Depressed...

[Bri_1985]

Anyone else feel like this was a bad time to get pregnant? I know there are women that dream of having kids and pray to conceieve. I wouldnt change anything either but I cant help but have some depression over it. Like I know God intended tjis for some reason but why now?

My husband has been having seizures since August 2012 and Drs cant determine why aside from possible epilepsy which theyve just discussed today. I dont have custody of my 7 yr old daughter, my 5 yr old has autism, my 2 yr old has devrlopmental trouble too, and Im trying to attend school to better improve our life. We currently live with my parents I only work 3 days a week which covers my car payment and thats it. My hubby cant drive til hes been seizure free for 6 months which recycles everytime he has a seizure and I have hospital bills out the *** as well as a student loan from a school that ****** me over that I cant pay anymore. Ive lost all my benefits from work so when I go on maternity leave I wont be getting short term disability.

Theres just so much going on right now that I feel like giving up.

[MandysBump]

CGoodwin, thanks for your words... even though O know they weren't meant for me... I can relate to your situation, because Im going through it right now, and needed to hear that...

[Zzzz12]

Its depressing seems like once u findout ur preg thinhs go down hill n problems only add up but at the end everything works it self out jst be patient stress is bad for baby

[Bri_1985]

Im having a boy, my third one. Dr and I both share concerns though that he might have issues like my other 2. I told him that its depressing to feel like I cant have a normal son that somewhere something goes wrong and I have boys with developmental issues. I know it sounds wrong but it feels like my fault because my 2 yr old and 5 yr old have different dads. My 7 yr old daughter, whose Father is the same as my 5 yr old, is smart as a whip taking advanced classes while in second grade. My sisters son is eating regular food and he just turned a year yet my 2 yr old still drinks a bottle and eats Gerber food but hes in therapy for feeding.

[Bri_1985]

Thanks goodwin. Trying to stay positive is hard, my hubby always rags on my pessimistic ways. I hope I can catch a break soon. Be perfect to get one while on my maternity leave. Im planning on looking for another job now that Ive gotten my servsafe certificate.

[Mizzztaylor]

Thanks Bri :) I can't say I've always stayed string though. :( I definitely had my moments. Lol. My moments of rage, moments if not getting out of bed and balling like a baby. It's weird how my whole perspective changed the second I had her. I know there are so many women in here who couldn't easily have babies and sadly quite a few who lost their babies. Reading their stories makes me feel sooooo guilty for feeling the way I did.
Are you having a boy or a girl?

[cgoodwin]

Oh hun, it will get better.
I first got pregnant the summer before my junior year of college. I was studying to become a teacher. December 15th, I was fired from my job, just over a month before my due date. That same week, my mentor told be that, even after grad school, the chances of me getting a job teaching was less than 25%.
My daughter was born, and for six months, we lived on my husbands pay. Then we moved to be near my parents. I went to school to become an EMT, like my husband, but the county requires a huge licensing fee. The bills at piling up, and suddenly I'm pregnant again, living in a tiny one bedroom apartment. We had no idea what we were gonna do.
Then, a few weeks ago, I got a call from a police academy I had applied to. They want me to cone take the enterable test. That same week, my husbands grandmother called and said one of get properties up by the academy had opened up, and she wanted to know if we wanted it. She arranged a rent to own agreement. His mom lives in town, and has offered to babysit, and his dad is letting us use his trailer so that we don't have to pay $500 for a moving truck.
Im saying all of this to illustrate that, eventually, you will catch a break. I know it's dark, but I promise that it will get better. Keep your chin up

[Bri_1985]

MizzTaylor if I had gone through what you have I know Id be feeling worse. I followed your posts during that time with your ex and was just amazed how you still managed to go through. If something like that happened between my hubby and I, I dont think I could handle it like you did.

[Bri_1985]

Im only strong because I have my boys that look up to me and the dream that I'll have my daughter again. My hubby is so supportive when his meds arent causing his mood to become Mr Hyde. My parents help when they can, my Dad especially pushes my attempt at a better life, but it for some reason makes me feel worse. Like Im 27 I shouldnt BE in this rut. Yet I am and it gets hard to stay strong. My hubby is my rock through everything and today the seizures he had that made us call an ambulance I was so scared of losing him.

[Mizzztaylor]

I felt that way when I found out I was pregnant. I had just gotten accepted into chiropractic school and attended my orientation. I was already to start and I found out I was pregnant. I couldn't even talk about it got the first three months or so. I finally started to get on board and my relationship fell completely apart and my bf left me complete on my own. I just had my baby girl 2 weeks ago and it was all worth it. Now I feel guilty for seeing it as such a horrible thing and I wish I had enjoyed the anticipation of my pregnancy a bit more.

[lovelylay]

I feel the same way but you know God did it for a reason I'm depressed and get sad also my baby's father treat Me horrible but I just pray God has a plan for me I still cry I still get sad but I know I have to be strong just like you have to be strong for your husband your kids and your unborn child its so hard when you feel your life is going downhill but he has a plan put it in his hands I can tell you I started praying new years and went to church and I have a job and I got back in school and last semester I was forced to drop all my classes we can't live in sorrow god counts our tears think positive and get positive outcomes I wish you and your family the best don't ever give up I been through hell in my life and I never felt so stupid in my life getting pregnant by a idiot but know at the end of the day God has my back if nobody else does

[krizi]

I just prayed for you hun, please dont give up, i cant say i relate to your situation cus i'd be lying, & couldnt possibly imagine how hard it must be for you right now but just have hope,remember that there's always light at the end of the tunnel & God has a reason for everything you're going through, you sound like a very strong person to me,i'd say just have a really good cry & let it all out! take care!