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Just Curious! If your husband doesnt call you after a fight for over 3 weeks ~ what does it mean?
(Not pregnancy related) i just want your opinions!!!
I've been married for 3 yrs now , and a few weeks ago , my marriage has been rocky, i found out that he lied, than he started treated me really bad, them to make matters worst , he started NOT helping out around the house after i cooked for him all day and all night.he just turned into a real asshwole and i had ENOUGH !
i packed a bag and left him....he got back from work only to find out that i was gone!!
he text me twice that week and called me once...it said in both text and message , you dont want to talk thats fine at least let me know ur okay!! well that first week when i left , i didnt feel ready to talk to him , so i DIDNT reply !
Its been 3 weeks going on the 4th and NO news from him....NO attempts to reach me, see how me and THE BABY is doing! (im almost 4 months pregnant and soooo happy:)
He always told me that if he came close to lose me that he would DIE and that he would find me, that he never saw himself without me...but he has NEVER made an attempt to come and get me!!
(he is a first class liar~ actions are louder than words!!)
The longest we have been apart is a full week, and i always came back...but he never made an effort to win me back... NEVER!! Everytime i would come back, i always felt like if it wasnt up to me , we probably wouoldnt be together??!!
So i put him to the test ....this time, im not coming back until I see that he really cares/loves me!!
Accordingly to you guys, is it Ego? does he even love me? or am i a fool to think that he ever loved me these past 3 yrs??
WHAT DO U GUYS THINK?
I've been married for 3 yrs now , and a few weeks ago , my marriage has been rocky, i found out that he lied, than he started treated me really bad, them to make matters worst , he started NOT helping out around the house after i cooked for him all day and all night.he just turned into a real asshwole and i had ENOUGH !
i packed a bag and left him....he got back from work only to find out that i was gone!!
he text me twice that week and called me once...it said in both text and message , you dont want to talk thats fine at least let me know ur okay!! well that first week when i left , i didnt feel ready to talk to him , so i DIDNT reply !
Its been 3 weeks going on the 4th and NO news from him....NO attempts to reach me, see how me and THE BABY is doing! (im almost 4 months pregnant and soooo happy:)
He always told me that if he came close to lose me that he would DIE and that he would find me, that he never saw himself without me...but he has NEVER made an attempt to come and get me!!
(he is a first class liar~ actions are louder than words!!)
The longest we have been apart is a full week, and i always came back...but he never made an effort to win me back... NEVER!! Everytime i would come back, i always felt like if it wasnt up to me , we probably wouoldnt be together??!!
So i put him to the test ....this time, im not coming back until I see that he really cares/loves me!!
Accordingly to you guys, is it Ego? does he even love me? or am i a fool to think that he ever loved me these past 3 yrs??
WHAT DO U GUYS THINK?
you sound psycho. I am glad you don't have children . please get some professional mental help
dear people
Im soon going to complete i yr of marriage in 2 days and last night we had a fight coz i calld him up first he did nt take and then on seeing he calld up but i startd kidding and said im sleepng so he disconnected and dint cal again.
but i still cald and showed sum anger but he disconnectd and now noone cald in nite, but i still called up in the morning and still he's talking strangely saying i should hav called again at night itself. pls tell me wt to do should i call or wait for him? pls tell me plzzzzzzzz asap...
Im soon going to complete i yr of marriage in 2 days and last night we had a fight coz i calld him up first he did nt take and then on seeing he calld up but i startd kidding and said im sleepng so he disconnected and dint cal again.
but i still cald and showed sum anger but he disconnectd and now noone cald in nite, but i still called up in the morning and still he's talking strangely saying i should hav called again at night itself. pls tell me wt to do should i call or wait for him? pls tell me plzzzzzzzz asap...
glad to hear. all the luck in the world. xx
outcome very good!!! we r back together...and he realises what he was missing!
so ladies there is hope...just let him know who is the boss, and hold ur own!!
thanks for all the help and all ur opinions
group hug!
so ladies there is hope...just let him know who is the boss, and hold ur own!!
thanks for all the help and all ur opinions
group hug!
Oh I just looked at your pics...you are beautiful!! You should have left his A** long ago! Hehe. Life will go on and you will thank him one day for giving you your beautiful baby!
Well you know your answer now and you can move on. It sems like it was a fairly easy decision, but if you wasted any more time waiting for him you would have been stuck in limbo! So just pull yourself up by the bootstraps and start living life. You will have your beautiful baby soon and hopefully one day you can find a man that treats you with respect and no lies! Just know you are the better one and deserve better than what he has given you.
yes i do ...but at the end of the day, i do go to bed alone...so it is going to be hard..sometimes i have to live with my decisions, and marrying him was my biggest regret!! i guess you never know what one is capable of ,,,until put to the test!! mine fell miserably!!
i guess i rather know now then later!
THANK YOU GUYS FOR YOUR SUPPORT, YOU HAVE ALL BEEN WONDERFUL!!
I MUST GO ON..........
i guess i rather know now then later!
THANK YOU GUYS FOR YOUR SUPPORT, YOU HAVE ALL BEEN WONDERFUL!!
I MUST GO ON..........
i'm sorry hun... i just read this post and while i have no opinion on it, i want to wish you the best!!! i pray that you have a very enjoyable pregnancy and hope that you can stay relaxed! do you have a good circle of family and friends around?
i have text him today!!!
only to find out that he doesnt want to be with me ! says that our marriage cannot be repaired..hummm! im the one hurt here , but he is the one calling the shots! go figure!
not sure what to do from here.........
only to find out that he doesnt want to be with me ! says that our marriage cannot be repaired..hummm! im the one hurt here , but he is the one calling the shots! go figure!
not sure what to do from here.........
Jessy, read your personal messages. I sent you one with my personal advice. hope it helps.
first, I think you should have atleast sent him a txt that said "i'm fine" ....now he's being mr. macho. You didn't reply and he's taking it as you don't want him to contact you. OR he's just too darn stubborn to call you. If you love him and your marriage means something to you...call him... but only when YOU are ready.
sorry, but i have to agree with baby prayers.....all he asked for was a text or call saying YOU WERE OKAY.....and you didnt respond.....although he has been an a**, he did what you wanted, he tried to get hold of you.....i left chris, and he waited a week to call me, but when he did I ANSWERED.....and believe me when i say our problems went beyond pron.....he's "doing"as you are "acting".....you wouldnt answer, so he figures you are "done" with him.....to be honest, i wouldnt be too surprised if you got divorce papers.....even though a man messes up, eventually he will reach his own "point" and will give up.....after 3 weeks of not hearing from YOU, he's decided that you are done.....i dont know what else to tell you about that, as i said i know you had problems, and you tried to fix them, but then he has tried to talk to you and you ignored him.....men don't take lightly to the woman pregnant with his child that leaves him.....
One vote for calling too...maybe you should ask him to meet you at a neutral place like a park or a coffee house...keep it really low key, unemotional and let him know (without getting upset or letting everything out) that you would like to meet him somewhere so you can discuss what happened/what's happening. Don't pressure him to come home...that is why I recommend that you ask him to meet you somewhere because if you ask him to come home then he might interpret it like you are looking for him and expect/want him to live back at home (like a married man should!) but anyways, you just want to open up the conversation with him and after that you can feel him out about the coming home thing...this is a little off topic, but does he work? Has he missed three weeks of work? Maybe I missed this in the thread...
Dont feel weak if you call, you are a married woman. If you were dating I would say leave that jerk, but you are married so there are different rules and should be no games in marriage. It is a partnership and if your partner is lagging you need to discuss it with him and tell him things need to change...if they dont X, Y, and Z will happen. Just call him and say we need to talk. Chances are he is feeling the same as you, but is just respecting your space.
*Raises hand* One vote for calling over here!
*Raises hand* One vote for calling over here!
NO no news yet!!! i dont understand...im here dying , biting my fingers to stop myself from calling , and he is out there doing his thing....
then i ask myself why i want to be with his so bad..i was good for the first 2 weeks , and now im dying ....wish i wasnt in agony!!
why cant he feel that pain while away from me.,,,and not have that nees to see how im doing!!
i have to stop waiting for him,,,i have to get tuff or call him,,..but i know if i do decide to call, im going to feel sooo weak!!
then i ask myself why i want to be with his so bad..i was good for the first 2 weeks , and now im dying ....wish i wasnt in agony!!
why cant he feel that pain while away from me.,,,and not have that nees to see how im doing!!
i have to stop waiting for him,,,i have to get tuff or call him,,..but i know if i do decide to call, im going to feel sooo weak!!
Any news?
Wow I was in your position kind of and I left him and feel way better without him.
If you know you always come back to him then he don't really need to contact you because he knows you'll be back.
If you know you always come back to him then he don't really need to contact you because he knows you'll be back.
BTS~ Your assesment was spot on! I agree really about picking your battles. it took me 2 of this 3 years of marriage to figure that out, and it's really worked alot... even if I do slip up occasionally. :)
i think he is not ready to be in a relationship with you and I think you deserve much better. 3 days would be a long time not to call...3 weeks is crazy. I have only started to leave one time after a fight and dear hubby said he was sorry and begged me not to go when he saw how upset I was. He needs to think of you and the baby
If i could give you the best advice in the world it would be to IGNORE HIM
BUT i know how difficult that is. Im in a horrid situation with my ex boyfriend and i ALWAYS go running back to him even though he treats me like utter **** and clearly doesnt giva a damn about me or our unborn child. Why do i do it????
I dont know!!!!!!
But honestly, if i were you i would wait and see if he comes for you.
I cant do it myself and am always the one to make the first move, even though we are not together and its HIM who's the ar*ehole not me.
They say if you love someone set them free and if they come back to you theyre truly yours - i just wish i was strong enough to get rid of my ex until hes man enough to make the committment thats needed or to let me go for good.
BUT i know how difficult that is. Im in a horrid situation with my ex boyfriend and i ALWAYS go running back to him even though he treats me like utter **** and clearly doesnt giva a damn about me or our unborn child. Why do i do it????
I dont know!!!!!!
But honestly, if i were you i would wait and see if he comes for you.
I cant do it myself and am always the one to make the first move, even though we are not together and its HIM who's the ar*ehole not me.
They say if you love someone set them free and if they come back to you theyre truly yours - i just wish i was strong enough to get rid of my ex until hes man enough to make the committment thats needed or to let me go for good.
while there is no reason in the world for him to treat you that way, I have a different opinion, He DID ATTEMPT to contact you , and you did not bother to answer him, at all, I understand you did not feel ready, but, he did try, perhaps he got tired of trying, you state your older then him, men mature much slower, much much slower then women, call him, if you love him, it shouldnt be about who tries to win whos love back, call him and tell him you cant take the nonesense anymore, things have to change, it doesnt make you a bad person to contact him, tell him the way you feel, by you waiting on him to call you, your just as much at fault as he is
BTS1022~ That was hilarious! After reading your post, I now finally understand my husband after being with him for 10 years, married almost four of them. I think you have men pegged!
First thing is first, I don't know your situation so please dont think im trying to be a b**** or judge you because im not at all, this is just my opinion.
If you told him many times you were leaving and you always came back, it's like crying wolf. They start to not believe that you will actually leave, therefore the mans attmpts to get you to come back are no longer there, because he has it in his head that you will go home no matter what he says or does.
Second,
A marriage takes the work of both people, everyone comes with baggage or issues when they meet thier spouse, it is the way you unpack your baggage or throw you issues at the man. If you slowly fold and unpack your baggage it is easier to deal with, a lot of women, including myself tend to just throw the issues at their spouse instead of doing it nicely.
Third,
If a man doesnt or hasnt loved you, he wouldnt marry you....point blank. You hear about women marrying men for their money and so forth, well men aren't exactly like that. They don't marry for money, or for looks or for constant sex. When a man has made the decision to marry us it is 9 times out of 10 because they do love us.
Fourth and finale lol,
Men are stupid creatures when it comes to commitment, they are not emotional creatures like us women are, being emotional come natural for us girls, being emotional for men takes work, and that work usually starts as a child, some men are brought up to not cry, not be emotional and therefore not handle emotions easily or at all.
I learned the key to a marriage and the key to deal with men is to forgive them before they screw up, your man could do a total 180 and change, but he will always make a mistake or screw up, its natural for men to do so. Men lie and think they are good at it, what they dont realize is that eventually we find out, and we find out everything down the line. Therefore they will always lie.
Choose your battles wisely, like this example I use.....Is it really important to pick a fight with your husband because he puts the toilet paper on the roll backwards, or because he doesnt squeeze the toothpaste from the bottom of the tube? OR is it important that you sit down tun the tv off, and say "Honey, it would be very helpful if you could start doing the dishes for me twice a week". Men can't handle a lot of responsability lol.
Its like us women are Mac computers that can handle more than what is thrown at them, and men are PC's with windows vista who can only handle what they already have.
Other than that, I think reguardless of our opinions you will do what you feel is right, or what you want.
If you told him many times you were leaving and you always came back, it's like crying wolf. They start to not believe that you will actually leave, therefore the mans attmpts to get you to come back are no longer there, because he has it in his head that you will go home no matter what he says or does.
Second,
A marriage takes the work of both people, everyone comes with baggage or issues when they meet thier spouse, it is the way you unpack your baggage or throw you issues at the man. If you slowly fold and unpack your baggage it is easier to deal with, a lot of women, including myself tend to just throw the issues at their spouse instead of doing it nicely.
Third,
If a man doesnt or hasnt loved you, he wouldnt marry you....point blank. You hear about women marrying men for their money and so forth, well men aren't exactly like that. They don't marry for money, or for looks or for constant sex. When a man has made the decision to marry us it is 9 times out of 10 because they do love us.
Fourth and finale lol,
Men are stupid creatures when it comes to commitment, they are not emotional creatures like us women are, being emotional come natural for us girls, being emotional for men takes work, and that work usually starts as a child, some men are brought up to not cry, not be emotional and therefore not handle emotions easily or at all.
I learned the key to a marriage and the key to deal with men is to forgive them before they screw up, your man could do a total 180 and change, but he will always make a mistake or screw up, its natural for men to do so. Men lie and think they are good at it, what they dont realize is that eventually we find out, and we find out everything down the line. Therefore they will always lie.
Choose your battles wisely, like this example I use.....Is it really important to pick a fight with your husband because he puts the toilet paper on the roll backwards, or because he doesnt squeeze the toothpaste from the bottom of the tube? OR is it important that you sit down tun the tv off, and say "Honey, it would be very helpful if you could start doing the dishes for me twice a week". Men can't handle a lot of responsability lol.
Its like us women are Mac computers that can handle more than what is thrown at them, and men are PC's with windows vista who can only handle what they already have.
Other than that, I think reguardless of our opinions you will do what you feel is right, or what you want.
hey girl...thats my thinking exactly!! ive gone back too many times ...now its time for him to show that he remotely cares!! im tired of showing that i come back NO MATTER WHAT HE DOES TO ME , it shows him that i can take all kinds of abuse from him,,and ill always come back for more!! right on sister!!
i agree at 100%
i agree at 100%
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