Do I have a chance?

[MelliMel18]

Hello ladies,

I was wondering of anyone of you wouldnt mind looking at my chart. I am 10dpo, and was hoping that i had a good chance this month. As of now the only symptom i have is tender bb's and my nips are sore. Surprisingly my temps are still a little high, but i dont want to read to much into it. By this time my temps start to drop. And according to FF my period is due in 3 days. I dont want to test just yet. It may be too early, and i am not up for a disappointment. I have been TTC for 6-7 months now, and hope this is my month. Ever since my m/c in Sept 07, i have noticed my LP has been a little wacky, and hope now it is getting back on track. Just wondering if i have a chance this month.

http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/1bc2a8

[MelliMel18]

Yeah, that is a great idea.  We really need a vacation.  But the only problem is that he just got a job as a correction officer, and is still on probation until the begining of July.  And planning a vacation is hard for him.  He kind of has to plan it in the off season bcause if someone comes along that has been there a lot longer than he has, he will get bumped. But a weekend getaway is nice, BUT, he works 4days on, and 3 off, and his last weekend off is this weekend.  his next weekend off isnt until June.  And in that time we already have plans to go to VA to see our BFF, and the new baby.  So it looks like 2009 may be the time. And we are planning on buying a house this year, so we have to be smart with our $$.  Its going to be a crazy year.  I hope we get a house, and a new baby in the future. I want to much to be a mom.  it is just the biggest joy in the world.

[mami1323]

Maybe your body is still adjusting.  It probably does take some time to get back on track.  Being a couple days apart shouldn't make much of a difference but it also could make a world of difference if you're not bding at the right times.  Sperm can live for up to 5 days though.  I think that these are great questions to ask your OB.  Why don't you and your hubby plan a vacation?  It will be relaxing and you can enjoy eachother without the baby making stress.  Maybe a weekend away.  

[MelliMel18]

I miscarried naturally. It actually happened so fast. I started spotting around 7 weeks, then started full blown bleeding. I went to the doctor, and passed the baby in their toilet. My doc examined me and everything was gone. She didnt even do a D&C.  Everythingwas gone.  Then i went for a follow up a few days later, and everything was totally gone. So the miscarriage went rather smoothly with no complications. The hardest part was flushing the toilet. I just balled my eyes out.  Thankfully it all went well and from what they could see there was no damage. I got my period exactly 4 weeks after too. I have noticed my period is a little shorter than before. I used to bleed for about 5 days. Now its down to two full days, with spotting a couple days after. I got my af 4/10, and its now over.  Could that have seomthing to do with it?  Why are my periods shorter?  I am gettng my af on average every 26-28 days.  So that is normal right?  One time i got it in 30 days, i freaked out, though i was pg. then the following month i got my af 24 days later. So in december i was 6 days late, and in january, I was 6 days early. Ironic how that all worked out.  So now i think i am back on track, although my ovulation days vary. 3 months ago, i got it 13 past my af, then the next was 14 days past af, then last month was 16 days past af.  It just seems things are wacky, and maybe not that things are getting a bit more on track it will happen. But you are right. I need to start enjoying my husband, and not making it a job.  That is not fun. I mean i am so sexed out from the last couple of weeks, we havent had sex since. And also his schedule is just so crazy.

[KM604]

I wonder all the time if there is something wrong with my body and if the miscarriage did any damage.  I also have a cyst on my left ovary, which they insisted had nothing to do with the miscarriage and that it was also nothing to worry about because of the size.  I also know that they usually don't do any testing until you've miscarried 3 times.  So that sometimes makes me realize it is more common than not.  My husband tells me not to think negative, but when I feel like this hurts me or that bothers me then I wonder.  If you are really concerned and it can't wait until your annual, I would call the OBGYN and see if they can examine you (or do whatever they would do in your situation).  Best of luck.

[mami1323]

I'm really not sure what happens after a m/c medically.  I don't think that your body was damaged to the great extent where you will be unable to conceive again.  There are tons of women who have a m/c and go on to have a healthy pregnancy thereafter.  You said you get severe cramping now afterwards, that might be something that you should bring to your OB's attention.  You can drive yourself crazy with all the if's, and's or but's about it but I think that you are fine.  Like I said, it took me close to 2 years to get pregnant.  Nothing was physically wrong with me.  Was your m/c a natural m/c?  

[MelliMel18]

That is what i am thinking. Maybe my body needs to heal some more. I dont know. I know you ladies say it takes a year, but damn. I got pregnant once, and so fast, why is it taking so long.  I lost the baby pretty early in my pregnancy. Around 8 weeks. So who knows.  LIke i said, i will wait a few more months and see. If i do not get preggo by august, then i assume something is wrong, and i am going to my OB.  I am only 26, and dont understand why i am having problems. And yes i got preggo once, but what is holding me back this time. SOmetime i wonder if the miscarriage done any damage?  Is that possible?  Or can my body not take pregnancy, that is why i lost the first one?

[KM604]

It is totally normal to feel this way - that's why I love this forum because you realize you are not the only one and there are people here to support you.  I had to learn to get over my frustration with my brother-in-law's g/f being pregnant because I realized I was pushing myself away from her and it isn't her fault I'm not pregnant.  She too noticed me distancing myself away from her.  So I would just be there to support your best friend and her happy day - knowing that you too will have your turn in her shoes.  I believe there is a reason for everything, just like my miscarriage - maybe there was something wrong with the baby.  Maybe we aren't pregnant yet because our bodies aren't ready?  We'll never know the answers but just know it will happen when it's supposed to.  

[mami1323]

Of course it's normal...I don't know how I would've handled having a m/c.  Especially when your bff is pregnant and giving birth around the same time you would've.  That must make it even harder.  I was sooo worried when I was pregnant that I would lose the pregnancy and I know I would've have been devastated watching my sil going through hers.  It's a loss, a great loss, but at some point you will have to move forward.  Can you do a little memorial or something to help you get through it?  I know that a lot of women on this site do wonderful things to pay tribute to their angel babies.  Maybe they can offer some great advice.  

As far as losing the weight, I think that's a great way to get your mind off of things.  I need to lose about 20 lbs of ugly baby weight that I gained.  

[MelliMel18]

Well I already told my BFF that i would be there. I mean, she really wants me there.  And i would want the same thing in return.  I dont know. I just need some closure, and in order to get closure, i feel i need to get pregnant again. That is the only thing i can think of that would help. I know it takes time, but the lord did not bless me with patience, and to see everyone around me get preggers, just makes me feel worse. Maybe this summer. I too am concentrating on losing some weight. I have gained 11 lbs since my miscarriage. That is insane!  That is how depressed i have been.  But now, summer is coming, and i have a contest in my family going on. Its the biggest loser contest. We started it the beginning of this month.  SO far i have lost 3lbs.  Which is not a lot, but to lose 3lbs in 1week and a half is not too bad. My goal is to lose about 25-30lbs total. I am hope i can lose 20lbs by the end of May. I also have a wedding that day. So i have a lot of things going on, but i just cant seem to get over this baby hurdle.   Am i crazy?  Is this normal to feel this way after 7 months?

[mami1323]

Oh man, that's so difficult.  I know, my friend's wound up pregnant all at the same time and the entire time I had been struggling to get pregnant.  That must be hard that you were both pregnant at the same time.  Would she understand if you were to tell her that it may be too emotional for you to handle?  It sounds to me that your body is playing tricks on you.  I think you being preoccupied would help.  I know how you feel about the teenagers getting pregnant.  My fiance's sister got pregnant 3 weeks before me but I found out a week after she told me about her pregnancy.  She was 25 at the time, she just met her daughter's father and got pregnant.  She was so not ready to have this baby.  But when I found out I was really angry.  It was so unfair that she got pregnant.  It turned out that I was also but I didn't know.  See you have to go back to actually enjoying sex, right now it's work.  Maybe this summer...you never know.

[MelliMel18]

There is an ounce of my that believes it will happen. But the rest of me is in denial.  I jsut cant figure out what is wrong. It took me 3 months to conceived the first time, and now 7 months. WTF?!?! Something must be wrong, and i have noticed since my mc, that i have strong PMS symptoms about 6dpo.  What is that about?  I have very achy bbs, cramps, headaches, bloatedness, etc. I am at the point of giving up!  I am so upset, i just want to go back on the pill, and forget about having a baby!  Its just to much. And my BFF got pregnant 2 weeks before i did, and she is due in two weeks. That is killing me. My due date was May 18th.  That is going to be the roughest day ever! Why does it take this long.  Meanwhile you have the 16 year old girls who have sex once and BOOM they have a baby. While we have sex every day of our fertile week, and still nothing!  I am so tired of disappointment. Thankfully now we are house hunting and starting that whole process so my mind is a bit preoccupied, until my BFF baby is due. And what worse, is she wants me there for the birth. How am i going to deal?

[mami1323]

I used to ask myself the very same thing.  All my friends got pregnant so easily, I thought something was wrong with me because it was so difficult.  That's how I found this site.  Let me tell you, one time my fiance misplaced my basal body thermometer and I ripped him a new a-hole.  I blamed him for ruining another month of temps and just went psycho on him.  That's when I knew it was time to stop temping or charting.  It took me over a year to get pregnant.  It became such a chore, scheduling sex.  We couldn't do it too much because we had to build up his supply but if we didn't do it, then we miss our window.  It was all too much.  That's why I'm saying sometimes the best thing to do is forget about baby making and enjoy just being with eachother.  It is good though to have those charts just to show your doctor.  Just to throw some statistics out there....it takes the average couple over a year to conceive their first child.  There is only a 20% chance of getting pregnant every month.  That's not a high percentage.  Don't stress yourself out.  It will happen.

[KM604]

I completely understand where you are coming from.  I was talking with my husband about this yesterday.  I have been off the pill since August 2007, fell pregnant in November or December and miscarried in December 2007.  Still not pregnant now and I really want to be.  My brother-in-law and his g/f are expecting, they are 19 and 20 - it was unplanned.  It makes me so jealous - why are they pregnant when they didn't want to be and I'm not?!  Plus, my husband and I have been together for 8 years and our families are ready for us to be pregnant.  I tracked our BDing from August to November but stopped because I still wasn't pregnant (when I miscarried I didn't even know I was pregnant).  Now, I still don't track it or my ovulating (I do track cramps or CM - only when noticable) because I don't want to become bosessed with it or make my hubby feel forced to BD.  He's suggested that I track my BBT but I don't want to start doing that either because I don't want to give my hopes up.  I understand how you feel and it is so frustrating!! My OBGYN told me before, if it has been 6 months and I'm not pregnant he usually suggests tracking BDing and ovulation.  Then from there, if no luck then he would look into other options.  I would call your OBGYN unless you are willing to wait for your July appointment.  Like my OBGYN said, at least you know you can conceive :) Good Luck with everything.

[MelliMel18]

Thanks.  I think i should stop the whole charting thing all together.  That itself can become an obsession.  Every day waking up, taking your temperature, checking our CM and CP, that is all too much.  I am just going to let it bee, and its even harder to time BDing.  Hubby works 2nd shift, and this month he works the whole time i am fertile and ovulating. So the only time to BD is 1am.  That is so crazy.  At this rate i wont get peggers for a long time. Gosh, why is this so hard?  I dont want to schedule making love to my husband this way.  Its not healthy, and whats worse, it takes the fun out of it.  I just think its ridiculous that it has been 7 months since my m/c, and stil nothing. I am worried. Is something wrong?  I have my annual check up in July. Maybe i will wait until then to talk to my ob.  It will then be almost  a year of trying. Gosh how time flies. I just want to conceive naturally  and not use any drugs such as clomid, or whatever. I mean i conceived once, question is, when will it happen again?  

[mami1323]

I'm sorry you got AF, I know how frustrating that feeling is.  I think taking a break is the best thing to do.  I did and I wound up preggers so you really never know.  The stress of it all can be unbearable.  Good luck hon and hang in there.

[xxangel]

hiya aww so sorry to hear that your got your af!! :) never give up hope tho hun. keep us posted xx

[MelliMel18]

Well, got my AF today!  DAMN!!!!!  I tell ya, these BBT are so deceiving.  I have to take a break from baby making. Its kills me every month i get my af. This is making me crazy.  Got to give it a rest for a while.

[MelliMel18]

i hope you are right. I went to pee a little while ago, and noticed the lighted brown on the tp, i think af is coming. DAMN!  here goes month #7.

[mami1323]

Well it happened to me when I was planning my wedding.  Little bugger decided to say hi when I purchased my wedding dress....lol.  It very well may happen for you now.  The house thing will definitely keep your mind preoccupied.  Try not temping for awhile and just enjoy sex again.  I stopped enjoying it, it became a job.  You will be ok, I have faith, and before my son I had barely any.  It will happen.  Good luck.

[MelliMel18]

Thanks.  I know.  If i forget about trying to have a baby, it will happen. We are in the midst of house shopping, and plan to buy very soon. I know that will take my mind off of it for a while.  That is when it will happen. I bet!!!  I will keep the faith, and pray it will happen. And you are right, i got preggo once, it will happen again.  I HOPE!!!

[mami1323]

The mind does that when we want it so bad.  It took me over a year to get pregnant.  I can't imagine how a m/c must feel but the thing is you are able to get pregnant.  It sucks waiting...I can remember each month going by and getting more and more frustrated.  I literally got pregnant when I got sick of trying so hard.  It was completely unexpected and looking back now the symptoms were slightly different from the af symptoms.  I sent you a little note a couple of days ago wishing you luck.  The ladies on this forum were the only ones that got me through all the months of ttc.  Hang in there, it will happen to you to.  Sticky baby dust.

[MelliMel18]

Yeah, i am going to wait. This is just the most annoying thing in the world. WAITING!!!  I hate that my body has changed so much since the m/c.  And now that af and preggo symptoms are almost the exact same, its hard to tell anything apart, other than if you test.   I feel my body is playing tricks on me. I hate that.

[Mommy3Girls]

I never charted or kept track of any of this, but it may be too early still. Wait and test again the day after you miss AF. Good luck!!!

[MelliMel18]

So my temps are still up, but no sign of af. Tested is am, and got a BFN! WTF?!?!