Crying myself to sleep

[40415]

My husband don't want to be intimate with me and I'm crying myself to sleep every night. I'm 24 weeks pregnant and he says that my body looks deformed. I feel like cheating on him but there's no one to cheat with. I'm only 20 years old and I'm sick of masturbating, which I do nearly every day . He makes fun of me and says that I haven't calmed down during pregnancy becuz I was quite sexually active before as well. It's been 2 weeks since we had sex and I'm soo upset . He wasn't that active before as well. What am I supposed to do? Anyone else going through same experience?

[StretchMarkQueen94]

Haha even better lol

[40415]

Lmfaaaaao imagine him sitting there with his thing poking out of his trousers that would be sooo funny but I wouldn't do the Viagra thing cuz it can cause heart attack and that and I cnt even think of losing him. I have inlaws in the house and I cnt do stuff likd that . Plus I dnt even feel sexy . Worst thing is he wants to hug me and cuddle with me wen he's asleep . And yesterday I was moving away from him he got offended . He said to me in the morning why were U being a cow and he was hugging me and that. But I think I'll play it cool and make him chase me from now on

[StretchMarkQueen94]

And oh my gosh I was reading back I hadn't realized that he only wanted to do it like once a week maybe you need to buy some Viagra and put it in his food

[StretchMarkQueen94]

Or do something romantic for him like while he's at work make him a big fancy dinner do ur hair and makeup put on ur sexiest yet most elegant dress light some candles make some desserts (there are a few easy recipes for baklava on YouTube ) and if he don't come to u after that play the guilt card tell him you did all this for him and he can't do that for you he will think about it for maybe a day or two and hopefully realize that u really want it that you don't just want it cuz ur bored

[StretchMarkQueen94]

Hey no fair then ur saying mines too old for me lol no just try nd get him in the mood like in the morning wake up befor him and play with him before he wakes up nd remembers what ur belly looks like don't let him peek at it get him in the mood once he's in the mood I'm sure he won't be able to say no

[40415]

I really dnt know what his problem is but the answer that comes to my head is he's too old for me

[40415]

He's just lazy lol nah I wouldn't cheat on him even though I know that many guys around my age are sexually attracted to me ( from his family) and being pregnant and cheating is just too funny with my belly in the way. I love him to bits and I know he does too but I get frustrated sometimes and even though my drive has lowered a lot it just upsets me why he doesn't ask for it ?

[StretchMarkQueen94]

If he doesn't feel comfortable having sex because of how pregnancy makes you look try asking him if turning off the lights would help so he couldn't. See and if he doesn't feel comfortable having sex because the baby's in there try having him just fondle you that's what my husband does when his drive is low tell him you just want him to feel your body it works for me it might work for you guys

[StretchMarkQueen94]

Yes absolutely normal but pregnancy just ruined it for me lol I just feel like a fat hippo lol

[StretchMarkQueen94]

These men are crazy they think the rights only apply to them haha but appreciate that your not in my shoes when I wasn't pregnant I always wanted sex and there were times he couldn't ummm perform if you will but now I just feel uncomfortable like sometimes it hurts sometimes I just feel gross like things that normally would get me in the mood bam they turn into an automatic turn off but he wants it every day like I had an urinary tract infection and the dr said no sex for a week he literally couldn't but please for the sake of Allah and your Iman don't cheat on your husband I'm sure he loves you remind him your bringing his child into the world and because of that Jannah is at your feet and the "deformities" most of them are only temporary like my husband he teases me about how big my belly is and how big my nose got because he knows they will go away but he knows not to tease me about the stretch marks as they may never go away remind him his job was easy the hard part was done by Allah swt and yourself

[40415]

As we are of the same age I wanted to ask u is my sex drive normal?

[40415]

Were both British pakistani if u get it lol. Relatives as well and our families are proper close.

[40415]

Aww ur so sweet thank you soo much !!!! Yeah I'm Muslim and I said to him that the angels curse u every night as it is my right . He dnt take me seriously . And yeah like u I only climax wen I masturbate. But I feel loved and I feel closer to him wen we have sex. And sometimes I do *** wen we have sex .

[StretchMarkQueen94]

By the way my husband and I are the same ages as you and your husband I 20 and he 28 I'm American from California originally and he is from Iraq where are you and your husband from

[StretchMarkQueen94]

I'm asking this so I can give you advice because I think I remember you from an older post, aren't you muslima? Is he also Muslim? If so he is neglecting you your marital rights and he is sinning. I wish my husband would leave me alone in that way every once in a while but every time I tell him I'm not in the mood he makes darn sure to remind me that as a married couple it is our right to be with the other as we please there have been time that I wanted to have sex and he did not and because it's my right he helped me reach pleasure just for me with no benefit to him so I know he was just doing it for me I can physically not climax without masturbating sorry tmi but I just want you to know I will not judge you, I'm a convert of two years so I wasn't born into the same criticism and if you need anyone to confide in who you know won't judge you and will give you honest advice I'm always here

[40415]

Thanks that's wat I need to do

[smallbby]

Dont tell his sisters. Tell ur friends or your sisters.

[smallbby]

Yea dont cheat it will ruin u guys. Dont leave unless that would make u happier. My guy sucked extra hard also very cold guy and before i got pregnant there was a period of time where he rejected me. 2012 our sex life was great but 2013 he put me through hell made me feel like a addict. He told me i would never give him the chance to crave me and one day i listened. I really stopped messing with him completely and things turned around. i agree with u punish him. Act different he will notice i promise he might even think u started cheating because u changed in that area. u wont have to cheat. But i will say when he is ready follow suite and have the best sex ever. But sum guys are jerks and get a rise out of hurting u, dont let him. So if hes making u feel like ur too pushy listen to him and act different give him what hes asking for. Ppl just want to feel wanted where the sex part doesnt even matter u probably are satisfying him by just letting him know u want him but u need to b satisfied also...

[40415]

Another thing I lost my virginity to him as well. Wen I fantasize abt other guys I feel guilty. But I have no choice as the only thing he wants wen we *** to the bed room is watch an episode of eastenders and go to sleep. I dnt know whether to tell his sister or not . I dnt want to ruin our relationship at the same time

[40415]

My face was swollen in the morning and my father in law was asking me why. My mother in law and sister in law assumed it was from the pregnancy . I just went along with them. What was I supposed to say? That I've been crying all night? Thanks guys for being there for me wen I was upset it was nice to hear ur replies x

[40415]

It's like if were watching eastenders and I'm in his arms he'll tell me to scratch his stomach. I'll take my hand slowly slowly downwards . And then he'll get frustrated and tell me off. He says it's not ur toy. It's not for u to play with. Then I explain to him that I just wanna hold it or watever. And then he'll hold my hand so I dnt touch him. I dnt get his behaviour and I know he's not cheating on me.

[40415]

Yeah I've calmed down now but I'm still mad at him . I want to ignore him and hate him but I cnt. I wish I didn't love him as much. As for the cheating I dnt know if I would really do it or not. I won't say that I wouldn't cuz if I'm not getting satisfied and then everyone has urges. But I would think twice for my baby . I wouldn't want to ruin his life and maybe that's wat would stop me. He's just lazy or God knows what. I dnt even want sex half of the time I just want to touch him and play with him and do stuff with him that I fantasize abt . I dnt want the straight get into bed and just take ur trousers off and over and done with in ten minutes. But he dnt understand cuz he's too mature for me. Now I have my baby so I cnt really do anything . It's just upsetting

[erin_loren]

I'm 24 and my husband is 29 and I can tell our sex drive is different with just a 5 year age difference. I find that he's in a bit of a slump at the age he's at. (Though I wont tell him that.) I'm also the one who always wants sex and I can tell that he's not always into it. He can go without at least a week or two and I need it a few times a week. So about 80% of the time I'm the one asking for it. We have an agreement not to turn each other down because we know that it's a need not a want. (Unless of course reasonably one of us is SUPER tired or not feeling well...ect.)
You really should talk to your husband about excatly how you feel and y'all should come to an agreement. I hope he would listen... I think it would help. He needs to understand that pregnancy makes the urges so much stronger... just ask my husband we've been having amazing sex! Your husband should be open to the same experience, he's the one missing out!
He shouldn't make fun of your body either. That's cruel. He is the one who put the baby in you that is changing your body.
And please, please don't cheat on your husband... I know you're mad but that would make things way harder... not just on your marriage but your baby too.
Hope it gets better! :(

[specialmom]

That's hard cause it sounds like you may have slightly different sex drives even before pregnancy.  It's so often the other way around where the man wants it more.  I think talking openly about your needs and then his compromising and you compromising is the best way to handle a difference in how often you want sex,.

I know right now it is super intense---  the desire can be any way.  Then I had my baby, and my sex drive plummeted.  I was at both extremes.  It felt best to just be in the middle.  But what can you do?  I wish your man would be more understanding to your needs.