Frustrated, please help me!

[Socalledchaos119]

I need advice and help on breastfeeding, I'm so frustrated right now.  My baby was born 12/16/11 (friday evening) she was 35 weeks at delivery. Because she is early she is having issues with latching and sucking.  I haven't had a lot of help with what to do or how to do it.  I have very large breasts and nipples.  Positioning is hard for me.  I ask for help at the hospital but they would just give me theories and leave the room.  Then I was told I needed to pump to get a supply because she was premie and needed time to learn the sucking instinct.  They started me syringe feeding with supplement formula, attempting latches, and pumping.  The next day they decided they did not like syringe to start using bottle nipple while getting her feed, attempting latching, pumping.  All promising in theory that she will magically latch after my milk comes in and we practice.  But no one takes time with me and I'm left doing the best I can with theories while scamming the net for any tips or tricks I can come up.  I feel like I'm constantly under a magnifier while trying to feed cause my stupid fiancé just stares at me cause he wants to do things and I'm pressured to involve him 24/7 and I'm so up tight at stressed ad selfconcious I can't relax, I'm always on the verge of tears, I fumble with her, my breast, bottles, syringes, his ever looking eye constantly tryig to touch her while I'm trying with no real help just theories to get this right.  I don't know what to do.  I want to be 100% alone while tryin to feed to see if relaxing helps, but he is so pushy.  My breasts are starting to have a supply, so I want to help her learn to latch and suck.  Ahhh!  I just...I'm confused and now I'm rambling.  Please someone help me!  I'm to the point I just need someone to tell me what to do.  I don't even know if this made any sence :(. Now I just can't stop crying!

[Shannon79]

I had issues like that when trying to breastfeed my son, but he was full term +.

What I eventually discovered when he was 8 months old was that he had torticollis (sp). Which is a shortening of the neck muscles on one side. He had to go to a physiotherapist to do exercises with him to stretch them out. So I never got to breastfeed him because it was too painful for him.

I do believe this happened because I had him by c-section and the doctor pulled him out the wrong way. But of course the doctor's would never admit to that.

I'm definitely not saying this is your situation because it's probably not, but just wanted you to be aware of something like that.

The other ladies have shared lots of info. And the best one is to definitely relax. Like it was said, baby can sense your tension. When you are not relaxed, your milk will not let down.

Good luck and let us know how you make out

[Kendraerika]

You need to next able to relax, even if it means kicking daddy out. Ask him to get you something from the store, then try when you are relaxed. Baby can sense your tension.

[Pyps]

Breast shield is the only thing that worked for me, it helps your nipple to form like a bottle. They sale them a babiesrus or any breast feeding supplier. Good luck, stay calm your making it harder on both you and baby by being so up set.. It will happen! :)

[Socalledchaos119]

Omg I was doing so well and typed all this stuff to send you and my stupid phone messed up!  It's my only source of net and now I wanna cry again!!  I'm gonna try to sleep and then write it again..I just can't right now.  But I really appreciate your response and will be trying to find you again if that's ok :(

[ku111]

Ok.  I am going to try and help.  First, everything is ok.  They are learning just as you are.  It can be frusterating the first 2 weeks for sure.  The football hold is usually easier for them at first.  Unless you have a nipple that stick out like a bottle you will have to help your baby get it in her mouth.  In a "C" hold with your thumb up top and your fingers under the nipple pich up around the brown part aound your nipple.  You will probably have a drip of milk there and the baby will smell it.  When she opens her mouth wide (may take a few attempts) put your nipple in there and hold it pinched up until she gets a good latch.  You will want to pump after she tries to nurse and can feed her the pumped milk.  But always attempt to nurse first.  There are nipple shields you can get from Target or your breastfeeding clinic if you have one.  They go right over the nipple and can help.  Always try to nurse first without but if the baby gets really frusterated go ahead and put it on.  This will be needed less and less as the baby gets stronger and masters nursing.  You will need to pump after (dual pump 15 minutes) because their tongue and the way they nurse brings in your milk supply better than any pump.  It sounds like you are very tired.  This causes a lot of problems too.  If all else fails and you are so tired you can't keep doing this pump and have dad feed her the bottle and you get some sleep.  You will have a new look on life with just a little sleep.  It is ok!  She will not stop nursing with a bottle every once in awhile.  But you will stop nursing if you don't get some rest and stop feeling defeated.  Bless your heart!  I wish I was there to help you.  I am a nurse and help with nursing all the time.  This does get better in a few weeks.  This is normal to be frusterated at first.  Some (very few) just nurse like a champ.  Most need a little extra help.  My kids acted like they didn't know how to suck and we had a difficult time but they got it.  Hang in there!  Write me back if that doesn't work for you and we will try to figure something else out.