Our Pregnancy Support Forum is for women 35 years and older. This is where you can communicate with other women who share your interest in pregnancy and childbirth issues. This forum is not monitored by medical professionals.
I Know that it is wrong for a nother to use drugs while shes pregnant. But some of you are just to dang judgemental on situations you couldn't even begin to understand if you have never endured that kind of life. An I read that some of you don't believe that drug addiction is not a disease like if you had cancer, or MS. Well I don't know who misinformed you but they straight lied to your face having a drug addiction is one of the wrost diseases out there an one of the number one killers in america. An everyone who puts a drug in there body has a specific reason but it is still an escape from something and someone that has happened in their life an may also have been they only way of coping they were ever taught, and they just don't know anything else, cause what maybe normal to you may not be normal to someone else. An getting help isnt always an option for everyone. And drug rehab isn't always the right way. And while you people are judging people on things you have never experienced, shouldn't be so quick to throw stones cause believe it or not those bad things could happen to you.
Look whats your opinion about, maybe go to the drug forum. we all make choices and thats that. sorry if its not what u want to here and because its someones opinion doesnt mean anyone is attacking
them ok. take care
Why wouldn't drug rehab be an option? There are programs available for just about everyone...FREE if you can't afford it (especially for pregnant women). No excuse to not get help...except denial which is part of the disease...
I am a former nicotine addict (nicotine is as addictive as heroine). I smoked through my first two pregnancies (though I cut down to less than 10 cigarettes a day). This IN SPITE of being highly motivated to quit because of the baby...AND I developed asthma during my first pregnancy. I ended up in the hospital with pneumonia and my first asthma attack, 10 weeks pregnant. I spent my 20th birthday in the hospital hooked up to oxygen, unable to breath enough to TALK. It was without a doubt the WORST time in my life.
Even after THAT, I didn't quit. I kept smoking until I was 28 years old. I am now 41 and have been nicotine free since 1997.
So, from a former addict, YES it is hard. I can describe withdrawals to you...have you ever been underwater, holding your breath...and you NEED to breath. You whole body hurts and your lungs burn....THAT was how it felt. Like I was going to die or go crazy if I didn't get my fix.
That said, once you have a baby on board, you OWE that innocent child the best chance at a healthy life it can get. You have to do WHATEVER IT TAKES to stay clean throughout the pregnancy. PERIOD.
I am just finishing up nursing school and had the truly sad experience of seeing a meth baby during my Maternal Child clinical rotation. He was permanently damaged, missing an ear, extensive brain and neurological damage...My advice to addicts: if you are an addict and also female of childbearing age, USE BIRTH CONTROL-depo shots, Mirena.,..whatever. Just don't get pregnant (your local health department or Family Planning office can help). If you DO get pregnant, do your baby a favor and DO WHATEVER IT TAKES to stay clean...even to the point of having a court lock you up where you can't use.
Help is out there...it is up to you to do the right thing even if it is hard.
I second what christine has said but she has said it alot nicer than what i would have. ive seen a drug baby and omg its so heart breaking. there is no need for it if your drugs are more important then you dont deserve a beautiful baby many long for.
I am sorry if you feel judged. I can tell you that I work with drug addicted pregnant women daily. I work with the homeless and those living in poverty and sadly addiction does come up regularly.
I don't think many here question whether or not it is a disease. It's just that like any disease there is help out there. I know this for absolute certain. I am one of those that helps provide it. Yes, it is a terrible disease..awful. It can destroy your life and is terminal if not treated. But any addict in recovery will tell you...the first step is taking responsibility and seeking help. It's there and it's there for free. If you had cancer or any other disease you can't just ignore it, you must seek treatment. And if you are pregnant, it becomes even more important to do so.
Many of the people that get help in our organization are women trying to get clean and sober, especially during pregnancy. I also work with adults who were born addicted to drugs and alcohol. It's a lifelong sentence for many children and will follow them into adulthood. The effects of the drug use and alcohol use in utero do not go away...not ever.
So I don't think people are judging, I think they want you to get treatment. It would be the same if you had any other disease and were leaving it untreated. You must get help...and you cannot tell me it's not out there because I 100% know better. If you ever want to talk privatly, pm me and I can help you find a treatment center in your area. I am always more then happy to do that...I will do all the groundwork and research for you and send you the name and phone number of a group in your area that will help. That offer stands for anyone who is in this situation. Good luck to you, and please think through what you are saying. No one means to judge, they are just scared for your child.
You are right no one has the right to judge anyone. I have seen this situation in my own family and others. It hurts all parties concerned. I send you much love, understanding and prayer. Just because today is one way it does not mean tomorrow can not be better.
Hi I can only offer what I know on the subject of addition and I sure can tell you I really emphasise where you are coming from but not in all aspects. I suffer from alcohol addiction however I now have sobriety on a day to day basis. I don't state I "used to have alcohol addiction" because I am "not cured" but I do have sobriety because I work on it daily because I want it. I go to meetings, have a sponsor, attend with a drug and alcohol counsellor, meditate and just do the best I can. Sure I have really off days when I think the whole world is screwed up and why bother anyway?!? Why bother? Because when I have relapsed in the past my life has become a living hell, I don't know about you. Im talking major anxiety attacks, depression, self harm, isolating, the lot. So I have a choice today, I can have all that back in the blink of an eye or I can choose life.
I have often felt judged too and know how hard it is for other people to understand the pnenoneum of craving and the cycle of addiction. If you want it there is loads of help and support out there for you. If you are expecting your unborn child doesn't have a choice if you decide to use drugs while you are pregnant. When I found out I was pregnant with my first child in 2002 I immediately stopped drinking however I had a couple of very small slips in my last trimester. I was pregnant on my own and felt really alone and sad. It was a tough time but I got through it.
What I wish for you is a desire in your heart to think about loving you and your baby. If you want my support you've got it but only if you want to be clean and sober.
Lastly I have to warn you there is one last shocking twist to this situation that I'm not sure if anybody else has mentioned. Australia calls it the Department of Child Safety (DOCS). A pregnant woman who is abusing substances is at risk of having that baby removed by DOCS once the baby is born if DOCS are alerted to the situation. Sometimes this happens at the hospital of birth or further down the track if notified later. I know because my child was removed from my care when he was 4. There is no greater heartbreak than that, particularly when children are so greatly affected by witnessing substance abuse and subsequently separation anxiety. If only I could have my time all over again, it still breaks my heart and I sit here now with tears in my eyes.
To anybody who is reading this if this is relevant to you, I pray for a healthy pregnancy, substance free, one day at a time and all the best for the future. I hope I haven't offended anybody but this is coming from the heart. I am in my first trimester, overjoyed, positive and my past is never to be repeated if I make the right choices.
PS. What "adgal" has to say is gold. What a blessing it is to have somebody in this forum who has contacts and wants to support. Adgal is far better with words that me that's for sure. I hope you go for it, you can do this and believe in yourself.
Here in the United States (where I live), women are tested during their pregnancy (I'm not sure how often) and if they have a positive drug test at any point or if there is reason to suggest she may have used, her baby is urine drug tested after birth, before the mother is allowed to have the baby with her or nurse (I ran into this during my clinical rotation...a mother and father were wondering why they weren't able to have their baby brought to the mother's room. We couldn't tell HIM legally but the mother was told and knew...and pretended ignorance to the father). If the baby tests positive, a referral is made to the Department of Human Services/Child Protective Services and the situation is evaluated to see if the child is safe to go home with mom (it isn't automatic that a child would be taken...they will try to leave the child in the home and get mom treatment).
I used to work in a Co-Occurring Disorders program which is for addicts with co-occurring mental disorders such as depression, bi-polar, schizophrenia, etc. I has MANY women who were in our program trying to get their children back after the courts had taken them. It is a very sad thing...BUT many women are so motivated to do what is best for their children, to get clean and stay clean...they were often our most successful patients.
I will second Adgal's offer...anyone who wants help, I would be happy to help you find the resources available to you in your area. I live in the U.S. and know who to call :)
Laws here in Canada are pretty much the same as what Christine described for the US. I know many women who have had their babies taken. However, for the most part, if you are honest with your Dr. about the problem and are actively seeking treatment and help, they will work with you to keep the baby. I believe it's similar in the US. So the best thing you can do for the health and safety of your child is to be honest and seek treatment.
I feel badly that you or anyone should feel judged. You are correct..none of us completely understand what life is like in someone else's shoes. But it is so important to seek help. And it is never a good idea to try to quit cold turkey on your own either. It is important to seek the help of a medical professional.
No one except someone fighting an addiction can truly understand what this is like. But there is help and support out there..and your certainly not alone. So many battle this awful disease, and so many are successful.
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