anxious for sono

[olderMom38]

My first appt is tom and i will be 9wks on fri. The Dr's office said they will only be confirming that i'm pregnant. I think that's crazy, what a waist of time and money. My co-pay is $50 and it isn't easy getting off of work. I really thought by now that wld do more than confirm that i'm pregnant. When should i expect my next appt?

[olderMom38]

I would also like to say that my mom wasn't too happy when i told her that we wld abort if anything was wrong with it. It was prob too early to talk to her about that but the topic came up and i told her we were high risk for miscarriages. I would think she of all people wld understand. You see, my mom's youngest brother (last of 12) was born mentally handicapped and he was made fun of all his life. Then when my Grandmother died, no one but my mom wld step up and offer to take care of him. I was so ashamed of my family and don't speak to most of them to this day. My mom had medical probs and still took care of him for as long as she cld. I lived w/her for a little while w/my daughter and helped take care of him, too. He had some bad injuries that wldn't heal and we wld have to help him to the bathroom or change his diaper. He had to use a walker when he had the strength. Later my aunt decided to take him from my mother and put him into a home for other people like him. Now he's too far to visit often as we wld like and she barely visits him. Life has been so hard for him. This is why my feelings are so strong about not bringing a life into this world w/those kinds of issues. Thank you all for not judging me for it. Its a very tough decision for both of us.

[olderMom38]

The sono is tom..we're super excited. We told our family Sat..it went much better than we expected. I used the "picture" idea and used the "sports continuous" mode so when i told them "Everyone say Melissa's pregnant" i caught everyone's reaction for 5-10 secs. It was great. My mom has her mouth wide open w/shock. Once it sank in she was actually very cool about it. My DD didn't say much then, but is talking alot about it now. That makes me happy. I now get to talk to her about everything which is really great. She's 6 1/2. There was one person at the cook-out that was rude. My mom's best friend, who was orig my friend and i introduced them. She said, "Well I'm not Congratulating You!!" I was speechless. Everyone just looked at me waiting to see what i wld say. My DH and i had to go for a walk to calm down about it. My mom called me yest.and Congratulated us again and apologized for not being excited at the party..and i told her she was great, but her friend hurt my feelings. The friend has cancer and is going thru the "angry" phase. Has a scheduled Mastectomy this week, so i will forgive her and pray for her. Hope all of you are doing well.

[pertykitty]

Not judging but not everything means a child has to deal with a hard life. Down syndrome us one if those chances you don't know how they will progress, but as a mom to a yr old girl with. DS I can sayshes perfect in everyway! Good luck.

[powerful5]

I totally agree with adgal, its your right and its legal.  You have to do what is best for you and your family. And no one has the right to past judgement on you.

Keep me posted on your sono.  If i dont chat with you here, i will chat with you in feb 2012 forum.

[olderMom38]

Thank you so much for everything you said. I always read about people who say they wld never abort. I wouldn't unless i was raped or something was wrong w/it. But like you said, its def.a personal decision and it will be a hard one if we have to make it. I will def let you know how the sono goes. Have a good weekend!!!

[adgal]

First off, you are not awful.  Whether or not to terminate a pregnancy is a highly personal decision and one only you and your husband can make.  Do not concern yourself with others feelings on the matter.  It's legal and it's your right.  No one has the right to judge you.

I did not have CVS, I did however have amnio.  I can tell you that the worry about the test was 100 times worse then the test itself.  The nice thing about CVS is that it is performed earlier, giving you more time to make any decisions you may choose to make.  I believe it's done at around 13 weeks.  The official rate of complication with CVS is (if memory serves me) about 1 in 100.  That being said, with a experienced Dr., it is typically far lower.  I have met many women on these boards who have chosen CVS and have only once met someone who had complications as a result. It can however happen, so I would suggest having a good meeting with the Dr. performing it, and ask questions...I really interviewed the Dr. who did my amnio, and proceeded only when I felt comfortable.  The majority of women have told me it was not really painful, just a bit uncomfortable for a very short period of time.  A bit of pinching and cramping type discomfort.

I am glad your having a sono next week.  Can't wait to hear about it!!

[olderMom38]

We went to our appt yesterday. They only did a urine test and told us we were def preg., lol. Like i said, a waist of $50 and our time off of work. But the Dr. did order a sono for Tues 7/5, both of us will have to leave work early again, but we're happy we don't have to wait a long time. I have to have the baby interview w/the nurse after that. I don't remember doing that before. She also asked us our feelings on the testing..we told her we wld like to skip to the amnio. Since we both have agreed to abort if anything is wrong, then she suggested the CVS. Has anyone had this done? I know some of you think we are awful people for our decision, but life is too hard when your healthy..i don't want to bring someone into this world and have it harder for them as soon as they enter this world.
    I got to finally tell someone that we are preg, too...My sister. She cried. Now she has to keep the secret til Sat-our cookout at mom's. :) We've had that secret for 5 weeks..shew!!!

[olderMom38]

Thank you ladies for responding. I called the Dr office yesterday to ask if they wld do an ultr. and she said not unless the Dr req's it. That i'm just sched for a confirmation test. That's crazy to me. I have a fertility Dr (who funny enough, i wasn't seeing to get preg..he does my endo.surgeries.) who's nurse said if i wasn't happy w/my appt that she wld ask the Dr to see me on Sat. But they are a little over an hr down the road and it wld cost me another $50 copay. I just got married two weeks ago and money is tight. This appt will def be a waist if they don't do more than test me. I'm hoping the receptionist doesn't know what she's talking about and hopefully due to our ages, they'll do more. Will let you guys know..appt at 4:15 today!!

[adgal]

I find it a bit unusual they aren't doing an ultrasound as well.  My OB likes to do a viability ultrasound at 8 weeks.  It helps date the pregnancy, and checks for a heartbeat.  Perhaps that is what they mean when they say confirming the pregnancy?  Odd.

I think every Dr. is a bit different, but mine saw me monthly until I got to third trimester when we switched to weekly (if I remember correctly).  I had an ultrasound at 6 1/2 weeks (I got pregnant right after a miscarriage, so we weren't sure how far along I was), 9 weeks, 13 weeks, 20 weeks for sure.  I had a few later on, but can't remember the exact timing.

Good luck, and I would request an ultrasound.

[AnnieBrooke]

If you're 38, ask to be referred to a high-risk ob-gyn.  They'll probably take better care of you.

[Birds71]

First off, congrats to you!  

At 9 weeks wouldn't they do an U/S??  Do you mean that they will only be doing a blood test?