[OT]:Stop telling me I'm too young!!!!!!

[itcouldhappen]

I'm about to rant ramble and scream!!!! Okay, if you didnt know I'm 20 years old.. AND, I'm TTC. If I'm not hurting you, then leave me ALONE about my age!!! Heres what happened. I was telling a close friend that I'm trying to get pregnant right?? Well, she says, YOUR TO YOUNG!! You need to make sure you can support a baby on your own!! Blah blah blah, she said its only because she cared bout me. If she cared about me she would support my decision, and be happy about it as I was going to make her a God Mother. She P I S S E D me off lastnight!! I dont need to know if I can support a baby on my own. I'm MARRIED. For two years even!! My husband isn't going anywhere. He even sent me a text message this morning that said, Your the air I breathe, my heart and soul, I love you with all I've got........ so yeah, I doubt I'll be in this alone. People need to leave me alone about my age. If your ready, then your ready..!!! she wants me to go out to parties and drink... But thats not me. I want to be a mother!! Is that too much to understand. Oh and she does not know I want her to be a God Mother. Not going I truly decide until, I actually get pregnant.

[diva_lorri]

20 aint that young.... now if you were under 18 and ttc id be concerned...
go for it best of luck :-)

[luv2bmommy]

in my response to one of these posts before i stated that "love is all you need" and someone replied that it was a line of cr*p. i think many misunderstand the meaning of that phrase. if you knew the true meaning of love you would know that it is the most true thing thats ever been said. first you love, and then out of that love comes all the strength and will to do anything you need to do to raise a child, be married, etc. without love you couldnt do any of those things for anyone. you are married, stable, and have a true desire to share your life and all the things you have to offer with a child. ive been down that road and i know how you feel. and it doesnt bother me anymore because the only opinions that matter are my family's. i still get weird looks or questions sometimes and i just laugh at them. upon meeting someone for the first time i always get asked the question "are they both from the same father?" lol. but even if they werent why would it matter to someone? if i were 30 it probably wouldnt. it probably doesnt help that i still look really really young for my age. but anyway i respect you and hope you get your BFP soon. just tell your friend how it is, dont let her make you feel bad or question yourself! because you will be doing enough of that to yourself as a parent let me tell ya! and you will be great.

[Crystal125]

Yeah I had the same problem with friends/family when I first found out I was pregnant with my first son (was an accidental pregnancy), I was of course only 17 when I had him. My boyfriend at the time, husband now, stayed with me and helped me through the pregnancy. We've been married now for 4 years (5 in Sept) and are currently pregnant with our 3rd child. We've been through so much (2 premature babies, 1 of which was a micro preemie) we might have been young.. but we had enough maturity and love for our kids. With our second baby we were only 18, we sat up ALL night days in a row taking tiny naps in the NICU waiting room to be with our 2lb daughter every 2 hrs for visitation (we lived over 2 hrs away from the hospital she was in, and there was no where for us to stay at the hospital). Age doesn't mean ****, as long as you're mature enough to handle whatever being a parent throws at you, and believe me it can throw some major curve balls! Your friend might not be supportive now, but who cares the only person you need to worry about being supportive is your husband, and it sounds like he is, so then don't worry about the friend. My best friend in high school actually quit talking to me when she found out I was pregnant, and honestly to this day I don't care.. it's her loss not mine. She's the one missing out on the joys my kids bring to MY life :).

[lacy5]

Hey dotn let anyone get you down, your married, you've been married for 2 yrs , you are doing far  better then most are to start w/. it sounds like you know what you are doing!! so go for it!

[itcouldhappen]

Thanks so much!!!! Im going about TTC and I'm waiting to test. I'm HOPING! Its going to be a BFP.

[BTS1022]

First off, Your not to young, if that was the case I would be royally screwed lol. Im 23 been married for 4 years and im on my 4th child. My first child was concieved when I was 17 and I had her when I was 18.

I think a lot of people try to suggest that your to young is because at your age you should be going out and partying and so forth, but that lifestyle isn't for everyone. You know at 23 I have yet to even get drunk, I have never been to a *party* or club.

I also have to agree that maturity plays a big role in how people see that we are too young, but older people don't always see us mature women as mature, they see us as 20 yrs old. It's like they say, don't judge a book by it's cover, that goes the same for people our age wanting to have babies.

I support you 100% and sending tons of very very sticky baby dust!

[shannyrae7]

At least it is a friend of your telling you. I have my Mother telling me I am too young. I am 24 years old, have been married for 2 years, and have my BA and a stable job. As long as you have the right attitude, the support, and the want go for it. This is a decision that is up to you and your husband NOT anyone else. They will not be the ones caring for your child.

[itcouldhappen]

thanks for all the support ladies. I am actually a stay at home wife. My husband makes enough to support me, 2 dogs, 80 million different bills. lol he has enough to give me 300.00 every two weeks. So were doing pretty okkk for ourselves. :) I would be at home with the baby, and he will continue to work. I make beaded jewelry for extra money, so I would continue to do so. I have been out of HS since 17. I did some online classes for college but it wasn't for me. Being a mother is! Thanks again ladies. I appreciate it.

[mommyoftwo28644]

Girl don't worry about friends and so called friends. I know that they are important to you but sometimes they don't know whats best for you. I got pregnant with my son when I was a senior in high school (unplanned) we just had been talking about getting engaged and found out I was pregnant. Well my plans were changed, we got engaged and then told my parents. Thank goodness my parents and in laws were very supportive. I had my son right after my 18th birthday and I do feel like I got left out on some things, but I wouldn't change it for nothing. Luckily I could go and do since my parents and inlaws were able to keep him we could go and do and get out and have a good time. I did wait until I was 21 to start TTC # 2  and when I was 22 close to 23 when I had her and we are currently TTC #3 and I am almost 25 with a head on my shoulders. I would have loved to go to college right after hs and get a degree in something and had a normal wedding (instead of being 6 months pregnant) but I am currently working on a two year degree/ BUT THE MAIN THING IS, is if you both want it it should matter how old or young you are as long are both ready. GOOD LUCK and I hope you get your BFP soon!

[mj_mommy_manda]

Me and you are pretty much in the same boat besides the fact that you have a husband.  I broke up with my boyfriend right before I found out I was pregnant.. and although i have had the oppurtunity to move back in and get back together with him i chose not to because of a few reasons but anyway.  I have a fulltime job at a hospital and honestly Im making the same amount of money as a lot of 30-50 year old women here doing the same job im doing! and I have awesome insurance.  Its 90% plus i get a 50% provider discount on all my doctors appt when i come to this hospital/clinic.  So Im paying almost nothing for my doctors appointments, and working my butt off to save money for this baby.  NO ONE has the right to tell you you are too young.. Especially your best friend! your best friend should be supportive not bring you down! My "best friend" is pregnant too but shes a month behind me and it seems like she gets jealous everytime I talk about my baby shower, or ultrasounds, or baby names.  She also asked me to have my baby shower in July instead of the end of August because she didnt want it to be in the same month as hers because we have a lot of the same friends.. I was like umm... first of all i think at 7 months along is even a little early to have a baby shower so why are you trying to have yours at 5 1/2? and 2nd of all I want to have my baby shower before all my friends go back to college.  So I told her that maybe she should have hers during Thanksgiving break seeing as how all our college friends would be back.. and shes like "I guess its a possibility but IDK" Sometimes I just want to slap her! shes only 14 weeks along!! im 20! but anyway. So yeah best friends can be annoying to say the least.  Maybe your friend is jealous that you are married and ready to settle down.  Maybe part of her wants that.  I know my friend gets jealous everytime I bring up my ex because him and i get along really well and he comes to all of my appointments and her babys dad has been nonexistant.  Its stupid and annoying I know but secretly even people you have always considered your "best friends" always want to have better than you. But anyway.. NO YOU ARE NOT TOO YOUNG.. theres 13 year old girls that have babies everyday.. who cares.  Age is a number.. Maturity and selflesness is what matters.. and good luck *baby dust*  <3 Amanda

[itcouldhappen]

rachie204- thank you!!!! I feel
much better. I wish
more people were understanding like you are where I live. It would make things better!!

[rachie204]

sweetie dont worry about your friend...I think she was probably trying to be helpful but it sounds like she made a poor attempt.  My motto is if I want your advice i'll ask for it...LOL.  I had my son about one month before I turned 17.  I was not married and I could not support myself or my son, luckly I had an awesome support team. Still I was a wondeful mom. I am now 21 and after one year of trying and one miscarriage we are pregnant again.  I am now married to the most wonderful man in the world.  Age has nothing to do with being a good mom.  It's about being selfless and loving that child enough to do whatever needs to be done.  I was just as good of a mother when I was 17 as I am now at 21.  Best of luck!

[babyscience]

I think as long as you are in a stable relationship...which you are there is no problem with it.  However I will tell you I have a few friends that had babies at 20 and they say now they feel they missed out on a lot because everyone else was going out and didnt have kids...or were even married for that matter.  But that is not to say you will feel that way at all.  But I am sure you will do fine with the support of you hubby.  I think it is extremely hard for single young mothers....hats off to them....or to any single mother for that matter!

[itcouldhappen]

Riot- your so awesome!! I love how you worded everything!! Its nice to have someone who understands!!!
Not that you other ladies dont, I still appreciate you!!!!!
I feel better and if my so called friend wants to say something about it, then too bad.
I'm working on my family, and I'm happy to lose part of my life to bring another one in!

[Riot_Queen]

As long as you got yourself together, and have a clean, loving home to bring your baby into, got a steady job to buy him/her things they need, then I don't see a problem.
18 is considered to be ADULT.
After 18 no one can tell you $HIT.

If you want a baby, then go right ahead girl, ain't nobody gunna stop you. It's your decision and if your friend wants to be a lil b*tch-
Then tell her to f*ck off.

You're 20 years old, you seem to have a good head on your shoulders, and a husband you can rely on-
what's the f*ckin problem here.

Sorry it just makes me angry when people poke their heads in peoples' businesses every which way they can.
I got pregnant on ACCIDENT.
I'm 18, I got a sturdy head on my sholders, my fiance of almost 2 years now, is NOT leaving my side no matter WHAT he said to me...
We have a a clean, loving home to bring our baby back to...
And we got the cash.
And everyone seems to have a problem with me.

"You need to give that baby up for adoption! You're too young!"

FUUUUUUCCCKKKKK that.
I went through so much trouble these past 6 months, I got 3 more to go, I ain't just gunna throw all the effort I put into having a healthy pregnancy AWAY.

Plus, my mother was adopted, and I see how much it bothers her that her parents "Didn't want her."
And she also just pushed me away growing up- she was never there for me... and these past few years, she basically just threw me away and didn't want much to do with me after she got with her new boyfriend.
I'm NOT just gunna throw my baby away like that. I don't f*cking think so.

Okay I'm gunna go now cuz I'm all p*ssed off now. lol
sorry

[Linzola1]

Hey I completely understand where you are comming from. I got pregnant in September 2007 and had a miscarriage and my DH and I decided to go ahead and try agian imeditally. Everyone kept telling me that I was too young and like you I have a great husband who is not going anywhere. I told everyone to kiss my well you know... I got pregnant agian in October and well everyone shut up and now could not be happier.... Best Of Luck to you and dont let anyone influence your decision.... If you need to talk PM me.... By the way I am 19 and 38.3 weeks pregnant and will be 20 on June 21st..

[itcouldhappen]

it drives me crazy when they use governent assistance for that!! if they know better I mean!!!


I'm having a baby one day, and I'll be complete and CONTENT!! I can't wait.

[itcouldhappen]

it was deleted. It wasn't showing any posts I already made on here... And someone undid the deletedness haha. It wasn't pushed down, I went to look for it, and browneyed-said it must have gotten deleted by mistake. :)

Just happy its back!!!

[martikadragoon]

I know how you feel. My MIL said we were "TOO YOUNG" etc.  etc.  well, I'm 21 and been married almost 3 yrs. (Sept9= 3 yrs, I'm due sept. 13!!)

But there were so many other ppl around me supporting us that it didn't bother me too much. :)   PLUS- Why the h*ll should someone bag on you about being too young when your married and stable?

I don't get it. People now adays don't focus on the REAL problem!

[sweetangel7]

Personally, I think that there is a fair amount of younger women who just 'want' a baby and never think about whether or not they and their partner have the means to provide for it.  IF you and your husband can provide then I don't think it is anybody's business to tell you or anyone else who can provide for a child whether or not they are the 'right' age.  HOWEVER, for young women whose only plan is government assistance, I disagree with them having children they cannot take care of because that is not a PLAN.

[pmperez]

If this is what you were looking for it wasnt deleted just got knocked down to the bottom

[itcouldhappen]

I told her, this is what I really want. She still said as of right now she can't support me.
Ive heard I'm too young from many people... Dont they know back in the day, girls had babies at 13+? Today's world is different and its mostly frowned upon from older people. I am more than stable, capable, and willing to set aside my life to bring another one in...



Mainly, I just wish she would support me.

[Fay1984]

sorry firm* decision

[minbumthy]

If you feel you are ready and that is what both you and your husband want then go for it......shoot my parents were 18 when they got married and 21 when they had me....I was 24 when I had my first child but I do have to say that you have to be completely selfless.....you will loose a lot of freedom and in affect a little of your own identity when you have a child......just make sure youve had enough time to be you because you wont have that freedom back for at least 7 years if not more.....and always remember you are really young and have plenty of time still to have children......besides its all about where you are in your life at that given momment......I change my mind all the time about what I want and a lot has changed for me between what I wanted at 20 and where Iam now at 25......