Aa
If life were easy it wouldn't be hard
I don't even know where to begin. I read this board all the time and I try to stay away from the sad posts. Not because they don't deserve validation, but because sometimes they can be extremely sad. This is one of those posts.
Today I got the worst call that anyone ever wants to receive in their life time. The call that everyone thinks about when someone is calling them at an hour. It was my mom at 8am. She was crying and somehow through her tears she was able to get out that something bad happened.
"Amanda, something bad has happened"
"What is it mom? What's the matter? Did D.J. do it? (my brother has been on suicide watch for weeks now)
"No. . . . .. Spencer found Sage dead in his crib this morning."
"No, no, no, no,no......this is a joke right"
"No honey he's gone".
"I'm on my way over".
I then called my husband and I broke down in the hallway by my office. My boss and coworkers just stood there not knowing what to do. My husband finally showed up to get me, and the 43 mile drive was the longest drive ever. I didn't want to be here, but I didn't want to be anywhere else.
The cops, firetrucks, were still here, but the house was now a crime scene. There were about 15 detectives upstairs. With all the family being here the house was filled with about 45 people. We all just filled the living room and kitchen. Sage was still upstairs, and we hadn't been able to see or hold him.
Spencer found him, still warm. Called for Chris to call 911 and started CPR. 45 minutes later the paramedics showed up and they took over from there. Things get a bit blurry from here, but I was here about an hour when they finally released the scene. They allowed my dad to carry him down stairs and we each got to hold our angel one last time.
Now. . . . when he was born I had undergone my first IUI, and it didn't take. I was so upset, and it was everything I had to be in the delivery room when he was born. I wanted a baby so bad. It was at that point in time the hardest thing I ever had to do. I wouldn't have missed being there for anything in the world.
2 weeks later I did another IUI and this time it worked, and John and I were pregnant. Now I am 35 weeks and my precious little nephew is home with his Heavenly Father. I am honored that I got to be in the presence of such a glorious spirit, for these last 8 months. I don't know how or even where to begin the healing process. I don't even know what to say to my sister and her husband.
I hadn't realized it, but if the Lord had blessed us with our baby the first IUI, we would be having her now during this time instead of in a month. I just need to be here for them. Please pray for them to have comfort at this time. I don't know what else to ask for.
My Little Sage Brush, I love you with all my heart and soul! Be at peace, and I'll see you when my time has come.
Today I got the worst call that anyone ever wants to receive in their life time. The call that everyone thinks about when someone is calling them at an hour. It was my mom at 8am. She was crying and somehow through her tears she was able to get out that something bad happened.
"Amanda, something bad has happened"
"What is it mom? What's the matter? Did D.J. do it? (my brother has been on suicide watch for weeks now)
"No. . . . .. Spencer found Sage dead in his crib this morning."
"No, no, no, no,no......this is a joke right"
"No honey he's gone".
"I'm on my way over".
I then called my husband and I broke down in the hallway by my office. My boss and coworkers just stood there not knowing what to do. My husband finally showed up to get me, and the 43 mile drive was the longest drive ever. I didn't want to be here, but I didn't want to be anywhere else.
The cops, firetrucks, were still here, but the house was now a crime scene. There were about 15 detectives upstairs. With all the family being here the house was filled with about 45 people. We all just filled the living room and kitchen. Sage was still upstairs, and we hadn't been able to see or hold him.
Spencer found him, still warm. Called for Chris to call 911 and started CPR. 45 minutes later the paramedics showed up and they took over from there. Things get a bit blurry from here, but I was here about an hour when they finally released the scene. They allowed my dad to carry him down stairs and we each got to hold our angel one last time.
Now. . . . when he was born I had undergone my first IUI, and it didn't take. I was so upset, and it was everything I had to be in the delivery room when he was born. I wanted a baby so bad. It was at that point in time the hardest thing I ever had to do. I wouldn't have missed being there for anything in the world.
2 weeks later I did another IUI and this time it worked, and John and I were pregnant. Now I am 35 weeks and my precious little nephew is home with his Heavenly Father. I am honored that I got to be in the presence of such a glorious spirit, for these last 8 months. I don't know how or even where to begin the healing process. I don't even know what to say to my sister and her husband.
I hadn't realized it, but if the Lord had blessed us with our baby the first IUI, we would be having her now during this time instead of in a month. I just need to be here for them. Please pray for them to have comfort at this time. I don't know what else to ask for.
My Little Sage Brush, I love you with all my heart and soul! Be at peace, and I'll see you when my time has come.
so sorry for your loss... all i can say is to be there for your sister and her family. i am glad to hear that you are all super close that will be such a blessing in the coming days.
I am sorry for your lost but I will say a prayer for you and your family.....they are really blessed to have you.. May God keep and bless you all
I'm so sorry, that made me cry. I couldn't even imagine going in to find TJ gone.... I think it would kill me.
The most wonderful spirits go to the most wonderful parents. Sage was one of the most wonderful spirits that I have ever known and loved. His smile, his laugh, his very countenance was infectious to be around.
I am so grateful for being apart of his life, and pray that I can live the rest of my life as well as he lived in 8 months.
The funeral will be on Wednesday. I can't believe it. As my sister said we should be picking out clothes, and cribs, and big boy car seats for him. . . not plots and flowers.
Thank you all so much for the prayers, thoughts and just being here. Having someone online saying they're sorry helps more than I ever thought it would. Thank you for everything.
I am so grateful for being apart of his life, and pray that I can live the rest of my life as well as he lived in 8 months.
The funeral will be on Wednesday. I can't believe it. As my sister said we should be picking out clothes, and cribs, and big boy car seats for him. . . not plots and flowers.
Thank you all so much for the prayers, thoughts and just being here. Having someone online saying they're sorry helps more than I ever thought it would. Thank you for everything.
This is a pain that no one should have to endure. Sadly I know this pain all to well. I am living this nightmare and I still do not know any words to offer comfort, I guess because there really is nothing to say that takes away the pain.
I would recommend they go to counseling and join a support group for those who lost infants. I have found great comort in going to these and so has my husband. Your family will find great strength within themselves and they will be comforted by their Baby Angel, this I can promise. Baby Angels have a very special way of always letting you know they are there.
My thoughts and prayers are with and your family!
I would recommend they go to counseling and join a support group for those who lost infants. I have found great comort in going to these and so has my husband. Your family will find great strength within themselves and they will be comforted by their Baby Angel, this I can promise. Baby Angels have a very special way of always letting you know they are there.
My thoughts and prayers are with and your family!
i have no words except i am so sorry...youre in the thoughts and prayers of many...We are all here, no matter what words you need to scream, cry, or not even say at all...
((HUGS))
((HUGS))
i am so sorry my prayers are with you and your family. I do not even know what to write im in shock i cant even imagine the pain. i am so sorry.
Your poor family. Losing a baby no matter what age is hard. My thoughts are with you and your family.
I am so sorry for you and your family, I will keep you guys in prayers. I cant imagine the heartache you are all feeling.
That is heartbreaking, i am so sorry for your loss, the only thing you can do is be there for her, my aunt lost a child at 5 months and all i could do is be there for her, no one wants to hear it will be ok, jus give lots of hugz, cry with her and be a good listener.
I will keep you and your family in my prayers.
I will keep you and your family in my prayers.
I am very sorry for your loss. It is just unbelievably sad, and please know that you have "strangers" such as myself praying for you and your family. It is wonderful that your family is close, because you will all need eachother during this difficult time.
Again, I'm so very sorry. :-(
Again, I'm so very sorry. :-(
This is so sad and my heart breaks for you and your family. I am so sorry. You will all be in my thoughts and thank you for sharing.
I am at a loss. I am just so sorry.
I am at a loss. I am just so sorry.
I am so sorry that this has happened to you, there is nothing that anyone can say that will make it feel any better.
Thank you for sharing this with us, we can all use your experience to learn more about child safety.
Your story will certainly stay in my thoughts...
Thank you for sharing this with us, we can all use your experience to learn more about child safety.
Your story will certainly stay in my thoughts...
Thank you all so very much for the thoughts and prayers. They are certainly felt, and appriciated by my family. I don't think I slept more than a few hours last night, and when I was asleep all I saw was him.
My family is very, very close. We have been there for all the deliveries of children, every holiday, birthday or stubbed toe. At times I don't think I have one tear left, but then they all come rushing out, and I'm proved wrong.
Thank you all again for everything.
My family is very, very close. We have been there for all the deliveries of children, every holiday, birthday or stubbed toe. At times I don't think I have one tear left, but then they all come rushing out, and I'm proved wrong.
Thank you all again for everything.
I wish I had words, but I just don't. I have this huge lump in my throat right now. I just sit here trying to think of something to say, but I can't. There just aren't words. But I do want you to know that many people are praying for you and your family. I am soooooo very sorry that this happened to your sister.
Thts so sad dear... may God gv u n ur family the courage to deal wit ths.such thgs really shake us frm inside..its v easy to say but i kn God mus hv bettr plans for ur sis...
Tc buddy...
Tc buddy...
omg...i started crying before i even read about it being your nephew! i am at a loss for words! you and your family are in my prayers....i hope somehow you all can find the strength to get through such a tragedy! hugs to you all & GOD BLESS!!!
I couldn't finish reading past a certain point BUT I did just want to say that my heart aches for your family and their loss! Hugs and Prayers!
My deepest, deepest condolences. This is so tragic and inconceivable, it leaves one at a complete loss for words.
But, thank you SO much for posting & writing about Sage.
My best friend lost her infant daughter last January, so I know how important talking about & sharing grief is to the recovery process.
Much strength, comfort, & peace to you & your family in the coming difficult days.
But, thank you SO much for posting & writing about Sage.
My best friend lost her infant daughter last January, so I know how important talking about & sharing grief is to the recovery process.
Much strength, comfort, & peace to you & your family in the coming difficult days.
The sad posts have just as much place here as the happy ones.
I am touched that you shared this with us but my heart is so heavy for your family. I keep typing and then deleting because nothing I can say will suffice. *HUGS*
The autopsy is normal and required by law. I'm sure no one believes there was foul play, it's just part of the process, which doesn't make it any easier. Just be there for your sister and hold her close. You don't have to say anything to her. Just let her vent, rant, cry, break things, whatever she needs.
I am touched that you shared this with us but my heart is so heavy for your family. I keep typing and then deleting because nothing I can say will suffice. *HUGS*
The autopsy is normal and required by law. I'm sure no one believes there was foul play, it's just part of the process, which doesn't make it any easier. Just be there for your sister and hold her close. You don't have to say anything to her. Just let her vent, rant, cry, break things, whatever she needs.
Oh my honey! I will keep your family in my thoughts and prayers! I am so so so so sorry! Words can not even express it. I am going into Julians room as we speak and taking the blanket out! Agian you and your family are in my thoughts nd prayers! God Bless
I'm very sorry about what happened to your family. You'll all be in my prayers tonight. I hope that sharing your story will help you in the greving process. You may have even saved lives by telling us about the the tragic situation with his blanket. I know I won't forget Sage's story.
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