So it looks like I will be getting 2 more little ones!

[Juliaschill]

Some quick background, I had 3 girls with my first DH,Then adopted 3 boys through foster care with my 2nd husband, They are all special needs, we were told we could not have children of our own so we planned to have me at home with the boys while my DH worked. Well as you know I am 28 w along with our baby boy (guess Docs don't know everthing LOL) So we have been planning on how I will handle the new baby along with our boys (only one daughter is still at home she is 16) anyway we have a large family and they are all planning on helpng out.  Over a year ago the birth mother of the first boys we adopted lost her 2 children in SC, because we had work with the family and we have the siblings the court asked us to do an interstate home study in case the children could not go back home with mom, We talked to our family and they all agreed to help with these two also, they all know these kids because I have had to take them in the past when the birth mom ran into trouble when she lived in NY< she even named her little girl after me( not much fun when I was at the time trying to have my own with no luck) anyway everyone is all for the kids comming, I am scared to death, of course I love them and my home and heart are big enough for them my problem is How will i fit them in time wise, with the 3 special needs boys and a new baby, they are do to arrive the week after my c-section I know that to not take them would be wrong they are my boys half siblings and I already love them she is 5 and he is 3, but what kind of mom can I be to any of these children with so little time to give them each!! I am asking for any advice with time mangagment or prayers to keep me saine or maybe even a shoulder to cry on, I know you ladies have an in wiht God luck at all the miricules that have already happend on this site, and feel free to tell me that I am just plain crazy!! thanks Julia

[piggy2]

I pray you win the lotto.  God bless you and remember love is something we never run out of.  (unlike the money!)  haha.

[SoCalTricia]

Well, I'm not part of a Dr. Laura backlash...I always thought she was a jerk! LOL. I think what really turned me off was YEARS ago someone gave me one of her books...something like "Ten Things Women Do To Screw Up Their Lives" or something like that. And I thought it was SO anti-woman, and so intolerant, it was ridiculous. Since then, I dismiss anything she has to say. I'm sure she has some good advice occasionally...I mean, even lab rats get the right response sometimes. Ha ha. (Kidding.)

Anyway...I have to say that I understand what you're saying about the responsibility to the children you already have. HOWEVER, I also know that these other two children probably stand a BETTER chance in Julia's household than in foster care. And, children are amazingly adaptable - her other children will be fine. Octomom is a horrible example...she's clearly a self-centered idiot. If you want to look at big families, I'd prefer to look at the Dugars. A lot of people don't like them, but no one can say that those kids don't seem to be happy and healthy.

Tricia

[melimeli]

Well sounds like you are ready for the journey and that is half the battle.. good luck!!!  I send you my best wishes!!

[adgal]

You truly are incredible.  You know what, I have full belief that you will pull this off, and those kids will all grow up well adjusted and happy....and most importantly, loved.  I am amazed by your strength of character and just how good a person you are.  I have said this to you before, and I will say it again...you are truly a special person.  As for the extra prayers, you can count on it my friend.  

[Juliaschill]

Well I have no idea who Dr Laura is ,never even heard of her, I agree that 2 more will be hard, but not as hard as letting the stay in foster care, do you know the odds of a 5.and 3 year old being adopted??they are very slim. If I thought they had a good home that would be different, but right now they are in a group home for children and have been for 9 months, I think what we have decided to do is hire a nanny to help help out in the mornings and the afternoons, my DH gets home at 3:30 so we should be able to do this, If I was carrying 3 in my belly instead of one I would not give 2 of them away so I will not chose to let these 2 little ones bounce around the foster care system, How could I look at my two boys and later on tell them I wanted them but not their siblings, and like I said these kids have lived with me on and off for the last 3 years so it is not like I have not had to take care of that many before, So I may get stressed but, I know enough to ask for help and will do so when I need it. My kids are alway put first and formost in my llife so If I didn't think I could make it work I would not even try it. My mom and sister and Aunt, and my best friend are all make time each week to help, in the end I think we will be one big happy family!!! With God and Love all things are possible!! I truely think that so if I trust in Him and my family we will be ok. I know it won't be easy but well worth it, thanks for your advice and tips and a few extra prayers sent my way in about 10 weeks wouldn't hurt eighter. LOL

[melimeli]

it is ok if you think that but she has some really great advice about family and how our first responsibility is to the children we currently have.  I really like Dr laura.  I don't agree with everything she says but she has some great advice.. like all you take the good with the bad and apply what works and through out the rest.. I really just think that just like the octomom was selfish to take on 8 more when she had children at home that needed her attention.. sometimes we as women have a hard time saying no but really her 3 high needs kids and a newborn require so much attention that it would almost be unfair to them to bring in two more that will require so much of her...  

I know there is a huge dr. laura backlash...  it is ok with me, but I think if you listen with an open mind you can get some good advice....

[SoCalTricia]

I just have to say it...why in the WORLD would you advise her to call Dr. Laura? Seriously????

To each their own, but I can't stand the woman and would probably do exactly OPPOSITE of what she advised me. LOL.

Tricia

[melimeli]

ummm I posted a long post to reply to this and about... 1 or 2 hours later it was deleted.. I know it posted because I reread it after the post...   weird.. but I did have some advice for you to rethink if you are doing the best thing for everyone.. your first priority is to the children you currently have and the 2 new ones would probably be better off with someone that can dedicate themselves 100% to their needs since they probably have some issues that their current "mommy" gave to them...

I know you are trying to do what is in your heart but sometimes we need to think rationally and really do what is in the best interest of our children...  

I also advised you to call dr. laura and ask her opinion...

it was a lot longer but at risk of having it deleted again I will leave it at that...

good luck with your decision

[adgal]

Julia, you really are incredible.  I admire you a great deal, you truly must have the biggest heart!  It takes a very special person to be able to take a special needs child, and to take 3 shows your commitment and dedication to children.  Time management is not something I can give advice on, and I do not have a big family, however, I have no doubt you will be able to do this.  Having support and help from your family is probably the key to this.  You can do it girl, I just know you can.  Bless you and your family!!  

[rdh1981]

I truly must commend you!!!! That is an amazing thing you are doing!!! You are a like an Angel on Earth!!!!!

Yes, I am sure it is going to be a little crazy at the very beginning but soon enough I am sure you will ease right into a routine.  These children need you and I am sure they will appreciate you and love you for all the good you have brought into their lives!!!!

Way to go girl!!!

Rachel

[Juliaschill]

Thanks for the comments LOL I am only doing what my heart tells me,  melimeli not sure what you meant about your long post?? I did not see it  Julia

[melimeli]

wow my long post got removed.. I was really just trying to be helpful

[usuk]

all i can say is i am impressed with you and your kids. and i wish i could help.

[have 2 kids]

Wow- you are doing an amazing thing!     Best of luck to you and your family

[tatorbug40]

Well...  no advise here,  but I admire you-  and I will pray for you and your family-  you are doing a great thing, and God will provide for you, financially and with time for all....  best of luck!