I am 40, NOT trying to have a baby but found that I am pregnant. Its going to be ok, but I have a lot of questions.
* is there a place on this forum (or another) that I can get support instead of people insulting me for having a BFP when I was not trying to conceive?
*What risks are there for me at my age?
*Should I be concerned about multiples (twins, etc)
*I had faint lines at 20dpo (or 4 days late when af should have arrived) Is this normal?
* Is it ok to lose weight? I am over weight but do have other children and tend to not gain or even lose some due to changing eating habbits. Are there any risks to this (Sorry its been a while since I have been pregnant)
*at what point will I know the pregnancy is ok, and I am not at risk for miscarriage?
not sure who has been insulting, but i haven't seen any of that yet on these boards...
risks at your age are mostly due to chromosomal problems so you are at higher isk for downs and other chromosome related diseases.
talk to your doctor about doing a CVS or the first trimester screen to help detect these early if your baby has one.
twins are a higher risk as we age, but i would expect darker lines rather than fainter lines with multipes.
they will look for this at your first ultrasound regardless.
i don't think it is a good idea to diet per se, but it is ok to exercise moderately and eat healthy so you only gain pregnancy weight. be sure to not over restrict your calories, especially as you get into the second half of your pregnancy
your risk for miscarriage goes down after 12 weeks, but it never goes away entirely. so you'll get to worry with the rest of us on that one.
welcome and good luck with your pregnancy!
36 and 22 weeks pregnant with #1
Thank you Jenna. This is my 9th pregnancy and I have seven living children. No multiples. I was done having children but due to high blood pressure had to get off b.c. It was not a good choice for me. I did my best with calendar type method but I guess not good enough. No, it was not this board it was a TTC group on another website all together, which is probably my fault for asking on group of people wanting to conceive when I was really not trying at all. (I also know I face peers and family members opinions so that makes me on the guard so-to-speak).
Ok well thank you for your reply and these answers. If you have any thoughts on a fainter line suggesting a chemical pregnancy I'd appreciate it...I have had one of those (I think) I miscarried at 4 months along but the baby was not really developed--my body grew the tissue, I guess. Sorry if TMI. That was many years ago though.
i'd go ahead and get an appointment with you ob/midwife and get an ultrasound around 6 weeks pregnant to get an idea of development.
a chemical pregnancy is technically when the development stops prior to a heart beat being detected (which is usually seen on US between 6-8 weeks of pregnancy)
miscarriage any later than that.
most are due to chromosome problems prior to 12 weeks, especially with your history of live births which makes implantation issues less likely.
only time will tell if this pregnancy will result in another baby
i hope whatever outcome you really want is the one you get.
Welcome to the site. I just wanted to comment on the faint line. I got my BFP in March but unfortunately miscarried in May. I tested 4 times with the pink die tests. Sometimes the dies were darker and some were lighter. I was concerned about this at first so I looked into it. The answer was that you can't go by the lightness because each batch can contain different amount of die, even in the same box. It should just be the test. As long as it is a clear positive line, it should be fine. I got worried because the last test was lighter than the rest but at that point, the baby was going strong so it wasn't any indications. Hope that helps.
Thanks so much friends. I am not sure how to feel but either way I am sure I'll get by. I don't want to let others views rob me of enjoying a baby...nor my own views for that matter.
The faint lines...that is very ineresting. I will for sure be seeing my dr on Monday. I have already made an appointment. I'll am still having some cramping, but never any spotting. Thanks for your thoughts!
Hi, welcome and congratulations!
Your OB will probably suggest this, but definitely get two quantitative HCG blood tests done 48 hours apart to make sure your numbers are increasing as they should. Ask them to check your progesterone too, as that can sometimes be an issue with us "older" mamas but is easily corrected if caught early.
Make sure you're taking prenatal vitamins- especially folic acid, which is important for the baby to get right away while the neural tube is forming. I always lose a few pounds during the first trimester due to food aversions/morning sickness, but I've heard that the baby will take what it needs from you, and a prenatal (or two children's vitamins plus extra folic acid if you can't stomach a regular prenatals) will fill in the gaps until your appetite returns.
Read up on the Nuchal Translucency Test, which is a good early way to screen for major chromosomal issues- or you could go right to CVS if you're comfortable with that and want definite answers. One thing I encountered during my current pregnancy (at 42) is that the blood test screenings are skewed due to age, so they can be unnecessarily alarming.
I think the other ladies have answered all your questions but I wanted to say congrats!!!! Your faint positive could be from testing during the day and not enough HGC built up. Test again in the AM with first morning urine and it should be darker. Have you made a doctors appointment yet??? I hope the next 8 months or so fly by and are uneventful!!!
Thanks for the congrats...though I am not too happy about the results. I am already judged for having seven and worry about the fall out once family and peers find out. But thank you--I know that babies are to be celebrated. I am going to try really hard.
I did use first morning urine though on one test. It has the darker pink line, though I did collect the urine and take the test three hours later without refrigeration. The second test I took with mid-day urine without saving it for any length of time. It had a more fainter line.
My big concern is that so far,I am mimmicking a pregnancy I had many years back that resulted in miscarriage. I had a huge pain around 8 dpo on one side. did this time too. So bad both times that I nearly went to the ER both times. But the pain faded before I could make a decision. It was like ovarian of the worse kind. Maybe a late cyst bursing? But odd that I miscarried the last time this happened and now i have the same pain, same pattern really (very different from my other pregnancies), plus faint lines at 20 dpo and 4 days past period due date. I am so torn about everything but want to avoid the outcome of every possiblity (miscarriage, or telling people I am pregnant). Down in the dumps, for sure. and pretty worried about going through another miscarriage.
Welcome to the sight. Sorry that this news has been hard for you and that you have the added stress of worrying about a miscarriage. I know that it is hard to ignore others' opinions but try your best not to. All that matters is what you and your family want. Things have an amazing way of working out even if it does not seem so at the time. Also, don't feel guilty about not being too happy - it sounds like this came as a big surprise and it will take some time to adjust to. It also sounds like you have lots of love to share with this little one if all turns out well and once you have adjusted.
I am 40 and am expecting my first in a few weeks. I did the CVS test, so if you any questions about that one, feel free to ask. Everyone else gave you great advice. Good luck and keep us posted.
Hi there, I'm very glad to hear things are getting better for you. I am actually a new member on this sight and finding it and this forum was reallly God helping me in his mysterious ways. I am 39 and just found out Tuesday that I am pregnant. I also posted a question on here having a bunch of very mixed emotions and needed to reach out for some helpful advice and input. Since joining only 24hrs ago, I have already made a true connection with the wonderful women on here and embraced their advice. I'm engaged and have two beautiful Daughter's 18 and 11 and my Fiance has a son 14. We are both in a state of shock still because this was not planned and never dreamed seeing myself pregnant at 39. But, like a wise person on here told me, "Your not too old, you wouldn't of got pregnant in the first place if you were too old, its a miracle and a blessing God has given you both." And that truly sunk in, and she is right. Yes, i'm scarred right now, and my mind keeps telling, what if you miscarry, what if the baby has downs syndrom, what if you have a horrilbe pregnancy, what if you get put on bedrest, what if...what if..what if. But, I believe God gave us this special gift for a reason. And i'm putting my faith in his hands. We have decided to wait awhile and drop the news in a couple months. And yes , i'm prepared just like you, for some negative and critical remarks from some, but the people who truly love me and care about me will be very happy for us. If anyone makes a "your too old remark" just say, "hmmm, must not be, i'm still as fertile as a 20 year old in the Tennessee Valley!!!" that'll shut'em up!...lol. I too would like to know some more information about the CVS test. is that done through bloodwork? And i also had a very faint pink line, didn't really think much of that. Theres gonna be a lot of emotional ups and downs in this adventure over the next 9 months. Try to keep the faith, and I will do the same...we will go through this together. Take care, I wish you the best! :)
I am so glad you are all doing well. It truly is a blessing, and although I can understand the shock if unplanned, I bet as time goes on you will be truly excited!
CVS is a test done to look for chromosonal abnormalities such as Trisonomy 18, 21, etc. It is done by testing some of the tissue at around 13 weeks gestation. It is fairly accurate. I did not have it done, I opted for amnio, but it essentially looks for the same things. Amnio is done a bit later, I had it at around 16 weeks if I remember correctly. Both come with a certain degree of risk. In some cases both tests have been known to cause miscarriage. I believe the risk associated with CVS is slightly higher then it is with amnio. Your Dr. can give you more information, and help you decide which, if either are the better choice for you. I cannot tell you what CVS was like from a discomfort level, but would be more then happy to answer any questions you have on my experience with amnio.
Good luck to you both, and I am glad you are finding our community helpful and a comfort. It sure got me through some rough patches!! Amanda
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