Subsaquent pregnancy after a loss

[Jules1210]

Hello,

Just a week ago, I gave birth to my stillborn twin daughters at 20 weeks pregnant.  Everything was fine until the ultrasound a day before their birth where the sonographer could find no heartbeat or bloodflow.  After a 9 hour labour, my babies were born vaginally on September 11th, 2007.  When they and the placenta were examined, it proved that our otherwise healthy baby girls had intertwined themselves in their cords after the membrane seperating them had collapsed.  There were 4 knots in the umbilical cords, they were born at the same time because they were so bound to one another.
I am dealing with this incredible loss the best I can.  But in the midst of my anguish, one question burns me.  Can I begin again as soon as possible?  My doctors have advised that I wait for one period cycle so that the body and uterus can heal and I can fully accept this advice and will do just that, however, perhaps my real question is are there any known difficulties in conceiving again after a loss?  I have no living children as these were my first.  Does having a baby(ies) early in pregnancy stop chances of conceiving naturally again?
Has anyone been in this situation and if so can you please tell me your story.  I would really appreciate it.

Julie

[RunningL8]

I am so very, very sorry for your losses.  I just wanted to say that many years ago, both my mom and my aunt each lost a child (the first for each one) due to a cord problem, and both went on to have other healthy children soon after.  God bless you!

[Chanin]

First, I want to tell you I'm very sorry for your loss of the twins. I can tell you I know how you feel. My husband and I lost our baby on Sept. 28th, 2007. Due to an amnio they required me to have because our baby had to have his bladder tap done (he was retaining urine because of a blockage), they went ahead and did the amnio while they were in there tapping his bladder the same day. The procedure cause me to go into pre-term labor three days later. I had him vaginally as well, and he lived for 5 hours and 15 minutes. It's so hard to look at your children once born, and see them so tiny and know that they aren't going to make it or that they didn't for some reason. I can tell you, I've had great peace knowing that God knew what was going on, it may have had problems, who knows, but I can tell you I know God knew our children the very second they were formed in our wombs (read Pslam 139:13-16) that is so powerful! There lives were meant to be even if they didn't live long. I know you and I along with all those who have lost children, will see them again in heaven; this is a promise! It gives me great peace to know my baby and your babies are there with God in PERFECT condition, and in the best place they could be. I've been feeling the same as you have-I'm ready to try again! It's been a month since our baby left to be with the Lord, and we are having faith that we will get pregnant again with more children. I know they tell you to wait 4-6 weeks for your body to heal, and some say a cycle or two. All I know is I haven't started yet, and I feel fine, so we are trying again. My heart goes out to you for your twin girls, and I will pray for you for the same peace and comfort I pray for myself. Just know that those little ones are going to see you again, what a great day that will be! And you WILL have a good pregnancy to come! Our baby Xan was our first too, so hang in there, it will happen....God's promise is to give us the desires of our hearts! I look forward to hearing your "good" news and sharing mine with you as well! Take care of yourself and keep your faith strong! =) Having a baby too early will never keep you from having more children, most women get pregnant again soon after. You will be just fine!

[Jules1210]

Thanks so much for your support.  And good luck on trying to conceive.  

Julie xx

[CWhitby]

So sorry to hear of your loss.  I was 20weeks, 5 days when my first pregnacy was terminated Feb 2007.  My husband and I have ben trying to conceive since.  For me personally it was hard physically on me for example waking up at night with hot flashes.  And the emotional loss.  I then had my period for 2 months and then did not have a cycle for 8 weeks leading me to believe I was pregnant.  Now my cycles are back on track but I'm not sure I am ovulating.  I am going for blood work next week and am trying not to stress my husband and I over trying to conceive.  We conceived so quickly the first time and I've heard stories similar to pcarsey who have suffered a pregnancy loss and then gone on to successfully conceive.  I am praying for the both of us that we will soon be able to share similar stories.

Forums like this give you comfort in knowing you are not alone.  We are here to support each other.
Give yourself time to mourn and heal.

[Renogirl]

Your day WILL come - it will happen and you have to make sure you have your body as healthy as possible for your little one!  So go out and buy some more - believe me - that was so hard to continue taking them knowing they were only being used by me - but try as best as you can to focus on your future little one!  We're here for ya!

Rebecka

[Jules1210]

Hi Sheila and Rebecka,

If I could reach out and hug you I would.  Thanks so much for your inspiration.  Reading your words makes me feel a bit better - if only for a little while.  I threw my pregnancy vitamins in the bin .. I was just thinking last night that I should buy some more to get my body ready again - I think I'll go out and do that today.
Congratulations to you both on subsaquent pregnancies.  I'm really genuinelly happy for you both.  I know my day will come - I just have to hold on to hope and be strong.
Good luck with everything xx

Hugs,

Julie xx

[shesherm]

Julie, i am so sorry for your losses I can not imagine how difficult this time must be.  I am with Reno, my DR gave me the go ahead on our next cycle...unfortunatley it took another 8 months..I think if you are emotionally ready go for it.  It gives you something to look forward to.  You are in my thoughts and prayers  ((Sheila))

[Renogirl]

Julie - I hope you can feel the love and prayers that are coming your way - I am so sorry for the loss of your babies.  I miscarried in April, one baby, a boy - and our RE said it was fine to start trying again on the next cycle - the thought of trying again was really what helped me get through everything - every doctor is different though - if your doctor advises waiting one cycle - take the time for you and your husband to heal and recover and be healthy - keep taking your prenatal vitamins (that's a really hard thing to do when there seems to be no reason) and keep looking forward towards your goal of holding your own baby in your arms.  We are currently seventeen weeks (tomorrow) and trying to think positively that all will go well this time!  You'll be in my thoughts and prayers hon!

Rebecka

[Jules1210]

Hi Patty,

Thank you SO much for your reply.  You have made me feel a little better Im so grateful xx - I think  you are right about the healing side of things too.  I would love to try again right away but I feel that my emotions are so high at the moment that its to fill empty arms.  Wow, what a pain.  Labour has NOTHING on this kind of pain.  Instead of reading my book on Mothering Twins, Im reading books on how to deal with greif  =(
Congratulations on your pregnancy.  I do hope that everything goes smoothly for you and your little one.  You'll be in my prayers.
And again, thanks for your kind words.  Thanks so much for the hope.

Julie xx

[pcarsey]

I am very sorry for your loss! I can say I can only try to imagine what you must be going through at this time. It breaks my heart and know that I am thinking of you. I know a woman who had the same thing happen to her only it was twin boys and she got pregnant right away to have another set of healthy twin boys at full term. And although I wasn't as far along as you were and I had to have surgery to remove it, I too lost a baby in May, but it was due to a ruptured cyst. And I am currently pregnant again. So yes it is possible, it looks as if it was just a cord accident, which could happen at any time, and there is nothing you did or didn't do, could or couldn't do to prevent such a thing. I would wait until your body heals and then by all means try again. You can have another baby... AND you WILL.. and it will be very beautiful and very healthy!! Good luck to you!
~Patty