Depressed... What do I do, Where do I start?

[slzerbst]

Let me start from the beginning, during high school, I delt with depression, never seeking medical help for it because I could deal with it, and I knew it was because of the homral changes going through my body.  Now ever since I have been out of high school, and my body is offically done changing, I haven't had the emotional ups and downs like I use to.  

However, now that I am 18 weeks pregnant, I feel like I am going through the same emtional ups and downs, the only differeance is I can't control them.  I feel like balling myself up in a ball and just crying for hours, or laying in bed alone all day.  I have now will power to do anything.  And most of all when my friends ask me if I wanna' do something, I just start cying my eyes out.  I love my friends, however, I don't want any part of them.  Of all eles I don't want to involve them in this, I feel as though they'll look down on me.  Which makes me that much more depressed.  Another thing, last night when my hubby and I got home from easter, I didn't wanna' look at him, I just wanted to cry.  I felt as though, I was a failer, a nothing, basicially that I didn't need to be here any more.  And then when we got into bed, I didn't want him to touch me, however I did so badly.  I just needed him to hold me, whipe away my tears, kiss me and make everything better.  And today I'm the same way, not crying because my eyes hurt too bad, but I feel as though I need help and I'm not sure where to start or what to do, or if I just want someone to talk to, to hear me out, to make feel like I'm not so alone.  So what I really wanna' know is what or how everyone goes about talking to their doctor about this.  *sigh* I don't think I am crazy, and I defintally don't want to be comatose, I just want to be normal.  To feel happy when I should and defintally not as depressed as I have been recently.  So please lady's help me out.

[Michele, Katy, TX]

I have dealt w/ depression on and off since I was about 12.  I also always get PPD.  If you are depressed regularly now, you have a much higher risk of having that, which can be very dangerous when untreated.  I am sorry and I know how you feel, but you MUST speak w/ your doctor about this.  It is very important.  I can't stress it enough.  Also try the best you can to communicate w/ your husband.  Men have a hard time understanding our hormones until they become seasoned pros.  Well, I guess they never really become seasoned pros, but my husband understands a lot more now than he did when we had our first baby.  He didn't know which wife he was going to get from hour to hour sometimes.  Seriously.....

Don't go through this alone.  Talk to your doctor.  Talk to your husband.  Consider picking one friend to confide into.  Maybe even look into speaking w/ a counselor now.  You may even need that counselor after you have your baby.  Also, you may want to search the net and look to see if there are any local support groups in your area.  There very well may be.  And your doctor may even know of other sources to help.  Don't sit there silently in pain.  It's not healthy.  The sooner you open up to your doctor, the sooner you can get help and start to feel better.

You can PM me anytime if you need to.  I don't suffer from severe depression while pregnant.  I mean I have my bad days.  Believe me, but I do suffer from PPD after every pregnancy and it is truly awful so please take this next step.  You took the first one by posting on here :)

[Ania1]

It's normal that you may have crazy mood swings during pregnancy. My think was not cryint it was screaming. I mean I have cried and was very emotional at the begining of the pregnancy up to about 4 months, and now I am in month 8 - it's kind of comming back.
I think you should be open with your doctor, and even if he suggests you see specialist just believe it's for the best - for the good health of the baby. I've read some women get very depressed, and in those cases they should seek help.