Aa
Need to vent-OT
I just really need to talk to someone about this, and please if I'm being stupid tell me.
Ok. As of right now I'm a SAHM and DH works. We manage to survive on 1200 a month. (I stretch our budget as far as possible) Each month we pay 400 for insurance, our phones, food, gas, etc. As such, we rarely go out or anything. My vent is about my sister.
She is 20, and my niece is a year old. She dropped out of high school In 9th or 10th grade and has never had to work. I'm constantly hearing about how hard her and her boyfriend have it, and how they're always struggling. And I just found out this is BS. Her boyfriend makes a good chunk of money a month, so they have around 3000 a month. Because she's unmarried, she qualifies for food stamps, insurance for them all (I have NO idea how, as Phil never qualified even before we got married) and etc. As a result of what they get, they only really pay rent, and that's 600 a month--they have no other utility's because they live with a friend. They're too "poor" to live alone. She's also always borrowing money from family, yet on the rare occasion I need gas money or money for prescriptions all hell breaks loose. This is how they spend money: my sister and her boyfriend smoke--heavily. Like 4 packs a day heavy. He also dips? (some nasty tobacco you hold in your mouth) and they do drugs. They go out all the time, and once went to buy a $7,000 boat.
I am so sick of it!!!!! They lie to the government to get assistance, they waste money on stupid crap, they pay NOTHING for pretty much everything and struggle because of their own immaturity. Phil and I pay our bills, are responsible and honest and yet can never win. My mood also is helped by the fact that I just learned our cars tire belt blew and we need 600 for tires and a new wheel. I don't get it. It's not fair, and no matter how hard we try we can't win. (we also can't apply for assistance, as phil makes too much. We tried) I know I'm probably being stupid, but I'm so close to crying and just giving up.
Ok. As of right now I'm a SAHM and DH works. We manage to survive on 1200 a month. (I stretch our budget as far as possible) Each month we pay 400 for insurance, our phones, food, gas, etc. As such, we rarely go out or anything. My vent is about my sister.
She is 20, and my niece is a year old. She dropped out of high school In 9th or 10th grade and has never had to work. I'm constantly hearing about how hard her and her boyfriend have it, and how they're always struggling. And I just found out this is BS. Her boyfriend makes a good chunk of money a month, so they have around 3000 a month. Because she's unmarried, she qualifies for food stamps, insurance for them all (I have NO idea how, as Phil never qualified even before we got married) and etc. As a result of what they get, they only really pay rent, and that's 600 a month--they have no other utility's because they live with a friend. They're too "poor" to live alone. She's also always borrowing money from family, yet on the rare occasion I need gas money or money for prescriptions all hell breaks loose. This is how they spend money: my sister and her boyfriend smoke--heavily. Like 4 packs a day heavy. He also dips? (some nasty tobacco you hold in your mouth) and they do drugs. They go out all the time, and once went to buy a $7,000 boat.
I am so sick of it!!!!! They lie to the government to get assistance, they waste money on stupid crap, they pay NOTHING for pretty much everything and struggle because of their own immaturity. Phil and I pay our bills, are responsible and honest and yet can never win. My mood also is helped by the fact that I just learned our cars tire belt blew and we need 600 for tires and a new wheel. I don't get it. It's not fair, and no matter how hard we try we can't win. (we also can't apply for assistance, as phil makes too much. We tried) I know I'm probably being stupid, but I'm so close to crying and just giving up.
Don't get me wrong I see a lot of people get away with things all the time, but then years later even I see a consequence come to them. Granted it may be in a different form but it comes. I guess what frustrates you is when you are going through an issue and having to struggle and you see others are taking an easier way out by bending the truth beyond words. Just hang in there you are doing the right thing right now and let that alone be an example to others. As a side note I think we totally need to start a work-at-home mom forum on here. I have been in the situation before and I am quite familiar with the struggle, being able to work at home has helped tremendously.
I believe in it, but I've watched enough people (such as my dad) get away with close to murder and he's still yet to pay the price, while not a day yet passes that I don't pay for what he did.
Guess I just gotta hope.
Guess I just gotta hope.
For me I just mind my own business and believe in karma and that usually catches up with everyone when it is supposed to.
@Adgal: good for you!!! I'm all for people who TRULY need it to use the welfare system, it's the lazy slobs that I dislike.
@Clysta: I think you really should consider turning them in, even if it's anonymously. Otherwise they will continue to mooch off of the system for as long as they are able. It's one thing if someone has to lie to get around a technicality if they TRULY need assistance, but to do so just because you are materialistic and lazy is pathetic.
@Clysta: I think you really should consider turning them in, even if it's anonymously. Otherwise they will continue to mooch off of the system for as long as they are able. It's one thing if someone has to lie to get around a technicality if they TRULY need assistance, but to do so just because you are materialistic and lazy is pathetic.
I know I don't post over here very often, but I do read the posts, and had to had to comment on this one. When I was in my early 20's my best friend did this. She had a baby, lived with her boyfriend who made really great money and supported them. She chose not to marry him (which was her business, could care less) so that she could claim welfare. She lied about her boyfriend supporting them. They bought a HOUSE for goodness sake, all with her collecting welfare. I got fed up and told her I was going to turn her in. Those are my tax dollars right? (I had a job and was going to school at the time). I warned her twice to stop or i was going to do it - and I did it. I turned her in. I hate a cheat. There are so many people like your DH and you, doing what they should be doing, taking care of their child, and doing it on not a lot of money. People that cheat the system cheat all of us and take out of the mouths of those who truly and really need the extra help. I know, it's your sister and I know reporting her would be next to impossible, but had to get my two cents in. Ironic thing is, we stayed friends. In fact, several years later when she married her boyfriend, I was in her wedding party. And she knew it was me that did it. She now say's I did her a favor - she would have stayed on the system forever.
I totally understand!! I have a dear friend who I love to pieces. She has been my friend since we were like 14 or 15. We are not 36 so we have been friends for a very long time. Now granted, she isn't educated or anything at all. She is one of 6 and I think she may be the only one that can read. They all grew up on the system and that is all she saw. Her shampoo and conditioner, growing up, was a bar of soap. If she wanted hair spray or make-up as a teenager, she simply stole it. She grew up poor. I remember them never having A/C and we have some hot summers here in Texas. I remember their broom being their vacuum cleaner.
Now, all of this being said, I get annoyed because she lives off the system too. I tried, right after high school, to try to encourage her to take at least a computer class or typing or just something. But she is very introverted and never would. She has HUD for housing so she only pays like $50 to $100 a month for her housing. She makes about $1400 a month herself working at a cleaners. She lives w/ a guy but they aren't married so the government doesn't know about him. He makes about the same amount as she does. He is also here illegally, which is another hot topic for me. His brother lives with them and I know he pays rent. I'm not sure how much exactly, but I'd say anywhere from $300 to $400 per month. Come to think of it, I think another brother of his lives w/ them paying the same amount. So we are up to about $3400 to $3600 per month now right? So, she has this income, plus has HUD for housing. She also has medicaid for her kids and gets food stamps. I get so annoyed because she always complains about how broke she is too, but I am not sure how, since she doesn't have to pay the normal bills that the rest of us have to pay. I mean, she pays utilities such as cable, phone, internet, lights, a car and insurance payment. She has a nice cell phone and nice TVs, which she rents to own from Aarons. Don't know if they have those in other states, but you can rent to own furniture and appliances at this store. She is a diabetic and I know her meds are super expensive and she has no insurance for herself so that is all out of pocket. She does for her kids. I mean, they are so lucky compared to how she grew up.
So I love my friend to pieces but do get annoyed when I hear her complain about money because we make maybe the same on a good month and have a large family and pay $1400 for our mortgage alone. The 2 cars and insurance are another $1000. Don't even get me started on our food bill, etc. We do struggle a lot but my husband works his butt off to provide for us. He works a regular full time job and has his own small business, which is really struggling right now and we can't make it on his regular full time job alone.
Sooooo, I do know how you feel. It's just crazy how people can be. Friend or not, it does bother me tremendously. It just isn't fair.
Now, all of this being said, I get annoyed because she lives off the system too. I tried, right after high school, to try to encourage her to take at least a computer class or typing or just something. But she is very introverted and never would. She has HUD for housing so she only pays like $50 to $100 a month for her housing. She makes about $1400 a month herself working at a cleaners. She lives w/ a guy but they aren't married so the government doesn't know about him. He makes about the same amount as she does. He is also here illegally, which is another hot topic for me. His brother lives with them and I know he pays rent. I'm not sure how much exactly, but I'd say anywhere from $300 to $400 per month. Come to think of it, I think another brother of his lives w/ them paying the same amount. So we are up to about $3400 to $3600 per month now right? So, she has this income, plus has HUD for housing. She also has medicaid for her kids and gets food stamps. I get so annoyed because she always complains about how broke she is too, but I am not sure how, since she doesn't have to pay the normal bills that the rest of us have to pay. I mean, she pays utilities such as cable, phone, internet, lights, a car and insurance payment. She has a nice cell phone and nice TVs, which she rents to own from Aarons. Don't know if they have those in other states, but you can rent to own furniture and appliances at this store. She is a diabetic and I know her meds are super expensive and she has no insurance for herself so that is all out of pocket. She does for her kids. I mean, they are so lucky compared to how she grew up.
So I love my friend to pieces but do get annoyed when I hear her complain about money because we make maybe the same on a good month and have a large family and pay $1400 for our mortgage alone. The 2 cars and insurance are another $1000. Don't even get me started on our food bill, etc. We do struggle a lot but my husband works his butt off to provide for us. He works a regular full time job and has his own small business, which is really struggling right now and we can't make it on his regular full time job alone.
Sooooo, I do know how you feel. It's just crazy how people can be. Friend or not, it does bother me tremendously. It just isn't fair.
I know how u feel. Dh sister and her family depend on dh mother for everything! She got a free truck(we had to buy the one they had that they didn't want), all their school clothes and supplies are bought every year for 4 kids, all their kids soccer, dancing, twirling, and any other whim is paid for, their vacations every year paid for, and the list goes on and on . Dh mother and father both talk to dh like he is an idiot and a loser! He has supported us since we got married put himself through school and works 3 jobs so I can stay home to be with the kids and he still finds time to coach their sports etc. Wow such a loser right??? Its also the same with my brother. Every vehicle he has ever owned was bought by my parents(6 vehicles) every place he has ever lived my parents paid the deposit, up until recently my mom was letting him use her gas card but he now has a company truck so thats paid for. He is divorced x 2. His kids don't live with him. One lives with my mom and the other lives with her mom but that's not the bad part. He is so poor! That's all I ever hear. Yet he makes 35 bucks an hour. My mom is always saying how broke he is. I was like really????? Lol so I totally understand. It just ***** working hard and being honest yet being looked down on. Sorry u have to deal with that.
WOW! Sorry but your sister is a walking reason for me saying out with welfare except for people who TRULY do need it. That really pisses me off. I mean Josh makes a decent amount of money, and if we didn't have all the bills that we do have we'd be a lot better off, but we're slowly paying them all off. It's unfair for someone to take what they don't deserve, and if you have money you should be putting responsibilities and needs first, and wants and desires last!
I totally understand your vent. We constantly hear the "poor S and his family" all the time from my grandma talking about my uncle and his family. It gets old hearing it all the time and it was him who get them into their own mess. He had the grand idea to try to start his own business with a product that was a luxury item in a bad economy. Smart move, huh? lol. Yea, and now my grandma will try to give him money or extras to help him. She always talks about how unfair it is that he is now "struggling", though even after his failed business, he is still doing fine. I'm sure many people would love to start their own business, I know my dad would LOVE to, but they don't because it's a huge risk and no one has the extra money to do so. It's frustrating. Though really there is nothing we can do about it. You can try the anonymous tip if you want to, though not sure what good that would do, especially if she were to find out!
"People keep buying things they don't need, with money they don't have, to impress people they don't like." -- just like that quote, because it can be so true sometimes.
"People keep buying things they don't need, with money they don't have, to impress people they don't like." -- just like that quote, because it can be so true sometimes.
Yes, and she keeps saying that it's just in my head. I don't know my biological dad, so there's just my mom.
you didn't sound ungrateful...your family shouldn't play favorites like that, have you ever brought up this issue with your parents?
Thank you all so much!!!
I really hope I didn't sound ungrateful, as I truly am. I know there are those out there who have it so much worse. I just hate that I ask to borrow money on the rare occasion and I get "Well what do you need it for this time?" yet my sister asks (mind you, she borrows upwards of 100-200 at a time, I ask for 20) and my mom asks if she needs extra spending money, and if they'll be ok. I know that we'll come out on top, I just hate the process to get there.
I really hope I didn't sound ungrateful, as I truly am. I know there are those out there who have it so much worse. I just hate that I ask to borrow money on the rare occasion and I get "Well what do you need it for this time?" yet my sister asks (mind you, she borrows upwards of 100-200 at a time, I ask for 20) and my mom asks if she needs extra spending money, and if they'll be ok. I know that we'll come out on top, I just hate the process to get there.
I can relate to your situation my sister is a total looser who just smokes week all day and takes millions of self pics to post on her facebook and myspace acc which she is able to have because she is stealing wireless connection from neighbor...she knows all the tricks needed to get the most out of the state is pisses me off...income tax time comes around and she uses her mother in laws children's social security number and claims them, I believe she got close to 9,000 back last year and she went on a vacation where she acted like she was rolling in money...It's really sad when I think how much I would have liked for our relationship to be a loving sister relationship but sometimes things just aren't like they should...I have learned that the best thing to do is move on with my life and that the best revenge is self improvement...I am waiting on my husband to graduate this december from police academy then I'm going back to school to become a registered nurse...Do what you can to better your self and your family and in the end rub it in her face like there is no tomorrow lol good luck and hopefully some day you can look back at all of it and laugh...
Not stupid at all, Frankly Im a bit pissed hearing about it... Truly not fair that people think its acceptable to just LIE and CHEAT their way through life when others work so hard to do whats right... I agree with LosingMyMindInGA - Just a thought but I would be making an anonymous tip as well.... Just keep in mind those that do good will be rewarded in the end! Keep your head up!
I saw a saying before that said "what you don't have, don't count" and I always like that as frustrating as it may be. We always have exactly what we need. It might be less than I think we should have, and sometimes it might be more. The important thing though looking back and even now, is we always have what we need and there are always people out there that have a lot less.
I totally know what you mean though I am always amazed at the number of people around me that have plenty more and complain. I guess what keeps me in check is I can accept whatever we have and be grateful for it and do it with absolute grace. Yes I get worried, and yes I always run into obstacles or financial roadblocks but it makes me find a different way of doing things and in the long run there is always a reason for that.
Thanks for venting and sharing your thoughts.
I totally know what you mean though I am always amazed at the number of people around me that have plenty more and complain. I guess what keeps me in check is I can accept whatever we have and be grateful for it and do it with absolute grace. Yes I get worried, and yes I always run into obstacles or financial roadblocks but it makes me find a different way of doing things and in the long run there is always a reason for that.
Thanks for venting and sharing your thoughts.
It's not stupid to be upset about this at all. Frankly, if I were in your position I would seriously consider anonymously reporting them to welfare. But, that's just an idea.
You cant get too mad, because you will just make yourself stressed when you really cant change it. Just keep living your life as you see fit and try to ignore other peoples BS, really just don't help them. My husband and I make good money, but we struggle also. Money is one of those things that there is never enough of.
Oh girlfriend I can totally sympathize...mind scooting over on the couch so I can lie down and have a crack at this vent? LOL
As you know, my BIL recently came out of the closet...left his family...etc...became a totally self-absorbed D-bag. Well...my SIL just came out of the closet as well. Sigh. Don't ask me how two gay people who didn't know the other was gay managed to marry and have 2 children before they miraculously figured it out. But whatever, that's not my problem.
my problem is this....my BIL brings in about $2200 a month..my SIL about $1000. now..both of them have moved home with their parents. So no rent, no utilities. But they go out to the gay club every saturday together...and they go to the movies and whatnot all the time, and out to eat and my BIL has started buying expensive hair products and nail polish and clothes...(which pisses me off but w/e).
but my BIL was supposed to pay my MIL/FIL rent when he first moved home...however, he's "too poor"....HOW?! he pays for ONLY his car payment $200 a month. he even asks for help when his kids need something like milk or shoes.
HOW?!??! he claims he can't afford to pay rent to his parents, but he has a gym membership, he can go out whenever he wants, brand new wardrobe, etc...
it makes me sick. His wife is on food stamps as well while she's living with her parents....who bring in well over $100,000 a year. it's disgusting.
Meanwhile hubby and I live comfortably on one salary...we've done EVERYTHING right...but of course once in awhile we struggle (like this last paycheck we had over $700 in bills due and not quite that much, so we got a loan from the in-laws until next payday)...but we don't get to go out. we don't get to go bowling, or to the movies - we haven't seen the last harry potter movie yet despite what big fans we are.
HOW can people who take advantage of other people and live so carelessly with their money live that way, yet the people who work hard and spend wisely struggle? it's bs.
I'm totally with you.
As you know, my BIL recently came out of the closet...left his family...etc...became a totally self-absorbed D-bag. Well...my SIL just came out of the closet as well. Sigh. Don't ask me how two gay people who didn't know the other was gay managed to marry and have 2 children before they miraculously figured it out. But whatever, that's not my problem.
my problem is this....my BIL brings in about $2200 a month..my SIL about $1000. now..both of them have moved home with their parents. So no rent, no utilities. But they go out to the gay club every saturday together...and they go to the movies and whatnot all the time, and out to eat and my BIL has started buying expensive hair products and nail polish and clothes...(which pisses me off but w/e).
but my BIL was supposed to pay my MIL/FIL rent when he first moved home...however, he's "too poor"....HOW?! he pays for ONLY his car payment $200 a month. he even asks for help when his kids need something like milk or shoes.
HOW?!??! he claims he can't afford to pay rent to his parents, but he has a gym membership, he can go out whenever he wants, brand new wardrobe, etc...
it makes me sick. His wife is on food stamps as well while she's living with her parents....who bring in well over $100,000 a year. it's disgusting.
Meanwhile hubby and I live comfortably on one salary...we've done EVERYTHING right...but of course once in awhile we struggle (like this last paycheck we had over $700 in bills due and not quite that much, so we got a loan from the in-laws until next payday)...but we don't get to go out. we don't get to go bowling, or to the movies - we haven't seen the last harry potter movie yet despite what big fans we are.
HOW can people who take advantage of other people and live so carelessly with their money live that way, yet the people who work hard and spend wisely struggle? it's bs.
I'm totally with you.
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