I just want to cry........

[chitten]

Having another of those totally emotional days.

P*ssed off with my friend too - I told Ross (ars*hole ex/father) that he wont be getting immediate shared care and wont be having the baby overnight access until i know i can trust him (which i think is fair)

My friend now saying that i might not even bond with the baby as some babies dont bond with their mums. Shes also saying he should be involved and have access.

I already have bonded with my baby - s/he is the most important thing in my life now and always will be.

And ive said he can be involved i just said he wont be having the baby half the week when  its newborn as il be breastfeeding and he's never so much as held a newborn let alone took full resposibility for one! When i know i can trust him he will be allowed to take him/her on days out and then in time maybe even have them overnight at the weekends

Im gonna be a good mum - obviously they dont think so :(

Just wanna cry. And this headache is STILL killing me - thats 3 full days now.

This sucks!!

[LosingMyMindInGA]

I'm sending you a PM

[onlyme27]

Your headaches are probably from all this stress you are putting yourself under.  I went thru a similar situation with my first child.  His father utterly disgusted me and I wasn't sure if I should trust him with our child. I was afraid that my child wouldn't bond with me either.  I was scared to death that he wouldn't love me and would want to be with daddy more.  My son and I are inseperable now.  Babies naturally take to their mamas. Besides, you don't need a man to raise a baby.  Granted, it is nice to have that father figure around for the child.  Women raise children everyday successfully without men.  The moral of the story, if he can't understand your reasons for proving your trust don't worry about it.  He will either deal with it and hit the road.  If he does, so be it.  You are better off without him in that case.  Have yourself a good cry.  Stop stressing.  (easier said than done) Enjoy this time in your life.  You are just giving yourself a headache.

[chitten]

Well i told my friend that i didnt need her putting me down and basically if she doesnt agree with how im doing things to keep it buttoned! So far she has and has been more supportive!

He has agreed to come shopping on Friday to pick out a crib - not sure whether to be worried or not about this! Ive told him that he either agrees to be involved now or not at all.

He says he's going to the next scan (2nd April) and i told him if he lets me down he will NOT get another chance!

I have been a little worried as im 13 weeks not and my tummy seems to have shrunk a little in the past week - is this normal??????????

LosingMyMind -  Did you get rid of Loser hubby??

How do i act around him on Friday?? I hate him for what hes dont to me, but in a way il always care about him, he's the father of my baby and as much as my friends and family hate that fact its always gonna be that way. I dont want him to think i am a pushover and will accept the way hes treated me but i dont wanna be mean either, he just seems to bring out the worst in me lately, i cant stand his arrogance and utter disrepect for anyone apart from himself.

Still having terrible headaches which are really gettiing me down!

[JoyRenee]

I do not know how it works in the UK but here, the baby's father can't have legal custody rights unless appointed by a judge and he's paying child support. Or unless there is a mutually acceptable arrangement outside of court.

You're still so early on in your pregnancy to worry about this, sweetie! He can't take the baby, you're the mother. And that bonding information your supposed friend gave you is a load of crud! Some women DO have trouble bonding right away, but not ALL women do. And they EVENTUALLY bond with baby. Breastfeeding is one way you'll totally bond with your little one. It's not like they're an alien. They're a part of you.

You just need to put your foot down and tell everyone you're an adult and this is your child and if they want to be supportive, it has to be on your terms. He cannot take a newborn from his mother and that baby will have a HARD TIME being shuttled half a week to his mom and the other half to the daddy. That is NOT consistent for the little one (which they need).

Just give them all a swift kick in the rear and tell them to chill out!!!

[MIMI1980]

I agree with the other ladys here sweety.And you are the one carrying this baby for 9 months so it knows you are the one that loves and cares for it and as they say you bond with the bump before its even born and their favorite sound is that of your voice. i would tell this so called "friend" to take a hike and also inform the babys dad that as you are breast feeding there is no possible way he can take the baby for the first six to eight months as they dont adjust well to change from boobie to bottle!!!!
Try and keep ur chin up and big hugs!!!

[LosingMyMindInGA]

I agree...I rarely cry when I'm not pregnant but when I am...boy I can boohoo over stupid tv commercials.  Now with everything going on in my life it seems that all I want to do is cry.  Stupid hormones!!!!

[Skylynns_mom]

i forgot to say the emotional thing dosen't really get better as you get further along.  When i am not pregnant i never cry...i suck it up and deal with things and now(i am 21week) i cry all the time, for the dumbest things sometime.  So dont feel bad you are completely normal.

[heatherlynn22]

don't let them make you feel bad!!! my "friends" are doing the same thing. one even went so far as to say she'd go with me to have an abortion!!!! which was NEVER an option. needless to say she's not a friend anymore. another is telling me how i just f*ck** up my life and i'm going to regret getting pregnant b/c my df and i have had a tough 2 years. (obviously we're stronger now then ever before). and i don't regret my babies....i love them to death already and i've only "known" them for 8 weeks. and from what i understand unless YOU are the one who doesn't have anything to do with the baby you'll bond just fine. as you said you're already bonding. that baby can feel your warmth and love for it!!!  as far as the father goes....that's perfectly logical! how can he take the baby if he's not lactating? lol. ignore those friends and enjoy being pregnant.


and yeah i'm the emotional wreck to. i was watching cinderella yesterday and just burst into tears. the wonders and joy of pregnancy!

[LosingMyMindInGA]

BTW don't feel bad, right now all I want to do is curl up into a little ball, hide in the corner and cry my eyes out...so you're not alone!

[LosingMyMindInGA]

Obviously this "friend" is a nutjob.  Does this "friend" have children?  If she does I feel sorry for them.  She had no right saying that to you and doesn't seem like much of a friend to me.  I think it's EXTREMELY wise that you have decided to limit his access in the beginning.  If I were you, I would make him take it to court so you are protected.  I also agree with everything Skylynn's Mom said.

[Skylynns_mom]

Your friends don't really sound like their being good friends.   Weren't you struggleing in the beining on whether or not to keep the baby?  I think you have already proved just by the fact that you decided to keep him/her that its the most importatant thing in your life and that your a good mom.  Don't let them get you down, I'd do the same thing if i were you.  Hell my daughter is 2 and there are only a select few people that can watch her and she has never spent the nigth anywhere.  this summer will probably be the first time i let her spend the night at my mothers.....I think your doing the right things so cheer up and dont let them stress you out.

PS> if the father really wants to be involved then he'll deal with the rules, if not he'll take off, but it has nothing to do with you if he decides not to be involved