done having babies..................at this point in my life. But im still young, I know I will regret it but, if I have this surgery I cant have anymore kids anyways so does it matter??? I am so confused right now. I hate my DH at the moment and who the heck know the future right?? I just hate the thought of NEVER having a choice again. I have even concidered cancelling my surgery and learning to deal with all my bladder issues:( UGH! How the heck do I deside this? I dont understand the reason to NEVER have anymore kids after this. The doctor says the damage from childbirth most likely wont be repairable after having my lift. I have had all my hope on an "opps" for having any future children, since DH says no more. Honestly we cant have anymore right now anyways but...................what about the future??? This is really depressing. My BF and my mom have both told me to do it cause I dont need anymore kids and im getting old. Anyone over 30 to them is too old to have children. They think im crazy when I mention the woman on this site in their 40's having babies. I always said I would be done by age 30 too. I dont even know what im asking. Thanks for taking the time to read this:)
thank you guys. Surgery went great and im happy to report that my doctor couldnt do the tubal!! I was too late desiding that I wanted it done. Sadly I do still need it so at my 6 week post op I will be schedulaing another surgery, grrr! I am sadly getting no help. DH was at the hospital with me and for a few hours after we got home. My MIL was supposed to be helping me but so far all she has been doing is complaining about a headache and how the kids are driving her nuts or about how tired she is:( So sadly I just gave my little ones a bath and put them to bed myself. Also I have no idea how im going to make it 6 weeks without lifting anything over 10 pounds:( So far today I broke that rule at least 4 times. I went to the grocery store and had no help with the bags so I know I lifed more than I should have:( oh well life goes on:(
I'm so sorry...I am praying that your surgery went very well and that you will be able to update us soon!
okay ladies I am going into surgery at 6am tomorrow and im scared sh**less:( They will not be cutting me and going throu my stomach but throu my yahoo. So that worries me ALOT. Also I have desided that if they will still do the tubal I will be doing it:( Honestly I can see our situation improving. We are in the prosess of lossing our house. I dont think we will ever be comfortable money wise. I havent been to college, Im not that smart and would never make enough money working. DH busts his A** and we dont make ends meat and he never see our kids as it is. He doesnt want anymore and as happy as I would be with an OPPS baby I would have no idea how we would make it:( My oldest told me today he doesnt want any more brothers or sisters because we never have enough money for him to join sports and other activities as it is. I felt horrible when he told me this:( Anyways I plan on having a good length talk to my doctor before my surgery to see if they can just do the clamps on my tubes. I have read that its the easiest to reverse for the just incase we ever win the lottery kind of senerio. Anyways, wish me luck ladies, im scared and sad tonight:(
Just read this... you are making the right decision. In your position, I would NOT have the surgery, in fact, I NEVER would. If we have "one more", we will be done, but DH will have to be the one to get "fixed", so-to-speak, so that MY options are still open. LoL. Sorry to hear of your issues w your man, too. Things can change quickly-- for better OR for worse. Hang in there, hun! You have a lot to deal w already. (((hugs))))
Aww honey, I am so glad this is what you have decided. Your body, your decision. And sadly it is so true. None of us really knows for sure what the future holds. Beautiful story Heather...so moving. And I think so helpful to so many who many be struggling with this decision. You always have such wise words.
I wouldn't have your tubes tied. I agree with you even if you really can't have kids right now that doesn't mean your situation won't change. What if in a year all of a sudden finances and relationships improve and you feel ready for another one. I don't like the idea of not having the choice to have another one.
You might want to seek the advice of a second dr as to the possibility of kids even after the bladder surgery.
You might want to seek the advice of a second dr as to the possibility of kids even after the bladder surgery.
thank you so much for sharing your story with me. I am so sorry. I swear doctors are always trying to push us into something because they feel its best:( and because of you ladies here I WILL NOT be one of them:) I have desided not to do the tubal:) I am not sure how long my love for DH will be enough and I wont take that kind of chance on my future:)
Please listen to the advice of this now...old lady. Because of blood pressure problems at age 26, my doctor's wouldn't allow me to take the birth control pill. I did try other methods. They said that a tubal ligation was the best option for me. I should have listened to what my heart was telling me.
I am now 57 and have never gotten over making the decision to have a tubal ligation. Marriages sometimes do not work out, unfortunately and another man may come into your life, that you love with all your heart. It would so sad if you wanted another child, but now had the complication of having your tubes tied.
My cousin had the bladder lift and was told, no more pregnancy's, as this would "undo" the bladder surgery. Several years after her bladder lift (sling surgery) she became pregnant. She carried her son full term and there was no damage to her bladder. She had two previous children, but always wanted a third. She never thought about having another baby, until she was almost 40 years old.
The tug in her heart to have another child was overwhelming, so she went against doctor's advice and became pregnant anyway. Her third child has literally changed her life around. I have never seen her happier, as she had her first son, after having two daughters.
She was told by the way, that if the pregnancy "undid" the bladder repair, there was a new procedure that could be done using laproscopic surgery and the healing period would be minimal. Her first bladder repair, she was cut from hip to hip.
To date, she has had no problems with her bladder, all the while, cherishing the third child she never thought she'd have. All the ladies above are correct. You never know what changes will occur in your life. Don't give up your chance to have another baby, should you decide later in life to have one.
You are NOT ready for a tubal ligation anyway. You are not ready to call it quits to another pregnancy. You even said so. Never having the choice to have another baby, will haunt you the rest of your life. Again, listen to what you heart is telling you.
Personally I would rather wear a bladder pad the rest of my childbearing years, than risk not having another baby if I choose. Of course, at my age, I would never consider having another baby at my age. That would be cruel to a newborn baby to have a mother that looks like a grandmother. Besides I wound up having to have a hysterectomy.
Good luck to you. I hope you find peace in your heart and do what is right for you. God Bless you in any decision that you make. God will lead your heart...
Sorry this wound up being so long. Please forgive me.
All the Best,
Heather
from the MS Forum
I am now 57 and have never gotten over making the decision to have a tubal ligation. Marriages sometimes do not work out, unfortunately and another man may come into your life, that you love with all your heart. It would so sad if you wanted another child, but now had the complication of having your tubes tied.
My cousin had the bladder lift and was told, no more pregnancy's, as this would "undo" the bladder surgery. Several years after her bladder lift (sling surgery) she became pregnant. She carried her son full term and there was no damage to her bladder. She had two previous children, but always wanted a third. She never thought about having another baby, until she was almost 40 years old.
The tug in her heart to have another child was overwhelming, so she went against doctor's advice and became pregnant anyway. Her third child has literally changed her life around. I have never seen her happier, as she had her first son, after having two daughters.
She was told by the way, that if the pregnancy "undid" the bladder repair, there was a new procedure that could be done using laproscopic surgery and the healing period would be minimal. Her first bladder repair, she was cut from hip to hip.
To date, she has had no problems with her bladder, all the while, cherishing the third child she never thought she'd have. All the ladies above are correct. You never know what changes will occur in your life. Don't give up your chance to have another baby, should you decide later in life to have one.
You are NOT ready for a tubal ligation anyway. You are not ready to call it quits to another pregnancy. You even said so. Never having the choice to have another baby, will haunt you the rest of your life. Again, listen to what you heart is telling you.
Personally I would rather wear a bladder pad the rest of my childbearing years, than risk not having another baby if I choose. Of course, at my age, I would never consider having another baby at my age. That would be cruel to a newborn baby to have a mother that looks like a grandmother. Besides I wound up having to have a hysterectomy.
Good luck to you. I hope you find peace in your heart and do what is right for you. God Bless you in any decision that you make. God will lead your heart...
Sorry this wound up being so long. Please forgive me.
All the Best,
Heather
from the MS Forum
thank you ladies:) I guess I did answer my own question, but its always nice to hear from others:)
Nola- yes I do believe its a prolaplsed issue. They are putting a sling under the lower part and doing a tuck on the full bladder. I guess I need to read up more on it cause I dont know exactly what the procedure is called:( I would hate to have an opps and ruin what ever it is they do and be stuck peeing my pants till the day I die:( Ugh desisions:(
Nola- yes I do believe its a prolaplsed issue. They are putting a sling under the lower part and doing a tuck on the full bladder. I guess I need to read up more on it cause I dont know exactly what the procedure is called:( I would hate to have an opps and ruin what ever it is they do and be stuck peeing my pants till the day I die:( Ugh desisions:(
I agree with the other posters...if you aren't 100% sure, don't do it...that goes for both the bladder surgery and the tubal. Explore all your options re: the bladder surgery (nola mentioned a pessary...those do work so you may want to look into that option..
Don't do it. Something like tubal ligation you should be sure and you're not.
Also research further about the bladder surgery and options.
Also research further about the bladder surgery and options.
You never know how you will feel in the future. So many people who honestly feel they have good intentions can pressure us to do something we're not ready for. I thought I was done having children so I had a tubal ligation done. Then I changed my mind & wanted children. But I thought it was over for me until I found out I could get it reversed. I got it reversed Sept 91 & now 6 weeks pregnant. I can't be happier. I am so blessed to have another opportunity to carry babies in my womb. I'm praying you make the right decision. Be blessed.
Tab, I think you have really answered your own question. It doesn't sound like doing anything permanent is the right thing for you right now. Listen to your instincts. I know you guys are done for now, but your right, none of us know what the future holds for us. And how many women here have written in regretting getting their tubes tied. I wouldn't do it in your shoes. And too old to have more??? lmao. Introduce them to me..haha.
I agree completely with nola0805! You are still young enough to have more children, and you do not know what the future will hold. (People DO change their minds sometimes!) So, unless you are totally and completely certain that YOU do not want anymore children EVER.........I would advise against having the tubal ligation. And you probably need to find out more details about the bladder surgery, so see if it totally and completely rules out having more children, or whether it would simply negate the effects of the surgery. Good luck!
Are you having the surgery to treat bladder prolapse? If that is the case, then it does not 100% rule out having more children - but it does mean that childbirth can ruin the correction, requiring another surgery (that is my understanding of things - I have mild bladder and uterine prolapse following my delivery).
I would never recommend something permanent like having your tubes ties unless you were really, really certain that this is what YOU want. Even if you do not have more children, you may feel more comfortable to at least have the option.
I would get more info about the impact of another pregnancy and delivery if you have the bladder surgery. If it is prolapse - there is also the option of having a pessary ring put it in as a temporary treatment until you were more sure about surgery. Check out Sherri's wonderful group : pelvic organ dysfunction - there is tons of great advice there.
Good luck and don't do anything you are not sure about!
I would never recommend something permanent like having your tubes ties unless you were really, really certain that this is what YOU want. Even if you do not have more children, you may feel more comfortable to at least have the option.
I would get more info about the impact of another pregnancy and delivery if you have the bladder surgery. If it is prolapse - there is also the option of having a pessary ring put it in as a temporary treatment until you were more sure about surgery. Check out Sherri's wonderful group : pelvic organ dysfunction - there is tons of great advice there.
Good luck and don't do anything you are not sure about!
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