stress,depression, and meds

[tschock]

We just went through the most horrific experience ever.
Hubby stopped breathing a few nights ago, and I watched him die in our driveway. It took 20 minutes for 911 to respond...after they put me on hold 4 times,hung up on me twice, and then the ambulance took a wrong turn, etc.
As you can all well imagine it was a terrifying thing to watch/experience.
The story does have a happy ending however...after telling us that he wasn't going to make it etc...he was finally able to breathe on his own and is now at home.
It turned out that he is severly allergic to snow mold ( which I had figured in the first place as he gets very sick at the same time as I do every spring and fall).
They let him out of hospital yesterday and he has a dozen different inhalers and pills to take.
One of these pills is Levofloxacin . I have read some pretty nasty stuff about this medication...esp concerning fetus', small children, etc.
My obvious question is: can this, or any of these meds pass between us either through kissing , sex ,etc?
I know that he kissed me once when he was on a sulfur based drug and it almost killed me as I'm highly allergic. My tongue had started to swell/crack/bleed within minutes of kissing...so now I'm worried about this drug.
I was already severly stressed out...being pregnant, trying to quit smoking,and then this happens.
When we were in the hospital his brother kept telling me that he wanted this item and that item...his brother was in ICU and NOT in the ground!! I just looked at him and told him that because hubby hadn't written a will yet that he wouldn't be getting a single thing. Then his brother and his brother's wife started yelling at me and telling me to have an abortion!!! They said it wasn't fair?!?!?!  What isn't fair? That I should give birth to another baby that was made in LOVE, TRUE LOVE??  These people are *&^$%^$%^$%^'S They don't know what true love is.
None of his family seemed distraught, and said that I over reacted (!!???!!!) like what the heck???? I was scared that the man I love and the father of my babies was never coming home again because I saw him die...not ONE of his family members cried or even seemed upset. I apologized to those idiots last night for "over reacting and calling 911" to try and save his life.
They "didn't get it".
  I'm now suffering from horrible nightmares, etc. If he's out of my sight I panic. When he coughs I think he's gonna drop dead. His family (esp his mom) just doesn't get it. She thinks I'm some sort of fruit cake. I asked her if she remembers anything at all about being pregnant...the emo issues and such...she says she never went through ANY of that...well lucky her. She doesn't believe in depression, or anything else that rotates around emotions in any way, shape, or form.
I hid in my basement for 11 hours yesterday as his family was roaming around in my house. I NEVER want to see any of these people again! I have trouble imagining he's related to any of them.
The stress is unbelievable...I try to tell myself that everything is going to be ok but...just way too scared...and it's only been a few days. I'm still trying to get over the deaths of my dad and niece over the past 4 months.
Ok...thanks for reading...had to let it out as I know it's not good for babe to keep it all in.
If any one knows about the drugs mentioned above and crossing over...would be nice to hear about.

[adgal]

Oh my gosh.  I am literally just home and scanning through posts.  I cannot believe that first you and your husband go through this and secondly to have such a horrific time with those that should be supporting you. I wish I had something incredible to say to make all of this easier, but you do have my support and all the positive thoughts I can send your way.  Plus, I am pretty sure I could be there in about 3 hours right?  Say the word and I'm on my way..seriously.  

I wish your hubby a speedy and full recovery and you some peace of mind and peace.   And good luck on the smoking.  I sure remember how hard that is to do.  I still cheat sometimes.  But you are strong and I know you will do it.  

I am sending you a huge cyber hug sweets.  I cannot even begin to imagine what this has been like for you.  XOXO

[ChristineMP]

Try strong cinnamon gum when you have the urge to smoke...it helped me when I quit. DH is quitting now...and it seems to help him also.

Hang in there, you can do it!

[tschock]

Thank you all so much. I told hubby everything. He doesn't remember a single thing from that night except trying to catch his breath and banging his head against the wall hoping that it would all be over soon and he would start breathing.
He had no idea that his game was over for a period of time, and no idea of how lucky he really is to be here. We've all tried telling him, but it hasn't sunk in yet.
I told him all that was said and he agrees that his SIL is no longer welcome here. We talked about it, and because of them wanting (demanding) that I have an abortion, we have decided that they will NOT be notified when baby comes, not will they be allowed to see the new baby. I'm starting to hope for a girl now (after 4 boys) simply because no one else has had a girl and I know it would drive them, (esp his SIL) over the edge. lol

I don't have an ob/gyn yet...my family doc was sending a request to one a few weeks back, but so far no word.
The clinic is closed today, but I'm going to call tomorrow to ask what is taking so long.
I'm almost 44 and should be seen soon...almost 8 weeks now...would love to have an ultrasound to make sure everything is ok...have been having severe back pain for 3 days now...hurts to breathe...no other signs leading me to believe it's kidney related...but at the same time no bleeding either...so being positive that it's not another miscarriage.
Congratz to mol ! My second oldest turned 19 on that day! lol
I love you guys and this site...always a warm word...no stress.
As for the smoking...I'm having my last one today. Hopefully!
Reading Allen Carr's easy way to quit smoking...and I think it's helping...as long as I'm reading it the desire seems to lessen...as soon as I put the book down I want another one. lol.
Dang drugs anyway. Such a stupid thing to do, and such a waste of money and good health...but so highly addictive.

[ChristineMP]

OMG...how horrible. Doubly so because of his family :(

Definitely tell you husband how his family acted and what they said while he was in ICU. IMO his brother's wife should no longer be welcome in your house for telling you to have an abortion...I know my husband would be having some words with his brother were he is your husband's shoes.

I am so sorry you are going through this. Stay strong with your husband...and let his family know he needs peace a quiet during his recovery. It is YOUR house...let them know they need to keep their distance for now.

As previous poster said, talk to your pharmacist about how the meds he is on are shed and what contact is safe for you and the baby. Hang in there! (((hug)))

You are in a safe place here on this board, feel free to vent anytime. You and your family (husband and baby) are in my prayers!

[staned]

Wow, that is crazy. I can't believe his family. Yes he needs to know what they did. I don't know about the meds, sorry. I wish you luck and will say a prayer for you and the baby. Have you stopped smoking? And don't stess. Take deep breaths and drink some ginger tea with lemon to relax. Its safe for the baby.

[mol6541]

Hi. I am so sorry you are going through all of this. I am happy to hear that your husband is doing well. Does your husband know what happen while he was in the hospital?  It would be best for him to know and for you to get your feelings out with him if possible. So that way you can both be on the same page and neither one of you is surprised by something

As far as the meds go call your OB or your pharmacist. Either one should be able to answer your questions about risks and what can be passed on. It sounds like you are handling everything as well as you possibly can. If you do get overwhelmed contact your OB for help. They may just send you to talk to someone to get your feelings out.

I will say we had some family issues when I suffered a loss in march 2010. My husband and I talked about things and how we wanted to handle it. Communication is the best tool. We no longer associate with those we had issues with because it was what was best for us. I turned up pregnant a few months later and delivered a healthy baby boy on march 29.

Keep your head held high. You will get through all of this. Post when you need to if just to vent. Enjoy the rest of your pregnancy and I wish the best to you and your husband!!