I need HELP with DS!!!!

[dnikki0928]

Okay, so when DS was a baby he used to eat basically everything (baby food)... now he is 2 and it is a struggle almost every night to get him to eat his dinner. It  has come to the point (probably sounds aweful) but while he is screaming I have to use a soft spoon to put food in his mouth. Of course then he gags, then I tell him to take a drink of milk. Then he chews, swallows and takes his drink - not all the time though. There are nights few and far between that we have no problems.
Mealtime is becoming increasing difficult - I am starting to dread it. Dinner alone wears me out! He doesn't do any better with DH.  It's getting embarrassing when he have people over for dinner - he is not a bad kid at all - until dinner (sometimes lunch too). The last 2 or 3 times my in-laws have been here, DS has these lovely rebellion episodes - and they last well after everyone is done eating..... DH and I have no idea what to do, he needs to eat!
Any advice???

Thanks ladies :-)

[babypooh]

Kids can be pretty tough! I struggle with my son to eat, but he's 4 years old so I have more control. You know, they have meal replacement type shakes for kids to make sure they get the vitamins they need. Use it as a last resort, but I think you'll be okay giving the baby a choice. Kids like to feel that they have some kind of control and like the other ladies said, it's okay to leave them without dinner every once in a while if they did eat something throughout the day. Even doctors will tell you that it's fine. Kids will tell you when they're hungry and they tend to go through stages where they don't want to eat. Good luck!

[Linzola1]

I have no idea but I want to wish you good luck

[dnikki0928]

Thank you ladies!! I will keep you posted!!

[g8r grl]

I know what you're going through! It's so frustrating to feed my 2 1/2 year old and totally wears me out. My husband and I had subs tonight (my son was taking a late nap after a birthday party) so I had to make him something later after he woke up. I made some spaghetti and he took a couple of bites and started to climb out of his chair. He is JUST starting the learn the idea of "first and then," as in first you eat your spaghetti and then you can have some frozen yogurt. He was mad and kept saying no to more spaghetti, so I pulled him out of his seat and told him that he wasn't going to eat anything and that was his choice. Then I took his bowl and started to walk to the kitchen saying that I was going to eat it...he freaked out and decided that he would eat more. We ended up finishing dinner sitting on the couch, but whatever....he ate it (it sounds easier than it was...there was crying and screaming involved).

Just do the best you can. It gets easier...my son was horrible with eating when he turned 2, but 6 months later, it's getting better. He LOVES bananas, so I always let him have a whole banana within the hour before he goes to bed....that way I know he's full, will get a good nights sleep, and it's healthy.

Good luck :) I feel for ya'!

[JoyRenee]

I can't wait to hear what works. Please keep me posted! I have a little girl who is about to turn 2 in March and right now she's eats just about anything but I know this battle *might* be around the corner again for us soon.

Don't beat yourself up! You're doing everything you can to figure this all out which tells me you're a GOOD parent.

And don't be discouraged if this doesn't happen overnight. It will take a few nights for him to get used to the new rule. Just stick to your guns!  

[tiredbuthappy]

it's mostly dinner and occasional lunches that give the problem? how's breakfast? if breakfast is generally good, try offering some breakfast foods at dinnertime. it may help you narrow down what the problem is.

[dnikki0928]

DH and I talked - we are going to try giving him a choice: he gets to choose either what we are eating that night, or leftovers from a previous night. If he doesn't choose, then we choose for him...if he doesn't eat then that's it for the night. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that this will work!! I will try a snack time with him...he goes down for a nap about 1 p.m and sometimes he won't wake up until 4 (like the past 2 days). So,  I guess if he gets up around 3, he can have a little bit bigger snack, or if it's closer to 4 a smaller snack...does that sound good? I kind of feel like a bad parent for not giving him a snack everyday...I thought maybe thats why he wouldn't eat his meals....

Thank you so much for all your advice! Like I said, we will implement this plan tomorrow and I will post on here how it goes!!!

Thanks Again!!!

[JoyRenee]

You could try making dinner 30 minutes later. You could also put something he absolutely LOVES with his meal (just a little bit--- like half a cup of yogurt or some cheese cubes).

It could be that he's over-hungry by dinnertime, too, if he doesn't have snacktime. You don't have to do what I do but we have snacktime at 10am and 3pm in my house. It's usually just some form of cracker/pretzel, yogurt, and/or cheese. You could try to have a snacktime a couple hours before dinner and see if that boosts his metabolism a little!

At this point it's just going to be trial-and-error. Find what works for you! I know you're tired. I have a niece that never ate anything but fruit and her mom was at her wit's end. She grew out of that stage! Your little one will too!

[dnikki0928]

Thanks ladies :-) I will try this and pray it works... I'm pretty sure the trying the food before getting down will not work - It seems like if it doesn't look good to him, he won't eat it. I hate trying to "force-feed" him, it makes me want to cry because it's not who I am...it wears me out...
I'll try making dinner a half hour later too - maybe he will be more hungry? He doesn't eat snacks during the day, he gets milk (mostly) and 1 glass of 1/2 OJ and 1/2 water a day, and some water also.

Okay, so tomorrow I will implement this and I also need to pick up a mult-vitamin for him...

Thank you again!!

Nikki

[JoyRenee]

I agree with sweetangel. My pediatrician said, "You're not a short order cook. Your child needs to learn to eat what you prepare. If they don't eat it, they don't eat dinner. A few nights won't starve your child and will show him that you mean business." In fact, many parenting books/magazines also say the same thing. It IS a control issue.

I know it's hard. I know many children and parents who've struggled through this phase. The point is consistency. Also, ignore him when he throws his fits. Don't give him attention or force-feed him because that's not really respecting him.

I tell my 3 1/2 year old that if she doesn't want to eat she is not getting anything else. She also has to try a bite of each item before getting down from the table. After that, she is free to go but bedtime is 30 minutes earlier.

[sweetangel7]

Sounds like he is having control issues...I would try to give him two choices to eat...if he doesn't eat then he doesn't eat...eventually he will get hungry enough to choose one of your choices.