Everyones fighting over my baby :( Vent!!

[ammanda]

.  Its so stressful. my baby is only 9 days old.  and me and hubby wanted to go out on Memorial day, well the day before. so my mom asked if she  could babysit. and i told her yea if we go.  and i have wo other sisters so my mom has 4 grandchildren.  well my Df is mad cause i didnt ask him mom to babysit.  and hes using the excuse that my mom already has 4 grandchildren and his mom only has this one. and that her first grandchild passed away. Which would be my DFs first son 2 years ago,  Yea i understand that you know, but shell get a chanch, we got his whole life you know, hes only 9 days old. lol.  Plus we were gonna go out the weekend after that too for DFs bday and she asked if she could babysit that day.  So im just irritated, that everyones gonna fight over him, so im thinking im just never gonna go out and never leave him, and no one will watch him.  lol..  Ugh sorry for the story im just so irritated with it all.  Its like Df is saying my mom shouldnt be aloud to see her new grandchild cause she already has three others.. u know.. Df is so irritatin, plus my mom actually surprised me and finally quit smoking in the house, his mom has not. they think its okay if they just dont smoke when hes there, but that **** lingers u know..  I understand there pain and excitment for a new grandchild, but that doesnt mean my mom should have to miss out.  and besides that it was convienant, cause my sisters the one that invited me out to this, and my mom was sitting right there, and my mom is the one that is watching my sisters daughter so my mom said since she had my niece shell take Cole too.  I just dont think its a bitg deal. and i told his mom my mom volunteered first, so now shes like all sad, and posting **** on facebook about wanting to pay us to watch him. so now when Df sees that hes gonna be even more mad and demand that his mom watch him.. so i guess i have become a full time mommy, and i will never get a day to my self. not that i mind cause i love my son dearly, but it would be good for me to get a day by myslef since i am a stay at home mom.  

[LosingMyMindInGA]

Geez, this makes me thankful in a way that I DON'T have family aruond here, atleast none that could/would watch our kids or are close enough to.  Even if they were, DH and I would both agree on MY Mom over his any day of the week.  Even he says his mom is a nutcase LOL.  We have let my BIL & SIL watch them overnight but that turned ugly.  Dhs' mom was there and she made my 6 yo wear a damn diaper becuase she wanted to sleep on the couch instead of the floor. Needless to say DH gave his mom absolute H-e-ll and she no longer is allowed to watch out kids.  The crazy witch even had the nerve to blame US saying we didn't tell her that a SIX YEAR OLD didn't need to wear diapers...OH COME ON.


Frankly if I were in your situation I would tell em all "If this is how it's gonna be you can ALL forget it, I'll stay home and keep my own kid until ya'll can learn to GROW UP"  But that's just me.

I'm sorry your having to go throught his, it ***** when family acts like a bunch of elementary kids.  

[Limonada]

I wouldn't be leaving my newborn in a smoker's house either - mother, mother-in-law or not!  I'm actually thankful that we don't have any family who smokes, because even the thought of someone who smokes HOLDING my baby bothers me.

My mom passed away 8 years ago and never got a chance to meet my little boys - which breaks my heart.  So, in that sense, I can see what your fiance is saying with regards to how his mom got cheated out of being a grandma the first time and deserves to be able to make up for it now.  I was pretty resentful of my own MIL at first when our first son was born because I thought that it just wasn't fair that SHE got to know my kids and my mom was completely ripped off, dying at age 53 before she had the chance to be a grandmother.  But.....I got over it.

Personally, I think you're very fortunate to have more than one family member that wants to watch Cole - we live in a different city than our family, and no one ever asks if they can babysit for us.  We mainly rely on friends or a neighbourhood girl that we trust.  Still, I'm sure that it's uncomfortable for you, feeling as though you're always offending or disappointing or hurting someone.  I think that everyone just needs to relax......Didn't you say that your fiance's mom had already offered to babysit for you so that you could go out for his birthday?  Why don't you remind her of that kindly, and let her know just how much you appreciate her offers to babysit and indicate that you're going to do your best to be "fair" to all parties.  Since she's a smoker, I'd suggest she babysit at YOUR house, if possible.....and not smoke around your little one.

Good luck!  :-)

[Cassandrajane]

This is pretty much the same and I only found out i ws pregnant YESTERDAY! and my boyfriends brothers sister is due anyday soon, an our Mother in law (Our boyfriends mum) wants to have her daughter and take her to an airshow but she will only be a week old, and my sister in law type thing doesnt want her going that young and she'll be breastfeeding aswell but our mum in law wants the baby to herself, and when she said no she got all upset, and its going to be the same with my baby, and I wont want anyone havin it over night untill its over a year, becausee im not like my boyfriends sister who goes out every night and doesnt give a **** who she leaves her son with. And that bugs me. So we all duno what to doo with our kids my boyfriends sister doesnt care what she does with hers but me and my boyfriends brothers girlfriend do, because our mother in law cant walk properly and our father in law always has a bad back. Soo and we dont want to hurt them.

But yeahh its all confusing so I know what you;re going through, nd I aint even had mine yet. and they're already deciding!! Arghh.

I think you should take it in turns and just sit them both down and be like LOOK!!!
i'm not going out just yet andd I want some time with my son for a while. you will get your turn he has his whole life, he is only young and needs to adapt to his surroundings before he gets pulled from pillar to post..

Good Luckk x

[Ashelen]

Hmmm that *****! I don't know but in my personal experience I never would have gone out and left the baby with someone else until she was at least a few months old, even Grandma, and even just for a few hours...but that's just me! Since you have decided to go out...it's just one of those things you're going to have to deal with until they get used to him being around and what it is you want from them as grandmothers. Cole is in his adorable newborn stage so right now everyone wants to gobble him up I'm sure, and once he's been around awhile I'm sure feelings will be hurt less when you choose one or the other to babysit....but I personally wouldn't leave him with the one who still smokes IN the house, period. And that's enough of a reason. "I can't leave my 2-week-old who is VULNERABLE TO SIDS in the house of a smoker, sorry!"

[Raerae336]

I had this exact same problem because my daughter was both my mom's first grand child and his mom's first grandchild soo it was always a big fight. i had my mom watch my daughter the first time we went out just because i felt more comfortable Knowing i could call at whatever time anD not feel stupid lol.. then we went camping and dh's mom took my daughter. We just tried to even the score lol which worked to Our advantage lol! now i have two daughters and it got to The point where we just have assigned days that they take them. it will get better i swear just hang in there everyone is just excited. keep reminding your man that His mom will have him on his birthday which isn't far away. or make her feel more useful by just calling her and asking her questions like what works best for diaper rash.. even if you know the answer she'll feel more included or invite her over to watch him while you go grocery shopping if she lives close enough. Hope things get better for you!