Anyone else feel like DH is getting more distant as your pregnancy progresses? (possible tmi)

[alaysha]

Maybe its just me and I'm being hormonal and silly, but lately I've really been feeling like DH has gotten physically and emotionally distant. Usually we have sex at least every other day but lately its like he puts the moves on me less and less and I didn't even realize it until today. Yesterday I tried to instigate it twice and the first time when he stopped by in the afternoon he brushed me off by claiming he had a headache and then last night because he had to get up super early and drive his sister to the airport. Also, he usually calls me a couple times during the day when he is at work but lately its like the calls have gotten less and less. Today he didn't even call me at all I had to call him and even then he only said hi and then said he had to get back to work and he's been gone 11 hours so far. He owns his own company and I know that he's had two of his main people out of the office this week but I'm not sure that is any reason for him to be like this. When I tried to ask him if something was wrong like maybe he was afraid of hurting the baby or me being less attractive in my pregnant state or that sex was harder to find a comfortable position etc. he just laughed it off and said I was being silly. But I really feel like something is wrong and I don't know why he won't talk to me about it. I'm 32 weeks now and once I have the baby we're going to be physically distant for 6 more weeks and I just don't know what to do. Does anyone else feel like DH is getting more distant as your pregnancy progresses?

[Limonada]

In terms of sex, my husband didn't want to do anything from when I was 37 weeks onward - and seeing as I went to 41 weeks with both pregnancies and then waited for the 6 weeks PP to do anything, that ended up being a few weeks, lol.

He said he wasn't comfortable with it when I was so close to delivery, even when I was late and he knew that intercourse might help "get things going".  I respected that, and our sex life got back on track after the babies were born.

[cherylsangel]

Well, in my situation DF and I have not had sex once since I became pregnant and I am now 34 weeks! It is not really bothersome to me because I am always falling asleep on him and have been tired throughout this whole pregnancy and DF is not one of those sex crazed boys, he would rather have sex less often and have it be extra special than do it all the time lose its meaning...lol...

However in other areas my and DF have been distant.....we don't aeem to agree on anything anymore, not as close as we used to be and this pregnancy has taken a toll on my hormones and I cry ALL THE TIME so I know I have been a pain for him...I am hoping things only get  better when the baby comes and my hormones will start to get back in check.

[cowboyslady88]

My hubby got distant during my 2nd pregnancy. He was upfront about why when I asked him and he said it was because he was so freaked out about hurting the baby. At our next appointment I brought it up to our OB and they talked about it and he got over it. As I got further along he started freaking out about my labor. I agree with JoyRenee that men get distant when they are stressed. Just talk about it with him.

[JoyRenee]

My husband did the same thing. Men handle things differently than woman. Women see a problem or are stressed and need to talk things over. Men on the other hand, when stressed, put up walls and distance themselves.

I would just be honest and say, "I know you're stressed and my body is changing. I want to give you space. But please know that I love you and that I'm here for you."

And by space I just mean not bringing it up again for awhile, not trying to instigate sex or phone calls, etc. After a week or so re-evaluate and see what happens. They say distance makes the heart grow fonder! I know when my husband and I are around one another a lot I get to this point where I need him to just leave me the heck alone. LOL! I'm like the dude in the relationship.

[Sarah61086]

sorry im a bit confused by all the abbreviated letters
DH, BFP etc, i dont know what they mean.

But im guessing he is your husband/partner etc.

i asked my husband for his advice on your post and he said

"he could be getting a bit freaked by the impending arrival as things will"
"finding it hard to come to grips with your body changing"
"getting annoyed with all the baby talk and needs to feel there is some other conversation"
"worried he will hurt the baby through sex"
"possibly feeling less attracted to you"
"not calling you as much as too much baby talk"
"worse case scenario, he has slept with someone else and feels bad so he cant handle being near you or ringing you"
"the best thing you can do is sit him down and ask him how he is feeling etc etc etc"
"sometimes the thought of all the change can drive a man to play away from home just to get away from it"
"he could be masterbating more, so not up for as much sex"
"something has changed with you and he doesnt like it"
"could be jealousy the baby will get more attention than he will"
"wants to be acknowledged more and feeling left out cos everything is now about the baby"
"have a day off, go out, dinner etc, and NO baby talk, make him feel important"
"feeling left out"
"doesnt always want to speak, everyone needs own space"
"not happy in the relationship and wants distance to clear his head"
"more likely than not he is freaking out and needs reassurance from you"
"sit him down and make him talk"

This was all my husbands point of view, being a man and all"


I agree with him that you do need to talk and sort it out one way or another.
The most obvious thing to me is all the baby talk is doing his head in and he needs other conversation.

[alaysha]

That is the way DH was in the beginning of my pregnancy as well. He would go into severe panic mode if we went even a day without sex. Its just the end of pregnancy that he seems to have gotten distant. Not even when I first started showing but just now that I have trouble rolling from side to side. :(

[Mommy2B18]

I wish I hadthat problem my husband wants intercourse 2 or more times a day

[Ashelen]

I faced that near the end of my pregnancy too (the last two weeks of it)...I remember lying in bed and staring at him and thinking "alright our daughter's asleep...I know I look good...why is he not making any moves?!" and every time I asked him what the deal was he had an excuse, and we argued about it because I was frustrated and hormonal and worried...but the minute our son was born he went back to normal and now he won't leave me alone lol. Hang in there girls..men are weird animals.

[nickieb85]

I am right there with you... I keep talking to DH about it too but it seems to be nothing that I can do about it! I get so frustrated and he had the nerve to ask me when my sex drive was going to die off again! UGH! It is so aggravating and I have no solution and it seems like if I try to talk to him about it we end up arguing and then it totally kills the mood.

[Heatherm4]

Mine has been distant from the start. He is admittedly weirded out by the whole thing. It's very difficult and emotionally stressful at times. I wish I had an answer for you but you are actually pretty lucky you had closeness up to this point. I can count on my hands this whole 31 weeks how many times DH and I have been intimate! It doesn't help when there have been 2 yeast infections on my part and a bout of poision ivy in a bad place on his part but still!
Talk to him again and tell him it really bothers you!