Is good news too much to ask???

[aabarnett]

For once I would like to go see the doctor and have nothing but bood news.  I'm so tired of hearing "we'll monitor it", or "we will just have to keep a close eye on it" or my personal favorite "there isn't anything we can do other than watch it closely and try to deliver before either mommy or baby get too bad".  They are doctors, they are suposed to fix things not just say they are gonna watch them.  It seems like all they do is suck my blood, make me pee, make me drink disgusting **** so they can suck out some more blood, and do ultrasounds, oh and then tell me to stay in bed, and eat this, and try not to worry.  Now what kind of mom would I be if there are so many problems going on and they aren't doing jack about them and I'm not suposed to worry, give me a break.  It's not like I don't pay them enough to do something other than scratch their butts and say stupid things like the phrases I mentioned earlier.  I'm so sick of it.  The worst part is that I still don't know if I'm going to lose my baby.  I might be going through all of this and still have to mourn yet another baby.  I just don't know if I can handle this.  Haven't we been through enough???  There are women who don't even want or deserve a child and they get to have healthy babies, I just don't get it.  Sorry, I'm just really sick of it all today.  GRRRRR  I'm just so done with it all.  I miss my husband, my home, and my life, heck I miss being the Mommy, I hate being a burden, and I hate that there are so many problems facing my baby girl.  What is truely the worst is that there is nothing I can do to make it better, I'm supposed to be the Mommy and my job is to make things better but I feel like I'm failing my baby before she even gets here.  Sorry to let that all out on you but I'm drowning here.

[kennedydp5]

i'm so sorry...  i had no idea!!!  i just saw your other post about you going to the hospital...  i pray that everything will be ok w/ you and your precious little girl!!!!!!!!!!!

jen

[aabarnett]

Thank you ladies.  As far as what is going on with us I'll give you a short run down.  I have a tear and an abruption (diffrent spots), the tear is not getting worse but the abruption (that is when the placenta tears from your lining) in now at 18% (at 25 it's hospital and you HAVE to deliver before you get to 50% or you lose baby), My baby has IUGR (she is lagging behind in her growth so I might be 27 weeks and 4 days but she isn't that far in growth), this is due to my placental insuficiency (basically exactly what it sounds like), and now I'm getting preeclampsia (which can be bad, I'm not that bad yet but it's getting a little worse every week)  I have to get to 32 weeks inorder for my baby to have the same odds as a 28 weeker.  There is no way I'll go full term, it wouldn't be the safest option for either one of us.  Medically that is what is happening with us.

[martikadragoon]

I'm sorry for all your stress. the doctors may seem like  nothing but bloodsuckers but they want to help you do what's best for the baby. :)

[jesslee83]

i have no answers for you.....but i did want to tell you i'm sorry you're going through all this, and that you feel(or see) that no one is helping you or telling you how to make this better.....i'm not sure if this is a good thing, but maybe when you hit 30 weeks, they'll give you the steroids to develop her lungs, and then get her out just in case.....idk about you, but i'd rather have an early baby.....when i get down, i take a wamr bath, and then browse you tubes selection of funny and stupid billboards.....believe me, it helped me, cos even though i wasn't thinking about the baby(which i kinda felt bad about), atleast i was laughing, and im sure the endorphins are good for her!

[kennedydp5]

may i ask what is going on w/ your baby?  i don't know your story!

[aabarnett]

Sorry to keep venting on you guys, I know you all have problems too.  Just ignore me and chalk it up to hormones and bed rest making me cranky.  Think I'm gonna go get a book and take a bath and then cheat on my "diet plan" and have some chocolate and maybe some ice cream too =D (I probably won't because I'll feel guilty if I do because it's not on the list of approved snacks that the doc gave me but it might help me gain some weight - lol). I'll get over it and maybe next week we might actually hear good things but I'm not holding my breath.