My wife is 35 and is wanting her first baby

[Mama1231]

We are wanting to get pregnant and my wife is 35 and fearful. I'm staying optimistic for the both of us. Is there any information or advice  for me to support her and reassure her?

[allmymarbles]

I don't understand what the problem is. Are you worried about her age? That is ridiculous! I had my first at 32 and my fourth at 43. My daughter just had her fourth at 45. Your wife is just a kid!!! And you can tell her that my aunt had her last at 52. That beats Elizabeth in the bible who was only 50!

[Helen72]

OK, that explains why you need a sperm bank donor.  Good luck!!!

[Mama1231]

Yes. I am a lesbian. Don't be sorry for asking. I know it's kinda confusing cuz I've been discreet for consideration of others beliefs. :-)

[chinesebones]

A great book to read is "Taking Charge of your Fertility"- it explains more than you might have ever wanted to know about using BBTs, cervical fluid and cervical position to predict ovulation.  Honestly, I just used ovulation predictor kits and tracked BBTs.  Best of luck to you both!

[Helen72]

Sorry to ask, but are you a woman?  Is that the reason for going through sperm bank?

[Mama1231]

It sounds like goin through a sperm bank donor would be the safest. Legally and biologically. They test all donors and go through a screening process right? I've told my wife of all the information I've gathered and she just smiled at me. I think that's a good sign considering I was thinking she could have thought I was being a little obsessive. But she said it was cute. I figure the more info I get and knowledg I have the more I'll be able to love and support and protect her through this process. :-)

[Helen72]

Your wife can get her FSH tested.  It  is a simple blood test that any ob will do and it indicates ovarian reserve (number and quality of eggs).  You can get yourself tested if you have any doubts.
Good luck!

[shuga1109]

basal body temperature and ovulation kits work!  Use a BBT thermometer.  It will be helpful to use a chart and write down the temp. everyday at the same time when your body's at rest, like first thing in the morning before getting out of bed.  An increase in body temperature can mean she is ovulating.  On that day or the next, when wiping (using the bathroom) she might see rawegg white gooey stuff come out of her.  When she sees this, that is the best time for conception.  It helps the sperm get to the egg.  Try ovulation sites and download free basal body temperature charts.  I have a friend who conceived and is a lesbian.  She and her partner used a "kit".  Im not sure what "kit" they were referring to, but they got the sperm from a trusted male "friend" who signed papers stating he will have absolutely no ties to the baby and gave up all rights if she were to become pregnant.  And she did.  The baby is now 1.  Her partner injected the sperm into her.  I am not recommending this at all.  Just thought I'd share this story.  Menstrual cycle, ovulation and basal body temperature!

[Mama1231]

Do u just take temperature and track menstruation or is there something else specifically needed for tracking?

[mi_amorcito]

Sorry * tracking. Also start a menstral tracking..I am TTC at the age of 44 so she is way younger than me..

SSBD..
Super sticky baby dust

[mi_amorcito]

You should start ovualtion tracking and temp checking now.

Good luck
I am so happy you are both wanting a baby

[Mama1231]

When should we start ovulation tracking?

[SabrinaB39]

TTC = trying to conceive.  I had my 3rd child at 35 and am having another. I am currently 40 and 16 weeks pregnant. Your partner is not even close to running out of eggs and should be able to conceive just fine.  When we started trying I took a prenatal vitamin, vitamin D and folic acid daily a month prior and continued until we were pregnant. All these you can get at your local health store.

As far as the donor part goes I can't give you any advise there. Using a clinic allows you to get a full background on the donor and it's anonymous.  If you choose a "friend" as a donor you may have to share custody etc.  I have friends who did this and the little boy had two moms until they split but still has the same two dads and the two biological parents share custody however their partners have no legal rights to him.  So that is something you and your partner need to discuss and weigh the options on.

Good luck!

[Mama1231]

What's TTC?

[BabyJazz2010]

Get yourself on a TTC board, perhaps one that's TTC with a donor sperm (can be known or unknown).  Your questions are way too general.  I take it you're a lesbian couple.  Check out the fertity  friend site.  Are you working with a doctor or RE?   As far as extras, she could start charting her body basal temps and using ovulation prediction kits to become new familiar with her cycle.  Age alone is no reason for her to be concerned or worried.

[Mama1231]

She is more fearful of not being able to get pregnant and if she has enough eggs left. Basically, she fears her clock is ticking down and it's too late. I reassure her often and am filling her in on the info I'm collecting on the site. She seems to feel comforted. R there any other 'extras' she could do to help the fertilization process? Extra vitamins, or supplements? Would  finding a donor be better than goin to a sperm bank? Obviously it's cheaper, but would it be better?

[melimeli]

I got pg at 35 and had a very nice uneventful pg...   good luck to her!  

[chinesebones]

35 is used as the cut-off age for when a pregnant woman is offered more testing, etc, but that is no reason to be scared.  35 is still young enough to have a baby.  I had my first at 39, am having my second at 42 and so are two of my same-age friends.  The good news is that insurance is more willing to cover more testing, so you get reassurance plus get to see the baby in ultrasounds more often.
If she is worried about genetic problems, she can have a nuchal translucency scan at 11-13 weeks- or a more invasive CVS test.  If she's worried about the chance of miscarriage, sadly that can happen at any age.  Be sure she's taking folic acid or a prenatal vitamin before conception- that is an easy way to prevent spinal cord abnormalities.  If possible, she could go to her GYN for a pre-conception check-up and get blood drawn to see if she's anemic, hypothyroid, or vitamin deficient.  If she times the blood draw at 1 week past ovulation she could also get her progesterone level checked- low progesterone is an easily remedied problem that can cause early miscarriage.  Also she could take baby aspirin from ovulation to help with implantation.
I know a lot of young women are happy to be mothers, but personally I am so glad I waited.  I feel like I got all my wild oats sowed, had lots of couple time with my husband, and am financially, emotionally, and mentally in a good place to devote my time and energy to raising children.  Best wishes to you both!

[Helen72]

Most pregnancies end well, why is she fearful?

[trh0819]

I'll be 38 in three weeks and am 9 weeks pregnant with my first. Just have to find a doc you trust, put your faith in God, and go for it.  Good luck to you!

[worried2451]

Why is your wife fearful? 35 certainly isn't too old to start a family. Everything should be fine. Good Luck!