Pregnant at 39

[Reeeenz]

My fourth child. My youngest is 16. After getting over the initial shock of finding out I'm pregnant, I have come to embrace this gift. Furthermore, I have decided to do this solo. It just feels right and I can deal with the challenges that come with that decision.

Why does society still frown upon single middle-aged mothers?

[fathertofour]

At any age society can label and push perceptions onto any Mother for a whole variety of reasons and situations. My advice is remember that those that criticise, will have to live with themselves and the guilt of saying negative things. Also as the saying goes "Karma is always returning ill favours!" So you should not ever concern yourself with the cynical views of others and society, but concentrate on how beautiful the gift of life is and it has been bestowed upon you, because you deserve it! In fact most cynicism stems from jealousy anyway, even if it is a subconscious thing on the part of the cynic. I was raised by a single Mother and I must say I am extremely proud of that and her. So you block your ears to the negativity and focus on enjoying this wonderful time in your life:)

[Jonesy2015]

I'm doing this solo again for the 2nd time. The first time I was in a relationship where he didn't want to work and spend all my money and then got made when I told him to more beer and cigarettes until he found a job and could pay for it himself so I kicked him out and this time around by what he said he wanted us to be together the rest of his life and be a family together with our kids and when I ended up pregnant I was told I could kill it or get out. I chose the baby and it has been the best choice so far. He will help pay for this child though. Ignore society because they pick and choose what is ok and what is not.

[Birthdaypresent]

Solo here at 41! I'm trying to figure out what to tell her about her father when she's old enough. He thinks I miscarried. But he made it very clear he didn't want anything to do with the baby.

[Van818]

I think society frowns upon women and choices we make around birth and child rearing regardless of our situation: We can't have a child too young or too old as it's not healthy for mother or baby; if we're single or in a complicated relationship there's comment or critisism; we can't have too many children as that's irresponsible; if we don't want to have children there is something wrong with us; if we work too much we're criticised for not spending time with the children and if we stay at home we should really be out working or our careers / independence / financial security will suffer. And if we have to make the awful decision to terminate, then we're evil. Our society is very tough on women. Feminism is making changes but not quickly enough. Be thankful that we're a lot better off than women in many parts of the world today where oppression is standard, accepted behaviour.

[LilTonyF]

Because society labels is like we're handicap! I'm a single mom..luckily my first daughters father is a great dad and she has a good stepmother too. I was lucky to be financially secure when I had her at 26 and now I'm having a boy a 36. I'm still in the same financial situation and this little man will have a great male role model as well. You'll be fine..I promise that. Just put your children first and build a sound foundation. Good luck and may God continue to bless you!!

[Ramona36]

I am 37 and doing it solo... I also have a 13 year old daughter...

[Ange_G]

Also solo at 39. I have a 3 year old as well.

[trixie04]

Hello,

Congrats!  Don't feel bad for doing this alone.  Although with my first three, the dad was there when they were babies but turned out to be a horrible father.  I raised my now 17-year-old by myself since she was 1 and I'm so proud of her.  Sometimes, you have to choose between a bad relationship or a lack of one.  I chose to be alone and I think my daughter was better off for it.  (I know this because her dad has had some contact and is so horrible to her that she had to have counseling, medication, etc.)  You know what's best.  Good luck.

[brightstart]

My youngest is 10 and I'm doing it alone not by choice of course but I just can't bring myself to get an abortion