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OT: Cosleeping
I know cosleeping is a controversial topic for some people, but I need some advice. Right now Lexi is 3w old and we have her sleeping in the bassinet pulled up flush with our bed. It's worked out fine, but over the last week she won't sleep for longer than an hour unless she's in the bed beside me or DH. She'll lay in her bassinet and cry and not go to sleep unless she's held or laying next to one of us. I'm afraid of putting her in the bed with us, but I don't want her to cry and not get rested either. Even if I get her to sleep then put her in her bed, she'll wake up within 30min. What do I do?
I also swore I would never do it, but our first night from the hospital she wouldn't sleep in her cradle and ended up falling asleep in my arms. We tried her bassinet and she would do it, but woke constantly and when DH was gone I would just pull her into bed with me. He was even more against it than I was, but ended up saying he preferred her in bed with us. He's a very heavy sleeper and tosses and turns constantly, so she just sleeps on my arm in the middle of us.
I prefer it just because it's also in-tune to how I(we) parent. She lived in me for 9 months and suddently gets thrust out of this warm, safe place and is expected to sleep alone on a cold bed away from familiarity. I do agree though, this doesn't work for everyone and each family will do their own thing.
I prefer it just because it's also in-tune to how I(we) parent. She lived in me for 9 months and suddently gets thrust out of this warm, safe place and is expected to sleep alone on a cold bed away from familiarity. I do agree though, this doesn't work for everyone and each family will do their own thing.
Before my first child, I swore I would never co-sleep either. In fact, the first time I fell asleep holding her in my arms I woke up crying and hating myself because I was afraid of the risks...she slept on her own for about the first month....but then I began to change as my nurturing instinct kicked in and I began to do some research, and after talking to her pediatrician I decided to let our daughter co-sleep with us. You just never know, because I swore up and down it was unsafe...but then, I had never done research on it before that either.
Nicole: when is your next appointment? Very often babies seem to be spitting up a whole lot more than they are. I also want to say...you can show your husband some of the links above about the safety of co-sleeping, if you WANT to co-sleep. if you don't, if you have any reservations about the safety....do what feels right to you. you don't want to be waking up in a panic every 15 minutes afraid something is going to happen, so if you're just not someone who can co-sleep then that's absolutely fine. But if it is something you're interested in for your family, those links above should provide some info for your husband. Good luck with your choice...and like I said, very often babies spit up looks like way more than it really is...my daughter was like that. she was constantly spitting up and it looked like a TON...but she didn't have reflux. it was very frustrating. That's part of why we let her sleep with us; she was spitting up so much she was choking herself at night and I would hear her gasping and put her on my arm and she would sleep the rest of th enight through without spitting up or choking...and the rare occasion that she DID spit up in bed, she would spit iup on ME and wake me up so we were able tod eal with it immediately.
Nicole: when is your next appointment? Very often babies seem to be spitting up a whole lot more than they are. I also want to say...you can show your husband some of the links above about the safety of co-sleeping, if you WANT to co-sleep. if you don't, if you have any reservations about the safety....do what feels right to you. you don't want to be waking up in a panic every 15 minutes afraid something is going to happen, so if you're just not someone who can co-sleep then that's absolutely fine. But if it is something you're interested in for your family, those links above should provide some info for your husband. Good luck with your choice...and like I said, very often babies spit up looks like way more than it really is...my daughter was like that. she was constantly spitting up and it looked like a TON...but she didn't have reflux. it was very frustrating. That's part of why we let her sleep with us; she was spitting up so much she was choking herself at night and I would hear her gasping and put her on my arm and she would sleep the rest of th enight through without spitting up or choking...and the rare occasion that she DID spit up in bed, she would spit iup on ME and wake me up so we were able tod eal with it immediately.
I definitely wasn't trying to start any kind of debates or anything. lol. I just want to do what's best and most comfortable for Lexi. I do swaddle her, but she gets mad and pulls her arms out. DH is against cosleeping because he doesn't want the baby to be in the bed with us when she's 6yrs old, and I can understand that. And also because he's a heavy sleeper and feels that it wouldn't be safe in case he was to roll over on her by accident. A few times I've been so tired after giving her her bottle at night that I've accidentally fallen asleep with her in my arms. I've had pillows under my arms so that I won't drop her or anything. I'm just paranoid about how safe it is. She seems to like it better because almost as soon as she's finished with her bottle she's back asleep for 2-3 hours. other times when I hold her and she gets fussy I know she needs her space and putting her down soothes her because she just wants to be left alone. But more often then not she prefers to be held until she's fallen into a good sleep.
But as far as her swing goes it's the little lamb cradle n swing from babies r us. She seems to enjoy even just sitting in it because it's reclined back, but she's still somewhat sitting at a 45 degree angle, and I suppose it soothes her tummy. I keep her sitting up after a feeding for her reflux anyways, and sometimes she still manages to spit most of her bottle up...even after being burped and everything. I just don't know what I can do to make the reflux go away, the ped said it's nothing to worry about, but it just seems like a lot is coming up sometimes.
But as far as her swing goes it's the little lamb cradle n swing from babies r us. She seems to enjoy even just sitting in it because it's reclined back, but she's still somewhat sitting at a 45 degree angle, and I suppose it soothes her tummy. I keep her sitting up after a feeding for her reflux anyways, and sometimes she still manages to spit most of her bottle up...even after being burped and everything. I just don't know what I can do to make the reflux go away, the ped said it's nothing to worry about, but it just seems like a lot is coming up sometimes.
I think you should only do what you are comfortable with. People will always have their reasons for why they like or don't like co-sleeping. There are "studies" on both sides, and pros and cons to both. Personally, I will not co-sleep because I would be too afraid that the baby might get rolled over on or hit when either of us move at night. I just find it safer and also want to have that independence. If your husband is a deep sleeper and moves a lot, it might be best that you don't co-sleep. You just have to do what will work best for you and your family.
LOL Joy that's one thing I forgot to mention when someone asked about intimacy - my husband and I are intimate just about every night - we have a special spot in the house well away from all kids....it makes it kinda sneaky and fun. We would do that even if we weren't co-sleepers...makes it spicy LOL
In case my link gets removed I copied and pasted a blurp from my blog. Quotations are not ME but me quoting someone else:
Some doctors speculate that SIDS is caused by a breathing problem with baby. Dr Sears hypothesizes, "I believe that in most cases SIDS is a sleep disorder, primarily a disorder of arousal and breathing control during sleep. All the elements of natural mothering, especially breastfeeding and sharing sleep, benefit the infant's breathing control and increase the mutual awareness between mother and infant so that their arousability is increased and the risk of SIDS decreased."
So wow! Everything I was instinctively thinking has been affirmed by other mothers and even by professionals through actual study. They liken a mother to being a live pacemaker for the baby. Remember, in the womb the baby is given oxygen through the umbilical cord and breathing is new for them once they are born.
This sums up what I'm trying to say perfectly:
"By six months, the baby's cardiopulmonary regulating system has matured enough that the breathing centers in the brain are better able to restart breathing, even in deep sleep. But there is a vulnerable period between one and six months when the sleep is deepening, yet the compensatory mechanisms are not yet mature. During the time baby is at risk, mother fills in. In fact, mother sleeps like a baby until the baby is mature enough to sleep like an adult. That warm body next to baby acts as a breathing pacemaker, sort of reminding baby to breathe, until the baby's self-start mechanisms can handle the job on their own."
We must also realize that pushing independence on our babies before they are ready (such as sleeping on their own, self-soothing and sleeping through the night) is a Western notion. For centuries bed-sharing is how babies have been raised. I know it seems kind of hippie-ish or earthy but the truth is that God has hard-wired us as mothers to help nurture and soothe our babies, most of them time without even thinking about how or why we're doing something.
Some doctors speculate that SIDS is caused by a breathing problem with baby. Dr Sears hypothesizes, "I believe that in most cases SIDS is a sleep disorder, primarily a disorder of arousal and breathing control during sleep. All the elements of natural mothering, especially breastfeeding and sharing sleep, benefit the infant's breathing control and increase the mutual awareness between mother and infant so that their arousability is increased and the risk of SIDS decreased."
So wow! Everything I was instinctively thinking has been affirmed by other mothers and even by professionals through actual study. They liken a mother to being a live pacemaker for the baby. Remember, in the womb the baby is given oxygen through the umbilical cord and breathing is new for them once they are born.
This sums up what I'm trying to say perfectly:
"By six months, the baby's cardiopulmonary regulating system has matured enough that the breathing centers in the brain are better able to restart breathing, even in deep sleep. But there is a vulnerable period between one and six months when the sleep is deepening, yet the compensatory mechanisms are not yet mature. During the time baby is at risk, mother fills in. In fact, mother sleeps like a baby until the baby is mature enough to sleep like an adult. That warm body next to baby acts as a breathing pacemaker, sort of reminding baby to breathe, until the baby's self-start mechanisms can handle the job on their own."
We must also realize that pushing independence on our babies before they are ready (such as sleeping on their own, self-soothing and sleeping through the night) is a Western notion. For centuries bed-sharing is how babies have been raised. I know it seems kind of hippie-ish or earthy but the truth is that God has hard-wired us as mothers to help nurture and soothe our babies, most of them time without even thinking about how or why we're doing something.
http://thebabybond.com/Cosleeping&SIDSFactSheet.html
http://www.breastfeeding.com/reading_room/co_slepping.html
the second one is kinda harsh and I don't exactly agree with the author's approach to explaining things (rude) but it explains what I was trying to say about breathing and heart regulation.
The numbers really do speak for themselves, IMO. while yes there are deaths...they are so few and far between in the grand scheme of things. Anyway, I just wanted to include those two sites for some statistics and info for anyone weighing both sides, since we've already had statistics shared from the other side.
http://www.breastfeeding.com/reading_room/co_slepping.html
the second one is kinda harsh and I don't exactly agree with the author's approach to explaining things (rude) but it explains what I was trying to say about breathing and heart regulation.
The numbers really do speak for themselves, IMO. while yes there are deaths...they are so few and far between in the grand scheme of things. Anyway, I just wanted to include those two sites for some statistics and info for anyone weighing both sides, since we've already had statistics shared from the other side.
SIDS is an unexplained death of an infant. If a cosleeping parent accidentally suffocates their infant that is not SIDS but suffocation. So it does not increase the risk of SIDS; in fact studies show the opposite. Cosleeping decreases the risks of SIDS. You can't just assume something; you must do the research.
Anyway as far as my own opinion I am extremely PRO-cosleeping. My firstborn and my newest addition slept in bed with me until they weaned to their own cribs before their first birthdays. My second daughter never wanted to be held; she was very content to put herself to bed and wanted her space to sleep. I think you need to listen to you baby's cues. You cannot spoil them at this age and it will increase your bond between you and your baby. ONLY in the USA do we push our children away and refuse co-dependency.
I wrote a post about cosleeping and am being quoted in a new cosleeping book that should be hitting bookstores soon.
Here is my post on my blog about my personal research and experiences:
http://whendoesdaddycomehome2.blogspot.com/2009/12/co-sleepingbed-sharing.html
All you can do is the research. Those who are anti-cosleeping haven't done all the research and are only assuming things about it. There are SO many benefits to cosleeping and suffocation caused by cosleeping is very rare (and usually caused by an intoxicated parent or by inappropriate sleeping arrangements such as too many blankets, pillows, etc.).
You can do it and you can do it right. I slept way better when baby was in bed with me than when she wasn't. Sometimes I still wake up and pat the bed next to me to check for her but she's in her own room now.
Intimacy- someone asked about intimacy. Believe me, you're too tired for sex. BUT in the rare moment you feel a little sexy put the baby in the bassinet or the bouncer or find an empty room in the house to get it on. If you want it you'll find ways to get it. ;-)
Anyway as far as my own opinion I am extremely PRO-cosleeping. My firstborn and my newest addition slept in bed with me until they weaned to their own cribs before their first birthdays. My second daughter never wanted to be held; she was very content to put herself to bed and wanted her space to sleep. I think you need to listen to you baby's cues. You cannot spoil them at this age and it will increase your bond between you and your baby. ONLY in the USA do we push our children away and refuse co-dependency.
I wrote a post about cosleeping and am being quoted in a new cosleeping book that should be hitting bookstores soon.
Here is my post on my blog about my personal research and experiences:
http://whendoesdaddycomehome2.blogspot.com/2009/12/co-sleepingbed-sharing.html
All you can do is the research. Those who are anti-cosleeping haven't done all the research and are only assuming things about it. There are SO many benefits to cosleeping and suffocation caused by cosleeping is very rare (and usually caused by an intoxicated parent or by inappropriate sleeping arrangements such as too many blankets, pillows, etc.).
You can do it and you can do it right. I slept way better when baby was in bed with me than when she wasn't. Sometimes I still wake up and pat the bed next to me to check for her but she's in her own room now.
Intimacy- someone asked about intimacy. Believe me, you're too tired for sex. BUT in the rare moment you feel a little sexy put the baby in the bassinet or the bouncer or find an empty room in the house to get it on. If you want it you'll find ways to get it. ;-)
well the experts classify a lot of infant deaths under the category of SIDS. if a baby dies because it was in a crib with blankets, its still going to be classified as SIDS.
and anyways thats only 221 deaths out of the 500 something that were explained.. so 300 something were never explained but the infants died in bed with their parents.
and anyways thats only 221 deaths out of the 500 something that were explained.. so 300 something were never explained but the infants died in bed with their parents.
Suffocation is not SIDS and is not an unexplained death.
Something funny we do...we have a walk in closet in our bedroom. Our walk in closet has a blanket, candles and pillow stashed away. We meet in our "love den" and make it fun :) It has worked for over 3 years now :)
Something funny we do...we have a walk in closet in our bedroom. Our walk in closet has a blanket, candles and pillow stashed away. We meet in our "love den" and make it fun :) It has worked for over 3 years now :)
I agree that SIDS to me (and also how it has been explained to me) is an unexplained death of an otherwise healthy infant. Suffocation is clearly a cause. If SIDS is going to happen, I think it will happen regardless. Plenty of children have died alone safely in a crib, so for me it's just a matter of what is prefered. I tried a crib once and she woke up screaming in terror, so this is what works for our family.
Well, I don't consider SIDS as a suffocation death. I consider SIDS as being an undetermined death by infants. Suffocation is, indeed, a determined death. So to me, if a baby dies of suffocation, even by accident, it is not SIDS. It's suffocation. I feel the same way about strangulation by accident. I suppose if the "experts" want to put it under the "SIDS" category, I surely can't stop them, but that is not the same thing to me.
If you are someone with only one child and you stay home with that child, you very well may be able to sleep when your baby sleeps during the day/night. But if you have other children to take care of, you may only have a small block of time to sleep at night. You have other children to care for during the day. So you have to do what you feel you have to do to get some sleep just to be able to function. We are not machines after all. We're human beings.
There are always going to be studies on both sides of the fence for any given topic. At the end of the day, one has to do what they feel is best for their baby/them/their family.
If you are someone with only one child and you stay home with that child, you very well may be able to sleep when your baby sleeps during the day/night. But if you have other children to take care of, you may only have a small block of time to sleep at night. You have other children to care for during the day. So you have to do what you feel you have to do to get some sleep just to be able to function. We are not machines after all. We're human beings.
There are always going to be studies on both sides of the fence for any given topic. At the end of the day, one has to do what they feel is best for their baby/them/their family.
Many couples sneak out of bed in the night to have sexy time elsewhere in the house when the co sleep.
Oh, and if it weren't for my hubby putting the pressure on me to get him in his crib, I would have no problem continuing with co sleeping but since we have an 8 day trip to Hawaii in just 7 weeks he and I feel it will be less traumatic to have him comfortable with sleeping on his own in his crib. I firmly believe that babies and toddlers will let you know on their own when they are ready to wean from it and it makes it much less traumatic.
I cosleep and wouldn't have it any other way. My babies and I are so in synch. I'm a light sleeper though, and both my husband and I do not move much at night. My youngest child of 6 is almost 14 months and just getting transitioned to his crib after never sleeping in it even once the whole first 13 months of his life. It makes nursing so much easier and I think its so much more natural than having baby alone at such a young, tender age. That human skin contact, warmth and breathing synchronization is so important IMO. I have LOVED having my babies so close at night. It's such a special bond for us. I miss them deeply when I do start putting them in their crib. It is a very personal decision though. You know your sleeping habits. It has just worked very well for our family. Good luck!
I co-sleep some but mostly Kealynn is in her bassinet. She's now 4 months old. Mostly co-sleep for naps when dads not in the bed with us.
I don't discuss this with anyone because the few times that this has been brought up I have gotten negative remarks from family and it's really none of there business how I take care of my child. As long as she is healthy and happy.
Kaelynn will sleep good in her bassinet as long as she is swaddled tightly. If she's not swaddled she will wake up the second you put her down.
I don't discuss this with anyone because the few times that this has been brought up I have gotten negative remarks from family and it's really none of there business how I take care of my child. As long as she is healthy and happy.
Kaelynn will sleep good in her bassinet as long as she is swaddled tightly. If she's not swaddled she will wake up the second you put her down.
I still co-sleep with my 8month old and really glad I did it. Baby sleeps well and I sleep well as I don't have to get out of bed if he needs me at night as I don't feel letting him cry.
In the begining I started it as it was difficult for me to get out of bed because of episiotomy to take the baby when he was about a week old.
I won't lie it was bit scary in the bigining with all the taboo attached to it.. but after a little while both DH and I became comfortable with it.
As long as both you and baby gets to have some sleep; go with whatever you feel comfortable doing.
In the begining I started it as it was difficult for me to get out of bed because of episiotomy to take the baby when he was about a week old.
I won't lie it was bit scary in the bigining with all the taboo attached to it.. but after a little while both DH and I became comfortable with it.
As long as both you and baby gets to have some sleep; go with whatever you feel comfortable doing.
Oh, and when I said safe in the other room-------- that was not to say he was unsafe in mine. Just that I knew he was okay and found my ability to get the sleep I needed with him breathing (boy babies breath loud!) next door verses in my ear.
Don't post here often but found myself drawn to this question. It is interesting. Many other countries have co sleeping as the cultural norm. As in it is never even a question and it would be unusual not to.
It is a very personal choice and I chose not to. I had my newborn son on the first night he was home from the hospital in a little bassinet right beside me. I laid staring at the ceiling waiting to not hear his loud breathing. Waiting . . . waiting . . . and waiting. I moved him out to the hall outside our door after some time and was able to sleep. I was such a tired new mom-------- I realized that my light sleeping would result in my being awake all night with my little one and that would not be good for either of us. He was sleeping in his own room the next night. I probably would have gotten use to it as I remember a similar experience the first night with my husband . . . and I did get used to him and can now sleep through the night . . . sort of. But as I was so desperate for sleep, it was important for me to get it and baby was safe ------- so it was the right decision for me.
I do think that when a family chooses to co sleep that a couple must be really careful to protect their closeness that comes from intimate time together . . . just them. I do think that a couple must be separate from their kids at times to be partners and stay connected as adults verses parents. Most couples work that out though.
But I did want to note that if you look at cultures around the world, in many other places besides the Western world, co sleeping would not be questioned at all.
Luck to all and happy sleeping-------- however you do it!
It is a very personal choice and I chose not to. I had my newborn son on the first night he was home from the hospital in a little bassinet right beside me. I laid staring at the ceiling waiting to not hear his loud breathing. Waiting . . . waiting . . . and waiting. I moved him out to the hall outside our door after some time and was able to sleep. I was such a tired new mom-------- I realized that my light sleeping would result in my being awake all night with my little one and that would not be good for either of us. He was sleeping in his own room the next night. I probably would have gotten use to it as I remember a similar experience the first night with my husband . . . and I did get used to him and can now sleep through the night . . . sort of. But as I was so desperate for sleep, it was important for me to get it and baby was safe ------- so it was the right decision for me.
I do think that when a family chooses to co sleep that a couple must be really careful to protect their closeness that comes from intimate time together . . . just them. I do think that a couple must be separate from their kids at times to be partners and stay connected as adults verses parents. Most couples work that out though.
But I did want to note that if you look at cultures around the world, in many other places besides the Western world, co sleeping would not be questioned at all.
Luck to all and happy sleeping-------- however you do it!
according to the CPSC, 515 deaths from babies under the age of 2 died from co-sleeping from jan 1990 to december 1997... 121 of those deaths were from the co-sleeper rolling over onto or against the baby.
if that isn't bad enough, more than 100 deaths between jan 1999 and dec 2001 were from "hidden hazards" that caused the baby to become suffocated or strangled in the bed.
thats enough evidence for me.
if that isn't bad enough, more than 100 deaths between jan 1999 and dec 2001 were from "hidden hazards" that caused the baby to become suffocated or strangled in the bed.
thats enough evidence for me.
I had my son sleeping with me for the first 2 weeks only, just because i was so in love with him and didnt want to put him down. then I had to be reminded of how unsafe it was. So I quit, my son is almsot 8 months old now, and wont sleep anywhere but his crib, he stayed at his grandmas one night and was up every hour they said. given i have to rock him to sleep right now cause hes cutting a tooth. but if i lay him in my bed for a nap, he will jsut play or cry. but if I lay him in his crib in his own room, and shut the door he goes to sleep on his own without a peep, other then now since hes cutting a tooth..
I dont think its safe, and honestly I dont believe it is okay.. my niece is still sleeping my sister and she is almost 3. my sister regrets it now. she gets no alone time with her boyfriend. and my niece WILL NOT sleep anywhere else... how are you introducing independance to your children? remember my opinion only.. no need for arguements.. everyon has there easons to do and to not do it.. to each there own!
I dont think its safe, and honestly I dont believe it is okay.. my niece is still sleeping my sister and she is almost 3. my sister regrets it now. she gets no alone time with her boyfriend. and my niece WILL NOT sleep anywhere else... how are you introducing independance to your children? remember my opinion only.. no need for arguements.. everyon has there easons to do and to not do it.. to each there own!
"if its done safely" ... meaning a bed attached to the bed of the parents that prevents them from rolling onto the baby...like i said.
its not that i think its unsafe because i don't do it. its considered unsafe and this isn't just my opinion.
its not that i think its unsafe because i don't do it. its considered unsafe and this isn't just my opinion.
honestly my answer will be somewhat controversial, but i do not mean to offend anyone.
i completely disagree that co-sleeping does not increase the risk of SIDS... i spoke with a pediatrician one time about SIDS, and she told me she saw more of it with teenage mothers and babies living in poverty that shared beds with other children or didn't sleep on their backs without blankets, stuffed animals, etc..sharing the bed with another kid is the same as sharing a bed with an adult.
when ariana was very little (around 3/4 weeks) she would wake up to eat at about 5 am. i would lay her on the boppy pillow and feed her and then fall asleep with her on the pillow in our bed. i quickly stopped doing this, because a couple of times i woke up with the covers over her mouth & nose. it scared the S H I T outta me. i thought she might have been dead. she COULD have been dead. she could have breathed too much carbon dioxide and suffered from SIDS. it was very irresponsibile of me, i think. i NEVER EVER sleep with her in our bed anymore.
whether or not there are studies about co-sleeping being beneficial or what not, there are also numerous, COUNTLESS, stories of people rolling over & killing their baby. just the other day i heard of a baby that DIED on it's father's CHEST from breathing HIS carbon dioxide.
i also disagree that it stresses the baby out. my daughter has slept in her crib from day one at home. (with the only exception being those 3 hours in our bed for a week/two)... and to this day, she PREFERS to sleep in her crib. theres been a few times where i have tried to get her to take a nap other places around the house, and she cries until i put her in her crib, and then she's out. she's only 7 months old, but she already knows its her bed and she prefers her bed. i do not think that would be the case if it "stressed" babies out to be in their own beds.
the american academy of pediatrics HIGHLY recommends that babies sleep in a safe crib, on their backs, with NO stuffed animals or blankets. and if you DO decide to co-sleep, get a co-sleeper that is designed to keep the parents from rolling over on the baby. i dont think the academy is anything to argue with, they know their stuff.
i dont think you should put your baby in the bed with you. try getting a co-sleeper that attaches to the side of your bed, but please, don't put your baby in the bed. its just not safe.
i completely disagree that co-sleeping does not increase the risk of SIDS... i spoke with a pediatrician one time about SIDS, and she told me she saw more of it with teenage mothers and babies living in poverty that shared beds with other children or didn't sleep on their backs without blankets, stuffed animals, etc..sharing the bed with another kid is the same as sharing a bed with an adult.
when ariana was very little (around 3/4 weeks) she would wake up to eat at about 5 am. i would lay her on the boppy pillow and feed her and then fall asleep with her on the pillow in our bed. i quickly stopped doing this, because a couple of times i woke up with the covers over her mouth & nose. it scared the S H I T outta me. i thought she might have been dead. she COULD have been dead. she could have breathed too much carbon dioxide and suffered from SIDS. it was very irresponsibile of me, i think. i NEVER EVER sleep with her in our bed anymore.
whether or not there are studies about co-sleeping being beneficial or what not, there are also numerous, COUNTLESS, stories of people rolling over & killing their baby. just the other day i heard of a baby that DIED on it's father's CHEST from breathing HIS carbon dioxide.
i also disagree that it stresses the baby out. my daughter has slept in her crib from day one at home. (with the only exception being those 3 hours in our bed for a week/two)... and to this day, she PREFERS to sleep in her crib. theres been a few times where i have tried to get her to take a nap other places around the house, and she cries until i put her in her crib, and then she's out. she's only 7 months old, but she already knows its her bed and she prefers her bed. i do not think that would be the case if it "stressed" babies out to be in their own beds.
the american academy of pediatrics HIGHLY recommends that babies sleep in a safe crib, on their backs, with NO stuffed animals or blankets. and if you DO decide to co-sleep, get a co-sleeper that is designed to keep the parents from rolling over on the baby. i dont think the academy is anything to argue with, they know their stuff.
i dont think you should put your baby in the bed with you. try getting a co-sleeper that attaches to the side of your bed, but please, don't put your baby in the bed. its just not safe.
I also co-slept with my kids. I used the arms reach mini co-sleeper for the first few months(LOVED it a godsend!), its like a basinet but is the same level as your mattress and is open.(look it up, my explanation is not so great lol) I also put a sleep positioner in there and used a swaddling blanket(I never could swaddle right with a regular blanket) Then when they got older they transitioned into my bed(yea me, lol) They are now 6 and 8 and have finally moved on to there beds. Hubby was fine with it and as far as intimacy, we made time whenever we could. Good luck.
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