OT-schedules

[Clysta]

I've been wondering, how important is it for an infant to have a schedule. Like for feeding, sleeping, etc.

[Ladybugbc]

I have a 8month old son and regarding his schedules.. I pretty much follow his cues through out the day.
Which currently goes..
wake up around 7-8 am
breakfast around 8.30-9 am
lunch around 12.30-1
dinner around 5.30-6pm
and bed time around 7-8pm

All I do is to make sure he gets at least 3 naps and 3 meals with at least 1 snack during the day and the times vary.

And I still am still breast feeding on demand and he loves it. I will continue to breast feed on demand until I return to work when he's 12months and then of course breast feeding will only be done on a schedule.

I 100% agree with Ashlen that babies don't get much of a say in many things.. so I believe in letting him decide when he wants to eat, sleep etc..until he gets a little older.

[HeatherLF16]

I have a schedule for my baby who is 5 months old, but I am very flexible and read his cues if he needs something.  

He gets a bath around 7pm everynight, about a half hour before I wind him down in his crib while I clean up his room.  He listens to his music... then it's the bath at 7pm followed by a bottle.  This put him out everytime so he is usually to bed by 8pm. I a firm believer that sticking to this is what has helped him sleep anywhere from 9-11 hours strait at night.  He does wake up sometimes during the night like last night he woke up at 4am (his dad fell asleep on the couch and came upstairs I think it woke him).  By that point he had already been to sleep 8 hours, so he was hungry.  I changed and fed him and he was right back to sleep until 7am.  

Feeding... now that he is eating solids I have that on a schedule for his three meals per day.  They are usually followed by a bottle of 4 ozs.  But, his bottles throughout the day vary and so do his naps.  If he is fussy/tired he will just falls asleep on me when I rock him for a bit or bounce him for a bit to calm him down.  I do notice this usually happens late morning, but if I try to put him in his crib he will just scream and get too worked up to sleep (I have tried and wish he would nap in his crib).  So, I just let him rest with me.  Feeding with the bottles I do the same.  If he is not tired and fussing and I have done everything else I will make him a bottle.  Meals are at 7:30am...noon.... and around 5pm.  

[30something13]

I was a schedule person with my other 4 and it worked for them, I never thought twice about it. I did feed on demand and changed a bit here and there if they did though. "I thought" babies that do not have schedules don't learn to sleep good! Not so at all. Henry hass his own schedule and he sleeps good well at night. He has not taken good naps but that seems to have changed the older he gets. It is really just important that you both are making life work with baby! Like you getting sleep at night knowing she will get up at such a time:) Just saying cuz we all have talked about not going to sleep until way after baby does then we don't get much sleep. LOL

But yeah you are right on it, you need to trust yoruself more! You are doing fine!

A little story here, this guy my DH used to work with has two boys that are not school age yet, well dad works third so mom and boys stay up all night then sleep in the day! Now she will have lots of problems when school starts and has when it is time for check ups as dr's are not open during the night! We don't even have stores here open at night for food! So I say she has some very cranky boys when time comes to have to be up in the day! I saw them once and they were passed out!LOL well thought I would share that funny story:)

[ammanda]

Along with Tiredbuthappy, i followed my baby and let him make his own schedule by what he did consistantly for a couple weeks, now he has a complete strict schedule. he is almost 8 months old..  this is his schedule.

wake up between 8am and 9am.
eat breakfast between 9am and 9:15 am
Play time
Lunch at 12pm
Nap from 12:30 till 2ish
Snack at 3pm
Nap at 4pm till 6pm
6pm-6:15pm dinner
Play time
Bedtime food at 9pm
Bed

He sleeps for 10 or 11 hours every night..  he eats at 9 am every morning, even if he wakes up before that, he has no problem playing till then.  He eats every 3 hours and trust me, he knows when its time to eat.. He has been on this exact schedule for over 3 months now.. I know it will change since babies are always changing, but I'm ready for it when ever it happens.  especially since he is getting older now, and they will sleep less now, and eat more .  

This has really worked for us, its our preference, but not everyone has a schedule, my sister laughs at me all the time for having a strict schedule, cause she never did with my niece, she fed her let her sleep whenever she felt neccasary.  and i watched it, and I honestly thought it was a mess lol.. Im so thankful for the schedule we have had, cause even as a normal person and not a mother, I am a very big control freak, and I like to be organized, and I like to know when i can do things.  

THe schedule also really makes it easy for when its time to go places, we can go around his nap and eating time,

But like I said, you cant force it on them, ust follow there every move for a bit and then you will see that they can normally make there own schedule that you can pick up on.

[tiredbuthappy]

I followed my babies' cues, and found that they eventually put themselves on somewhat of a schedule after a few months. Of course, for the first 3 or 4 months, everything was entirely based on their random needs, as a newborn's needs change so frequently. However, by 6 months a recognizable routine started to emerge. As these noticable patterns emerged, I made a mental note and kind of made that in to a routine. I forget how old your baby is, but chances are that within a few months, you will see sleep patterns and feeding patterns emerge on their own.
I agree with Ashelen about being in tune to your baby. I always assumed everyone was, but my LC commented on how well I knew and read my babies and that many moms don't read their baby's cues well. I think part of the difference lies in parenting styles and goals. Some moms prioritize making the baby fit into an established routine. Others prioritize following the baby's cues and responding to the baby's needs as they emerge. Which way is better will be debated as long as there are women having babies.

To give you some comfort, know that there is no connection between your lack of schedule and your methods when the baby is a newborn, and how independent and disciplined your child will be when she is older. I responded to my kid's every need, regardless of time, when they were newborns. Both girls are very strong and independent. I also have high expectations for behavior from my children. We cannot go out to eat without someone commenting on how well behaved they are. They sit with the family for every meal. My nanny is amazed and has the easiest job in the world. She says it's time to eat, and they go to the table. She says it's time for nap, and they run up the stairs to their room. Children definitely need boundaries and structure, but responding to their needs as babies builds an important relationship of trust.

I also want to note, going back to following the baby's cues, that it is also very important to look for the cues to learn when it is time to stop responding to certain needs. I just knew when it was time to put them in their own room (around 8 months for my kids, without any problems). I knew when it was OK to stop responding to every cry in the night. I knew when it was time to let them start feeding themselves. I very often see what happens when parents miss these cues. The end result is a 4 year old who cannot feed himself (physically unable, until we taught him) or another who refused to feed himself because his parents cater to his every need. I do see plenty of children who definitely control their parents, their bedtimes, etc... These children have a lot of trouble adjusting to life outside of their kingdom when they get to school.  

[Clysta]

Thanks. I think sleep will be number one for me as well. We just have such an unstructured life. At least we have time to work on it. Thanks for the advice. :) I'll just need to learn to trust myself a little bit more.

[Ashelen]

Well certainly when she starts to get older and be more aware of action/consequence (sometime between her 1st and 2nd birthday) you WILL need to introduce structure and sadly that means structuring your own life. It is vital for a toddler's development that they learn when they can expect things; it helps create a sense of security and reliability for their lives.

When they are little...yes, it's OK to let them call the shots when it comes to their schedule. It doesn't cause any harm as long as it's not interfering with your life, and it can make the baby feel confident and secure. However, as they age and their needs (socially and developmentally) begin to change it's time to add structure.

you'll know, Clysta. you'll know when she begins to transition into the age where a schedule becomes important. you're very in tune with her and you'll know when it's time to buckle down and get serious about when things should be done. And there are certain things that are important to structure (bedtime being #1 to me) and certain things you can just sorta let slide or fudge a bit...you'll also discover these, WITH Kylie, as the time passes.

have faith in yourself...you'll know what to do, don't ever doubt it.

[Clysta]

Lol. I've just heard people say structure is important in an infants life and she doesn't really have any. I also don't know how to treat her. Like I am a bad influence and there's days I've been up till 5am and wake up at 1pm and others where I wake up at 7am. She seems to follow whatever pattern I'm on for that particular day. Should I be doing that? Or is it fine to feed her and let her sleep on demand.  I just don't want it to mess her up as she gets older, but I don't want to dominate her life. (I know I despised going to bed or eating when I didn't want to)

[mom2ariana]

i will say this-- i do think my daughter needs a certain amount of sleep and im strict about that. but thats about it. as long as your baby gets enough sleep and enough nutrition in ounces (whether it be breastmilk or formula) then you are doing just fine.

[mom2ariana]

i see no reason to change it if it works for you-- im not the type of person that thinks babies just NEED a schedule. i have one merely out of preference and convenience to me.
if you are about to have a big change such as for example, your maternity leave is up or you are expecting another baby then it might be time to get on a schedule, but if it works for now then theres nothing wrong with not having one. :)

[Ashelen]

That's what I did with my daughter when she was littler and what I do with my son...if it works for you, I think it's just fine...but obviously I'm biased lol.

[Clysta]

Well I ask because we have little to none at my house. The only consistent thing is she normally goes to bed around 11-1 at night and naps from 1-3pm and I don't know if I should even bother with one. More or less I follow her cues and go from there.

[mom2ariana]

this is gonna vary depending on who you ask.. i have a stricter schedule with my daughters sleeping as i do her feeding. if you read my recent thread you'll know... lol :)

what i tend to do is this: she wakes up at 11 am or after. i feed her shortly after shes out of bed. but no matter what time she wakes up in the morning, she always eats at 7pm. if she wakes up at 1pm (happens sometimes) and eats again at 5, ill only feed her half of what she would normally eat so that she will be hungry again at 7. and then she eats again at 11 pm and goes to bed.
the reason im so strict about the 7 thing is because her waking up & eating breakfast times vary. i dont ever get her up before 11 (unless we have something to do, in which case she goes to bed earlier the night before) but sometimes she'll wake up at 12pm or 1pm and that can throw her off. if she eats a bottle any later than 7pm she wont eat all of her 11pm bottle and she wont sleep as well that night. likewise if she eats a full bottle at 5 pm she wont want another full bottle until 9pm and then definitely wont eat her full bottle at 11pm. and half a feeding at 11pm isn't enough to sleep 11/12 hours on.

that was probably super confusing. but moral of my story is i center her entire feeding schedule around her sleeping schedule. i make sure she has about 11 1/2 hours in bed. if you read my recent thread about raising kids & living with your parents, you'll get a better idea of why im strict about that, but basically that seems to be what she needs to be happy during the day.

some people will say that feeding on demand and sleeping on demand is better. it just depends on the parent. and for some babies that might be better. this is just what works for me and ariana. :)

[Ashelen]

that depends on your school of thought. I didn't introduce a schedule for my daughter until probably around 15 months...and then we started with a sleep schedule and began setting her eating schedule based on the hours she was sleeping. Now she goes to bed at 8 and wakes up on her own no earlier than 9...usually no later than 10, but I don't really care as long as she's not sleeping until like 11 because then she's up all night LOL. We always eat a late breakfast, skip morning snack, have lunch between 1230-130...snack time between 430-530...and then dinner between 630-730.

I'm very flexible with my schedules. Grey sets his own. He generally puts himself to sleep for the night around 9/930 and wakes up whenever I wake his lazy butt up in the morning...he eats when he's hungry...naps when he's tired....I like to let them have a little control over their lives at a young age because, let's face it, they don't get much lol. they have to wait for toys to be brought, food to be given to them, diapers to be changed...letting them set their own times when they're little (less than a year) gives them a feeling of control and accomplishment..."i wanted to eat...and mommy let me eat..yay!"

remember to think basic. they're still very instinctual at this young age.

schedule= important. being flexible = way mo' important :-).

it all depends on your life too. if you have a LOT of things going on in your life, a schedule is going to help you. if you're like I was when I had only Kahlan...she could pretty much do whatever and it never got in the way of my life so I never really harped on a schedule until her brother was on the way. it's important for older babies and toddlers to have a schedule but until then..it's really your call, and your parenting style.

sorry for the novel lol