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Baby Shower Etiquette...................
Hi Ladies..... The shower itself isnt for me, its for a girl I used to work with like 2 yrs back...... We were both pregnant with our first DD when we worked together..... And now Im pregnant with a boy, and shes having another girl..... We msg each other once every few wks to see how we both are doing........
Anyways I AM NOT having a shower and im having a BOY! And shes having another girl, and her "sis" is throwing her a shower?! Not that theres anything wrong with that, but now I feel akward bc she actually msg me and literally asked "My sis is throwing me a shower on *-*-** would you want to come?"
I dont mind going, but i HONESTLY feel dumb, esp if its not a close friend..... If it was her first, if we were BFF before then i might've considered it.... Is it wrong to say no? I mean, i do work, I have things to do when im "free"... heck i see two of my close friends every few wks or so to "hang" out......
Thing is is it wrong of me to think this way, and not go? HOW DO I GO ABOUT SAYING NO?
To me it seems like a pity shower, which again i think she doesnt "need" it, since she JUST had a DD two yr ago....
Anyways I AM NOT having a shower and im having a BOY! And shes having another girl, and her "sis" is throwing her a shower?! Not that theres anything wrong with that, but now I feel akward bc she actually msg me and literally asked "My sis is throwing me a shower on *-*-** would you want to come?"
I dont mind going, but i HONESTLY feel dumb, esp if its not a close friend..... If it was her first, if we were BFF before then i might've considered it.... Is it wrong to say no? I mean, i do work, I have things to do when im "free"... heck i see two of my close friends every few wks or so to "hang" out......
Thing is is it wrong of me to think this way, and not go? HOW DO I GO ABOUT SAYING NO?
To me it seems like a pity shower, which again i think she doesnt "need" it, since she JUST had a DD two yr ago....
no problem, and oh yeah I understand about the large showers...they tried that with my last one #3 and I was like NO WAY too much stress for me lol...it ended up being like 75 people or so, but that was almost ALL family with maybe 4-5 friends lol...we have a huge family between DH and myself...
I really hope you feel better about the situation...Dont feel obligated to do anything....It is soley up to you.:)
I really hope you feel better about the situation...Dont feel obligated to do anything....It is soley up to you.:)
okay... I guess looking back at how extravagent my DD shower was then thats why im like WHY would anyone do that all over again for me? I can completely understand something small and family oriented.
With my first i had over 50 ppl at my shower.... maybe its just me who has this "huge" shower picture. Anyways thank you ladies, you helped a bunch.... =)
With my first i had over 50 ppl at my shower.... maybe its just me who has this "huge" shower picture. Anyways thank you ladies, you helped a bunch.... =)
If you really dont want to go, just dont...You are not obligated to go..Just let her know that you are extremely busy, and that you will not make it...that should be enough.
But, I do agree this is probably her way of spending time with you. I dont think she only invited you for gifts..she obviously values your friendship since you still stay in contact with each other...
As far as baby showers go, I have 3 kids and had 3 showers...The first was after baby was born since I had everything already, and it was more for me, and everyone getting to meet her all at once...And all the others were just a "fun" way of getting everyone together and doting on the upcoming arrival of baby...I did not ask for gifts, since I had bought everything already...But let me tell you I had a blast, and if I had another baby, I would definately have another shower lol
But, I do agree this is probably her way of spending time with you. I dont think she only invited you for gifts..she obviously values your friendship since you still stay in contact with each other...
As far as baby showers go, I have 3 kids and had 3 showers...The first was after baby was born since I had everything already, and it was more for me, and everyone getting to meet her all at once...And all the others were just a "fun" way of getting everyone together and doting on the upcoming arrival of baby...I did not ask for gifts, since I had bought everything already...But let me tell you I had a blast, and if I had another baby, I would definately have another shower lol
I understand celebrating each baby....
some people are kinda taught that you have just one showere with the first child. Our grandmothers thought that way. it is kind of an old way of thinking.
either way is fine & understandable.
personally, I don't know if I will have a shower or not. I moved to town last spring. I'm a little shy & don't have a lot of female friends....
some people are kinda taught that you have just one showere with the first child. Our grandmothers thought that way. it is kind of an old way of thinking.
either way is fine & understandable.
personally, I don't know if I will have a shower or not. I moved to town last spring. I'm a little shy & don't have a lot of female friends....
Alright, I asked for the address and once that weekend arrives ill see if i can or cant.... sometimes things come up unexpectedly. I told her ill try to make it, And realistically I will if my family has nothing planned.
I had a shower for each of my daughters but not because I needed one; it was just a celebration for each baby. If you don't want to go just say NO. Otherwise she's going to tell her hostess to expect you and I can't think of anything more aggravating than inviting people to something and they say, "Sure..." but then never show.
just say, "I'm sorry I can't make it." You don't have to give a reason. When her baby is born, you can send a card.
Friendships are NOT based on gift giving, no matter how strong or weak the ties are. If this woman expects you to attend to bring a gift, then I would re-evaulate the friendship.
Some women have a shower no matter how many kids they have. I too thought you only had a shower if the gender of the child was different than the first, or if the children are many years in age apart. Some women get showers thrown for them because they cannot afford the things that the new baby will need. If finances are the issue with this woman, and they are not a problem for you, then a gift would be nice. There are so many factors that can change it....
Friendships are NOT based on gift giving, no matter how strong or weak the ties are. If this woman expects you to attend to bring a gift, then I would re-evaulate the friendship.
Some women have a shower no matter how many kids they have. I too thought you only had a shower if the gender of the child was different than the first, or if the children are many years in age apart. Some women get showers thrown for them because they cannot afford the things that the new baby will need. If finances are the issue with this woman, and they are not a problem for you, then a gift would be nice. There are so many factors that can change it....
I totally understand about thinking negative toward things. I am the same way when it comes to my own situations but I try to have other people look at the positive side, I should be using my own advise lol! =)
okay thanks =) Now that you both mentianed the other side of things, perhaps it is her way of seeing me and talking for a bit, you might be right....
For some reason im always seeing things as negative towards me as they can be. I didnt think about her reaching out or anything like that. MAybe i should go afterall. Hoperfully that day ill be free.
For some reason im always seeing things as negative towards me as they can be. I didnt think about her reaching out or anything like that. MAybe i should go afterall. Hoperfully that day ill be free.
To me I don't think it really matters that she had one before. My sister had a shower with all 3 of her boys. I think it was nice of her to ask you if you wanted to go. I know y'all don't talk that often but maybe this is her way of getting to see you. I understand about being busy and all with getting things ready for your baby. I think what you said back is good.
Anyways, I just wrote her back and said Ill try to make it and i asked for the address.... I cant say NO flat out. Who knows maybe ill change my mind and wind up going..
Its just things have been busy every weekend, TRying to get as much time with my DD and hubby as possible before little guy gets here.... Taking her to co co key, and a few other places before i get huge.
Its just things have been busy every weekend, TRying to get as much time with my DD and hubby as possible before little guy gets here.... Taking her to co co key, and a few other places before i get huge.
LOL.... no girls Im not AT ALL mad that im not having one! I have everything ready for our son already!!!!!!!! I dont need it! Id back out of it, even if it was offered to me!
You are in no way obligated to go. Showers are supposed to be fun and if you are not planning on having fun (but rather thinking of the other billion things you have to do), then I wouldn't go. There are a few things you can say to not go and get out of this engagement.
Try "I have prior engagements. Wish I could go, but looks like it just won't work in my schedule. I'm sure you will have a great time!" Or you can say that you are just having such a difficult time balancing everything right now that you can't plan on attending at this time. The easiest way to get out of this is to send a gift on your behalf.
Try not to get too upset that she's having another shower - these parties are to welcome the new baby here. It doesn't matter if this is her first, second, or 15th kid - they all deserve to be welcomed. Having a shower with your second (or subsequent child) is becoming more common. In fact, last year a few of the ladies and I threw a shower for a co-worker that was on her 3rd child. We did a mommy shower and got gifts for the mommy and went out to eat. It was a nice time to get together and just chat. The gifts were inexpensive (soaps, candles, gormet coffee) and we all had a blast.
She might be inviting you just because the two of you do stay in contact on a regular basis. In fact, it would be kinda rude for her to NOT invite you. I have a friend out of state that I only talk to when I travel that way to see my family. She LOVES being invited to events (like my wedding) and shows up for anything I invite her to. It's the only time we get to spend time together and she likes having a reason to abandon life and feel like a teenager for a few hours again. If I didn't invite her to my upcoming shower this weekend, I know she would be upset. I think she's just trying to be nice to you, so don't worry if you don't want to go. Come up with some kind words and stay home! :) And don't feel bad about it either!
Try "I have prior engagements. Wish I could go, but looks like it just won't work in my schedule. I'm sure you will have a great time!" Or you can say that you are just having such a difficult time balancing everything right now that you can't plan on attending at this time. The easiest way to get out of this is to send a gift on your behalf.
Try not to get too upset that she's having another shower - these parties are to welcome the new baby here. It doesn't matter if this is her first, second, or 15th kid - they all deserve to be welcomed. Having a shower with your second (or subsequent child) is becoming more common. In fact, last year a few of the ladies and I threw a shower for a co-worker that was on her 3rd child. We did a mommy shower and got gifts for the mommy and went out to eat. It was a nice time to get together and just chat. The gifts were inexpensive (soaps, candles, gormet coffee) and we all had a blast.
She might be inviting you just because the two of you do stay in contact on a regular basis. In fact, it would be kinda rude for her to NOT invite you. I have a friend out of state that I only talk to when I travel that way to see my family. She LOVES being invited to events (like my wedding) and shows up for anything I invite her to. It's the only time we get to spend time together and she likes having a reason to abandon life and feel like a teenager for a few hours again. If I didn't invite her to my upcoming shower this weekend, I know she would be upset. I think she's just trying to be nice to you, so don't worry if you don't want to go. Come up with some kind words and stay home! :) And don't feel bad about it either!
I would just say ur busy.. no body needs a party poppet at there shower.. And that's rude for u to call it a pity shower.. It seems to me ur just mad bc ur not having a shower of ur own.. Maybe she is just still excited about having another baby and wants to celebrate... Is there really anything wrong with that??
YIKES I sound so rude lol......
Point is I work- I dont sit home with nothing to do..... I have to plan out "meals" thruout the wk, and plan out when to make my errands, and such, making room for someones shower WHO I worked with two yrs ago seems odd...... How do i say no? and what excuse do i give?
Point is I work- I dont sit home with nothing to do..... I have to plan out "meals" thruout the wk, and plan out when to make my errands, and such, making room for someones shower WHO I worked with two yrs ago seems odd...... How do i say no? and what excuse do i give?
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