I an 13 years old 14 in may and I am pregnant I have tried to tell the unborn baby’s dad but he just said that it was not his fault and I was all to balm my dad is all ways working and my mam is all ways trying to stop my three brothers from fighting so they don’t have much time left and every time i try and tell my mother my brothers all ways start fighting so she has to go and sort them out and I can not tell my brothers because they never listen to me and my sister has moved away and has a family of her own to look out for.
I have told my best friend and he said he would look after me but my family still needs to know right.
so what can I do? what is the best thing to do?
Please help the best you can
I think EVERYONE involved needs to know including his parents and I really wouldn't care what he thought about it! Since he is only 16 he is probably freaking out and not wanting to take responsibility for his actions but you can't just let him off the hook. Tell everyone ASAP.............you don't have to go through this alone, and people will find out sooner or later once you start showing.
I'm going to assume you're a real poster. If you need help, you can call a free crisis pregnancy hotline. You can see the website at www.birthright.org. The number is listed there. They can help you better than we can.
We've helped girls as young as 12 who were raped go on to have healthy pregnancies and births, whether they kept them or gave them up for adoption. We also offer resources, so please give that number a call.
Zacaray, I'm sure you can understand that your mom is probably a bit overwhelmed right now. Try to give her sometime. She will come to you, to talk. Just relax, use the help that Njeosys has offered, and take it easy. Im sure everything will be alright.
your mom is most likely disapointed that her little girl is pregnant and sexually active. Give her some time and she will come to talk to you. Dont be angry with her as I am sure she had hoped you would never be in this situation. When she tries to talk to you make sure that you express how you feel and what you would like to happen and she will let you know what your options are. Good luck to you!!!
How t make your mom understand..? That isn't what you'r after sweetheart, she may not understand or want to understand but you need to keep the lines of communication open. Understand that this is ALOT for her to digest right now. It may take a while ... Don't be mad at her for her reaction(s). You're her baby and you may feel all grown up but you aren't. She knows what you are in for under the best circumstances (nevermind the not so good circumstances for now...) Her hopes for you probably didn't include you having sex and getting pregnant at your age so give her a break. She WILL come aroud, you're her baby. Find family planning in your area and visit them - find out what's available (supportwise) in you area. visit www.birthright.org like njeosys suggested but don't get all independant or ignorant with the people who care about you the most. If you need to talk you are welcome to leave me a message. Good Luck.
You can't make your mom understand. She is hurt, upset, and trying to sort through her feelings. Give her time and when she is ready, you guys can talk.
Like I said, give Birthright a call. I'm not sure if we have a Birthright in England, but maybe they can refer you to a place near you where you and your mom can get counseling to help talk this through.
You still can't make her understand. In her eyes you're still her baby..and now you're pregnant? Its a major blow to her. I'm 25 and I told my mother yesterday I might be pregnant..and yes she acted almost exactly the same way. I'm still her baby, and always will be.
Don't expect it to be over right away...she's liable to be hurt and upset for a good long while. She's your momma though..she loves you. She always will. Just give her time. You will need more than "some" help. This isn't a child you babysit and get to give back at the end of the day.
Look, give her some space, sometimes it's better to say nothing than to say stupidities you can't take back. She is PISSED at you right now. She has every right to be mad at you. Not only are you having sex - the fact that you are pregnant tells her you had UNPROTECTED sex. You don't understand the thoughts going through her mind right now. NOt only did you get pregnant but you (even though you are positive that you didn't) may have come into contact with a number of diseases that don't always manifest themselve right away. nevermind AIDS for a minute but something like herpes can show up later and is for LIFE. I'm assuming you know at least a little about the diseases out there. Now, think about how she must feel - she knows that you will eventually start to show and even though she loves you she may feel a little embarassed because it makes her look like she didn't do her job as a Mom and teach you anything. I am soooo not saying these things to hurt your feelings and life is hard enough as it is right now but I am trying to give you a little perspective and make you see things from her point of view. She can't beleive what is happening. Better she says nothing than say hurtful things or give in to the urge to possibly slap some sense into you. Even though we love our kids there are moments where we would love to give you one good cuff. THE ANGER PHASE WILL PASS then you will talk because beleive me she has some stuff to say to you. Give her some time.
You said at the beginning of this post, that you had been to the doc....how do you not know how far along you are if you have been?? If you are looking for attention because your dad works all the time, and your mom is busy with your brothers, this is the wrong way to do it. You have to either be honest with everyone on here to get a good answer, or be honest with your family and quit lying to everyone. Either way, if you're not lying, and you don't know how far along you are, you need to grow up. You made adult decisions, and now you're in an adult situation. You are a child, and you need to let your mom make a decision for you for once, and give her some time to do just that. Stop being a brat and let her be a parent. Get your head out of your rear end, and realize that if you are telling your mom the truth, you just broke her heart and now you need to deal with the consequences. No matter what people tell you on here, it won't make you feel better about what you've done. If you are cramping and sick, take yourself in to the ER or wherever, cuz if you've been able to go have sex, and get tested for STDs already, then you can admit yourself to see what's going on. I would wish you luck, but I don't believe a word that you've claimed, and just hope that your life turns out better than the path you're apparently on right now.
I would have thought at 13 your mum would have dragged you off to the doctors to confim pregnancy,it is illegal in this country,the father could be in alot of trouble,you need to go doctors..get the info,ask your mum to go doctors with you.
There are a lot of resources available to you if you are pregnant at a crisis pregnancy center, you can either google a search, www.care-net.org or www.awomanschoice.org also have some great resources and can connect you with someone in your area. They even offer counseling, you really need to be seen at a clinic to get some prenatal vitamins. Don't make your situation more complicated by birth defects, and if I am speaking with a 13 year old- as for your post "I know it takes two but he is not bothered about that, yes I have been to the doctor and yes I am going to keep it because I live up to my problems", You need to understand that doing what's best for you and your baby may not mean keeping it, it may mean that you make a hard decision to place it for adoption. You don't need to prove anything to anyone. Just because you made a mistake (the unprotected sex) and it resulted in a pregnancy, doesn't mean that you need to keep making mistakes to try to fix it. It would be worse to bring a baby into an environment where you don't have the means to provide for it. 16 year old boys are not generally the most supportive people. You have a lot of hard decisions to make, I'll be praying for you. My husband and his girlfriend had a baby when they were 17 and still in highschool, his son is now almost 20 and has lived a life of constant battle between the 2 families. He says he never wants kids because he doesn't want them to have the life he had. Not that everyone didn't love him, he was well provided for, both families came from money, what one didn't buy the other did, he was very spoiled. His mom hid her pregnancy for 8 1/2 mos and told his mom before she even told her own. This started years of distrust, court battles, etc.--mostly between the grandparents who raised him while the parents went to college. The poor kid was bounced from one place to another and had no stability. Try to picture yourself in 5,10,18 years, you're making decisions for 2 now.
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