If I end up having an only child

[JALE1984]

I was just wondering if there are any moms out there that wouldnt mind sharing with me what its like for them having an only child, or if you yourself were raised as an only child. I ask this because my bf and I are having the toughest time trying to conceive. So im trying to be positive about things in case we cannot have another child. Do you think keeping my daughter as an only child would be good for her? However she wants a brother or sister so i feel as if id be letting her down if i cannot get pregnant. Hope some of you have advice for me :) Thanks

[JALE1984]

I would adopt but with how many years it takes and my mans opinion on it I do not think it would work for us, i figure if god wants me to have another baby so be it, but if not i will have to be ok with it however it will still be heartbreaking, i always use to want to adopt a child but one of my biggest fears is that i will not have the same bond as i do with my daughter, and i wouldnt ever want a child to sense that. Is that a common fear?

[Ashelen]

I was an only child and I hated it half the time and loved it half the time...now that I'm older, I wish that I had a brother or a sister...but my parents could never conceive again. They tried before me and finally gave up and I surprised them when they were 35...and then they could never conceive again after that.

My dad and I are absolutely best friends now, but my mom and I are at odds all the time and it's because she's so focused on every detail of my life (and she's an alcoholic, lol..) and I really think that she and I would've been better off if there was a sibling to share the focus...but obviously God only wanted me to be an only child.

It just depends...you can give your baby a great life as an only child, or your baby can benefit from the relationship with a sibling..it's all in how you approach parenting and what sort of personality your child has....I don't think an only child is lacking in anything as long as the parents recognize that an only child has different needs, and that's the key.

I do think that adoption is a wonderful idea if you end up having too much trouble conceiving...adoptive children can be amazing siblings and offspring because they desperately need love and when they receive it, you can tell what a different it makes in their life.

[JillyHemp316]

I was an only child and I loved it. My mom and I had the best relationship at least the majority of the time lol. We did so much fun stuff that I know we wouldn't have done if there were more of me. Lol. I have one son and before we were planning on having like 3 kids, but now I'm thinking of just sticking with the one because I had so much fun with just me and mom. Although I would really like a girl..who knows. Lol

[mommyagain123]

its really hard to say.  My husband grew up an only child and hated it (we are now having our 3rd child and he still thinks we need more lol) My best friends husband grew up an only child and loved it so much that he thought their first should also be an only child.  His wife didn't agree and they have 3 as well.  I grew up with siblings and couldn't imagine being an only child.  Just make sure if you can't have another that she gets lots of playdates with other children.

[JoyRenee]

I agree with Michele that your boyfriend's sperm count and quality should be tested. It'd also be good to check up on your ovaries. There are some natural things you can do to boost fertility (such as eating certain foods and having your man wear boxers).

I have three daughters and we're trying for baby #4. I couldn't imagine having an only child but I'm saying that from a place of already having more than one child. It sounds like YOU really want to have another baby. If in the end you exhaust all your options of having another biological child there is always adoption. I know people experiencing fertility problems hate hearing that but I want to stress it because there are SO many children in orphanages just waiting for their mommy and daddy to walk in and take them home.

Please let us know what happens!

[Spiket77]

How long have you been trying? What methods are you using to track your cycle?
I'm cheering for you. In a world where there are so many people having unwanted children ...I always cheer for those that WANT and can love/support a child. I have two siblings and I can't imagine not having them in my life. It seems so important to me to have at least two children for that reason. I know sometimes that isn't possible. Best wishes to you and your new love.

[Ambrelynn]

You can adopt ;)

[JALE1984]

It could be my boyfriend and after trying a little longer we are going to go see specialists. I however have ovary problems and have now for the past ten years, and im 26 so doctors are not so sure that i can become pregnant again, i was lucky enough to have my daughter, Luckily miracles happen, i think im just expecting things too quickly. But i hope we all get our answer we want soon :)

[MissmyAngel]

Well I'm sort of in the same situation. My DH has two daughters from a previous relationship and after seeing the way he is with his kids and the close relationship they have together, I started to long for a child of my own. Unfortunately it took me a REALLLLLY long time to get pregnant, and so his one daughter has flown the coop and his other daughter will be soon so technically this little man is going to be an only child even though he has two half sisters. DH is 40, and doesn't want another child after this one. Luckily there are a lot of people I know who have babies within a year of my lil man, so I am just going to have to have lots of playdates to keep him entertained.

[Linzola1]

I know excally how you are feeling... I am TTC #2 and am having a very hard time. I have been on Clomid and Metformin for PCOS and they finally got me to ovulate last month and this month so fingers crossed this is my month.... I have a son from a previous Marriage and am TTC #2 with my Fiance... He doesn't have any children so I know what you mean when you say you want a baby together!
I wasn't raised as an only child but I consider myself one because when I was born my brother was 14 and my sister 18. By the time I was old enough to remember I was the only child in the house! I really liked it but always longed for a closer sibling. It has its benefits but some kids have that empty feeling

[Michele, Katy, TX]

JALE, could the problem possibly be with your bf??  I only ask this since you have gotten pregnant once before.

[JALE1984]

thanks, i appreciate the opinions! I think what bothers me the most is, my daughters father left when i was pregnant, and now that im with someone that i want to share my life with, we want a child of our own together. It may sound a little selfish but everyone wants it so im sure its not too selfish of me lol. Why cant things just be a little more simple for all of us. I hope we all get our wishes and are able to conceive and have healthy beautiful babies!

[gillianl]

I have trouble conceiving as well, i've been told i need IVF to conceive so i'm hoping for twins as i don't think i could go through IVF more than once as i've heard it's very painful.  I don't have any children as yet and have been told i'll get IVF in 2 and a half years time because i live in Scotland.

I had always wanted 3 kids max but now if i have the one it will be a blessing and i can explain to them in the future why they don't have any brothers or sisters was because mummy was unwell and couldn't have them.

buy your daughter a puppy to keep her entertained if you can't conceive a second, but if i was you i'd speak to your doctor about getting some tests done.  My cousin had a little boy and is struggling conceiving her 2nd she has now been told she has a thyroid problem and until thats sorted she won't be able to conceive.

[gokuangel]

IDK woman I am also having the awfulest time TTC so to me If I do get 1 child I will be VERY lucky and blessed! No its not exactly what I would want for my child but if thats what happens I would know its meant to be!! I do think if i was in the postion and know how I would try to adopt another child cus i do think at least 1 sibling is important at least every1 in my family has 2 kids! But for me im not even to 1 yet so IDK what will happen!! BUT i would not give up if thats what you want is another child my BFF has thryoid hormone issues ETC and her son will be 6 in Nov. and she is now FINALLY PG and her new baby due in March next year!!
I think the most important thing though is if you have one child just love them more than anything surround them with people that also love them and socialize them play dates and start with Pre-K at least thats what I'd do if I do get lucky enough to be in the sitatuation!!