I am trying to get pregnant at 42 and I have questions
Hi there... this is the start of my baby making process. I had surgery to open my tubes and stared on Clomid and my doctor says all systems are go! Do I stop drinking coffee and wine right away? how many attempts does it take?? What should I be doing and not doing?????????? any help will be appreciated. And some happy new from others would be more than welcome.
Hi....if you dont' get pregnant within 6 months you should see a fertility doctor and be more aggressive with you TTC efforts. It's very difficult to get pregnant at 42. (If you do get pregnant, make sure that your doctor does an ultrasound fairly early to ensure you don't have ectopic pregancy. You are at higher risk since you've had tubal surgery. )
As far as attempts...who knows...you might get lucky and get pregnant right away or it could take a very long time. Also if you get pregnant know that you're up against a high miscarriage rate. But there are many women in their 40s who get pregnant and carry a baby to term, they are just few and far between. It's just harder to do at this age, than if you were 19 or 20.
As far as the coffee and wine...while that's all fine and dandy to stop right now, I wouldn't bother to stop. Those things aren't going to prevent you from getting pregnant. You're biggest obstacle now is to find a good egg that will turn into a healthy embryo. Of course cut the wine out once you're pregnant and cut down on the coffee..( I've read two cups is okay during pregnancy). I'm pregnant and still have an occassional cup of coffee, although no wine, but I did have an itty bitty sip.
Also I recommend getting your hand on some books for women trying to conceive when they are advanced maternal age. We're fighting mother nature here when we try to get pregnant over 40. I liked this book... A Few Good Eggs: Two Chicks Dish on Overcoming the Insanity of Infertility. It is incredibly stressful trying to get pregnant and then getting pregnant and losing to miscarriage.
Oops...I forgot to mention getting an ovulation predictor kit. If you have a regular 28 day cycle have sex ever other day starting on cycle day 10 to cycle day 14. That's your ideal fertility window.
And if you're efforts don't work go to the infertility doctor and get something a bit stronger than clomid. I took clomid for 5 days (200mg) and then two days of injectibles to stimulate ovaries. I got 2 follicles I think! When I took follistim I got more follicles to work with for IUI....unfortunately neither one of those agressive efforts worked. ONe I didn't get pregnant and the other I did but miscarried. So my point is maybe something more agressive that clomid.
Keep your fingers crossed and say a lot of prayers...you might get lucky!!
You can always call just schedule a consult with an RE, see what they say, and make a plan (even if that includes trying naturally for a few months first). That would be your best bet I think. I am 39y and I know if I were just starting TTC at age 42y, knowing what I know now, I would just go directly there without wasting any time. Best of luck.
Hello Bren02, welcome to the community. First of all, let me say, all women are different. Some women get pregnant first time trying, and others take forever, and some never do. It's all the roll of the dice. Unfortunately, we can't have a miniscule camera inside our cervix monitoring when it's going to happen. At 42, and just TTC, it's hard to say if things will happen right away for you, usually after 6mos most women consult an RE. Please do not get consummed and worried with miscarriage, some women fixate on those statistics and worry themselves sick (and others)...it's too much. If you conceive it can go one of two ways, viable or not viable. And then, it's just a waiting game, every day and week and month that passes. As far as any other advice, I would definitely start taking prenatal vitamins and eat healthy, enjoy your current lifestyle, and everything in moderation. OPKs are a great guideline for predicting your fertile days and ovulation, but don't always have sex just when the OPK indicates, be spontaneous with sex, do it early in your cycle, and later. The OPKs are simply a tool to help detect, they are not always accurate. The month I became pregnant (currently with #2), I didn't do an OPK, and we had sex about 3 days earlier than we usually did...so who knows, I just always assummed because the OPK targeted certain days for me that it was right. The rest...well just enjoy the process...I know once a women is ready to conceive it becomes her sole priority, but try to not make it be, because that just might be the time when you get lucky! Disappointment may come and go each month you anxciously await to do a HPT, but ust know you are on the best forum for support and information. Extra doses of babydust coming your way, and best of luck TTC! Pam
Well after reading some of the posts I'm starting to be afraid to ttc again. I just turned 38 and I had a m/c at the beginning of the month. I was actually 16w along, still waiting on some reason why I had a late m/c. Anyway, we really want to ttc again but after hearing so many bac things about having a baby over 35, I have to admit I am starting to second guess myselt. We really want another child but is it too risky? I am not one to focus on statistics that's why I stay off of those sites. At 38 am I too old? Is it a bad decision? I really hope not.
There are certain posters that are compelled to mention the statistics and complications with miscarriage and chromosome complications to women inquiring to have a baby at an advanced maternal age. I apologize if it made you second guess or question your desire to try again. It does put a sense of apprehension and doom on the entire process, even before you get started. Yes, we all know that women TTC over the age of 35 are at risk. To what degree that is, depends on the woman, her medical history, or reasons beyond our control. All women are different, some have miscarriage after miscarriage, some have one, some none. It's all out of our control, and when it does happen, it's natures way of ending an unviable pregnancy, so you can't put the blame on yourself. But, that doesn't mean there are not more of your healthy quality eggs ready to be fertilized and develop into a healthy, viable pregnancy. Please continue to try, do not let scary statistics stand in your way....you can do this! Pls keep us posted. Pam
well I'm TTC at age 38.. I have four beautiful children and am finding myself wanting another.. we will ttc until July and then stop if not pregnant yet.. I don;t want to raise kids all of my life... I have a 17 year old too.. good luck on TTC.. I just tell myself age is just a myth..
Thank you for the positive feedback. It's nice to hear that you had a child in your 40's a second one on the way! It makes me trust that it can and will happen. I got married last year. I could have had a baby at any point in my life but I waited until the time was right to be fair to myself and a little one. I am very excited about the process! And it helps to find a group that understands what this is like.
To PamalaBee, thank you so much for your wise words. I feel much better about it now. We really do want another child. I did see a new ob/gyn today and he gave me a lot of hope, too. He really answered all of my questions and gave us the go ahead to ttc again. I have to wait for 2 cycles but I'm ok with that.
Thanks again for being so positive!
I second everything Pam said. Sometimes I think people (naturally) allow their own experiences to color their opinion. If you've had a hard time conceiving and/or have had miscarriages, you tend to think it is more common. If you *didn't have a hard time, then you might think it's easy. Either way, statistics can be frightening if you allow them to get to you. I'm almost 41 and got pregnant very easily...the second month trying. I'm almost 18 weeks now, and everything looks great. I've had a fairly easy pregnancy so far. As for miscarriages...Natalie, if you've had just one, sometimes it is just an anomoly. No one knows why it happened, and if there's no pattern of miscarriage, chances are you won't have another one. Anyway...I hope both of you don't get discouraged. I'm keeping you in my thoughts, and send lots of sticky baby dust to you! Please keep us updated...
I agree with Tricia. We all tend to speak from our own experience.
I'm your age and I certainly believe you can get pregnant!
I've never had any trouble conceiving naturally....but I have had three miscarriages. I've just found out that I have anticardiolipin antibodies that may have contributed to these losses. My twin sister is currently pregnant with her second child and she is doing great!
What should you be doing? Eat healthy. Take your folic acid supplements. Try to cut down on your coffee and wine now...to make it easier when you want to eliminate.
The obvious thing is to have sex right before you ovulate. Are you tracking your cycle with bloodwork and u/s or by BBT?
Don't use lubrication when you have sex...apparently it hinders the sperm mobility!
I have read the coffee can interfere with fertility so I would stop it. Also you are taking prenatals right?
Have you had your progesterone checked? That is almost a given in this crowd as most of us sustained pg. with progesterone supplements..
Also clomid thinned my lining so you may want to have your lining checked. I had to go to injectables
With your age you may want to do iui with clomid and up your chances. It really doesn't cost that much more and your insurance may cover it. I did iui with clomid and they just did the iui when I was o'ing
Well I quit coffee and wine just in case and so far so good! I changed to Ovaltine it has vitimins that I need anyway. I have been taking Materna for the last year and I am pretty active and healty. I used an Ovulation kit and we were right on time... here's hoping! We'll find out in the next week or so. I plan to stay pretty positive and I know this will happen!
To the ones who just love to throw those, ahem, stats, at women TTC over 35, as if these women weren't aware of the negative bull that swarms the universe when you're trying for a baby after a certain age that some find 'offensive', just throw some positive thinking why don't you!!!
You can be 20 and miscarry, would you bring that up to a 20 year old, I think not. Google pregnancy over 44 and you'll find loads who have had healthy babies!
Ahh stumbled upon this thread quite accidently and have once again had my soul soothed by the lovely pamela along with the kind encouraging and gentle words from Seleana. Good luck to everyone and sticky babydust to all xxxx
Salenea- I checked out the site you recommended and I really loved it. There were a lot of links to other helpful sites. I appreciate your positive thoughts and great attitude. I'll keep you posted when I get my bfp. I have to wait 2 cycles before we can ttc but hopefully the time will go quickly.
Just so you note: I can read for myself thank you. It's not necessary for you to point out the support I see it for myself and God bless the women for their support and encouragement, it makes a strong difference. If I didn't acknowlege the positive support I apologize. It doesn 't mean I did not recognize it nor did it mean it wasn't greatly appreciated.... and I can see the negative tones as well for myselfl...thanks anyway.
No need to get snippy. Your original post seemed to be addressed to everyone here, and I took offense because there is really only ONE poster who is pretty much negative all the time. Everyone else here is usually very positive and supportive, which is why I like all of these women so much!
Oh, and I agree with Selenea that it isn't a rare thing for women to make babies in their 40s! Maybe not as common as in your 20s and 30s, but certainly not UNcommon! And it isn't always necessarily difficult. I got pregnant the second month of trying, and I'm 40. I will be 41 when the baby is born (I'm 18 weeks now). And getting pregnant this time was just as easy as when I was pregnant at 21 and 31. :-)
Salenea, Pam, socaltricia, 7preg, meli, savanah and miranda-You were all very positive and I appreciate it. We're going to take this time, 2 cycles, to relax. I can't wait to get a bfp and post it, I know I'll need support b/c I am nervous since the m/c. There is always a negative poster, I've learned to ignore it, thanks to you girls :)
I don't want to be gloomy/doomy. There are just some of us women 43+ who've had to admit some harsh realities in our fertility journey. Luckily it isn't everyone - thank God for that - but there are women like myself who've had a helluva time getting pregnant and had to resort to more aggressive methods.
To the OP - hopefully your ttc journey goes smoothly. In my opinion, I would consult a re (reproductive endocrinologist) in two -three months if you don't get pregnant. Unfortunately for me, I waited until I was 43 to get really serious and it turned out to be not a smart decision.
natalie - I wish you all of the baby dust in the world on your upcoming ttc. I've been through a late miscarriage - there's nothing like it. It was truly heartbreaking. Don't take to heart too many of the stats, etc. You're young - in your late 30's but still very fertile. God bless you & i wish you SSBD - jen
Natalie - You are so welcome - I pray for SSBD for you as quick as possible. Don't let this loss make you afraid of being pregnant. You probably don't have those fears but gosh I really did a number on myself. I'm sure your next pregnancy will go smoothly. I have an idea of how hard your m/c was - bless your heart. All the best to you!!!
I just started "trying' at 38. I haven't been NOT trying ...
But now I am 39. We just had IVF (1st). I went to my OBGYN right away and told him and he prescribed clomid I think. It was awhile ago. I too used OVkits for that year, until I got the specialists and they take blood constantly so they tell me everything. THese shots are getting old but it is worth it.
I too quit coffee etc (eVERYTHING) right away, and take prenate, etc. I heard recently to take baby aspirin.
Jen- Oh you have no idea, I am afraid but I want this so badly. Thanks for the SSBD, I really hope it works and stays put for 9 months. I am so glad you had your little boy, he is adorable, all your children are! Thanks for the support.
Well... I got my answer first thing this morning before I even had a chance to do a HPT. It was a big fat no! I gave myself 10 min's to be upset and now I'm okay. I'll try again next month.
It's nice to have the support of people who understand what it means each month when your period shows up. My husband is very supportive and my dog just seems to know when mama needs an extra cuddle.
Wow, another great thread I missed while away. Bren, I'm sorry it's BFN this month, but that just doesn't mean a thing!! It took me about 3 months ttc the first time to get pregnant..I was 38. I was worrying a bit about the age thing now that I am 40 and ttc, but this forum is filled with story after story of healthy babies being born to women over 35 and well into their 40's. My OB had her first child at 41. She also tells me to be optimistic as their is absolutely every reason to believe I can have a healthy pregnancy and baby. So SSBD to you and every one else ttc right now. We can do this ladies!!!!!!
Just a quick comment on the coffee and wine. Using it now won't do anything to harm a fetus should you fall pregnant, and chances are it won't hinder your chances of getting pregnant. The reason some OB's recommend against it while ttc is that it dehydrates you, and can decrease the amount of fertile mucus your body produces. I am wondering if you have tried preseed? I love the stuff, and it is the only lubricant you can use while ttc (or at least the only only I know of). Also, personally I swear by ovulation predictor tests. They have worked really well for me! Good luck to you!!
Thanks for the comments. I have been off the pill for 4 years and we have not used any protection. I used an Ovluation kit and got the happy face and it all seemed so right! All systems were go! I'll just keep trying. I know that it will happen for us.
Hang in there Bren, one little BFN is nothing... it's the next one that counts!
oh and I strongly believe in DHEA, especially for advanced maternal age like us... I don't know if it has any medical value or substantial research to prove that it improves ovarian response but I tried for almost 3 years and took DHEA and got pregnant 2 months later... could be a fluck, I don't know, just thought I would share my experience.
I am SO sorry for you. I m/c at 14 wks in 2001. It was hard to get past. We waited until now to try again and cannot get pregnant. Your family looks lovely and you are very blessed. I know that the confusion and sadness are there now but God bless you as you move forward.
There's a lady on this forum - PamelaBee - who got pregnant at 42 and is pregnant now at 45. It's not unheard of but it's a tough road for sure. If you want more information, start a new thread or send a note to her - she'll be glad to answer.
I am 42 years old. I had a baby when I was 20 and then a miscarriage. My 2nd husband and I have been married for 8 years now and we have never tried to hinder getting pregnant. Last year we thought that we should actively try to get pregnant.
However, we live in the Philippines now and I went to a specialist. We tried a couple of different ways to get pregnant and I really believe that he just gave up. So I tried a new doctor. She put me on Clomid which thinned my lining and did not produce many follicles, just 2.
My sister in law is an OB-Gyn and she told me that Clomid for woman over 40 is not a great choice. But what kind of a choice do I have. I live outside of the US now.
My doctor switched to injectible hormones, and I got my period on day 10.
I am considering finding a Naturopath doctor here in the Philippines.
Just to let you know, I am 42 and pregnant. Wasn't trying, It was just one of those "are you kidding moments". I am a little scared, but I have two healthy beautiful boys already, so we are taking it one day, one test at a time.
Hi Ladies, I was trying to find some info for my SIL and came across this post. My SIL is currently 10 Weeks preg and she is 44 Years old. (Has no kids yet)
In 2006 she had 2 mc and found out she had anticardiolipin Antibodies. She decided not to try for a baby anymore, the heartache was too much. But low and behold she found herself pregnant again and she is thrilled. She said it was a complete surprise.
As for APA, she had been taking baby aspirin since early last year 2009. Her dr. re-tested and it was negative so she is currently NOT on Heparin or Lovenox but so far so good. I am hoping her dr. will re-test every 6 weeks or so because I have read that these blood clotting disorders can flare up from time to time.
Anyway I just thought that her story is one of hope. I strongly believe that a positive attitude makes a big difference.
Hello All, I just wanted to thank you Selenea, you remind me of my bestfriend that keeps telling me stop listing to everyone, and just keep trying~ I'm 42 years old and I want to get pregnant, a lot of people have a lot to say, and it all seems a little upsetting. I wish everyone luck as I do myself.
TTC @ 42 and scared too death. Please pray for me! I have 2 kids from a prior marriage and i desperately want to give my husband a baby. He does not have any biological children. I love him so much that I am willing to try this. I am encouraged by my bestfriend that is delivering by Csection on Tuesday and she conceived this baby naturally . God is still in the blessing business and I have just have to wait patiently on mine!
I'll be 41 this august and I got pregnant the first time I EVER tried (march '11). So don't listen to all the statistics, etc! If you're trying ANYWAY...just go for it! Be as healthy as you can possible be! Good luck!
Hi, Don't worry. Last year I had my daughter at 40 years of age after IVF. I always suspected that I did not need IVF help , sure enough, this year on our first try I conceived and I am now 9 weeks pregnant! good luck with everything.
Best advice I can give you is to be KIND to yourself, treat yourself, make sure you are as happy and relaxed as possible - the biggest killer in our world it stress and doubt. So be happy and positive - try to fake it til you make it
DHEA will help maintain the health of your eggs, when you ovulate usually the folicles which don't result in your period disintergate, DHEA helps to reduce the number of folicles which are disintegrated - but been warned that you must STOP taking DHEA the second you find out you are pregnant. Your Doctors can fill you in on how much to take and how often doses start at 50mg a tablet and it is relatively inexpensive, however you don need a Dr to prescribe it and as with everything else it does not work with everything. Please check with your Dr and or Specialists
Thanks for that - I never realised it could take two years for women in their 40s! I always think each month that it doesn't happen I'm closer to the stats of doom. You've given me hope to keep trying with a positive spirit, much appreciated.
I had my first at age 36. My second at 39. No problems conceiving with my first but I had 3 miscarriages before my blessed little girl. I'm 41 now and actually wondering if I'm preggers again! My two are very healthy beautiful blessings!!
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