Addressing Abortion

[JoyRenee]

Hey guys!!! I just wanted to give you guys a tip when someone comes on here asking about abortion. We all have our beliefs and the majority of us here are pro-life. When someone is questioning abortion they are either 1). a fake poster, or 2). they are really scared and confused. They have come for support. And while it is a pregnancy forum, not an abortion forum, they have come to find comfort, love, support, a WAY OUT of their seemingly disasterous situation.

If we say, "This is what I believe..." it is not going to be an effective tool in helping her to make a decision. Just because we believe it doesn't mean they believe it too. Defenses will go up. She doesn't care what WE believe, she wants to know how we can HELP.

Tread carefully and lightly. Speak about the baby inside of her, show her support, get her enthusastic... find a SOLUTION instead of just saying what you believe.

If a woman feels threatened, attacked, cornered, she will run and do the very thing we're asking her not to.

I am not speaking to any one specific person here as I did not read everyone's posts. So please do not become offended. I speak with girls at a crisis pregnancy center who are afraid of the future and of pregnancy. Our society has built this mentality that if something is wrong, all you have to do is abort it and the problems disappear. That is NOT true. We need to, in a loving manner, show these women that there are other options.

Also, if you've had an abortion, share your story of your heartache, regret, grief. It is stories like those that make a girl seriously ponder the decision she has to make.

Not everyone knows about the devastation abortion has not only physically, but MENTALLY and EMOTIONALLY. They are here asking questions for a reason. They want to be talked out of it, they want solutions.

So let's work TOGETHER, put our personal opinions aside, and love the women and the unborn baby. If we show her that she has support, not someone judging her, she is a hundred times more likely to take our advice.

And if she ends up getting an abortion, that was her choice and she'll live with it the rest of her life. Who are we to judge when we all have our own "sins"? It is ultimately the woman's decision. I am pro-life and I do not believe in abortion 100% but that doesn't matter to a girl who is frantic with worry and stress. What matters is that I care about her, her situation, and that I want to help.

So please, please! Let's work together and try to save those unborn babies selflessly. You all are wonderful, strong women with hearts of gold!!! I know you've got anguish and heartache, but we can work together to save other women of the grief a loss brings.

Thanks so much! Sorry this was so long. I just feel really passionately about this and really felt I should write this.

[nikisinki]

i just want to take this oppoturinty to thank you so very much for this entire of yours, there's been a few girls that basically wanted women's advice on here in the last few days and when i read their responses, it has killed me reading what they have written, some of these women can be so cruel and hurtful and i myself have had 2 abortions in my life when i was younger and the hurt and pain that i had to go thru mentally, physically, and now today, when i want to get prego and it just sometimes seems impossible, it kills me, making me think that maybe what i did has something to do with it, or maybe im being punished, but i know it doesnt and im not being punished, its just going to happen when it happens, but besides all of my rambling, i just wanted to take a few minutes and respond to your entry and say thank you!!!!!!! maybe some of these women will learn from your thoughtfulness and learn what and what not to say in the near future. love,nicole

[Michele, Katy, TX]

I understand what you are saying Joy.  And that is the approach I always try to take and for all of the reasons you listed.  But I do understand where these women are coming from and I have never had a m/c or abortion.  Your post was very well written.  I want to save all of those babies also.  I have a coffee mug on my desk that says "Do What You Can and Pray for What You Cannot Do".  I love it and that is how I feel sometimes.  There are so many things I want to do to help and make a difference but this world is so much bigger than me.  You are a great person just like beautifullychaotic said.  HUGS!!

[beautifullychaotic]

JOY, You are such a wonderful person! I just wanna let you know! :)

[JoyRenee]

Oh, danielle, don't worry about it! She's decided to keep the baby now and everything is fine. I never meant to make anyone feel guilty, but to just think a moment before they post. The most effective way to get someone's trust and to speak with them openly is to be loving.

You'll remember it for next time, as I'm sure more abortion-minded people may show up here. You're a sweet girl! No one thinks of you as awful.

I didn't even read your post so I have no clue what you said. As I had said, I'm not pointing a finger at anyone. Just thought I'd give some tips on how to deal with situations like this as I do it at a preg. center.

HUGS! Don't worry about it anymore, danielle!

[danielle72007]

I was beginning to feel guilty after I had posted my comment to her post and now i'm feeling even worse about it.. I did not by any means mean to threaten her or anything of the nature.. I am just very against abortion and my feelings seem to come out a little more harsh than they should...

[cindy82]

you and judylacer are right on both your post. i also have seen and i know yall have to, someone going so close down that road and then not doing it. yay for them. i know lifes cruel and hard sometimes, but you have to face it day by day by what you do, who knows we could be the ones here today and gone tomorrow, or something even more powerfull keeping us from our goals

[JoyRenee]

Thank you, too, for your input Babiesjuice!

[Babiesjuice]

I think it was really sincere of you to take the time to address that issue. Usually when i see a title relating to abortion, i wont even read it. Although i respect everyones choices, i dont even consider abortion an option unless it is a health risk to give birth. However, abortion is real and people sometimes find themselves in situations where they really need advice. Perhaps they cant talk to anyone else about it. Therefore it would be best to show respect and support listening responding as positively as possible. THanks for posting.

[judylacar]

THANK YOU AND AMEN!