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Negative PT
Morning All,

My PT was negative, and based on my boy friends outburst yesterday it looks like it's going to remain that way.  We've been together for almost eight years bad and good.  Now he blames me for his "F"upped life.  Everything is my fault.  I ruined his life and so on.  He said a lot of hurtful thing to me, which I will never forgive because he says it just to hurt me.  To be honest I was ready for him to leave after the way he reacted when I told him I was pregnant.  Then I lost the baby. Then he became an even bigger ***.  I've put up with his **** for 8 years and all I want is a baby. I love him but I never needed him.  He's the one who depends on me for everything.  I think it’s over.  I’ve given him the last eight years of my life.  I’m scared I have no one, no friends other than my family, he kept me isolated from everything and everybody.  He didn’t come home last night, I wish he would leave.
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342988 tn?1299785956
i am sorry you are going through this.  Sometime my fiance is very unsupportive and acts like a **** and we have been together 7 years.  I find myself asking sometimes why i am with him but then there are other times when i know i never want to be without him.  Relationships are strange like that.

Did you get your period yet?  When are you due for it?  Maybe you could still be pregnant.  It took a week after my period was due to gte a positive result.
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No period since Aug 16th, found out I had a missed M/C on 11/21 I had a D&C done on the same day.  Im very irregular so I'm not sure when to expect my period.  Doctors wont help either they just keep saying wait.  Our relationship has gotten very bad sometimes I think I fear him more then I love him.  But I want a baby, so I have been putting up with it.
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342988 tn?1299785956
that is unhealthy though.  You should never fear him.  A relationship needs to be a 2 way street.  Have you tried counseling with him?  Do you fear him mentally or physically?

I had a d and c done on 10/12 and did not get my period until 11/18 which is almost 7 weeks after,  My doctor said it cane sometime take up to 3 months to get your period back because the d and c takes out your uterus lining, so it has to have time to re-build itself.
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395769 tn?1318453282
I'm so sorry to hear about this Men can be such ***holes.  I've been with mine 7 years and arguing is kind of our thing lol  but he's never not come home.  It can be really scary leaving when you've been together for so long.  it's more then love it's life, you've built it together grown together, but if your not happy the majority of the time you have to do what you have to do.  However this is prob a really emotinonal time for you and if you were preg an mc id doesn't mean your hormones didn't get all ***ked up, so don't make any rash decisions, because threatening a man with leaving doesn't work well.. (trust me I KNOW)  just think seriously about your whole relationship and you'll know what to do good luck girl stay strong.
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He has never hit me but he is very verbal and puts holes in the wall from time to time.  Last week I asked him to move out and he pulled the suicide card.  I don't know what to do, he is very controling.  I was hoping when I took the PT this morning that it would be positive.  I would get what I want out of the relationship and he could leave.
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341551 tn?1266984330
Aww sweetie I'm so sorry you're going through this. Relationships can be really tough...
It seems to me like he has a lot of unresolved anger issues...and threatening to kill himself? That's not good. I would seriously try and get him some help...thats not a good environment for you to be around. And you want his baby? I know how much you want a baby (I'm in the same boat) but if you have a baby with him, this guy will always be a part of your life because he will be the daddy...do you really want that? I think that would just makes things more difficult for you..and think of the situation the baby will be in.

Do you love this guy? Would you be willing to make it work? Sometimes when you're with someone for so long they become a part of you..whether you love them anymore or not. They become a part of your family, your life..you know them inside out and its scary to think you wont be with that person anymore. But thats just because you're so comfortable...and you've built kind of a life schedule with them...but if you're truly unhappy and scared I would get out..you deserve better and you don't want to waste anymore of your life...you can always start over. Good Luck Hun! Remember, we're always here to talk and to listen.
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Your right, my hormones and stress level are still off.  But I'm also scared like you said this relationship is my life, I have nothing else.  If we end it, I don't know were to start.  I have no friends or involvement in the outside world other than my job which consists of me and my mom.  Everything I did we did together.  For now I think I'm gonna step back and see what happens.  
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200198 tn?1259891197
Even if you want a baby don't have it with someone you don't love or someone who is mean to you. I mean wouldn't you rather make a baby making love with someone you love more then anything then just doing it getting it over with so that you hopfully you get a baby. Imagine having a baby with someone who loves you so much and would make a wonderful father for your baby to look up too. Someone who will kiss you and tell you what a great job you did after all that hard work of birthing your baby and bringing it into the world. There are those kinda men out there. Men who don't yell and scream. My husband is  a wonderful father to our children and I don't know how I would ever do it if I didn't have him. Yeah we fight like anyone else but I would never want him to leave or have the kids not see him. I am juts saying for you sake have a baby with someone you love. Someone who will treat you and your baby like you are the most precious this on this earth. It's only fair to you and the future child
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Thank you for your response.  In my mind I know your right, its my heart thats all messed up.  If we can manage to have a controlled conversation this weekend I will be able to figure things out.
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Thank you, your posts are allowing me to think more clearly.  I do deserve a man that loves me and wants a family.  I dont think my boyfriend is ever going to change his behavior.  I'm 30 years old and I want life.  I want children and a loving home.  
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200198 tn?1259891197
Good luck honey. I hope you get everything you deserve and more
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341551 tn?1266984330
I know he is your life....before I Married my husband I was in a relationship like that. You life revolves around him...even if you want it to or not...it just does. And the thought of not having that scares you. Not because you love him but because you'd be alone and have to start completely over which is very scary. But try to look at it this way...would you rather spend the rest of your life with him because you're afraid to be alone or start over? Or would you rather move on...even though it's going to be difficult but people do it everyday..and you can find someone who treats you the way you want to be treated and someone who adores you and wants to build a life with you. Don't hold your dreams back for anyone...don't put your life on hold because you don't want to be alone..sometimes when you're alone thats when you truly find yourself and realize what you want in life and that enables you to go out there and find it. Just do what makes you happy girl, sometimes you can only rely on yourself. Good Luck!! We're here if you need us.
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