Aa
I want your opinion, please!
Okay, my dear fiance and I have been back and forth about wether or not to get my tubes tied. We were certain at first that having one child together plus the two I already have would be enough and we would be happy with the three. (Not that we arent anyways) Then he came to me and said he wanted one more, and I was so happy and melted when he said it. Then we changed our minds again recently and decided that getting my tubes tied would be best because right now we are struggling financially, but that wont last forever, and I have been very emotional and had a lot of mood swings with this pregnancy. Well, this will be child and c section #3 for me. I will be 30 in January. If I were to get pregnant once more it would be 2-3 years from now. I would be 33 by the time he or she was born. I think three may be enough, but I would love to try to have a boy as well...but then again 4 children is a lot, even though my two oldest are with their dad every other week. I am looking for other opinions, and what else to think about and consider besides the financial commitment and time required for new babies and toddlers.
Not only that with 4 kids we would have to get a larger vehicle like a van or suburban or something along those lines.
It would take more time away from the other three and be hard to divide attention fairly.
We have a 4 bedroom house and would have to eventually add one more room so they each have their own rooms. Granted the two oldest will probably be living on their own or in college by the time the two youngest would HAVE to have their own rooms.
What a tough decision. Its so permanent though, I really want to make sure I dont have any regrets about getting my tubes tied. What do you all think? Please help! I know its ultimately up to my fiance and me, but wow! I have been really thinking about it today and cant come to a decision. I have to know soon, cause if I decide I want to do it they will do it while I am already on the operating table....
Not only that with 4 kids we would have to get a larger vehicle like a van or suburban or something along those lines.
It would take more time away from the other three and be hard to divide attention fairly.
We have a 4 bedroom house and would have to eventually add one more room so they each have their own rooms. Granted the two oldest will probably be living on their own or in college by the time the two youngest would HAVE to have their own rooms.
What a tough decision. Its so permanent though, I really want to make sure I dont have any regrets about getting my tubes tied. What do you all think? Please help! I know its ultimately up to my fiance and me, but wow! I have been really thinking about it today and cant come to a decision. I have to know soon, cause if I decide I want to do it they will do it while I am already on the operating table....
I would say, from personal experience, DON'T do it. I had my tubes tied after my 2nd child was born (that was 12 years ago). I also thought I wouldn't want any more and also financially wasn't where I wanted to be to have more kids. Well, anyway, long story shortened...I changed my mind a few years after having the surgery and wished I could go back and have a re-do. I have gotten remarried since then to a man who also has a child (makes our total 3 together). After long talks about it, we decided to have my tubal reversed. We had a lot of the same concerns you expressed about eventually having another child, but my want for another child is so strong. The tubal reversal was very expensive, and it makes having a healthy pregnancy harder. I have already had an ectopic pregnancy since - very heartbreaking, and never had any fertility issues before. By the way, I am 35 and had the reversal at 35 as well. If you are already having doubts about getting your tubes tied, I would definately say don't do it, just find some very good birth control, incase you decide later you want another. Good luck though on whatever you decide to do.
I am having the same problem! A little different but the same idea. We have a 2 and half year old and another due soon. My husband only wanted one and we decided two would be perfect. I have been having doubts about him having a Vasectomy. He was going to do it 3 weeks after I deliver. I am struggling with wanting a third...sometime...maybe...
I have been thinking about Mirena but some things I have read about it scare me.
I have been thinking about Mirena but some things I have read about it scare me.
Yeah as the above poster said try Mirena (Birth Control) which is good for 5 years and the doctor can take it out anytime you wish. I wouldn't tie my tubes just yet. Give you and your fiance sometime to think about it. You don't want to have it done then regret it later.
I would say that if you are at all unsure, don't do it. Get a Mirena and decide later!
Also keep in mind that having your tubes tied is NOT permanent.
My mother had her tubes tied twice.
Tied, untied to have my sister, tied and then they somehow made themselves untied and she conceived my brother.
So, it is NOT permanent, but I would definetely think long and hard.
Good luck!
My mother had her tubes tied twice.
Tied, untied to have my sister, tied and then they somehow made themselves untied and she conceived my brother.
So, it is NOT permanent, but I would definetely think long and hard.
Good luck!
mamaofone---your reply is exactly what keeps me from tying my tubes! i love df dearly, and we do have an awesome relationship, but to me, HE is the one who doesnt want any more kids(and i'm fine with that), so if he wants to get tied when alex is a year old, go for it....but i'm not getting tied, because if something were to happen, i want the chance to have more kids, if my partner wanted them, and i wouldnt want to deny that partner the chance of being a bio-parent, as i know how much i wanted it.....
What about the option of having your fiance's "tubes tied" :) It is much easier on a man than it is a woman. Plus, if you ever wanted it reversed, it is easier to do on a man. Just a suggestion :)
I'm not really to sure what to tell you. I know for me I couldnt do it. There is always that little voice in the back of my head,saying the "what if's" questions....Like what if we Separate/one of us dyes, and you meet someone new. You know? If you are not for sure I would take another precautions for now...Have you looked into IUD?
Yeah, I'm a grammar whiz...
Supposed to say "... by the time YOUR youngest one is that old..."
Supposed to say "... by the time YOUR youngest one is that old..."
If you even have a TINY doubt, don't do it. You'll just have to pay to reverse it. Just use 2 or 3 birth control preventative measures, watch your fertility and don't BD during that fertile window.
My MIL had four children (all close in age, though) and they shared rooms growing up. She had 1 girl and 3 boys. The boys shared rooms and their girl had her own room. When I was growing up I shared a room with my little brother. It didn't bother me until I got older (maybe 13-14) but by the time you're youngest one is that old, like you said--- the older ones will be out of the house.
You do not know what the future will hold. I say don't do it until you are positive you do NOT want another child.
My MIL had four children (all close in age, though) and they shared rooms growing up. She had 1 girl and 3 boys. The boys shared rooms and their girl had her own room. When I was growing up I shared a room with my little brother. It didn't bother me until I got older (maybe 13-14) but by the time you're youngest one is that old, like you said--- the older ones will be out of the house.
You do not know what the future will hold. I say don't do it until you are positive you do NOT want another child.
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