3 week old sleep issues- help!!!

[Cheesecake7]

My baby is 3 weeks old, and so far she sleeps wonderfully- if we are holding her.  We can't put her down in anything except for her swing to sleep, not her bassinet, crib, or pack n play.  She will only sleep in our arms, and sometimes for brief spurts in her swing.  My husband and I have resorted to shift sleeping with her in our arms on the couch.  We are exhausted and miss being able to sleep together. I know that a certain amount of this is normal with a newborn, but I dont want this sleeping only while being held thing to turn into a habit... help!!!

[Grandmatobe]

As some of the others have noted, babies need to feel safe and secure.  One way of helping with this is to keep them swaddled when they are sleeping.  A crib can seem so big and empty to a baby.  My granddaughter is finally sleeping in her crib and she is 7 months old.  Before that, she only wanted to sleep in a moses basket, and believe me, she was head to toe in that thing before going to her crib.

If you keep her in a smaller space next to you bed (like in a bassinet or moses basket), and keep them swaddled, it really helps and it gives you better sleep, because they are not in the bed with you (which can be worrisome - - like rolling over on them, etc).

I hope it gets better....

[rambopeep]

Hi, I too tried the cry it out technique, which I didn't have the heart to do. I was always told that a baby must learn to fall asleep on their own. This seemed a bit contradictory to me, since we shower our babies with constant love and attention through out the day, by touching, holding, singing, bathing, rocking, playing with, kissing, changing and so forth, but all that becomes off limits during the night. It is only natural for a baby to want to be held tight, and kept warm and feel your breathing and heart beat, since that is all they know, from the womb. It is familiar, and comforting to them now that they are suddenly thrust into a strange world with new sounds, smells, and sights which can be very over stimulating for a newborn. Also they don't have a sense of time, since they sleep about 20 hours a day in the first few months. They sleep to the comforting sounds of our daily lives, and when the sounds stop, they wake up wanting reassurance that you are still there.

Yup, we get sleep deprived and need our alone time with our spouses, and time to recharge ourselves. I myself, don't cope well when I am sleep deprived, so staying up all night rocking a baby wasn't going to work for me. Also co-sleeping wasn't an option either.

In the end I was determined to get her to sleep in her crib, and went through our ritual, of making sure all of her needs were met, and then came the dreaded bedtime. After about 20 minutes of gut wrenching hysterics, it occurred to me that, this wasn't teaching her anything. The only message I was giving her, was, that I was not there when she needed me. I realized that she must sleep in her own bed but with help instead of letting her cry it out on her own. If it meant rocking her to sleep and giving her all the comfort and security in knowing that I will be there whenever she needed me any time of the day, then that is what I had to do. It was hard, and I spent countless nights carefully lowering her into her bed, painstaking slow in order to not wake her. Many nights doing this repeatedly. Getting up and responding to her every sound, was hard but totally worth it. It got easier with time and hubby and I took turns when possible. We all kept our sanity, I got enough consistent sleep to keep me functioning, our alone time was short but still there and made us appreciate our time together much more, and lastly she wasn't put through any unnecessary stress. The bonus of it all was that she stayed in her bed once she graduated to her toddler bed, eliminating the jack in the box routine.

In the end, whatever feels right instinctively is the way you should go. Co-sleeping is very natural although not without risks, but is practiced all over the world for centuries so it can't be wrong, and having your baby develop complete trust in you to provide for them anytime that they need you, including nighttime is the best gift you can give them. Don't worry about holding and comforting your child at 3 weeks to become habit forming. It is just our natural human instinct after all.

[babydreams9]

My situation is similar to JoyRenee's... the only thing that works right now is co-sleeping, which is funny because I was against it until we had our own baby who would *not* sleep on his own. We are slowly working on getting him into a co-sleeper bassinet and then his crib. But I'm not worried too much about it at this point. For now, while he is still needing us (me, mostly) close and is breastfed exclusively, it just works best for us. Additionally, well-rested parents make for better parents, IMO. Personally I don't believe in the cry-it-out method if the baby is just working him/herself up more and more, into hysterics. Thats not healthy for anyone, I dont think. Consider co-sleeping with her cradled in your arms. It could be just what she needs to feel safe and secure enough to eventually sleep on her own. Best of luck!

[JoyRenee]

Sounds like my firstborn. We ended up co-sleeping because nothing we did worked. One night I stood there while she cried for almost 3 hours, while trying the technique the previous poster explained. She started crying so hard she was hyperventilating. That technique will work for some, but not for everyone, so I'm not disagreeing with them. I'm just saying it didn't work for us.

We had to do what was best for her and for our family, which in the end was co-sleeping. Done correctly co-sleeping is actually not a bad thing!

And no, she does not sleep with us anymore (she's 3 1/2 years old now). When she was almost 1-year-old she started taking naps in the crib herself and then went to bedtime in her crib by herself. When she was 19 months old she got a twin bed and has been sleeping in that ever since.

[Darkestlight]

i agree with the above poster. If your child is changed, and fed and theres nothing wrong, they just need to cry when its sleepy time.

[marie1210]

Hi there!  I had an issue with my daughter when she was about that age.  She didn't seem to want to sleep in anything but her bounce chair.  She would not sleep in her crib and certainly not for very long.  I will tell you what my pediatrician told me.  If she is fed, changed, and nothing seems to be wrong, especially if you pick her up and she stops fussing or crying, then you have to put her back in her crib. Pick her up, soothe her and then place her back down.  You may have to do this a dozen times but eventually, it will work.   At this age, she is too young to be spoiled, so try not to worry about that.  I'll tell you what did work for me.  I watched for signs of sleepiness.  I would see her rubbing at her eyes, or yawning and I would jump on that opportunity to put her down.  At first she cried for a good 15 minutes before falling asleep.  Granted, it wasn't all out screaming, but I had to stop myself from going into her room.  I had to let her find her way to sleep. After a week or so, the fussing got shorter and shorter and now, she goes to sleep all by herself.  Trust me, the way things are now, will not necessarily stay that way a month from now.  She will learn, and so will you, what works for the both of you.  It's a fight and you have to stick to your guns.  Use your instincts, they will generally lead you down the right path.  I hope I helped.  =)