Aa
Newly pregnant and not feeling happy about it.
So, you guys know I received news after a blood test Thursday that I was indeed pregnant with my first child. I posted here, happy, shocked, excited...now I am feeling none of that. I feel fear and almost regret.Like, what have I done? I have wanted this for so long it feels like so why can't I be happy??? I don't know if it's hormones playing tricks on me...will I feel a ton better once I see a heartbeat?? Michael is thrilled, over the moon, told everyone and has been out after work every night since we found out, celebrating. It's like I have this dirty little secret that I am not happy yet. I fear the test results next week, I keep thinking it's going to be, "I'm sorry Renee, but your levels aren't rising, better luck next time" I am scared every little thing I do is going to negatively impact my results next week and I know thats not true but I feel like I just need to lay here and not move for nine months and maybe I will have a fighting chance..I hope none of you take this the wrong way. I want this baby, ALOT. According to my LMP I am 5 weeks today...it's so early...I wish I could sleep the next 7 weeks and wake up still pregnant...Am I a freak? And why does it seem like since I found out for sure 100% that I was pregnant, every symptom I have is 100 times worse...my boobs hurt more, my mood swings are worse, I am more tired than I was (which is hard to believe I am more tired than I was before I knew). I just needed to vent and if any of you have been through this before, I sure would appreciate some words of wisdom...
I'm feeling that right this second believe it or not. Im so happy and so is my boyfriend BUT yesterday i couldnt help thinking OMG! im going to be a mum i actually had the biggest panic attack and started hyperventilating and my Boyfriend was like whats wrong so i told him he was like Dont worry im gonig to be with you every step of the way, i have so many brothers and sisters I have looked after kids near enough my whole life... So i do find it pretty easy. but cause this one is going to be my own its different. Im petrified of going into labour.... Im worried incase i dont bond, everything....
I really want this baby it means the world to me, but because my boyfriends sister is having a baby and she is the person who makes EVERYTHING a competition probs even try and breathe better than you if she could! She's ridiculous and she will put me down every possible way alothough she doesnt even look after the son she already has, going out everynight gettting drunk although she is pregnant already!! ...
Im bricking myself. You just gotta have Faith :)
Everythin will be OKAY !!
:)
xxx
I really want this baby it means the world to me, but because my boyfriends sister is having a baby and she is the person who makes EVERYTHING a competition probs even try and breathe better than you if she could! She's ridiculous and she will put me down every possible way alothough she doesnt even look after the son she already has, going out everynight gettting drunk although she is pregnant already!! ...
Im bricking myself. You just gotta have Faith :)
Everythin will be OKAY !!
:)
xxx
I think what you are feeling is completely normal for a first time pregnancy. There is a lot of uncertainty and fear involved with bringing a new life into the world. I know, I've done it 5 times about to be 6. But it also sounds like you already care about this child you are carrying. Only you can make a decision on what road to take but it's not an easy decision to make, and being prepared and educated on your options can only benefit you. There are far more things to consider here aside from what you will lose. There is all that you will have to GAIN from this child. It sounds like you are extremely confused at the moment, perhaps finding a counselor you can trust, one that is completely unbiased in your situation, to discuss all of your feelings with will help you to sort through everything and remove the fog you are in so that you can see things realistically. Whatever road you choose, I wish you the best of luck. If you have any questions or concerns or just need to vent, please feel free to post a new question!!!
All I feel is angst. No joy, no elation. I am 38 - have lived a free-spirited, well-travelled life, hey, I am an Aquarius - I naturally like my space and freedom - and worry about how this will impact my life in ways that I am afraid will make me bitter, resentful - even towards my loving, happy, supportive partner - who is on the other side of the world, and who must constantly feel that I am a swining pendulum. That's the hard part, knowing I am loved deeply by this man, but feeling his absence greater than feeling anything else - and it makes me angry. Then I feel blameful. I am pro-choice, and do not need advice around what to do or not to do - this would be my first and likely only child, for I never saw myself in this role - but then I fell in love in the last year, and the relationship seemed to dictate more than I planned, and having just spent three months with him (on the other side of the world, not even close enough for monthly visits), I returned to mine - pregnant. Now he plans to come before the birth (due Jan 6), take a leave of absence, and figure it out as we go. To me it just feels all too by the seat of your pants, and while I am an adventurous gal, I am also practical, and a naturally anxious person - who thinks too much about her own happiness and well-being. I just don't want to lose myself. And I wonder if I have decided to keep it (if I've decided at all), it's because I feel pressured (he paints the most lovely pictures in telling me how it's all going to be - Pisces - he's the Dreamer); but is having a child amidst so much doubt and lack of enthusiasm - a good thing? Won't it carry over after the pregnancy, whereby I will possibly end of in a state of depression because of great regret. The committment to a baby, and it being the determined factor as to why my partner and I commit even further - seems bigger than me - and I feel that I have been or will be swallowed up by this whole scenario. I don't know. My partner's joy is infectious and contagious - but it feels like relying in his feelings to make me feel good about all this - not a good way to go. And I am so inconsistent with him, every day, my mind is different, that he's feeling angst too. And while I know he wants me to keep it, I am 9 weeks - I know he would support any decision - as he told me he doesn't want me to feel pressured, and that his love for me is The Dream, and the baby the declaration of such a union. But all I can think about is how short-changed my life will be, what if I am too compromising? What if my partner can't adapt to my country, I already have difficulty with his - that, and it's so far away from all my true great community of friends, and of course - family. Two flying days away! I am just worried about so much What Ifs. And yet, I am protective of the baby, taking my vitamins, doing my yoga, attending school, not drinking or smoking, which I don''t do regularly anyway - though, panicked a little yesterday when I read I shouldn't take Reactine - hello? allergy season! my sleeping is off, always has been - so prescribed aids is what I have used - and all the info seems so ambiguous. Oh!!! I don't know. I feel overwhelmed, scared, anxious, angry (that he's not here), concerned about losing all that is important to me - my creativity, and the freedom and energy to practice it.
It's normal.
I'm 31 weeks today with a boy.
I got pregnant when my daughter was only 4 months old, and never new I was pregnant till I was 12 weeks.
I didn't get my period for 3 months and I thought it was because I was breastfeeding.
I figured, my mother breastfed all of me n my siblings, and said she hardly EVER got her period while she was breastfeeding. So maybe I was going through it too.
Never had ONE single pregnancy symptom like I did with my first pregnancy. NOTHING.
Then a few days before hubby's mother told me she was buying me a pregnancy test and I was gunna take it just to shut her up, I started with the peeing alot and the hip pains. But I never thought about another pregnancy only because I wasn't even planning on so much as THINKING about getting pregnant again for ATLEAST 4 er 5 more years.
Turns out I was pregnant and I was DEVISTATED.
I had a nervous breakdown because I was still healing mentally from that nightmare of a birth I had with Ivy, hubby n I were having issues, I had my hands full with our daughter, and it's just something I didn't want to add onto my plate.
I'm against abortion and adoption was outta the question.
So looks like I'm having 2 kids, 13 months apart.
Hormones will cause your mood to be out of the norm.
You'll get irritated, angry and stressed out very easily.
You'll get extremely upset over stuff that really seems silly to get stressed and upset about.
Like the past 2 days I've been off n on crying and was just sooooo stressed out because I didn't want my son circumcized because they don't give babies anything prior to the surgery for the pain. And so I wasn't gunna put my son through that. And it's still bother some because hubby's mother is FIGHTING with me about it like she has some sort of say in what *I* do for my son!
But hubby n I already decided we're not gunna do it and unless it becomes and issue when he's a little kid and needs to have it done, we're gunna wait and let him decide if he wants it after he turns 13 years old.
See how silly that is?
It's so simple. It's either a yes or no answer and I got myself all worked up about it. lmao
It gets worse than that for me sometimes.
It's prefectly normal don't stress.
You'll learn to love your growing baby inside you and will miss being pregnant after you have the baby. lol
I'm a MISERABLE pregnant woman and just couldn't wait to have my daughter and now I can't wait to have my son, but after that I felt empty and depressed. And even though I was loving to be able to hold my baby, after 10 months of having something inside you moving around, it's startling to have it so suddenly taken from you.
I'm 31 weeks today with a boy.
I got pregnant when my daughter was only 4 months old, and never new I was pregnant till I was 12 weeks.
I didn't get my period for 3 months and I thought it was because I was breastfeeding.
I figured, my mother breastfed all of me n my siblings, and said she hardly EVER got her period while she was breastfeeding. So maybe I was going through it too.
Never had ONE single pregnancy symptom like I did with my first pregnancy. NOTHING.
Then a few days before hubby's mother told me she was buying me a pregnancy test and I was gunna take it just to shut her up, I started with the peeing alot and the hip pains. But I never thought about another pregnancy only because I wasn't even planning on so much as THINKING about getting pregnant again for ATLEAST 4 er 5 more years.
Turns out I was pregnant and I was DEVISTATED.
I had a nervous breakdown because I was still healing mentally from that nightmare of a birth I had with Ivy, hubby n I were having issues, I had my hands full with our daughter, and it's just something I didn't want to add onto my plate.
I'm against abortion and adoption was outta the question.
So looks like I'm having 2 kids, 13 months apart.
Hormones will cause your mood to be out of the norm.
You'll get irritated, angry and stressed out very easily.
You'll get extremely upset over stuff that really seems silly to get stressed and upset about.
Like the past 2 days I've been off n on crying and was just sooooo stressed out because I didn't want my son circumcized because they don't give babies anything prior to the surgery for the pain. And so I wasn't gunna put my son through that. And it's still bother some because hubby's mother is FIGHTING with me about it like she has some sort of say in what *I* do for my son!
But hubby n I already decided we're not gunna do it and unless it becomes and issue when he's a little kid and needs to have it done, we're gunna wait and let him decide if he wants it after he turns 13 years old.
See how silly that is?
It's so simple. It's either a yes or no answer and I got myself all worked up about it. lmao
It gets worse than that for me sometimes.
It's prefectly normal don't stress.
You'll learn to love your growing baby inside you and will miss being pregnant after you have the baby. lol
I'm a MISERABLE pregnant woman and just couldn't wait to have my daughter and now I can't wait to have my son, but after that I felt empty and depressed. And even though I was loving to be able to hold my baby, after 10 months of having something inside you moving around, it's startling to have it so suddenly taken from you.
It's completely normal. Hormones like to play their dirty little tricks on us, making us elated one minute and totally sad and scared the next. When I found out I was pregnant, (I am 11w5d) I wasn't sure how I felt, even though it was totally planned. I had a m/c a year ago and the fear of losing another one creeps into my mind on a daily, sometimes hourly, basis. What your feeling is normal and I am sure as the days and weeks progress you will be overjoyed with your little bun. :) Try to keep as positive as you can and know that the hormones will level out soon enough.
by the way the day you find out your pregnant your symptoms get worse lol i dont know why but it does the day i found out i started with morning sickness the next day and my body was drained
This is just one of those things that we go through. Hormones can do some weird things to us. It will get better as you get farther along. Hope you feel better hun :)
I felt the same way I have 3 and I got scared with all three did not know what to do its hormones because i was depressed with all three and cried the whole pregnancy and i never get emotional when im not pregnant thats the only time i cry is when im pregnant but when their born it changes i was so excited
hope you feel better, it HAS to be the HORMONES!!!!!! you will be fine one you actually see your babys heartBEAT!!!!
Congrats and I hope you feel better soon! Just stay on the positive side! This is a big change that's all~!
We all have moments of doubt- it WILL pass. ;-)
Once you find out the gender, feel them move, start decorating the nursery and shopping for baby clothes... those ucky moments of regret will flee! So hang in there and focus on the positives.
Once you find out the gender, feel them move, start decorating the nursery and shopping for baby clothes... those ucky moments of regret will flee! So hang in there and focus on the positives.
i felt this EXACT way when i found out...i think i even posted about it. i really wanted to be pregnant and then when the stick turned positive i couldnt stop crying for like 2 hours. i still feel like im gonna go to the doctors and get an u/s and there gonna be like "um, im sorry but ur not pregnant u must be crazy" which i know is ridiculous because im clearly pregnant and i havent had a period for 2 months lol and then im thinking with all the pregnancy symptoms so rough....like ive had morning sickness soooo bad since week 6 i feel like im gonna die half the time and i find myself thinking "is this worth it?" which i know is a horrible thought. and i feel guilty all the time for hating being pregnant. the stress and anxiety really gets to me about the whole situation like i have to keep this little human life safe inside of me? what if i dont do a good job? what if it comes out with no fingers and its all my fault? what if i eat the wrong thing or take the wrong medicine....what if i am really too young and i just ruined my life etc. etc. So i would say that you feeling this way is super normal. pregnancy is just a really stressful thing...its a lot of pressure. but its also the most beautiful thing on earth....we can do this! itll all be worth it in the end when we have them....and we will be great mothers!! something really silly that helps me ...im also worried about keeping the baby safe like somethings gonna hurt it and its just gonna leave so i always subconsiently (sp) have a hand on my belly i feel like as long as my hand is there nothing can get to or hurt the baby...and that the little one can feel my love through my hand. i know its stupid but its what i do....especially when i dont feel good i rub my belly to try and make the baby feel better...which probably doesnt work lol but it makes me feel better. and yes my pregnancy symptoms doubled after i found out! it does for everyone
Hey I totally understand where you are coming from... I am in the process of getting ready for my IUI this month and i keep thing omg what am I doing. I really want another baby badly and it is all just part of the rollercoaster ride. I wish you the best!
I felt the same way with my 4 year old. I wanted her sooo bad, and then it was like, "what have I done? what was I thinking."
It's normal to feel terrified and regret.
Now I'm pregnant again and I dont even want to say "pregnant" out loud. It feels weird. I'm 32 yrs old and I feel like some 15 yr old pregnant teenager. I still havent told many people. I'm happy, iguess. I'm also freaking out.
don't worry. I think we all feel this way.
It's normal to feel terrified and regret.
Now I'm pregnant again and I dont even want to say "pregnant" out loud. It feels weird. I'm 32 yrs old and I feel like some 15 yr old pregnant teenager. I still havent told many people. I'm happy, iguess. I'm also freaking out.
don't worry. I think we all feel this way.
Honey i also mc 7 times in total.i didnt know how to feel this time,do i get excited do i panic,everything.but as time goes by you begin to think,hey im actually gonna have a baby.when you get your scan,im sure you will feel totally different.i like what you said about lying there for 9 months.thats what i wanted to do,but whats meant to be will be.bad symptoms is great i have them eased off now.but i actually said to my doctor im sick 24/7 she said thats fantastic.,yikes what i felt like ****.just means you have a good hormone level.try to relax.and enjoy.congrats...
its ok to feel that way i felt that way with this one i m/c 2 times b4 i was scared it was going to happen again i didnt want to do anything i wanted to stay in like a cocoon until i was due and then maybe the baby might be ok i was so scared of what might or could happen but after a few weeks i started to feel better when you see the heartbeat it does get a a lot easier but the pregnancy thing is very hard cause of everything your going thru plus those raging hormones i hope for the best and wish you an easy pregnancy
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