Ok this is the last question for the day for me LOL! I was wondering when should we talk to our Doctors about the delivery room situation and who is allowed to be in there?? My best friend since i was in 3rd grade wants to be in there, but i just wanted my husband, my mom and sisters in there with me. I know shes going to cry and get upset if i tell her that i dont want her in the room...do you think she'd know that im lying if i told her my Doctor said immediate family only? Cause i know if i say only a certain amount of people are allowed in my room she'll ask "so which sister are you gonna tell cant come in?" Because she had already made it clear that she is going to be in the delivery room and that SOMEBODY BETTER CALL HER once i go into labor. I have made it clear to my sisters that they are NOT to call her LOL! Dont get me wrong, i love my best friend, but i just dont want her in the delivery room...ill have 5 people in there already and im not even sure if they'll allow me that many. Do you think im being mean?
It's your birth, and you should be able to choose whoever you want to be in there. When I gave birth to my first son, I only wanted my husband in the room, but it turned out my mom stayed because my husband was freaking out and wanted her in there. Let me tell ya, when I was in labor, I was oblivious to who was in the room at the time and I could have cared less!! lol BUT with my second son, my MIL and mother both wanted to be in the room, but I just said no, I only want my husband in there and that's how it was. I told them I may change my mind later, but for now this is my decision. As soon as he was born, they rushed in the room, which is fine! They understood, I mean I'm sure they were a little upset, but they got it. It was my birth and that's what I was comfortable with. This time around, I want my MIL, mother, maybe 1 SIL and a friend and my husband in the room!
Maybe your doctor does have a limit, I know my midwife said I should only have a few people because it will get too crammed, and she would be willing to enforce that rule as well if anyone else tried to come in. Maybe your doctor can say, you can only have so many people in the room and you can tell your bestfriend that's what the doc said!
Also, my midwife said have anyone you want around during labor, but when it comes time to pushing, those certain people who were not picked to be in there, should leave and she will make sure of it. Put it on your doctor!! lol that's what I would do. :P I don't want the whole world staring at my privates, so to me if someone gets hurt by that, they are being selfish. You can tell your bestfriend to come in after you have the baby if that's what you want. A best friend should respect your wishes and be understanding and supportive no matter what. I truly hope she understands and is not too hurt by your decision!
i dont think thats mean, its your legs up in the air with all the world to see ur hoo-ha lmao. It should be your decision. you can call and ask the hospital where you'll be delivering. they are the ones that actually control all of that.
Lol that is probably one of the main reasons i dont want her in there...i dont want her looking at my "hoo-ha!" hahahaha. Shes already saying things like "OMG its gonna be so funny when you go into labor!" or "I cant wait to see what a b!tch youre gonna become" or "i might faint and then the attention will be on me and not you" LIKE WTF!?!
Im gonna talk to my Doctor today and see if he can be the one to say "if you're not immediate family you must leave the room" LOL! I dont mind her being in there before and after, but i just dont want her in there when i push taking pictures of my private area lol! Cause that is something she would do!
it is your choice who all you want in there at the time...With my first my WHOLE family was in there, and I told my dr it was too much for me, so he kicked all them out but my DH and mom...but with my second and third, they allowed people in there up until I went through the pushing transition and then they only allowed immediately family which was DH and my mom again, and they almost didnt let her back in the room, I had to beg and tell them I would not push unless my mom could be in there to see her last granchild being born lol
I am so hoping my hospital only lets immediate family in lol! I only really want my husband and my older sister in there, because when my yougest sister went into labor my mother was so rude to the babys father and his mother! My mom loves my husband but i dont want her shoving my husband out of the way trying to take control of the situation. Its our first baby and i want him to experience it as much as possible. My oldest sister missed my little sister going into labor so this will be her first time seeing it and not delivering it lol. So shes pretty excited! Other than those two, i dont really want anyone else in there...im just telling my mom she can be in there to be nice LOL! My other sister said she nearly passed out watching our little sister in labor so she might not want to come in and my yougest sister and i dont really get along, so i might give her the boot as well LOL!
I had my MIL, aunt, mom, and husband in for both of my deliveries. with my first, there were also 2 nurses and 3 interns so it was a FULL HOUSE. I didn't care one bit. with my second delivery it was my aunt (left when I started pushing), mom, MIL (who delivered my son with the OB because she's an OB nurse), my OB and his one intern...it was nice.
It's totally up to you and you should have whoever you want and not feel guilty about calling the shots. but yeah let the doctor be the bad guy, usually they don't mind that and I GUARANTEE that they've done it before :-). I promise you won't care once things get really going though LOL
My hospital let's you have a max of two people in there so I had my mom and husband there. They say this is to help reduce stress on the mother and less people to get around if something goes wrong. Honestly it's your birth. If you don't want them there, say so. If she's a true friend she will respect that and not complain.
oh hubby was there for #2 too...but he's useless in the delivery room. I mean he held my hand and told me I was doing great, but he didn't take charge or do much more than help me a bit and look like a deer in headlights both times LOL
Yeah im a little worried about my privates being seen...i know i wont care once it happens and the main thing on my mind will be getting the baby out lol, but its the after math that im not looking forward to. My best friend likes to live in the past and i will never hear the end of it with the "that was so gross" and "i cant believe i watched that" and id just rather not hear it from her lol.
From all you're saying I think that you're 100% right not to have her in there, and whether you want to tell her or have the doctor tell her...stick to your guns so you don't feel even slightly uncomfortable during L&D. this is YOUR show. YOU choose the audience.
when my aunt came back in after Grey had been born she decided to start snapping pictures...well low and behold I open the folder and there are tons of pictures of my privates just hanging out there because she "didn't realize that I was in the background of several shots"...yuck. I requested for them not to get a mirror for a REASON, lol. Luckily whoever took the pictures after Kahlan was born managed NOT to get pictures of my...well, yeah.
Most hospitals do have limits on how many people can be in there with you. Otherwise, people like me and my sisters would have 20+ people in there cheering us on! LOL! Typically, hospitals only allow 2-3 people in your room at any given time.
It is YOUR choice on who you want in there. I would definetly try to talk to your friend and let her know your choice on who wil and will not be in there. If you leave her out at the last minute, she will probably be pretty upset. She is making jokes now, but I am sure you best friend wants to be there to suport you (and maybe make you laugh a little bit about your ginourmous jj)!
If you do want to share some of it with her, allow her in before and after the actual birth. If you just want your mom and hubby there, tell her only two people are allowed and those are the ones you chose. She can't really expect you to kick out your hubby or mom!
Finally, you might have to resort to my sister's tactic. She had to tell the hospital that she wanted a private birth. Meaning, if anyone called the hospital to see if she had checked in, they would say no. If she wanted you to know she was in labor, she would call you personally. My sister sent me a text message right before and didn't talk to me until about 10 hours after she gave birth. That was her choice and I totally respect it. However, if she had not said that was her wish, I probably would have been offended. I was able to call my mom and other sister to check on her and she was fine with that. She just wanted to focus on the task at hand and not worry about people looking at her, waiting on her, taking pictures, or whatever.
If you choose to go this route and be totally private, let the people you are telling know to not paste the info on facebook. You don't know who is friends with who and next thing you know, everyone will be blowing up your phone trying to reach you while in labor! My sister had to turn off her phone for 2 days to avoid the nonsense.
I didnt allow anyone in the delivery room when my son was born, except DF, the Dr. and ONE nurse.. I am the youngest daughter of my Mom's (I have 2 big sisters) and she was there for the birth of all of her other Grandchildren, so she felt entitled.. But I am different than my sisters and I didn't want anyone (except DF and necessary personnel) I kicked the anesthesiologist out... It's YOUR choice who is in there, and NO ONE should gove you hard time about your decision!! ;) My Mom got over it and so will your friend..
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