starting over

[mexdeb]

does anyone who had a child/children when they were 'young' have many negative comments from family/friends who can't understand that you WANT to start over again?

[keenie009]

Yes, my family finds it horrifying!!! They think that I'm  nuts!! I have an 18, 12 , and 3 year old now and TTC!!

[montie2]

Oh yes!! When I was pregnant people would look at me and then my kids (18 and 12) and I could just tell they were dying to know if this baby was planned.  During my pregnancy I was almost embarresed.  Now, I don't care at all. I'm so blessed to have them all!! And, it's no ones business anyway!

[smr08]

Thank you so much. If you are thinking about starting over I wish you all the luck in the world!!! I've been thinking about it alot. I didn't talk to DH yet but I think he knows. We bd'd only once this week cd12, maybe i'll get lucky(lol).

                                        Lori

[mexdeb]

im so sorry that you had such a loss....i really hope that you are able to heal and that your wishes for another child come true as soon as you are ready for it to happen...
and i couldn't agree more about sharing with others the desire or the fact that we are having another child!!  :)

[smr08]

I'm 41 and my children are 21, 20, 11 and I lost a son on 10/17/08 (17 1/2 wks preg.) With my last pregnancy  I was affraid to tell people because of what they would say, well if I do get pregnant again(hopefully) I'm not going to care what they say. It's my life and if you can't be happy for me oh well!!

[40smama]

Prevatt - your story brought a little laughter to me - everytime I talked or did blood tests or anything w/the nurses at my re's office, they all called me, "Young lady".  That so cracked me up - especially since I was older than most of them.

I have probably the hugest age spread of children on this forum - or darned near close to it - I had children every decade since the '80s - ds, 1984; dd - 1986, 1989, 1993 and little baby boy, 2008.  I can't tell you how many times I've heard all of the old adages mentioned above.  I just usually agree w/them and start laughing w/'em.  They're probably right - I am crazy but oh well.........

My pet peeve:  people thinking I'm Noah's grandma instead of his mother.  Really, this only happens when I'm w/my daughters but I have now convinced myself this is what's to be expected and just to get over it.  I need a snappy comeback though.

[prevatt77]

My RE told me that I was his youngest patient trying to concieve.  I asked him how old the oldest was and he told me I didn't want to know, we just laughted.

[Prayerful2528]

I get it all the time, from family and friends wondering why I would want another child at 37.  I have a daugher who will be18 in Jan, and the another daughter who will turn 7 in Dec.  My husband and I will be ttc hoping for our son, but will take a daughter:-).  Therefore, I ignore those who just don't know the joy a little one can bring...  

[Luckejem]

Oh yeah, I have a son age 21 and a daughter who is 18, I am 37 now and ttc again. I don't care what anybody thinks as we live for what makes us feel right but people think we are crazy but then later laugh at us and say go for it.  I see no problem starting over : )

[7preg3b]

oh yeah..   I have a 16,13,10 and 1 year old.  I have tons of friends say why??  When my husband had his vasectomy everyone thought we were crazy..  My son is such a joy and I think I cherish the time with him now..  as opposed to always worrying about money and work and daycare..  

[pcarsey]

Not really in my family, my sister had her last baby at 38, but my 18 yr old daughters friends really think I have lost it at times..lol I always get, why didn't you just let Melissa have a baby? WTH? Although, she (my daughter), and my 11 yr old son  is so proud of their baby brother, wants to take him everywhere and show him off! It is the sweetest thing. I had a TR in March 07 and before I did my DH's SIL asked me if I was sure I wanted to do that to start over again. (we have issues, her and I, so that was no surprise). And my ex husband was absolutely livid.....lol because he didn't think I should have any more children from anyone else other then him. Like get over it already..... you have been re-married for 7 years now. lol Not that I care what he thinks anyways. But you get the picture.....lol

[LisaRG]

When someone says" At your age?"  I think how the heck old are you?
That sounds like a comment an old geezer would make.
Obviously we see ourselves as young healthy women who have our whole lives in front of us.  Not to mention the experience and patients to raise a child.
End of story.

[mexdeb]

yup, your bio looks pretty familiar alright :)
did you end up with regular cycles right out of the gate after stopping the pill?  i couldn't help taking a look at your bbt tracking and doing a little comparing!
i only started tracking for the first time during my af so i'm not confident that i know how to decifer anything yet...i also hope i don't have to get tooooo good at it either ;)

[LuvAbaby]

OH Yeah, I have heard many statements to imply that I'm crazy for wanting a baby at 35. Actually, I think I have had less than 5 people say something positive about it out of all my friends and family. But, honestly, I don't care what they think. It is up to me and my husband to decide what we want. I we are thrilled with the thought of having a baby. So, I am happy with that. Best of luck to you!

[adgal]

I didn't have children young, so no comment of that part.  At almost 40, I am working on the first.  Most have been fairly supportive, although I have had the odd "eyebrow" raised, and questioned as to why on earth I would want to start a family at "my age"..I honestly just laugh it off.  Even though I don't know what it's like to have a baby young, I do know that for me and the way I have led my life, this is the best decision I could have made.  I wanted to wait until I was in a good marriage with someone I would be with forever, and have a life that was more settled then it was in my 20's and early 30's.  That is NOT in any way a judgment call on those of you that had more then one marriage, so I hope it doesn't come across that way.  In any event, when to have a child is your personal decision and 38 is still young now.  If they are overly negative, quite frankly, I would tell them to mind their own business.  Your life, your and your partners decision!

[SoCalTricia]

Oh, yes...a few. My sister thinks *anyone who want TRY to have a baby over 40 is absolutely crazy. She is supportive of me "if that's what you want"...lol. Most people are positive, overall, but will make comments like, "Better you than me..." I just tell them, "If that's how you feel about it then, yeah...better me than you." LOL. And, of course, I've had the jokes that I'm going for one every decade, since my DD was born in 1990, DS in 2000 and this one will be 2009. I draw the line at 2020. LOL. Anyway...you know what you want and what's best for you...I'd let the comments slide off my back. People sometimes don't know *what to say, so they say something stupid or inappropriate. The art of keeping one's mouth shut is history. ;-)