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384896 tn?1335294331

Kinda OT but-

...has anyone else's lives become extremely DIFFICULT after getting pregnant?
Like stress all of a sudden shoots through the roof, people start talking more sh*t or start more drama just to give you a hard time...?
Or like, one bad thing keeps occuring after another?

My life is like, one giant cluster f*ck right now.
Everyone by my grandparents and my TRUE friends are trying to get me to leave my fiance because he's "Not worthy..."
or
"He's been lying to you the entire time."
or
"He's too immature. He's not gunna grow up. He's gunna just think about himself and ONLY himself."
or
"He's not gunna be a good daddy. He's not gunna provide for you and the baby..."

WTF guys.
Don't *I* have a f*ckin say in what *I* want?!?!

The only person I excuse from saying petty rude comments here n there is my mother, ONLY because she's scared that Ivy's gunna go without.
Which she won't- and I can promise her that right now.
And she's scared that Josh is gunna f*ck up and screw our lives up.
Which he most likely won't because he's determined to make sure our lives run smoothly.

But everyone else.... specially the people I live with.
I mean, I thought they were nice people, the daughter was supposed to be my best friends... for about 5 years now actually.
Now all over a sudden me n her are butting heads too.

I'm so sick of people talking bad about Josh, saying this and that, that I need to leave him and what not.

Just-
everyone up here is giving us a hard time, so we gatta go back to Texas in the beginning of August because it's the only way Josh n I are gunna be able to make a decent living because him and the males on his side of the family all are involved in the oil business...

The state is giving us a hard time.
Most of my family and close ones are giving us a hard time about EVERYTHING.

My life was running so smoothly up until I hit about 4 months.
Now everything is just like "ksajdgfklsajdgkojansrognasrhg."

Sorry I just needed to rant.
I feel like the world is against me at this point.
It's like, people are out to make my life as miserable as their own.

Anyone else have this happen to them, or feel that's what happened to them after they got pregnant?

I'm 7 months pregnant now, I'm NOT leave my friggin fiance, and I just want people to leave me the f*ck alone and let me live my life!!
UGH
9 Responses
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384896 tn?1335294331
Well my mother isn't too bad about it anymore.
I pretty much laid down the line with her a few weeks ago... now she'll only "Casually" throw something at me about Josh or whatever but I'm just like whatever mom, I'm 18, you can't control me.

She tried doing the same thing when she found out I was still hanging out with people she didn't "Approve" of.
And all she'd do is talk sh*t about them n what not, and I told her basically to back off, I don't choose your friends, don't think you can choose mine.

She's pretty cool about me being pregnant.
When she found out I was pregnant back in January she was "Mad" but I saw right through her and knew she was excited. lol
It was too obvious that she was.

The only thing that she has a problem with is Josh.
But I told her atleast he ain't abusive towards me, physically and verbally.
Atleast he doesn't call me a fat lazy piece of sh*t, like her boyfriend does to her.
Her boyfriends a dirty, mean truck driver.
Myfiance is a nice, caring guy, and he's got a job working in the oil field waiting for him when we get down there in August.
I don't see what her problem is.

As far as everyone else goes...
They love drama...
They love talking sh*t about others.
And since Josh is nice and has troubles sticking up for himself-
they target him.
And that's when my big mouth opens up and all hell breaks loose. lol
Helpful - 0
441754 tn?1216930890
I didn't get pregnant for the first time until I had just turned 20 but I had been with my husband since I was 16.  When we found out we were pregnant we were so scared but excited too but all of a sudden everyone else in my life seemed to start telling me how wrong he was and how I should move on.  Well, we lost that baby but we stayed together through it all.  We did put off getting engaged and moving in together (although we both had our won place but stayed over most of the time - but not everyone knew that lol) because everyone was so against it but we finally decided we didn't care so we gave up his place and I gor my ring but shortly after that we found out we were pregnant again (what can I say the pill does NOT work for me apparently) so we postponed the wedding because I didn't want to be huge in my dress.  We had our daughter (Nevada) in Jan 05 and then got married in May.  The whole I was pregnant and we were living together there were so many people talking **** and telling me how he wasn't good enough and all that garbage until about my 6th month when I got tired of it and everytime someone would say something I would just simply tell them that it is my life and my decision and that I wanted their opion I'd ask for it.  They quickly got the hint and left that subject alone and I didn't even have to blow up at them :D.  So anyway, we are now married and have gone through a lot of **** together but we still love each other and we are expecting our second princess.  He is the same boy that I fell in love with when I was 16 and I love him more every day.  Don't get me wrong, it's not all nice, there is plenty of bad mixed in but at the end of the day, he's my world and I know that I am his and that is all that matters.  So, I may not be 18 or 19 anymore but I do understand.  You just have to be strong and make your decisions for yourself.  Your family and friends all have their own lives to live and although they are probably just trying to give advice and "help", you have to make your own decisions.  Hey you are old enough to get pregnant, have a baby, and raise a child, so you should be old enough to live YOUR life.  Maybe you could just talk to some of the people harassing you and just let them know how you feel about what they are saying and that you are aware of their opions and that you really need to make your own decisions and that you need their support right now, not their criticism and that it is starting to hurt your relationship with them.  Hopefully they will get the point.  Good luck, and if it doesn't work, you can always rant at me if you need to get it out :D
Helpful - 0
285848 tn?1219092313
I can kind of relate to you, but I really don't know if it would have been the same. I got pregnant at 18 by my fiance. He is so sweet and was as excited as me, and as devastated when I miscarried. My family like Steven, but feel like I could do better. They fortunately don't step in and try and get me to leave him. My grandfather and my dad both think he won't amount to anything and may never be able to support me. Steven has some mental issues because of an accident when he was a child leaving him with brain damage. He is dislexic and horrible at schooling or anything. He wants to go to school but he feels like he can't really succeed because of his incapabilities but I love him more then anything and would support him in anything. He's hurt me on numerous occasions early on in our relationship, but were great now and have been for a year. They think he doesn't deserve me and sometimes I feel like I can do better myself, but I love him so much and don't want someone super smart and rich, I want Steven. Its not your parents decision as to who you date and who you don't. I am glad your'e not just going to up and leave the one you love because thats what they want. Have you ever told them that its what YOU want and they should respect that? If moving back to Texas is what you think is best for you and your baby then so be it. Its not their decision and you are very admirable for doing what you feel is right. Congrats on your baby by the way, not too long and he/she will be in your arms, with Josh at your side.
Helpful - 0
384896 tn?1335294331
Thanks ladies.
I've been doing some thinking, and we're starting to cut ends off with the people that are causing issues in both mine and Josh's lives.

I think moving back to Texas will be best because atleast there, without Josh's pain in the a$$ brother, sister n law, and their kid around... all we gatta deal with is Josh's mom's mood swings... which isn't too bad if the sister n law and them aren't there making them WORSE. lol

I wish we could have planned this sooner because when we finally go back, I'll be 8 months pregnant, it's gunna be a little difficult. lol

Ontop of that we're not flying... his daddy's comin up to get us with the truck.
Talk about a pit-stop every hour just so I can pee. lolol
Oh well.
They'll get over it. lolol
Helpful - 0
363110 tn?1340920419
Oh... and because I'm only working 2-3days a week I'm beginning to worry a little about the bills.> I shouldn't I know because our bills are paid up this month already (except for cable... that'll get paid in 2 weeks)
But still... I keep thinking. What if I have to take Mat. Leave in this  next month after I hit 8 8 1/2mo??!?
Helpful - 0
363110 tn?1340920419
Sorry about how things are going. My problems seem small compared to the BS going on with you. I'm REALLY sorry, and if you want to rant to me, feel free to PM me here or on Myspace.

I spent 4hrs in the hospital today getting IV fluids due to dehydration. my mom and I are butting heads already about moving into a place together, mainly because I told her to get her **** together after she was on my case for a week to get my housing app's in and they've been waiting on hers for 2 months now! She tried to say we can't afford the place we're in now... which isn't the case, we just won't have a second bedroom for TJ if we stay here.

Luckily... with all the drama today w/the hospital, I got to see that Hubby really does care... he was kindof doing a mini freakout on the way to the hospital. Even tho I was COMPLETELY CALM the whole time! it was kind of cute honestly.
Helpful - 0
358455 tn?1277433619
we grow up, and this happens at one point or another, whether you are pregnant or not. people are not always going to agree with your choices for one reason or the other, people will be against you, you make decisions and live with them. all parts of being an adult and a parent. If you want things to change you have to make it happen, people places and things. if you hold on to one, you keep them all. dont talk to the people who are purposely trying to destroy your relationship. dont hang out in the places these people stay. and dont do the things that will call attention to yourself from these people. It is most likely because people like your mother care about you, and you will soon find that as a mother it is not at all easy to let go. at all. I would say as long as you are looking at the thing as a whole, putting your child first in whatever decision you make, you are making the right one and what others think wont matter. When i became pregnant at 16, yes i was judged, i am to this day. does it matter to me? not at all, my children are the center of this universe and they have everything they will ever need (and most of what they want lol) But I had a lot of difficult decisions to make, and to someone who has never felt motherly love, it may seem that some decisions put you on the back burner. but in reality, as long as your child comes first you always win. i could write forever about how i feel on this but i think you get the point. good luck, settle down, feel better, enjoy your miracle, make the BEST with what you've been given.
Helpful - 0
435139 tn?1255460391
Sorry to hear things aren't working out in MA...hopefully things will get better soon!  I had a mc at 11 weeks so I can't relate but I just wanted to let you know that I was thinking of you =)
Helpful - 0
503882 tn?1288843037
I know how you feel.. (kind of).. This is my first baby too.. and Im young like you.. The only thing is Im not dating my "babys daddy" because my parents refuse to support me if I got back to him.. So I have had a lot of stress with him and my parents because my family doesn't like him (to say the least) they think he is an A****** and talk **** about him all the time.. Everytime I bring him up they have nothing nice to say about him.. When I found out that I was pregnant they begged me not to tell him.. etc. etc.. I hang out with him when I can and I love spending time with him.. because he is nice to me.. and hes excited.. which my parents completly blow off.. They kind of just dont like him because hes not the type of guy they would have picked for me to be with.. so they hold a huge grudge.. and because shortly after i turned 18 me and my dad got in a HUGE fight and I moved in with my boyfriend.. So they think that everytime some sort of family problem comes up I go running to him and that I basically just use them for a place to live, food, and all that good stuff.. Which isn't true because I sleep at my parents house because I have to.. I eat at work or at Travis's (babys dads) and I spend most of my time when Travis and I arent at work with him..
But yes I definatly understand how you feel like everything in your life is going to S**T.. I feel like I lost all of my "real friends" because I can't drink or party anymore and now I have all these stupid pregnant friends who I only talk to on facebook or myspace and the only reason they ever started talking to me in the first place is becase Im pregnant.. So its dumb.. My "best" friend is pregnant too.. Shes 20 weeks tomorrow and ill be 24 Thursday so we are almost exactly a month apart but she isn't excited about being pregnant or having a baby AT ALL.. She has like 2 outfits.. and sometimes talks about how she isn't even showing yet and that Im going to be huge compared to her and blah blah.. And I have like a whole dresser full of clothes.. A bassinette.. A bouncy.. A pack n play.. A stroller.. and a carseat.. So its like im all excited and prepared and she could give less of a S**T and when I talk about being pregnant she actually seems jealous for some reason.. So its stupid and I find myself getting mad at her like all the time.. because she just acts so immature.. Idk she drives me nuts..
But sorry to ramble.. Lol I think that just kicks in with the hormones when you get pregnant you get crazy P****D at everyone that doubts your intentions and stuff like that.. I get mad at people ALL the time now and I just want to be calm and laid back and its like literally impossible.  I think a big part of it has to do with the fact that we are young and no one thinks that someone who is 18 or 19 can have their S**T straight enough to raise a baby.. But whatever.. Try not to let them bother you.. It will be over soon.  
Helpful - 0
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