Out of the lurking....and into the light

[chickymama]

uummm.. where do I start?? I've been lurking here since Oct. 12th . I googled " period 3 days late and neg preg. test" and ended up here! My AF came a few days later but It was wierd. It started with brown blood then stopped and came back hard and heavy. I kinda think I had a early miscarriage but I just tried to ignore it. Which is wierd cause I'm 34yrs and AF is no stranger to me. I have very reg cycles at 27 days. Have only been late when I was preg with 4yr old DD. but I guess I didn't want to think about it, wasn't anything I could do any way. ...So, I watched the calander and my CM and BD at the appropriate time (not really, I had to get up at 4:30 before DH went to work). Well, I didn't feel preg. that time. A friend and I took the kids trick or treating on Halloween and I told her I was ttc, that it was only the second month and I didn't think I was. Af was due that Sun. and didn't show, I took a test and BFN so I figured I'd try next month. My DH left for the week to hunt. The week went by, I started to get sore boobs ect. but didn't want to get to excited. I tested again that Sat. and got a BFP!! I wanted to intro myself here and my modom junked out so I couldn't connect. I was dieing! I want to suprise my DH cause he was comeing home Sun. night. So the only person I told was my Mom....I left the test and some pink and blue ballons and a note for the DH. He was sooooo happy! (he'll be 40 in Feb.and we just have one 4yr DD remember) When I woke up Mon I had some brown discharge, called the DR. yada yada. It stopped after 3 days. We decide not to tell anyone but my parents. (which we told everyone as soon as we found out about DD maybe cause I didn't have the net and didn't even concider that it wouldn't work out.) Anyway time went by we couldn't help but to think about names ect. we decide to tell his family on Thanksgiving. They only have 2 grandchildren our DD Eva and a 16yr old GS. Sun.Nov. 18 I woke up to bright red blood! called ER they said "nothing we can do" So, I had to choose If I was gonna ride it out at home or sit in the Er waiting room all day.So I stayed home. I had to tell my Mother in law what was going on. So, She'd take my DD to church with her.So she didn't have to be around me. Sweet Lil thing she asked me why I was crying and I said my belly hurt. she says " Oh, Mama. You lay down. I'll go get ya an apple."...she came back with a wet apple (she must have washed it) and said " we don't have any green ones" She must be confused and think that green apples help belly aches in stead of give you one. Ha Ha. ....I called my Dr. on Mon they had me go to Hosp. for Hcg test ect......So, that brings me here. If I count the miscarriage as the first day of AF I should have started Fri. but haven't yet. So now I decide do I try again?? Most of you girls do.Which helps me to be brave! Thats mostly why I've decided to post. To say THANK YOU!!!! on my behalf and from all the other lurkers out there! You have helped me so much!! It has been such a comfort not to feel alone.!! I don't want to talk to my friends about it cause I don't want them to feel uncomfortable. and I don't want to keep upsetting my DH who is dealing with it by pretending it never happend.....Well, That's my story, thanks for taking the time to read it.and THANK YOU again for the support even if you didn't know you where giving it!!

[chickymama]

Thank You All for the warm welcome!!! I look forward to getting to know all of you. I think I will try again after AF shows so I have a starting point.We have been careful since the miscarriage.I wanted to wait at least one cycle. Now I'm starting to get worried about the time of year. If I get preg. next cycle that would mean Sept-Oct due date which would be great, but much later in the year and the weather can get pretty ugly ( as I watch it snowing even more on top of the 9in we already got in 2 days).....Yep, I'm a worrier!!

[jnett]

You're in good company here.  Glad you joined & truly sorry for your loss.  I've had two miscarriages as well, and had one healthy boy in between (now 1 1/2 years).  Losing a pregnancy is so hard. Now I'm pregnant again, and this one appears to be sticking (15 weeks).

I would not have made it through the first worrisome trimester without this forum.  Best of luck with your next pregnancy!

[melimeli]

I m/c in aug 7  I didn't ov again until sept.. it threw it all off a little but I got pg on sept 9 before an af... so instead of oving 14 days after the m/c I oved a month after...  it hurts real bad to loose a baby but keep trying and stay here it helps!!!

[shesherm]

I am very sorry for your loss. Cycles can be a REAL MESS after a M/C took mine 6 weeks to get on track.  I just wanted to let you know we are thinking of you.  Good luck TTC  SSBD

[kellym]

So, the shadow has appeared :) Well, nice of you to join us. I've had 2 m/c also.  My last one was July 16th. I showed+ for Ovulation 14 days later and got AF exactly 14 days after that.  I like to think my body is efficient at something, hee, hee. Do you think you may be pregnant before your first AF???  Keep us Posted!
Kellie
17w4d

[pcarsey]

Howdy Lurker!...lol
Glad you came out from behind the window shade! A lot of us here have gone through what you have gone through, so we know and understand your pain. We feel for you sweetie! I think I can speak for everyone here by saying it is our pleasure to help out when we can. We may not always know what to say or how to help but always remember you have the support of these ladies here anytime you need it! We will be here when you cry, when you need to vent, when you need advice, or just a ear to talk to!

I am sorry you are going through this, I too have had a couple miscarriages myself and at times found it hard to tell people about it because then you get mixed emotions. Why didn't you tell me, or I can't believe you didn't tell me, or the classic you poor thing. Or as some of us have heard, Oh gosh, I KNOW EXACTLY what you are going through when some don't have a clue what it feels like to lose a baby, even though you weren't pregnant very long, doesn't mean you didn't want it and grow attached to it just the same! As soon as I found out I was pregnant every time I was in love! And even before getting pregnant I was in love with the idea of some lil baby being inside me.

I'm sorry this is long, just wanted to welcome you and reassure you that if you can't ever find anyone to talk to, you always have us.

Welcome!
Patty

[40smama]

I'm so sorry for your m/c.  I've gone through it twice and it was so sad.  I don't know if you can count the m/c as the 1st of af because sometimes it takes a while to start after having one (m/c).  I'm glad that you've gotten the support you've needed.  Please keep us updated on your ttc journey - jennifer