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Am I or Am I not?
My husband and I (48 & 42 respctively) have been TTC for 2.5 yrs. We are in great health and shape. My cycles are still 28 days. Hardly have any irregularities. LMP was May 10. 2008. We TTC between the 17-24. Few days later I started having headaches (for 3 days) On the 2nd day of that I started cramps adn sore breasts. Cramps lasted about a week and breasts have been very tender, feel heavy and swollen...until last night. Usually they have been hurting me so that I cant lay on my side unless I lift up my arm so it wont hurt me. Today however when I woke up they did not hurt me and they dont feel nearly as heavy as they have been for the past week. Does this mean I wasnt pregnant to begin with? If I am not pregnant what caused the pregnancy symptoms? I never have symptoms like this just for my periods...
I understand that. I know is a matter of perspective and personal choice. That's why I said that though I recognize that fertility treatments have helped many achieve their dream of parenthood it is not necessarily the route we feel led to follow. I don't believe my comment was negative (or at least was not intended to be) regarding fertility treatments, as a matter of fact I did not say anything at all regarding that. My comment had to do with thinking about giving God's will a 'nudge'. Hence, if we felt led to follow a certain route, if God would put in our hearts seeing a doctor to get treatment to help us conceive, or if we felt led to hire a surrogate mother, or adopt...and all of these are examples, if we felt this in our hearts and felt is something we should do then I would see that as God's will for us and we should follow it. We just don't feel God is telling us to go ahead and do the fertility treatments, or any other option. I do however appreciate the fact I am talking to a fellow believer because I like to hear how others interpret the leadings of God. I may be too concern in areas of choice that are easier for others to make. I think I tend to wait on the Lord more rather than making a decision to see if its the right thing to do or not. I worry that I could make a decision that wasn't in His plans for me and that I may sin against Him by doing so. That's why I always say that I just continue to pray about it and if it is His will it will happen. Somehow, someday. We are curious to know what may be causing us to have such delay. I knwo the usual triggers such as age and in our case a Vas Rev'l 3 yrs ago, but Ive been checked several times and all is well with me, so far., So we need to know if my DH is doing well reproductively. We go in two weeks for a consult and to schedule sperm analysis for DH and other tests for me. That's what we really want to do right now. I think that it would probably be less stressful for us to know whether or not there is something wrong so we don't have to be trying for something month after month not knowing if it will happen or not. And then again, I remember all about God's will and think that whether or not there is something wrong it is all up to Him to allow it to happen...or not.
We've been praying for many years about this and this past week I started a Beth Moore study at a church I was invited to by a friend and glancing through the book I noticed that one of the sessions is all about family, in particular children. I have a feeling God is going to speak to me loud and clear in the weeks to come. So as a fellow believer I would gladly ask you to please pray for me, that whatever His will is for us I may have an obedient heart towards Him. Thank you.
We've been praying for many years about this and this past week I started a Beth Moore study at a church I was invited to by a friend and glancing through the book I noticed that one of the sessions is all about family, in particular children. I have a feeling God is going to speak to me loud and clear in the weeks to come. So as a fellow believer I would gladly ask you to please pray for me, that whatever His will is for us I may have an obedient heart towards Him. Thank you.
For women under 35, the 'rule of thumb' is one year - not to correct you :-0. On the multiple issue, you can just transfer one embryo - that's what we did to avoid multiples. I'm glad you're a believer - I am too - but I believe that luckily technology IS a part of God's will; othewise, we wouldn't use it in the treatment of cancer or any other life threatening illness or rather for ANYTHING that's beneficial to us in our lives. I don't think fertility is any different. Why would it be?
Of course, God can overcome any 'law of nature or physics'. That's not the issue here. Most of the time, it's a matter of that. If it's your heart's desire to have another child, I don't see why you wouldn't pursue fertility treatment if that's what's recommended.
This is all a matter of perspective. It's a personal decision - I thought I'd share w/you mine. Unfortunately at our age, most of us that need to take any help we can get - nature isn't with women 40+. Conceiving is one matter; carrying the baby to term, well, time's against us. The m/c rate is high but not impossible as there are women on this forum who've conceived w/their own eggs and carried the babies to term. I don't know if God had anything to do w/it but I'm sure these women are thankful to God for their babies.
We didn't use our own eggs but are very, very thankful for our child as well. I'm very positive that Noah (his name) is part of God's Will even though we pursued the most interventional (I'm ot sure that's a word) type of treatment.
Again, my intention w/sharing you my perspective isn't to make this a religious debate but good luck to you and I hope you are successful :-))
Of course, God can overcome any 'law of nature or physics'. That's not the issue here. Most of the time, it's a matter of that. If it's your heart's desire to have another child, I don't see why you wouldn't pursue fertility treatment if that's what's recommended.
This is all a matter of perspective. It's a personal decision - I thought I'd share w/you mine. Unfortunately at our age, most of us that need to take any help we can get - nature isn't with women 40+. Conceiving is one matter; carrying the baby to term, well, time's against us. The m/c rate is high but not impossible as there are women on this forum who've conceived w/their own eggs and carried the babies to term. I don't know if God had anything to do w/it but I'm sure these women are thankful to God for their babies.
We didn't use our own eggs but are very, very thankful for our child as well. I'm very positive that Noah (his name) is part of God's Will even though we pursued the most interventional (I'm ot sure that's a word) type of treatment.
Again, my intention w/sharing you my perspective isn't to make this a religious debate but good luck to you and I hope you are successful :-))
I've long been aware of the rule of thumb when it comes to TTC, and that actually applies to anyone who's been TTC for any length of time, not just 35 adn over. My DH and I have personal concerns when it comes to fertility treatments. From the effects of them on the woman to the risk of conceiving multiples (more than two actually). Though we have discussed, as recently as two days ago, seeing a fertility specialist, it is not for anything more than to check our bodies (hormones, sperm analisys, etc...) just to see where we stand physically, but we have no intention or desire to proceed with a treatment per se.
As far as God is concerned I can tell you that, as a believer, there is no doubt in my mind that if it is God's will He, and He alone will make it happen, and I believe this because I know for a fact that He is mighty and powerful enough to do anything, and not only do it, but to do it without anyone's help. Children are a gift from the Lord, they are His heritage and the fruit of the womb His reward (Ps.127:3) The Lord knows my heart and my Husband's and if our desire for more children fits in His plans for us then the blessing will come, in His time and not ours.
Thought fertility treatments have helped many a couple to achieve their dream of parenthood, I firmly believe it is not the route God has put in our hearts. But thank you very much for your encouragement.
As far as God is concerned I can tell you that, as a believer, there is no doubt in my mind that if it is God's will He, and He alone will make it happen, and I believe this because I know for a fact that He is mighty and powerful enough to do anything, and not only do it, but to do it without anyone's help. Children are a gift from the Lord, they are His heritage and the fruit of the womb His reward (Ps.127:3) The Lord knows my heart and my Husband's and if our desire for more children fits in His plans for us then the blessing will come, in His time and not ours.
Thought fertility treatments have helped many a couple to achieve their dream of parenthood, I firmly believe it is not the route God has put in our hearts. But thank you very much for your encouragement.
If you've been trying this long, you absolutely need to see a reproductive endocrinologist. Just think of it as giving God's will a little nudge. Seriously, the rule is if you've been ttc for 6+ months after age 35, it's time to see a fertility specialist whether you need IVF or not. I had a baby at 44 but we too had to give God's will a little help :-)) - I'm sure He understood. - good luck!!
Thank you Ladies. Im glad to know you both were able to conceive and all is well with your pregnancies.
I don't know what caused all my pregnancy symptoms last month. I sure have not had them before (unless I was pregnant, and that hasnt happened in 17 yrs). Unfortunately AF came 5 days early. That was a huge disappointment. So now we are trying again. Our youngest daughter (we have two, 19 & 16.5) asked us two days ago why don't we go to IVF clinic, but that has never been a subject of great discussion between DH and I. We both believe that if it's God's will it will happen. I pray about it all the time and sometimes wonder if it is or not His will and I feel tempted sometimes to just have a brief discussion w/fertility specialist but all in all I don't feel too led to go that route. Guess we'll just keep on trying :) and hopefully get a BFP before too long. Good luck to you both. Keep in touch. I love hearing from all of you. And THANK YOU so much for your encouragement and support.
I don't know what caused all my pregnancy symptoms last month. I sure have not had them before (unless I was pregnant, and that hasnt happened in 17 yrs). Unfortunately AF came 5 days early. That was a huge disappointment. So now we are trying again. Our youngest daughter (we have two, 19 & 16.5) asked us two days ago why don't we go to IVF clinic, but that has never been a subject of great discussion between DH and I. We both believe that if it's God's will it will happen. I pray about it all the time and sometimes wonder if it is or not His will and I feel tempted sometimes to just have a brief discussion w/fertility specialist but all in all I don't feel too led to go that route. Guess we'll just keep on trying :) and hopefully get a BFP before too long. Good luck to you both. Keep in touch. I love hearing from all of you. And THANK YOU so much for your encouragement and support.
>>our eggs are as "fertile" as they were when we were younger,<<<
correction ~our eggs are NOT as "fertile" as they were ~
Sorry, long day.
correction ~our eggs are NOT as "fertile" as they were ~
Sorry, long day.
I am 39 and 24 weeks pregnant with my fourth child but there is an 18 year difference between #3 and #4.
Now, my doctor also gave me the "all clear" and nothing is wrong just don't use protection and let nature take its course. With my fiance', who is the father of this baby, he and I talked early on in our relationship about pregnancy and decided that if it happened it would be great and if it didn't that was fine to. We stopped using any type of birth control altogether. Now, mind you he has only one good testicle and even he and his ex-wife went through a period of time trying to conceive their only son. He honestly felt he could not have anymore with his exposure to whatever they are exposed to in the military.
To make a longer story short it took almost two years of "not trying to not get pregnant" before I actually got pregnant. The one thing with being older is our eggs are as "fertile" as they were when we were younger, hence why all my ex husband had to do was take off his pants and I was pregnant. (thats a joke). Even sperm ages and has issues when the male gets older. However, we females are only born with a set number of eggs and thats it.
I used Basel Body Temp for six months just to see if I was actually ovulating. I thought for sure I was every month because I was never late and always regular. Well, low and behold I didn't ovulate every single month. I did most months but you do not have a 100% chance every month of conceiving either its only like 25% or somthing like that.
So, if you hit the jackpot and end up pregnant the first month of trying, then congratulations. If it takes you awhile know that it is not uncommon and its okay as we have all gone through some form of this ourself. Heck, technically I should have gone for fertility treatments because they say after a year of no pregnancy blah blah then seek medical help. All we needed was time and patience.
My fiance' and I are having a baby girl and she is due to arrive October 11, 2008. She will be his only daughter and my third. He is already in love with her and beems when he sees her in the ultrasounds.
Best wishes and all the baby dust I can send you *^*^*^*^**^*^^*^^*^*^*^*^*^**^*^*^*^*
Sue 24.2 weeks
Now, my doctor also gave me the "all clear" and nothing is wrong just don't use protection and let nature take its course. With my fiance', who is the father of this baby, he and I talked early on in our relationship about pregnancy and decided that if it happened it would be great and if it didn't that was fine to. We stopped using any type of birth control altogether. Now, mind you he has only one good testicle and even he and his ex-wife went through a period of time trying to conceive their only son. He honestly felt he could not have anymore with his exposure to whatever they are exposed to in the military.
To make a longer story short it took almost two years of "not trying to not get pregnant" before I actually got pregnant. The one thing with being older is our eggs are as "fertile" as they were when we were younger, hence why all my ex husband had to do was take off his pants and I was pregnant. (thats a joke). Even sperm ages and has issues when the male gets older. However, we females are only born with a set number of eggs and thats it.
I used Basel Body Temp for six months just to see if I was actually ovulating. I thought for sure I was every month because I was never late and always regular. Well, low and behold I didn't ovulate every single month. I did most months but you do not have a 100% chance every month of conceiving either its only like 25% or somthing like that.
So, if you hit the jackpot and end up pregnant the first month of trying, then congratulations. If it takes you awhile know that it is not uncommon and its okay as we have all gone through some form of this ourself. Heck, technically I should have gone for fertility treatments because they say after a year of no pregnancy blah blah then seek medical help. All we needed was time and patience.
My fiance' and I are having a baby girl and she is due to arrive October 11, 2008. She will be his only daughter and my third. He is already in love with her and beems when he sees her in the ultrasounds.
Best wishes and all the baby dust I can send you *^*^*^*^**^*^^*^^*^*^*^*^*^**^*^*^*^*
Sue 24.2 weeks
Thanks. Ive been checked quite a few times by my OB and she says all is well so far. My cycles are still 28 days. I even had a pelvic ultrasound back in Jan and every thing looked pretty good. My next period is not due till May 8 or 10 so im planning on waiting till then to do a HPT. Im kind of scared...Ive done so many in the past and they always come back negative, but this time I actually feel I have a chance... :)
Thank you. That gives me some hope to know. I still have to wait at least one more week before I can do a HPT. I am really hoping is positive! :) Ive had other symptoms, like increased smell a couple of times. Actually, last week my husband took me to a very nice restaurant and I ordered the filet mignon and was really looking forward to eating it but when it got to the table I thougth I was going to get sick with the smell. I just find it so unusual Im getting so many symptoms so early on, then again every pregnancy is different. Good luck with yours.
I am in the middle of my 4th week (fetal age) MD would say 6wks but my symptoms did lessen right before I got my FRER +. My bbs stopped being so sore and I had cramps like af was coming but she didn't!
Good luck!
Good luck!
Pregnancy symptoms can come and go. Id wait another week and take a HPT and see if it comes out positive. If this is your first attempt at trying I would also make sure that you are truly ovulating. While you can have a cycle you may not ovulate w/ea cycle. There are alot of ladies on here in their 40's and prego. And some had some help to get there and some did not. And one thing Ive learned from these ladies is its ALL about egg quality. Im 35 and the same holds true for me!
I wish you the best!
I wish you the best!
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