I have one son - 6 and half months old. I am 15w3d pregnant. Went for regular check up this morning with NO expectation to find out the gender. But the doctor blurted out "Oh, its a boy!". I really hope it is a girl. Last time, i did not find out until 19 weeks. This time, i did not expect to find out so soon. I wish I could still hope for another 4 weeks and not to find out this early and knowing that it is not a girl. Before knowing, I said to myself " I will be happy either way as long as it is healthy" but again, easier said then done..
I cried in the car driving back to office. I always wanted a girl because i want her to be close to me just like the relationship I have with my mom. I know with boys, i will feel detached.. not be able to share soccer/football fan with them and not be able to advice them on boy's stuff. I will feel alone..
The doctor knew i have a son so she kinda try to convince me that there is still a chance that it could be a girl. That people make mistake. But I knew it my heart what I saw on the screen.. it was clear as day.. it is definitely a boy.. And i know it is unlikely a girl will be mistaken as a boy..
Am i bad mother for feeling this way..? is the doctor right..? will they be any hope..? i dont know if I will want to get pregnant again the 3rd time.. so i really hope i will be the lucky one to have a boy and a girl.. and now..i guess not..
Actually you're not a bad mother for feeling this way. You have secretly built up an expectation and when it wasn't met you felt crushed. You have to grieve that the baby isn't a girl and embrace that you're having another son, a playmate for your other son!
Anytime we "lose" something we have to grieve it. In a way, psychologically, you lost the expectation and hope of having a baby girl. Let yourself grieve. It'll all be okay and you'll love your newest son passionately!
I havent seen you on in a while but I remember you cause of your situation:) Similar to mine, lol:) I guess there could be a small chance that the tech could be wrong. There is nothing wrong with you to be dissapointed that you have another boy on the way but I dont think that feeling will last for too long. When I found out my 3rd baby was a boy , I cried, and then I felt horrible, it took a few days but then I began to get excited about having another boy. I am on baby #4 now and I find out the gender tomorrow, and I am hoping for a girl because this is my last. I have told myself over and over that it is a boy just so I wouldnt be surprised and upset, but deep down I know it will be hard to hear. I will love this baby no matter what. I am sorry that you arent having a girl this time, maybe God has another baby in store for you down the road.
I am in a very similar situation to you, this is gong to be my third child i have 2 little boys already, 7yrs and 5 yrs old and i finally said well im trying one last time for my little girl and at 12 wk scan last wk they said they couldnt tell but i pressed them for an answer and a more senior dr came in and said ok i will have a guess for you and she said shes about 60% sure its another boy :( i cant describe what i felt to you, i was stunned shocked and felt guilty for feeling like this, we want a girl so badly we even tried the timing (shettles) method this time.
I was gutted that day and the next and i guess i still am but in the last day or so ive been a bit better, im praying its a little girl but i think will be a boy, i know what it feels like and i was sure my second son was a girl, then when we found out he was a boy i was saddened also, but third time it feels worse as im sure this will be my last, we recently took out a loan for a new car
$15000 and now im thinking damn i wish we had just paid the $13000 that you can pay for them to do sex selection isnt that bad? i feel terrible and guilty and bad for it!!!!
i do love having 2 boys tho they are great mates and get on so well they share clothes toys etc!
im praying for you tons of pink dust to us xxx
If ever you want to talk pm me xx
Looks like alot of same gender in multiple pregancys, when did everything stop becomeing one of each, lol:) My two SIL's have the oppisite problem, they cant seem to have anything but girls!! Im thinking pink for you, and me too!!
i thk its the God who decides wats gud for us...wat if u were havg a girl with sm kind of defect..thn...wud u b ble to bear it...i know its easy to say but diff to accept but believe me Gods our best decision maker...so jus chil...
I have 3 boys and I can relate to how you feel. However, do not be discouraged. My boys are some of the best athletes you will ever see and there is nothing in this world i enjoy more than watching them play their sports. Yea sure, there dad may be the one who takes them to most of their practices, etc. But I don't miss a ballgame (ever!) and I absolutely LOVE it. Just wait, you'll see! Your son will be unique and special in his own way and you will absolutely cherish him, no doubts. =)
i'm making boy number four, and have no girls!!! i was quite upset for a few days and to be honest i still feel a little disappointed. however, i have started to get excited about it now and i know once the baby's here i'll be extatic regardless of it's gender.
Tabitha, thanks for your comment. I am always here, reding everyone's post..not necessarily replying cause sometimes I am just too lazy put my fingers on the keyboard.I pray for a girl for you.. let us know.
Joy, thanks for your reply. It makes me feel better that I still feel dissapointed up to this hour. I was on shopping mall just now, and saw all these cute little baby girls.. and i could not help but to have teary eyes..if it wasnt because i am in the mall, i will be bawling hard..I wanted a girl so bad because i am the only girl in my family.. i have 2 brothers and always dream of having sister myself...once married, i thought, a little girl would be as exciting...
bimbicat, oh yeah.. that thought of having gender selection did cross my mind.. once this one is born, if we decide to try for another one, i know there is still 50% chances it will be another boy.. and i am dreaded that one day i will have 3-4 boys with no girls.. after what i have gone through today, i dont know whether i would want to risk myself for another disspointment... your scan at 12 weeks is still a little early.. i am sure your odds for having a girl this time is still adequately high.
35momofboys.. good to know that there are moms outthere like you that can convince me that it will be fun either way.. i need that kind of assurance.. i am really afraid that i will be left alone at home..and not having a daughter to share all the girl's stuff with..
thanks for everyone comment. I know i should be grateful that i will have healthy baby..but deep down inside i cant help to wonder when will i get the chance to be a mother to a little girl that i always dream of. oh well, i will feel better in a few days.. just need to give this 'feeling' a few days.
My husband thought he wanted a little boy the first time we were pregnant...he figured he would know more of what to do with a boy than a girl. of course he felt a little disappointed when he found out it was a girl, but quickly came to terms with it. This time he wanted girls because he found it so wonderful having a little girl.
I am sure you will be happy with your little boy and have a very special relationship with him.
Just remember, the phrases "mama's boy" and "daddys girl" had to come from somewhere!!!!
Congrats on the pregnancy girl!! I didn't know you were pregnant again :)
It's okay to feel disappointed just like Joy said. I totally understand your reasons for wanting a girl. I had a boy first and then several years later, I now have 4 girls and I love having girls for your same reason. We have things in common with the girls that we don't with boys. I am so glad my son has my husband and he prefers to be with my husband and that's okay with me. It doesn't hurt my feelings. It just makes me happy that he has my husband because I was a single mother with him until I met my husband. He had my dad, but I wanted him to have an actual father figure. And now he does and has for the last 9 years. He will be 16 this summer.
But also like Joy said, you will have a playmate for your son and that is the best gift you can give your child. I, like you, only had a brother. No sister. And I always wanted to have someone to share everything with, but I don't have anyone in my life like that. So, my 4 daughters have each other and I am so glad. They are really lucky. My 2 oldest daughters (ages 7 and 6) say they are best friends. I even saw a note from my oldest daughter to one of her friends at school saying that Rachel (my 6 year old) is her first best friend so she said Meagan (her friend from school) will have to be her last best friend. It was really cute. You will be giving that same gift to your son (assuming the doc was right and you are having a boy). When I see my daughters together, it actually makes me tear up and cry sometimes just out of shear joy because I am so glad they have each other. They are so luck and don't even know it. Maybe someday they will.
they ladies, i went in for an ultrasound at 16 weeks and the tech was 90 percent sure it was a girl but wanted us to come back (it was a 3d one also) just for assurance. we came back the next week, so i was 17 weeks and low and behold, it was a boy. so the techs can totally be wrong. mind you the same tech did mine each time. maybe the babys cord was between its legs which can make it look like a boy.
I think it's totally normal to feel the way you do. So let yourself feel it and move through it. Once you see your baby boy and hold him in your arms, you'll forget all about it. I have cousins with both and cousins with all of one sex. The one thing they all say is how much easier it is when they're all the same. My husband was disappointed when we found out our 3 yr old was a girl. I was very excited since I thought (at the time) she'd be the only child we'd have together. He's got a 10 yr old girl from a previous marriage and really wanted a son. As we left the hospital he seemed very down and upset. I asked him why he couldn't be happy that she was healthy, and he said he felt like he lost a little something and needed to grieve, but that he'd come around in time. It goes the same way for us moms.
I've also heard that ultrasounds before 18 weeks are not very accurate. The most common mistake is they tell you it's a girl and it's really a boy because the boy parts hadn't dropped yet. They don't usually mess up telling you it's a boy since the cord is a lot longer than his boy parts would be. My DH thought he saw boy parts in one of the pictures and he got all excited before the tech told him to calm down and she'd look for the sex at the end of the scan. She then told him it was the cord and if that was really boy parts we'd have a porn star on our hands...LOL
Michele, yes, i am pregnant again.. not a plan one..but i was getting excited thinking i am getting a girl but oh well.. oh you have 4 girls..? i am jealous..i would love to have 4 girls..now looks like i may be having 4 g boys instead.. :P
leighanne, i did now that one week would make that much difference..? but i guess it is more common to be mistaken a boy for a girl than the other way around.. i dont know.. but now i think i have just have to resign to the fact that i have to get pregnant again if i want a girl, otherwise, then maybe i should just settle down with 2 boys... mmm..
Maryjof, I know how your husband feels.. he is probably afraid he wont be able to do 'boy' stuff just like i am worried not be able to do 'girl' stuff.. but i am sure he gets the idea how fun a little girl can be by now.. and i am sure he wont trade her for the world.
Thanks everyone for your comment.. I feel better today, still dissapointed but okay... i started to tell people now that i maybe having another boy..and i agree that they will grow to be best friends and i am sure one day, if god is willing, i will be having my own little princess that i always dream of.
lol most women have some expectation either way me personally have one girl and want another although i secretly crave a lil boy i tell myself that if i have another girl my daughter will have a best friend in house to play with all the time. so if it is a boy just think of how much fun your SON will have with him. much more than a lil girl i am sure... so cheer up your hormonal that is probably why you had such a strong reaction you love the baby either way even if your hormones are messing with you
I know someone who had an ultrasound to find out the gender at around 18/19 weeks and they told her it was a boy. she just went today for another ultrasound and its actually a girl! lol so i would say that at 15 weeks they could be wrong.
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