ADVICE, SAD, LONLEY , DEPRESSED ;(

[kiccolini]

I really need ADVICE please.
So im 20 years old and im 10 Weeks and 4 days, ive been with been with my bf/bd for 3 in half years. The only problem is he lives in Chicago and I live in Utah. We have always visited each other back and forth and he's coming this Friday to see me and come to my doc appointment march 5th and everytime I talk about the baby he says he dosent wanna talk about it and he told me at first to get an abortion and he bought me an engament ring n when he comes here he is gonna propose but tonight he told me he wont marry me if I keep the baby and he dosent want it. Im so sad and upset like idk what to do, I just keep telling him will talk about it when I see u . I dont want to get an abortion I told him but hes emotionally and mentally tearing me apart  and I love him more than anything and idk what to do I was hoping when he comes my appointment and sees the ultra sound he'll come around but I dont think thats gonna happen ;( idk wat to do, help any advice!

[besanceney]

I went threw the same thing almost. You have to decide of your babys life is worth letting go of for a man who would make you choose him or you boths baby. Its sad i decided wheather he was going to be there in our babys life i made the choice to make a baby and refused to run from the situation as he did. Mybe he will cjange his mind but of not, IF YOU WANT THAT BABY YOU HAVE THAY BABY definitely don't abort a baby to save a relationship because in the end you may end up more hurt if u do that. Even after deciding to keep my baby i lost it and the worst part was knowing i even contemplated an abortion. I hope you make the right decision for u nd your precious baby:) he or she is pretty big by.now

[RebeccaRaee]

Wow, talk about bribing much? If he doesn't want to have a baby now, but wants to marry you, when will he want to have one? When you're 30 perhaps? Don't make the same mistake my sister did. Her bf told her to get an absorption, she had to kill two baby's because she was pregnant with twins and tried committing suicide after the abortion. It was the biggest mistake of her life. Please don't do it.

[tenten1989]

Hello everybody im 14 weeks pregnant and this is my fifth child im currently in a off and on relationship with my kids father cause we can't get along he cheats n lies to me constantly just last year he got a girl pregnant and the sad part was we were pregnant together n are kids are 12 days apart i he says he loves me n wants to be with me and my 4 girls but when i look in his phone its always something different n then i kick him out then eventually take him back the truth of the matter is i think i have lost feeling for him but im scared i Will be by myself because of the amount of children i have im so alone and im not happy i cry daily but i love my girls to death

[kiccolini]

Tearing *

[kiccolini]

Yes he is...but that was all in the past and I can honestly say i can trust him a lot more now and we were doing great before he found out I'm pregnant...its just so hard cause he's my first love and Idk how to let go of something I love so much with all my heart . And today he told me he's just confussed n will talk about it when I see him Friday ..this is all so much for me I feel so alone and if he leaves Idk how to make it ..its like someone ripping my heart out. Like I gave this guy my all, my everything and he said said hell always love me and even bought me this heart necklace that says our initals and ill always love you forver. And plus he's Muslim and I'm not and just so many things....its just so hard ;( when were together he makes me so happy like why is he being this way...its just testify me apart ;(

[Starzabove9]

Im sorry but isnt this the same guy that gave you clamydia??? What does this guy have to do to you before you realize you deserve more? Youre a person that deserves to be loved, supported, and respected. You need to set you standards higher for yourself and as an example for your child. You should love yourself more because you deserve it

[Rachel_croft]

I would dump his ***, but don't expect much out of him cuz he sounds like a deadbeat.

[Rachel_croft]

I was in a long distance relationship and my ex had a whole neither life he was hiding. I honestly think he is probably with another girl in Chicago and he will be forced to come clean if you keep his baby. That does not make sense that he is only proposing if you have an abortion. If anything it would be the other way around.

[kiccolini]

Thanks love :-)

[hansen20]

im so happy for you hun!! i just know you will be a great mommy=), good luck and i hope you have a happy and healthy pregnancy=).

[kiccolini]

Thank you so much everyone for the advice, yoi guys are All right as my mom said the same thing. The baby is a blessing from God and my mom went thru the same thing with my brothers dad. But I will love this baby with or,without  him. I really hope he'll come to his senses and be therefor me. But if not ill still have my baby aways!

[hansen20]

just remember because this is true too. a man is there sometimes but your kids are there forever and ever. what that means is your kids will always love you no matter what and a man can come and go out of your life, but if he truly loves you he will stick beside you thru thick and thin no matter what. thats what my mom told me and i do agree with it because no matter if i have a guy or not my kids will always be there unlike a man=).

[parkersmommy]

You love him more than anything now but what you feel for him is NOTHING compared to what you'll soon feel for that baby. I am not telling you not to get an abortion you should do what you feel is right but don't do it to keep a man because any man that says he won't be with you unless you kill your baby is trying to force you to do something very hard that YOU will have to live with for the rest of your life and that's not fair and it certainly isn't love. Good luck doll

[momabear86]

I'd explain you love him but can't abort a life just because he isn't ready. Explain its a scary time for both of you but its easier if you support each other rather than go against

[jess1125]

Yeah I know but now that am allmost half way threw this pregnancy am not even worried about him. Its all about me and my baby. He'll realise sooner or later that I ain't stressen him and we don't need him and that going to her him

[alexiah]

Jess u just have to be strong u can do it by yourself u dont need him ...theirs gonna be someone out their that's gonna love u for who u are and except your  baby :)

[hansen20]

i would have to agree with alexiah, because why would he say, i want to marry you but you have to get an abortion. my ex did that too me too and i chose the baby over him, not only that but if hes living that far away how do you not know hes actually cheating on you with another lady. my advice is to leave him if he dont want that baby because it never asked to be abort a baby at 10w4d has feelings and it can feel pain. im also 20 years old and i have 2 kids and another one on the way but its with my fiance. when i was pregnant by my ex i miscarried at 9w2d and that was last year. i mean if he really loves you he would never want you to abort the baby at all. this pregnancy was a surprise for my bf and i and he loves me so much that hes sticking by my side, just like he should do you but hes not wanting to it sounds like. i dont know if you know this but a babies heart starts to beat at 5-7 weeks pregnant. i was a single mother for along time but with 2 kids under 2 years of age. i know you will be a great mother and i really think if you did get an abortion you would really regret it so much. my brother regrets his gf getting an abortion just because of medical issues. i think you will be happy if you kept your baby i really do. i never regret having my kids even with my son because he never asked to be born or aborted because in my situation it was bad. it really sounds like he does love you but not to the extent of it where it comes to you and his baby with you. and that he dont want to take responsibility. i know its hard but i think you should kick him to the curb because your baby that your caring is more important. i hope i didnt make you mad by anything i said. i hope you can update us on what your choice is =) no matter what it is.  

[alexiah]

Jess u just havs to be strong u can do it by yourself u dont need him ...theirs gonna be someone out their that's gonna love u for who u are and except your  baby :)

[jess1125]

And as much as I know its hard try ur hardest to not stress cuz its not good for the baby.

[kiccolini]

Yeah he does and thats what im trynna tell him , but he'll get a piece of my mind when he comes here

[alexiah]

Im pregnant now im my bf 24 also and that never when to his head he was very happy when he found out I was preggo and we live together as a happy fam

[jess1125]

My baby father. Is the same way he doesn't want nothing to do with me nor the baby's life am 4months and a week and he cares more about geting back with his first baby mother then to take responsibilities and says I need to get an abortion but I have faith in. Myself and I can do this without him. And u should have faith in urself also.

[alexiah]

Yea girl even if he says he not ready..
He knows what he was doing ..he could of took
Care of himself now is too late and he has to face the consequences like a man

[kiccolini]

yes he needs to take responsibility and grow the f up hes 24 , im gonna have a long talk when I see him!!