What to do with extra embies??

[piggy2]

Hello all, just wanted to get some feedback on those of you who had IVF and it was sucessful, what did you end up doing with (if you had them) your embryos that may have been left over?

  We had a sucessful IVF that resulted with twins and have some in cryo, but I am 40 and do not think I will have IVF again.  I don't know about donation.  I doubt they would use them as my husband and I were both 39 when we made them...

I thought this would be an easy decision, but I can't seem to reach a decision......

[piggy2]

I never thought of having them implanted off cycle.  That is really interesting.  yes, maybe we will keep them for at least a year and then I will decide....

This is a really personal decision, but I am glad I asked !!!  thanks

[Melka76]

I am looking at the same decision - I am 34 weeks with my third child - husbands first - but this pregnancy has been extremly difficult - emotionally stressful and more uncomfortable than my previous two... so at this point I am ready to say no more.. but we have 4 embryos in cryo - however our renewal period is September and it is $1000 for the year.... so I am not sure what we are going to do - we did complete the paperwork for no to donation or scientific research - and that we would either discard or continue until we were ready again.
I have thought of a few other options - one, my FIL has a form of lukemia that I have offered him either the stem cells from my cord blood at delivery or the use of the embyes for a stem cell transplant - we are waiting for his drs to respond to this... another option is to have them implanted off cycle -knowing they would not take and that way they would be absorbed in my body and it seems like the most natural/acceptable way for me to ensure they are in their proper place...
My thoughts are that I will freeze them one year and decide.... I am pretty sure if I am not going to try to have another that I will request them to be implanted... Maybe that is another option for you.. Good Luck!

[AnnieBrooke]

I agree with MissingLink that keeping them until you get to the last possible age where you might be able to use them is a good idea.  The future is unknown, and you are nowhere near the top age when an RE would be willing to have you as a patient.  

[MissingLink]

If this pregnancy goes to completion then we will face the same choice in a few years time. We were over 35 when we made them, so will be unable to donate here in Australia.

We will keep them until they are either used or I go through menopause. we have no idea which choice we will make after that. I am pro-research... without it, we wouldn't be at this exciting point in our lives. Hubby doesn't like either and isn't ready to choose. It will cost us $200 per year to keep them, so we can easily afford to take our time with the decision.

Congrats on your double blessing!

[piggy2]

Absolutely. Itt just seems like I need to just take some extra time and decide what I want. Thank you for your response! Your right, it is not an easy decision especially when it took so long and so hard to get where we are...

[AnnieBrooke]

Congrats on your twins!!!

When we did IVF, we had to fill out piles of forms in advance about what would happen to the embies if we died, divorced, or had extras.  (Sadly, we used up all our embryos before we got the kids we were trying for, so extras didn't happen.)  If you filled out a bunch of papers, you might just review them to be sure nothing is already in place.

One of the ladies on this site often writes about being the recipient of donated embryos, and how significant it was for her.  If you put "donated embryos" or "embryo donation" into the search line above, her posts will probably come up, and I think in some of them she mentions the name of the agency.   You could possibly contact them and find out if they have an age limit.  Your own agency might also have a program for this.

The other options given to us besides donation to another couple were to discard them, or to donate them for scientific research.  

I think it is a really tough decision.  Each has its emotional negatives, not that these are even true but they are knee-jerk reactions for some people.  For some people, discarding them feels like "discarding life," and that is absolutely out of the question.  Scientific research?  For some people the mind leaps to science-fiction horror scenarios -- in order to let them go for that option, the person has to trust that the research will use them as the 8 cells or 16 cells they are now, for example, to start a stem-cell line, rather than letting them grow further toward any definition as a human being.  There are also religious objections to both of the two options I just mentioned.  Donation?  Then the idea leaps to mind that some genetic match to one's child is going to be out there, being raised by someone else.  (My sister-in-law talked her daughter out of being an egg donor with that argument:  "Would you want your child to be out there being raised by someone else?")  

All of these are not, as I said, the kinds of arguments that hold up entirely well logically.  But we're not just logical beings, we are emotional beings too.  I think each couple facing this choice has to make the choice that suits them best emotionally.  And even if the reasons for making it seem kind of arbitrary and maybe it would be hard to defend the choice rationally, it is easier to live with the decision your heart makes than it is to live with one that the heart resists.

Good luck!