My world is flipping again

[Brown Eyed Gurl]

now I talked to my boss again this morning telling him the date my OB said to quit now his whole story is changing.....now he said well my deal is if you go oever the 12 weeks I can't gauratee anything.....he said now on that note I want to work with you and If you keep in contact and let me know what's going on I don't have any problem making sure you have a job to come back to but all in all I'm running a business here.......

I knew it was all to good to be true

[Brown Eyed Gurl]

I asked and they said our short term is like 13-26 weeks so I figure that would be pleanty of time.....and I've just deceided to just not worry so much about a job if I lose it I guess it's meant to be I just have to put it in the man upstairs hands and quit stressing myself over it .....but I'm thining I will still have a job since they aren't hiring a new guy they just are bringing a guy from another quarry here til I get back so either way they will need him back.......I just don't care anymore....but I'm pretty sure the temp disability will cover me while I'm out.....I hope....LOL

[Nickey1]

Have you looked into long term disability?  I know short term ends at 12 weeks, and the 13th it'll go into long term disability.  Now, this still wouldn't gurantee your job, BUT it will provide income for longer than 12 weeks (and you'll have time to look for another job)

[Brown Eyed Gurl]

Thanks everyone I do plan on doing what my OB and my body is telling me and that is take a break my EDD is Aug 24 and I'm telling you now I don't want to have these babies in 4 weeks I'd at least to make 6-8 more weeks and I plan on keeping in close touch with my boss so he knows I am for sure coming back.

[HeathJo]

Brandi, I admire you so much for the way you're handling this. It's so stressful when your entire livelihood is in the hands of an employer. I have worked "big" executive corporate jobs, and I am also a part-owner of a small business. I believe people should come before profits, but that is obviously not the "American" way, unfortunately.

You are young and healthy, so I would do what your body says now and hope that you will have a speedy recovery post-partum, and that you can get those babies on a schedule before having to return to work.

My thoughts and prayers are with you. . .

[Logan206]

I feel for you, as this is a tough situation.  I hope you are able to rest as your dr has recommended.  I have twins that are almost 1 year.  They were due last Aug 22, but came on June 24th instead.  I was feeling just fine the whole pregnancy, working full time (desk job though, so pretty relaxing on my body).  My life, my plans, my perspective, my everything, changed very quickly when I was unexpectedly the mother of 32 week preemies.

I don't want to alarm you, but looking back on things, I wished I'd taken it easier those last few weeks/months.  If you deliver much before 34 weeks, i doubt you will be in a position to work anywhere in 12 weeks.  Do whatever you can to keep those babies inside as long as you can.  I speak from experience.  Twins are hard, preemies twins are even more demanding.  Mine have done very well, despite their early arrival, but it has been a LONG year!  I don't wish that stress and strain on anyone.  I so hope that you go as close to full term as you can.   Sounds like you are doing great, so continue to take care of yourself and those little ones!!

[carpediemforlife]

You know...you are in a jam....but it sounds like you are going about it the best you can.  I say leave when you need and rest.  Ive got 3 friends with twins....not one of them made it to their due dates.  So they will probably be early.  And then call your boss once or twice a week with follow up so he doesnt think you are avoiding him.  And keep him posted....almost OVER communicate so he doesnt feel you are abandoning your job.  And if you need a week or 2 you may be more likely to get it. Sorry about the situation.  It does stink.

[Brown Eyed Gurl]

Thanks that's my plan I'm trying to work with them in the fact they might end up working with me after all...I told them my OB wrote me out the 13th being my last day but I told them I didn't mind helping out another week if they really needed me til they got someone else in here....so I think if I give maybe they will too....but that's the longest I'm gonna work

[babyprayers]

I know,, it sucks.. I am lucky, so far the pregnancy thing hasnt been to bad for me, although being a nurse and being on my feet has taken its toll, My job is pretty secure, they want me back as there is such a nursing shortage, I say do what you have to do for the health and well being of your babies, and play it by ear, sometimes bosses and HR threaten their employess and intimidate them to do what they want them to do... could be they may get NOONE to take your place, and your job will be available to you, I guess brandi, you have to put yourself and your babies first, not only that, but if your babies do come that early,, there may be problems,, and you wont be going back to work anyway... I say go for it, and go out when your doctor says you should, you have to think about them and you.. stand up and fight.. and dont back down!!!,

[Brown Eyed Gurl]

yeah I've got a couple weeks but say by some freak chance my babies don't come til Aug....even though my OB swares they won't stay in past July but say they do that's 7 weeks to the beginning of Aug.....that would leave me 5 weeks at home with them....so I take my 2 weeks or however much I have and that gets me to 7 weeks with them that would only put them out 1 weeks over my FMLA so I don't see I'm being to unfair to ask that......but if they don't come til their due date then I'd only have 2 weeks FMLA and 2 weeks vacation and I would need 4 weeks unpaid which I'm sure they won't stay in that long so I'd only be asking 1-2 weeks  more than likely.....and heck if they come mid July I'd have pleanty of time the whole deal is the not knowing....

[babyprayers]

do you have any vacation time you can take that wont count against your fmla..

[Brown Eyed Gurl]

I didn't think I was asking much though I just wanted to make sure I have at least 8 weeks at home with my babies even if it's not paid and having my 8 weeks I might go over my 12 weeks FMLA by 2-3 weeks tops.....but who knows I just know I'm doing what's best for my babies and for my healthy bu quitting at 30 weeks like my Ob wants......but I do understand that it could be hard to get better laws I just wish I got the same laws as other states.....

[alikat1205]

I understand the frustration, since I had to go back to work within 12 weeks of the birth of my first child, and I worked up until the day before she was born.  It sucked, but at the same time, as a business owner since then, I don't think the business has to fund the care of the child, by saving a job for a year.  That isn't fair to business, which has to continue in the absence of mom.  Really, it isn't the businesses responsibility to worry if you have a baby or not.  Not a popular opinion, but a fact of life.  If it was changed on a federal level, the money to do it has to come from somewhere.  Does anyone want more taxes???????  This is just a sucky fact of life.  

[adgal]

You know, at this risk of sounding like an idiot, I honestly think American women need to start a petition or something like that to change maternity laws in the US.  It needs to happen at a Federal level. All the other countries in the western world, in other words all over Europe, Canada, etc.  there are Federal laws in place that ensure a women gets a minimum year off (some countries longer) paid.  Here its paid at 40% of our income from unemployment insurance (and most big companies will top it off for their employees) for one year, and its illegal for your company to replace you in that time frame. Women have babies, its a reality, and need time with them in the babies best interest. The US is such a progressive forward thinking country, except in this respect I think.  I know working on getting the law changed doesn't help you now, it could help women down the road. You should all start writing letters, gathering names, etc.  The only way to get things changed is to make noise about it.  Especially coming up to an election there.  Just my 2 cents.

Its really unfortunate that you trying to be a good mom should affect your ability to provide financially for them. Thats just not fair.

[Brown Eyed Gurl]

I've been here since I was 18 almost 19 and now I'm almost 23 so that makes almost 4 years...I have came to the conclusion I will do what's best for my babies and that means I'm going to rest just like my OB want starting in 2 weeks.....I want t omake sure and have some big healthy babies and no job is worth risking that...I will just keep praying that God will do the rest I will pray a know whats best will happen

[adgal]

I think we should all go down there and "explain" to him how things work.  It sounds like he has absolutely no compassion at all.  You have obviously worked there a long time, and now he is taking advantage of you because he can.  He knows he has you stuck.  What a creep. Not what you need right now at all.  I am sorry your going through this Brandi, I sure hope everything works out ok for you.

[Brown Eyed Gurl]

I work at a Rock Quarry so I really can't work from home I scale out the trucks......I could try to get another job but I was really lucky to get this one....and I have no college hours just started here right out of high school and I make pretty good money for this area....and I doubt with the economy like it is I could find another as good.

[maybebaby29]

Wow. I'm sorry you're dealing with this. But you got a great support group here. We should storm the castle and yell at your boss. :)

[Sheri1972]

That boss does sound like a jerk, but unfortunately he isn't breaking any rules.  By Federal Law, FMLA only protects your job for 12 weeks. After that, they can replace you if they think they need to.

http://www.dol.gov/esa/whd/fmla/

I'm not entirely sure what you do for a living, but could you possibly work from home? With my last, I took 3 weeks off after an emergency C section and then worked from home the other 9 weeks.  They gave me full pay for working from home, but my job is a desk job and I could do that.

Maybe you could also shop for another job?  Again, I'm not sure of what you do...  is your current job physically difficult?

Sheri

[have 2 kids]

You definately need to do what your Dr says.  It sucks that you might not have much time at home with the babies but if you can't afford to stay home you won't have much choice.
Good luck!

[Brown Eyed Gurl]

I asked about working part time and my boss said that would put just as much stress on the company as if I was I was gone all day cause it's harder to find help for a few hours a day compaired to a full days work so I just need to go on my disability since that's what my OB wants....he said I'm running out of room for my  babies and he wants me to quit and be at home to rest so that I have a better chance of keeping them in a few more weeks they are just now almost 3 lb a piece he wants them to make it to 34 weeks at least.

[have 2 kids]

What about working parttime?  Your boss said he is willing to work with you.  Sometimes you just have to suck it up and do what needs to be done.   I was on bedrest and had to return to work 2 wks after having an emergency c-section.    Your boss is running a business.  

[gokuangel]

What the h***!!! Ur boss is such a jerk!! Thats just not fair!! Not only are u pregnant but u got twins in there!! he cant expect u to have them and jump up a week later and start working!! I would not risk it if ur body cant handle no more the most important thing right now is to get ur babies here safe and sound. Im sorry bout ur state law thats really not fair i hope it all works out for you GL!!

[Brown Eyed Gurl]

I 've checked into it even contacted the state they said I'm lucky my boss is even considering working with me by law he doesn't have to after 12 weeks....only thing I can do to guarantee my job is just work longer....but my body is saying no.

[valleybabes]

Oh Lord I am so sorry to hear that the boss is really an a$$!!!  I agree with maybebaby ....see if there is anything else that can be done.   You know pregnancy is just a part of life here ....what are these people thinking???  Your entitled to have a life too!!!  *Now I am all grumpy this morning* ....but alway enjoy hearing from you Brandi....something will happen for you hun don't worry.

Delma 27w4d