HELP PLEASE!!!

[jaspergirl]

I need some help ladies!!!  I am 36 years old and 7 weeks pregnant.  This is my third pregnancy, I have a 17 year old son and 13 year old twin boys.  I have been divorced for over a year and met someone around the time of my separation from my ex husband.  My boyfriend is a great guy but I have to say this was shock to both of us.  He is 46 and really did not plan on having any more children although he keeps asking me to marry him because of the unborn child.  Here is my biggest problem...I really don't want to get married right now.  I know that society expects that but I simply do not feel like it would be the best answer.  I have been through divorce once and cannot imagine putting another child through that.  Help...............

[7preg3b]

let everything evolve don't put too much on what society wants.  society is all messed up anyway..   have fun and enjoy your pregnancy whether hes there or not..  

[Maddiesmom0801]

My aunt raised me and my twin brother since we were 6 years old because our mother passed away from breast cancer at age 34. I am now 26 years old.  She also had a child of her own (my cousin; who I consider my sister) who was 3 years older than us.  She did it all by herself since this was her older sister's wish (my mother)  especially since my father was not around. We all graduated from college, have great careers, and built our brand new first houses within a year of each other.  Just make sure you supply a stable environment to your children, teach them good morals and leave it in God's hands.  There is no need to conform to what society expects of you.  Be happy.  If you are not 100% comfortable making the decision to get married at this time, odds are you are not ready yet and that is ok.  Make sure you have no doubt in your mind that this is what you want to do to ensure that you will not have to go through the heartache of another divorce.  Do it for yourself and your children. Divorce affects them too.  I pray you find peace with your decision.  We support you!!!

[LisaRG]

My grandmother raised me because I had 2 nutty parents.
She was by herself and I turned out pretty good.  She was my rock and I will never forget her.
One really ,really good parent figure is way better than 2 bad ones.
Lisa

[mysty2001]

I am single and pregnant with twins
I adopted the embies
who cares what society wants!

[Miranda9]

Hi JasperGirl,
Congratulations on your pregnancy:)

Oh, sister, I hear ya.

I was with my ex-husband from age 23 until we married at 30....six hears into the marriage he cheated on me and that's what ultimately led to our divorce.
His parting words: "Sorry, I took the best reproductive years from your life."

OUCH.  There was a reason why I never wanted children with this guy.

I am now with a wonderful man.  We're living together not married.  I'm in no rush for that piece of paper.  And I do want a baby with him.  We might get married.  Eventually.  But as you can appreciate, it doesn't have the same meaning for me anymore.  And nobody is raising any eyebrows.

So, yeah, as the other posters are saying, don't worry what "society" is saying...I don't think "society" is really noticing.  It's far more important for your child to be brought up in a stable, happy, loving environment - with or without that piece of paper.  

[Tennesseegirl]

I too would not worry on what  "society" expects. I would think now a days its common. putting the child in a bad marriage would not be good. congradulations on your prego. and good luck with your choice.

[PamelaBee]

You are dead on about that!!!

[adgal]

Welcome, and congratulations!!  I personally feel that what a child needs most is to be loved.  Be that one parent or two, married or not, is really up to you.  I wouldn't feel pressured if I were you.  A happy mom makes for happy children.

Best of luck to you!!

[PamelaBee]

Hi!  Congratulations on your pregnancy!  I don't see any problem not wanting to remarry after going through a divorce.  Pregnant or not.  You must have your personal reasons why you feel this way.  Perhaps it is your intuition speaking to you.  Don't worry about what "society" expects--as long as you feel you are doing what's right for you and your unborn child, that is most important!  Is it possible to perhaps postpone talk of marriage at this time, and see how things go down the road a while?  Divorce can leave a bitter taste in ones mouth, and if it's not your flavor...than don't do it!