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Avatar universal

COMMENTS on the Preggosaurus.... Arghhh

Anyways... Please feel free to ADD =)

Seems like when your pregnant people are automatically given the right to comment on how "prego" or not so prego you look. With my first When i was 6 months along i ALWAYS heard how i looked like i was about to pop. NAWW really? being the TALLL 5 ft that I am..... I showed at four months, had a perfectly round bump, Jealousy maybe? I dont know. But ITS SURE ANNOYING, from pregos that are six ft tall, and from non-pregos, everyone thinks they should feel free to comment.....

ANYWAYS this time around I didnt started showing "round" til about 22 wks along, before that i just looked bloated now its like POOF... At 26 wks Ive only gained 10 lbs yes proud to say. BC with my first I already had gained 20+ lbs. at 20 wks. And at the end I gained 65 lb. granted a chunk of it was water. BUT STILL. As I feel so blessed and having an uneventful pregnancy, my friend (of all people) who is about 50 lb heavier, also a good half ft taller then me, told me..... "WOw, your bump is huge girl, I looked like that when i went to deliver.".............................

Well geeeee THANK YOU!!! ..... that totally made my day. Yet again, I guess im "huge" this time around too. WEll come to think of it im only 5 ft tall, So just maybe my little guy doesnt have anywhere to hide???!!


ANYWAYS just when I was so proud of myself for not feeling "huge" someone bursts my bubble. ANd that someone is a close friend who always seems to say the wrong thing at the wrong time.

Do I forget it? Its not the first time shes been rude about something about pregnancy, (shes pregnant too... ) I never comment on how "huge" she is.... Is she doing this to make herself feel better? I dont know....


Im just at a loss right now, She seems to blurt out the rudest things to me, in regards to my lo heartrate being "too low" maybe something is "wrong" with his heart?!!! Like WTH who says that?!!! My beautiful little guy is PERFECT, growing ahead of schedual and just a very healthy little bean, whos ALWAYS moving..... non stop.

oh and his heartrate is in the 140s... Do i ignore, when do i tell her something? WHAT DO I SAY????? Share your opinons and thoughts please...
18 Responses
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Avatar universal
Lol. Thank you for your stories =o) Its nice to know there are others like me who get unwanted comments... I dont mind getting as big as i did with DD as long as I dont hear it from other people....

Trying.... THATS nuts!!!! How dare they say that to  a PREGNANT WOMAN???? oh my gosh id be fumed. :(

All in all I feel VERY blessed to be carrying a healthy baby both pregnancies, I know some people look hot during their pregnancies, Im not one of them, I know some women get into their prepregnancy clothes, THATS not me either, I still have 20 lb extra from DD..... And thats okay. As long as people know what NOT to say.
Helpful - 0
1294482 tn?1354489288
I do know how you feel. I get big really fast and did with my ds too. At work my boss says "oh, look its thechubby lady." Really? I mean, I know how big my belly is alread, I could easily pass for 7 months and I am only 5. I know she doesn't mean harm but its annoying and yesterday she actually said "oh its the fat lady" well I am NOT fat, I am pregnant. I have gained more this pregnancy but I still only wiegh 140lbs at 5'4 so I don't think that is FAT!
Helpful - 0
1271927 tn?1310580362
Julian - yeah, us preggos take things differently. My sisters were HUGE with their pregnancies and they know it (and kinda hated it). I was not small to start with, but my sisters say my belly is not big as theirs were. I want it to be big! And I think it is big. I LOVE my pregnacy belly and I want it to be even bigger. It kinda hurt my feelings too when I would text them a picture of me and they would write back saying I'm not big or I'm not pregnant. I just went up to see them and on the first day they said I was small, then as the trip went on they said I looked pregnant and one sister even said that there is no denying my naked pregnancy belly, but clothes are not showing it off well enough.

I have a SIL down here that is due any day and our church members think I am further along than she is! LOL! We are about the same size now and she is so concerned about losing her belly ASAP. She talks about her baby weight all the time. WIth her first it took about 2 weeks for her to be back to normal, so I think "whatever" when she talks about it.

We are just so different on this. I could care less if I gained 100 pounds during pregnancy (as long as baby is ok), but feel horrible that I've only gained 8 pounds and I'm 27 weeks along. Me and my SIL might have different feelings on this because my pregnancy was LONG awaited and we tried forever, and hers was unplanned and she's adament this is not happening again to her (I don't know her plan of action, but she is sure it's her last baby).

It's hard to tell what other pregnant people want to hear, but if your friend is making comments that hurt your feelings, then tell her. If it's too hard to tell her out right, then say some of the ladies on the message board here said it and it hurt...she might get the hint.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
THANK YOU ladies!!!!! =)

About the "size" girls, i dont think im "big" I love my body more now then i did when i was a size 3..... I feel more confident in my own skin...

And 5n1 ... my co worker pointed that out to me too! That she just might be a bit jealous?!! This pregnancy im carrying very well, compared to with DD. I think that might be whats getting her? Maybe she expected me to balloon up like with my first and it hasnt happened.

Anyways, Ive just realized next time she says something Ill be very blunt and just prove myself too. Anymore comments on my belly and how "round" it is ill just HAVE TO say "Thank you! Its nice to look pregnant."
Helpful - 0
951898 tn?1296134343
5n1
You know as I sit here eating dinner, I really started thinking about this...and what I am about to say may just be totally out there, or maybe not....but..............
Maybe she is jealous of the way you look pregnant!!! It is just a thought...most friends dont make fun of other friends preggo bellies, they usually compliment on them...so maybe she is just a little jealous of how cute, and perfect your little bean is situated in there:) Not sure, just a thought....
Helpful - 0
1528695 tn?1360582320
tell your friend to kiss my ..... lol i am 18 weeks and my baby's heart rate is in the 140's. according to the doctor it is perfectly within normal/healthy limits!
Secondly, a size 7-8 is not "big", "fat", ect.... prior to pregnancy I was a 14-16, reduced myself to a 8-10-12 depending on the make and my body. Now WHO KNOWS! I would say i've gained a good 12 pounds or so (in 18 weeks)........I busted my butt to lose the weight and for someone to say a 8 is big, kinda hurts my heart!!!

all the fussing about how "big" you will be/are... makes me sick sometimes. Actually I dont feel i look pregnant, im just BIGGER. I am gaining the weight ALL over; rounder butt, bigger boobs, plumper everything. My boyfriend just noticed that i am beginning to "pop". He says its beginning to look more like a prego belly and not an over eater/fast food body.
Helpful - 0
1035252 tn?1427227833
I would get upset about the heartrate comment too...that's just insensitive. Or you could shut her up with a nice flip "Well my baby's nice and laid-back...I know he's going to be an easy one when he's born!" ha. However, when it comes to comments about "bellies" no one ever really knows what a pregnant woman is feeling or thinking.

Say you had a small bump and really loved it when people pointed out how big your belly was (or had a big bump and still enjoyed it!) so you see a pregnant woman and point out "your bump looks so BIG how cute!!" but SHE gets offended.....whereas you would've been thrilled if someone had said it to you.

or on the flip side, if you had a really big bump and every time someone said "you look so tiny!" it made you feel good, so you say it to a pregnant woman and she thinks "Oh how rude my bump is big and beautiful thank you"....you know?

so people are always just doing their best to be nice. i highly doubt people are out to insult pregnant women, there's just no way to know how a pregnant woman will react.

For instance, with both pregnancies, my bellies were HUGE. i mean massive. I've got a small frame and even though I'm not thin, I always looked ginormous and showed early...and I LOVED it when people talked about my belly being big. they would sit me next to my SIL who was 2+ months ahead of me when I was pregnant with my son and say how my belly was the same size as hers...and it would make me happy because people were talking about my big, beautiful bump, and it would upset my SIL because it made her bump feel "small" (to me she never looked entirely "pregnant" even at 36+wks).....so, you see? you just never know. I never had to worry about anyone saying my bump seemed small, so maybe that would've upset me, but I've never had a problem with anything anyone' said about either of my bumps with the exception of one deli lady when I was pregnant with DD who was "SURE" i was having twins and she got me on a bad day, lol.
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Avatar universal
We were best friends in middle school, didnt speak for years, and recently a year ago started talking via internet, hung out a few times, lately weve been talking often and hanging out like good old times. She is a true friend. But it just amazes me what she comes up with sometimes. I mean i dont comment badly EVER in terms of her choices, how big/little she looks and whatnot.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Yep the Heartbeat comment got me more upset then the "big" factor.

Its uncalled for, Its a perfectly NORMAL healthy heartbeat, Im confused as to how she didnt "know" that?!!! Next time she opens her mouth I just might have the last say.... It gets REALLY annoying to be told these things. REALLY annoying. REgardless of the hormones and whatnot, It doesnt give you the excuse to run your mouth and thats common sense. I just dont want to flip out on her, which i might if i listen to her talk smack like this. SRY for this vent... I just havent talked to her yet, as it seems sort of stupid to randomly bring this up.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I hated the "about to pop" comment as though I was so huge my skin would just burst open. I'm very careful about what I say to pregnant women.

I'd tell your friend, "I don't really like it when people talk about how I look, whether they think I look huge or little." Maybe she'll get the hint. If she doesn't is your friendship a true friendship? Is she someone you've counted on in your most dire straits?!
Helpful - 0
951898 tn?1296134343
5n1
when I was pregnant with #2 and #3 I was HUGE!!!! went from like 105lbs to 160 and I am 5'5" so I was pretty big, and everyone that I knew always tried to ease my mind by saying I was small...but I knew better because everytime DH and I went somewhere someone always made a comment on how big I was...I just didnt let it get to me....I knew I was not small at the moment, but I LOVE being pregnant and eventually I would be back to my normal size...so dont let it stress you too much

as far as your friends HB comment, I would personally tell her it bothers you and that it is not a very nice thing to say especially with you both being hormonal...it is not right to say either, how would she feel if the roles were reversed and you were saying those things to her?
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Thank you! I know, i should take it as a compliment, because im obviously pregnant, and its just belly weight, i havent gained "evenly" only belly this time... Im short and have this huge belly. Well not huge, but OBVIOUS! And it starts from right under my ribs. I guess im carrying "high"???
Helpful - 0
202436 tn?1326474333
I think some people think it's actually a compliment to tell someone they have a big pregnant belly.

Here's a flip side.  When I was pregnant with DS2 I was working.  I got pretty big and (to me) noticeably pregnant.  Yet when I started telling people (that I saw several times per week) that I was going on maternity leave, they were all SHOCKED and like "I didn't even know you were pregnant"  To me that said "I just thought you gained some weight"

As offensive as it may initially be...try to take it as a compliment...you are obviously pregnant and showing off that beautiful baby belly.  Absolutely nothing to be ashamed of.  

I do agree that if your friends comments are getting under your skin, let her know gently that it bothers you.  Perhaps she doesn't realize it does.
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Avatar universal
Ya it will make u feel better to talk to her!!
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Avatar universal
Yeah I know im creating a beautiful life, but the hormones arent HELPING! :/ Its like someone just called you a pig or something. when they say rude things like that. :/ Ill have to say something to her.
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Avatar universal
I was just thinking the same thing it's either u look like ur bout to pop or don't look prego at all and it eels me too.. I'm prego with my 4th and I've always Been slinder but big boobs and butt but with this pregnancy my thighs have gotten a
lil thicker in which is gonna happen when ur hips widen in order to have a baby.. But ne how they keep on telling me after I have this baby(I'm 31wk 6day) I'm not gonna b skinny anymore I'll
just stat fat,!! I'm soo annoyed with them what do they know.. My sis looks fatter then me(she's had 4) but that doesn't mean Ima stay fat I eat healthy!! Everywhere else on my body is slender except boobs but belly so it does looks like Ima bout to pop but in person only.. Like yesterday i posted my baby bump pic and some ppl were like " what baby bump?" and I got a lil annoyed to bc I have ppl saying I don't even look prego and then others telling me I'm fat... I think I look fine just the way I am. And I guess that's my point to u.. I know what they're saying is hurtful
and rude, inappropriate bug maybe they r trying to make themselves feel better.. But if u r ok with the way I look.. Try not to let her bother u bc it's not worth it.. U know ur body ur shorter then most so ya ur gonna look bigger but it's still no reason for her to point it out! And if she really is bothering u I would just talk to her about it so there's no hard feelings, she prob doesn't realize she's doing it.. I tell everyone to shut the **** up and bite me lol!! But good luck and remember pregnancy is beautiful ur creating life who cares what others think!!!
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Avatar universal
oooo i just noticed, the WTH isnt a "swear" the H is for heck. ~!!!
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Avatar universal
And no, Im not a skinny minnie. I WAS a size 3 before DD, now im a lovely size 7-9. =)
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