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Funeral/wakes
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Funeral/wakes


As most of you know, my Dh grandpa died on Monday. The funeral and wake are all on the same day. I just wanted to know how you feel about having young children at these services. My son is just over 2 y/o and I don’t know if he should attend? This is not the first funeral/wake we have been to since he was born, we have been to 5 since then, but all the times he was a little guy and now he’s a little older and is starting to get things. And they have all been on my side and I know none of my family judge, they loved having him there. It brought smile's to there face. I don’t like the idea of my son being around and has never gone up to the cased.  I guess I just want to know the “rules” of having kids at funeral/wakes if there is One? I just don’t want someone to be like “ I cant believed she brought her child”.

Any thoughts
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11 Comments Post a Comment
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210400_tn?1325384170
I think it may be easier for you if you don't bring him. He is still pretty little and wouldn't understand what is going on, but may be disruptive. I think a lot of people bring kids to funerals it would be more of a personal choice, but like I said it may be eaiser to not bring him. Sorry for your families loss.
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326590_tn?1296066049
I would say leave him with someone. He won't remember this day. That way you can focus on your husband. I have a 2 1/2 yr old and I think he would just be too busy to sit still. It might cause more stress for you...May peace be with you and your family at this time of loss.
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Avatar_f_tn
Thanks guys....
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354373_tn?1299188126
Also, see what your Dh wants to do....he may want him there for distraction......I don't think that there are any 'rules' on it...Whatever you feel comfortable with....If it was a non-family members funeral, I would say to maybe get a babysitter, but being it's family, everyone might like to see him.
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327668_tn?1224795950
Actually I don't think it would be a huge issue. I went to a funeral and wake when I was 4 and I still remember it. I actually brightened everyone's day being there. I am glad that I went. I loved my Uncle.
My sister in law took her 5 year old to her father-in laws wake and funeral 2 years ago as well, and everything went well. It really depends on your child's behavior.
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290018_tn?1240369468
my son is 3 will be 4 in march.  He is very advanced and we let him attend my husbands grandfathers visitation...he was very okay and seemed to understands very much what was going on.  I took him to my family's house about 1/2 way through simply b/c he was acting like a wild child...after that I didnt attempt to have him try and sit through the entire funeral.
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Avatar_f_tn
My son is a good boy, he listens very well. So I dont think him acting out would be a prob. My Dh does wants him there.
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Avatar_f_tn
You should take your son. The wake part of a funeral is everyone milling around, talking, eating some little snacks, etc. (at least that is what we did at my mom's).

As for the funeral part, if he's not misbehaving, totally have him stay! My mom died when I was 2 months pregnant and my bro brought his little ones. No one thought of them as nuisances.

Maybe bring a babysitter/neighbor with you so that if your son does get rambunctious, they can take him to another room and play with some toys with him/supervise him.
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290018_tn?1240369468
then I say take him.  
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327668_tn?1224795950
Then he should go. Make sure you bring a bag of goodies, whatever you may need to keep him occupied. But if DH wants him there and all then I see no problem in bringing children.
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Avatar_f_tn
Another thing, this is YOUR family. This isn't like going to a friend's grandpa's funeral. This is your family's personal loss and tragedy, so take the little one! I have a 2 1/2 year old and she does great.
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