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427258 tn?1266445242

Concerned...

One of my friends and I are very similar in the way our lives play out. Both have been through pretty much the same stuff and can relate to each other very well. We have both suffered m/c's and both have children (she has one). A few weeks ago I told her I was pregnant and due in Jan. and she fired back with 'Me too!' which I thought was so awesome. As time goes on though things have me concerned! She hasn't had a prenatal visit yet, and when I ask she always has an excuse at to why. Then today I find out she's been taking Xanax to help calm her nerves on her upcoming wedding. I know that Xanax is a Category D drug and not recommened in pregnancy unless NEED-BE. My doctor told me to stop taking it the moment I discovered I was pregnant. I keep checking in on her, thinking that may be she wont acknowledge this baby until confirmed, but she hasn't been seen by a Dr. or cared to make an appointment. What is your take on this? How can I be a friend and make sure she and the 'baby' are safe without being pushy or nosey? I'm actually begining to question if she is infact pregnant at all...how awful is that?
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419964 tn?1333301906
i agree with spade22, maybe you could have like a lunch date gradually bring up being pregnant .....talk about how excited you are that your both pregnant see if shes as excited as you. talk about things like how your babys could be due around the same time etc get her to realize that she needs the proper care, buy her a bottle of prenatls as like a gift saying congrats its worth a try good luck with your friend
Helpful - 0
354373 tn?1299184526
I agree with spade in telling her that the Xanax is unsafe to take right now...How far along is she?  Maybe she just hasn't made an appt. b/c she feels that she's not far enough along?  
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
This is a tough one and you have right to be concerned in that Xanax should NOT be taken during pregnancy unless ABSOLUTELY, ABSOLUTELY necessary.  I don't know how you can get her to see a doctor but tell her that by continuing to take Xanax during pregnancy can result in severe consequences and that there are safe medications that can be prescribed for panic attacks to get her though this time in her life (vistaril, for example) - hopefully if you can get her to realize what the impact could be on her baby, she will seek medical help.

Just another thought - do you think there is a possibility that your friend isn't actually pregnant?  Is it possible she is saying she is because she wants to "fit in" or for some form of attention?  Women that have had a MC are typically VERY concerned about subsequent pregnancies and it seems odd that a) she is taking a category D medication ESPECIALLY during her 1st trimester, b) is not bothering to see a doctor,  and c) told you she was pregnant AFTER you said you were and she just happens to be due at the same time as you.............
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