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pregnancy with 2 different genetic bad luck
i was out of this site for long time, I have my first pregnancy 1 year and half ago , and comes out with somkind of abnormality on chromosom 10th which was very very rare case it happend in every 30,000,000 for teeager,
I terminated which was very hard my doctor highly encorage me to have another try i did i got pregnant again and it come out with down syndrom this time, i was floore ,and depress I terminated againe.
I am still depress but i want to have baby so bad , my doctor believe I should try againe plus now my age is 40 , he says it just randomly happend .
any how I am depress and always cry for any reason.i can not even talk to any body,I had feeling that nobody can't undrestand me except the people go through those stuff, because most of the people doesn't have enogh education about those stuff and label me .
I terminated which was very hard my doctor highly encorage me to have another try i did i got pregnant again and it come out with down syndrom this time, i was floore ,and depress I terminated againe.
I am still depress but i want to have baby so bad , my doctor believe I should try againe plus now my age is 40 , he says it just randomly happend .
any how I am depress and always cry for any reason.i can not even talk to any body,I had feeling that nobody can't undrestand me except the people go through those stuff, because most of the people doesn't have enogh education about those stuff and label me .
Wow, I'm so sorry for what you have gone through. I was 21 years old when TJ was born, and I had an amnio to check for a genetic skin disorder that I can pass on.
It came back POSITIVE for Down Syndrome and the skin disorder. I was devestated, but with support from friends on here and another site and my family and DH we brought our little TJ into the world august 08 and yes we've had alot of problems with him health and development wize but I am so glad to have him.
I gave birth to his baby brother Mason who's going to be a year old this next week and Mason is 2x TJ's size even though he's 16 months younger. : )
God gives us these children for specific reasons
It came back POSITIVE for Down Syndrome and the skin disorder. I was devestated, but with support from friends on here and another site and my family and DH we brought our little TJ into the world august 08 and yes we've had alot of problems with him health and development wize but I am so glad to have him.
I gave birth to his baby brother Mason who's going to be a year old this next week and Mason is 2x TJ's size even though he's 16 months younger. : )
God gives us these children for specific reasons
i think the thing to figure out is why are you so afraid of down syndrome or other needs? if you feel you are incapable of caring for a child that requires a bit of extra work maybe adoption is your better choice. i have a child with down syndrome, and i have to say i wouldnt change a thing about her! i dont want to say anything to make you feel guilty but i have to say if you continue to get pregnant and have abortions how can you live with that? it has to be hard on a daily basis.
there are no guarentees that you will have a child that is "perfect" by your terms. i just find it so sad that people dont really know what the facts are and terminate before they really know. every child is a precious gift and if you need to have a child that is a typical healthy baby adopt one that needs a good home.
there are no guarentees that you will have a child that is "perfect" by your terms. i just find it so sad that people dont really know what the facts are and terminate before they really know. every child is a precious gift and if you need to have a child that is a typical healthy baby adopt one that needs a good home.
It is a tough choice for sure, but there are no guarantee's that a healthy pregnancy will result in a healthy baby either.
I had an uncomplicated first pregnancy, a very healthy baby, no abnormalities or issues, all test came back clear.
Then I went into labour at 32 weeks, my baby was born perfect, breathing and healthy.
At three days old he had a brain hemorrhage that started a chain reaction of several medical complications that could not possibly have been foreseen during my pregnancy.
That little boy is now nearly seven years old with special needs and I wouldn't change him for the world.
Following his birth I has two first trimester miscarriages.
I was scared, very scared when having my second child (fourth pregnancy) that something would go wrong, but it didn't and I had a healthy baby boy who is now nearly four years old. I wouldn't change a single thing about him either.
Now we are trying to conceive again, this time I am not so worried because what will be will be.
There are no guarantees, ever. To me you have to ask yourself this;
Would you be accepting of a child, regardless of any medical issues that child may have? If the answer is no then in your shoes I would seriously consider not even attempting to conceive as another complicated pregnancy with the depression problems you are experiencing could spell disaster for your own health.
I had an uncomplicated first pregnancy, a very healthy baby, no abnormalities or issues, all test came back clear.
Then I went into labour at 32 weeks, my baby was born perfect, breathing and healthy.
At three days old he had a brain hemorrhage that started a chain reaction of several medical complications that could not possibly have been foreseen during my pregnancy.
That little boy is now nearly seven years old with special needs and I wouldn't change him for the world.
Following his birth I has two first trimester miscarriages.
I was scared, very scared when having my second child (fourth pregnancy) that something would go wrong, but it didn't and I had a healthy baby boy who is now nearly four years old. I wouldn't change a single thing about him either.
Now we are trying to conceive again, this time I am not so worried because what will be will be.
There are no guarantees, ever. To me you have to ask yourself this;
Would you be accepting of a child, regardless of any medical issues that child may have? If the answer is no then in your shoes I would seriously consider not even attempting to conceive as another complicated pregnancy with the depression problems you are experiencing could spell disaster for your own health.
I click on wrong answer, my best answer was :Ecologic
and also I like adgal answer too
and also I like adgal answer too
thank u very much , for your positive energy that gave it to me .
your answer for me was the best , but by mistake i push wrong key and the one that I 100% dont agree goes to my best answer .
your answer for me was the best , but by mistake i push wrong key and the one that I 100% dont agree goes to my best answer .
Shoka, I don't think anyone is trying to make you feel guilty. Some have very strong feelings on this issue so please understand it is always a tough topic. I am very proud of everyone for stating their feelings, but doing so in such a kind way. So please don't feel they are trying to make you feel guilty, but I do think that a legitimate point was made in that you may have some guilt/grief. I understand why you made the choice you did, and I do not judge you for it. Even though you know it was the best thing for your family, it is still never easy. I had to have counselling at one point after losing so many babies myself. I lost mine due to miscarriage and still felt very sad and was in a very dark place. I too think that counselling might really help you sort through your feelings.
with all being said you are 40 and the chances that you have a pg with issues is a lot greater than it was when you were 30 or even 35. If you are not prepared to deal with the possibility of having a special needs child I would not attempt to get pg. They cannot test for every disability.
thank you , I do believe god but still it is hard for me to accept ,I am not as brave as before , so If i get pregnant again how I will handle it ??
all those question in my mind and I can not get red of it , still I sit and cry for my babies ( the first one I was 5 month pregnant and second one 4 months).
sometimes listening to other people make you feel better because you are not the only one go through those stuff there is a lots of people that suffering too ,and I always pray first for all the people and at last I pray for myself for having patient .
all those question in my mind and I can not get red of it , still I sit and cry for my babies ( the first one I was 5 month pregnant and second one 4 months).
sometimes listening to other people make you feel better because you are not the only one go through those stuff there is a lots of people that suffering too ,and I always pray first for all the people and at last I pray for myself for having patient .
The thing is that God has a plan for us. Parenthood is always in the plan it sometimes just needs so me help and assistance. God gives us these children and we cannot be sure why we get the child we do other than it was just meant to be. Many women get pg and get all the genetic testing done and still have a child that is born with some kind of illness ore diability. there is no test in utero for autism for example. they have their children and love them to death jus the same. Sometimes we just have to take a leap of faith and trust that we were given a child for a reason and take care of it with all our hearts and souls. My sil s sister was 22 when she became pg for the first time. She had a great pg and at birth the child was found to have downs syndrome. this child is now 12, she is a joy and a blessing, the mother is not the head of the council on downs syndrome for the area she lives in and found her calling in life, where before this she floundered trying to find her way. There is a reason and all things cannot be controled for. if you decide to get pg again and believe in god you may just have to trust and leave it in God's hands to choose the baby that is supposed to be with you. Good luck, loosing a child is hard no matter what the cause. I have lost 2 and it pains me everyday...
it is very hard to decide ,i don't know what should I do , some times i try to forget about every and no more think about having baby , but still very hard either way you look at it.
my problem is that.
my problem is that.
Hi Shoka, I remember you. You know...sometimes bad things just happen to good people. It's just plain old bad luck. I am sad you found yourself in that position not just once, but twice.
If you are still feeling that depressed, have you considered couselling? It helped me tremendously both while I was having such a hard time having a baby, and after my son was born. There is no shame in reaching out for help.
I understand why you would feel down and scared. But if it is consuming you you should seek help.
As for whether to try again...only you can answer that question. You and your partner know what is best for you.
I wish you peace and healing.
If you are still feeling that depressed, have you considered couselling? It helped me tremendously both while I was having such a hard time having a baby, and after my son was born. There is no shame in reaching out for help.
I understand why you would feel down and scared. But if it is consuming you you should seek help.
As for whether to try again...only you can answer that question. You and your partner know what is best for you.
I wish you peace and healing.
I'm so sorry,
I think that with all you've been through it would be normal to feel what you're feeling. Take it easy, J
I think that with all you've been through it would be normal to feel what you're feeling. Take it easy, J
thank u for your support, my question is if everything happen for a reason what was a reason ??except I can not be brave enough to even another try. even think about another pregnancy and any kind of test make me nervous i think I need a miracle from god ,
I am not happy at all I Try to act in front of everybody but deeply inside I am so sad.
I am not happy at all I Try to act in front of everybody but deeply inside I am so sad.
awwww i am sooooooo sorry for everything you have gone thru :( and you r right unless you have experienced it you don't know how that person feels. I have never experienced anything like that and i have 4 boys and i am 27 weeks pregnant with my little girl. I am 40 yrs old now and will deliver at 41 yrs old and so far i have had no problems with her all my test come back with very low numbers for down syndrome and any other abnormalities. I know they say the older you r the more risks there are but i don't think so i think we older women have just as much a chance of having a normal baby as a younger woman. The bottom lne sweetie is god makes everything happen for a reason and if you feel like this is your time to try again then do it. God Bless & Good Luck!!!!
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But I got pregnant again, 3 months before turning 41 and this pregnancy was perfectly fine.
It's up to you to take the chance with an other pregnancy. But if you don't take the chance, you may regret it later. Your chromosome problems were random so probabilities that they happen again are certainly very small? Make sure to be followed by a high risk maternal doctor, that would be best in your situation.
Counseling could also help. You may also need to take an antidepressant for a while - I did for a little while after my last miscarriage, until I got pregnant again. Good luck in your decision!